Dangerous Pursuit
by frostlight
Summary: Two scientists, two experiments, two boys born through machines, there were supposed to be only one Ultimate Coordinator, now there are two. Who would win the title of the best? Yaoi.
1. Prologue

**I do not own Gundam Seed.**

**_Dangerous Pursuit_**

by : frost2light**_  
_**

Two scientists, two experiments, two boys born through machines, there was supposed to be only one Ultimate Coordinator, now there are two. Who would win the title of the best?

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Prologue

" Damn it! Why won't you admit that your way is wrong? You cannot achieve a living human body using this way, have you not seen through the results that we have getting? How much more valuable chemicals and resources are you about to throw down the drain before you are satisfied that this way just won't work!"

" Shut up! What do you know about this? You are my assistant, you promised that you would not question my experiments, that you would stay by the sidelines just to help! You promised that in the beginning, are you trying to tell me that you are going back on your word now!"

" You do not understand, this is no longer worth the money or your time, we have to be doing something else before they throw us out! They are getting impatient! They want results not some what ifs! Be satisfied by the earlier projects, we have achieved what we started out wanting, please, just make them money and not focus on your needs, not when we still owe them. Don't you remember the consequences? Have you forgotten what they could do!"

" Do not question my decisions, Meng, you have no say here." The older of the two scientists sneered, his expression twisted and ugly, no longer the man Meng knew and respected. This experiment had changed him, mutated him into a monster that no longer cared about anything else except the results at hand. Meng shook his head, unwilling to give up, he owned his friend, no matter what he said, that much.

" Please Patrick, don't do this, look around you, just look dammit! How long more will you keep your eyes closed to this monstrosity! How long more are you willing to create something that cannot be created!" Meng waved both his hands around the laboratory, willing Patrick to look at the monsters that he had created, each floating desolately, lifelessly, in their own respective tubes that contained a bluish liquid that bubbled once in a while. All of them resembled foetuses yet all of them were either missing or had an additional something, a hand, a leg, eyes or nothing at all. They were non living beings, things, that could have been something, human, but all they were now after the experiments that both of them had done, they were nothing more than monsters that nobody wanted, kept in the dark for the shadows to play with.

The room they were in was actually one of the many laboratories that was in the building and they were just two of the many other thousands and hundreds other scientists that was working for the same company, Clyne. It was wide and spacious and filled to the brim with scientific gadgets that churned and pumped and breathed chemicals. Their experiment had started out a dream, a dream to make the world a better place by creating a way to modify normal human genes, to make them better, more superior. They had succeeded in a way that neither of them had imagined, not even in their wildest dreams. Yet, while Meng had been contented with the results that they had achieved by that time, Patrick, his mentor had wanted more, much much more. He wanted to create the Ultimate Coordinator, the best among the best. His motive was simple, to see if he could.

However, Meng was not that easily deceived, he knew that it was more than that. For as long as he knew him, Patrick had never been able to hide much from Meng, not in the past, not now. Meng knew that he had ambitions, he knew that Patrick wanted to rule the world, Patrick had once told him while he had been drunk during that one shocking night. Meng had refused to listen to Patrick talking about things that should never have been brought up in the first place, especially in a world, in the condition that they were currently in. It was a world where they would be shot on the spot if they were thought to be betraying the current ruler, no trial, no warning, just death awaited those who dared to breach that fine line. Meng knew that as a fact personally as he had been through the consequences of crossing that line.

" _Mamma!"_

_Crimson red blood._

_Gunshots ringing through the silent night._

_Pain._

Meng shuddered at that memory, that starless, moonless night, his parents, both politicians, brother and sister had been killed without a second thought, he had been shot too, twice but it seemed that fate wanted him to survive that day, and he had been saved by none other but Patrick. Patrick had been passing by just by luck, he was just seventeen at that time, a teenager with big dreams while Meng was barely three. Patrick had hid in the alley while he heard the shots before entering the pillaged and plundered house to check for survivors. He had found Meng lying in a pool of blood, barely conscious, bleeding heavily from an abdomen and chest wound, clutching an encyclopaedia tightly in his small fist as the bodies of his family littered around him, mangled beyond recognization, blown apart by the endless bullets that had been emptied into their once warm living room. Patrick had wasted no time in trying to save Meng and the rest was as it is right now. Meng had indeed wanted to go after the people who had done that atrocious act for revenge but Patrick had stopped him, had convinced him that it was not worth it. He had saved Meng's life twice and for that Meng would forever be grateful, that was why he was doing this right now.

" Please Patrick, listen to me just once, just this once, give it up. It's for the best! You saved my life once, I owe you my life and I will do anything to repay you, please trust me." Meng tried convincing his mentor while he left the most important part unsaid.

_Let me save you this time, not from any enemies but from you._

" I see."

Meng looked hopefully at Patrick whose expression was inscrutable, slightly surprised but relieved nonetheless that he was willing to listen to reason. " Tha.."

" I think we should just go our own ways, I see that you have become the coward."

" What!" Meng spluttered, eyes widening in surprise and hurt. " Patrick you can't be joking with me, what do you mean by that!"

" It seems that we have different opinions about what we are doing right now, I want to be more that what I am right now and I'm willing to sacrifice anything and everything to achieve that one elusive dream, I know that I'm near, I can feel that success just beyond my grasp, a little more and I'll be there, I had hoped that you would be by my side when I succeed but it seems that I had chosen a chicken as my assistant, all you can think of is the fear of those above us, you are like a dog howling for the world to hear about your pain, yet doing nothing to be better than the people who have us under their feet right now. Well, if that is the case, I might as well cut off any ties that I have with you and we'll just go our own ways, do what we want. I do not see any point for the both of us to continue working together." Patrick said as his eyes stared at the dumbstruck Meng coldly, haughtily, with no warmth in trace.

" I see, this is what we had become after twenty years of being partners, of being more than friends." Meng said bitterly, his blue eyes staring hard at the man he had idolized for so long, disappointment filling his heart at his mentor's sudden announcement caused by the urge, the need for power and fame. The two things Patrick had warned Meng never to be influenced by. Meng's mouth quirked up into a mirthless smile, before nodding once and turning around to walk out of the laboratory, he had tried and failed, yet, he had not yet given up this fight, there was still hope, he would make Patrick see, one way or another, but, his footsteps were halted by Patrick's voice calling his name once.

" Meng."

" Have…" Meng's voice broke off, the smile on his face as he thought that Patrick had come to his senses beginning and freezing as he fell backwards, hands stretching out to a friend that no longer was the person he knew, a pattern of red blossoming across his white lab coat, spreading wider and wider as the pain burst through his senses, setting them on fire. The last thing he heard and saw before the darkness consumed him was Patrick holding a smoking silenced gun, smiling gently at the falling boy he had saved in the past.

" You are right, your life is mine."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Cagalli Yula Athha, current representative of Orb, hated meetings, hated the responsibility that she was forced to bear at her current age and most of all she hated the people she had to associate with, grimaced as she felt her vision waver and dim, cursing her bad luck as she fought hard against the urge to empty her stomach, swallowing the bile that was rising at the back of her throat and which was currently threatening to embarrass her in front of the whole Orb council. She forced herself to smile at the people who sat in front of her looking at her quizzically while her hands gripped the arm rest on her chair. Hard.

_Focus, damn it, focus!_

" Representative, are you all right?" One of the twelve members asked tentatively, her brown eyes concerned. Her name is Taylor Madison, a strategist, quiet and unassuming with mousy brown hair and large rounded spectacles that covered half her face yet one of the smartest person on the Orb council. Her judgement and decisions were rarely out of place and she did not care much about politics, about power, all she wanted was for Orb is to be a prosperous country and whoever who could achieve that aim, she would be behind that person all the way. She was loyal in that sense.

" I'm all right Taylor, where were we just now?" Cagalli said as she tried her best to work her facial muscles into something that resembled a smile, she could not afford to show her vulnerability at this moment. It was bad enough that she had just been inaugurated and most of the members on the council doubted her ability, but the recent blackout episodes and the nightmares that haunted her sleep was scaring her witless. Cagalli did not believe in past karma, refused to bend that low to believe in destiny, but the dreams that followed her was trying to convince her otherwise.

"_Help me"_

_Violet eyes._

_Destruction._

" Our financial status and the plans for the next year, Representative." Yet another member drawled, his voice irritating Cagalli as she tried to hide her distaste and frown that came naturally when she was forced endure his presence.

Montage Dirge. One of the uncountable who had craved the position of Representative, bragged long and loud about that becoming a fact sooner rather than later and definitely one of the staunch supporters of his own campaign. His arrogant attitude had caused many problems in the past and created much of the tension that still floated above the Orb council like a dark rain cloud. His brash attitude and irresponsible nature insulted many and the people on the Orb council did not take gladly to men like Montage who revelled in their own greatness and refuses to cooperate with the rest of them.

" And what do you suggest we do?" Cagalli asked him, knowing that much as a fact that asking so would be stepping on a land mine that would blow up in her face, but surprisingly, Montage kept his mouth shut and barely shrugged.

" I'll just do what you think is right." He said as he looked at her, his fake smile still plastered on his face, irritating Cagalli to no end.

But, no sooner did Cagalli open her mouth, a knock on the door stopped her from saying what she wanted before she frowned at the recent disturbance, wondering what her secretary was doing, or if she had forgotten that Cagalli had asked her not to let anybody disturb their current proceedings.

" Come in." Cagalli called out impatiently, but slightly thankful for the distraction, she needed time to compose herself as she was feeling incredibly uncomfortable right now, the bile that she had forcefully swallowed making it's way through once again up her trachea. However her day seemed to be taking an unexpected turn for the worse when the door opened to reveal who it was.

" You…"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato stared hard at the screen that flickered in front of him, willing it to steady itself so that he could use it in order to finish up his assignments from his college, but instead of doing so, the whole screen went blank. Kira's violet eyes stared disbelievingly at his laptop and groaned at his misfortune. His laptop had officially announced it's retirement from the harsh world that it had been brought into without second thought, leaving Kira stranded with three unfinished assignments that were due tomorrow and five lab reports that was due today.

" Crap!" He cursed out loud, as he pushed a slim hand through his brown hair while his violet eyes scanned his bare surroundings for something that he could hit or kick. None registered except the empty bare space and he flopped dejectedly onto the floor, his eyes staring up into the mouldy ceiling of his apartment.

He was eighteen years old with no parents or siblings, leaving in a dump apartment for 500 per month, studying electronics as his major and now officially doomed for expulsion from his college, not from crap results but from being dirt poor. His life was turning out way way out of what he had imagined it being. Kira sighed heavily before closing his eyes trying to figure out a way to get himself out of the situation that he was currently in, but coming up with absolutely nothing. He sighed once again, before propping himself up with one arm and staring blankly at his laptop screen cursing his bad luck.

Suddenly, his vision dimmed and white spots started dancing in front of his eyes as his vision of the room started wavering, creating blurred images, and all this while unknown images started flashing across his mind.

_A blonde girl._

_A room full of people._

_A girl with pink hair.._

Kira's breath started coming out in gasps as the pain as if being flayed alive ate at him and he tried hard not to collapse onto the floor. He struggled up onto his knees, hands splayed out to steady himself, hissing in pain as the movement caused the pain to intensify, pushing with all his might for him to stand up and to stumble as if drunk towards the wooden cupboard in his bedroom, willing himself not to fall. His hands trembled violently as he fumbled with the cupboard doors, pulling it aside to reach for that one thing that could make all these go away. An image of a green haired boy and the words that he said in the past flashed through his jumbled mind.

" _Remember only when you need it, I can't always provide the magical cure."_

" I think this proves as a need, Nicol." Kira mumbled, amazed at his ability to still think coherently.

His fingers grasped at one of the white bottles and he pulled at it, dropping the cap onto the floor in his haste, ignoring the ringing that it made when it hit the floor and concentrating all his might at completing the task at hand. Kira poured the contents of the white bottle into his mouth, gulping at the liquid hungrily, he was sweating profusely and he could feel the cold sweat dribbling down his body, soaking the shirt he was currently wearing, making it stick uncomfortably onto his back. The effect was immediate as he could feel the pain receding back into the cave where it belonged as he slumped tiredly onto the cool cement floor. He laid his head against the coldness and worked hard at getting back his bearings, slowly calming his breath and racing heart. This was not the first time that it had happened, he was used to it actually, but it was the first time that he was getting images of things that he had never experienced before. His lips quirked up into a tired grin and he whispered to no one in particular.

" Great. Just great. This certainly certifies that I'm nuts."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dearkka Elsman grinned at his opponent and sparring partner as he lunged at him with a punch, enjoying the thrill of the fight. It had been so long since he had the chance to against somebody he had no confidence of actually winning.

" Don't hold back, Yzak!" He shouted over the din of the cheering crowd as he watched the silver haired teenager sneer back at him, his handsome face arrogant and cold.

" Even if I did, would you still be able to defeat me?" He said, smirking as he blocked the punch and followed up with a kick to Dearkka's midsection, he too was enjoying the exercise very much.

They were both nineteen, young, wild and proud, living on the streets with the worst with no more than the clothes on their backs. They had always been together since the day both of them had met under the bridge during that one rainy Sunday afternoon. They had spoken nothing over the sounds of the water rushing by, sitting far away yet near enough to let the other notice their presence, they had kept silent the whole time, thinking thoughts only they knew, but a friendship had started from that day, nobody knew the reason but it just happened so naturally. Dearkka Elsman, with blood streaking his blonde unruly hair and bruises that covered his whole body had grinned and Yzak Joule, his silver hair cropped close to his pale face had responded with the universal sign – his middle finger. That was the beginning of their new lives together.

" It's time to end this." Yzak said as he flipped Dearkka neatly onto his back, straddling him immediately after the throw to prevent him from getting up, all the while grinning like a cat with a canary in it's mouth, satisfied and gleeful.

" You lose, Dearkka." He taunted while their makeshift referee counted from one to ten before announcing Yzak as the winner.

The crowd that was watching the fight both roared and moaned at the decision, half of them had been betting on the silver haired boy while the others for the blonde, creating echoes in the dark alleyway. Dearkka laid on his back pretending to be winded, relaxing to the sounds of people talking above the ruckus as he eyed the silver haired teenager who was still gloating at his win, sitting above him. Dearkka smiled inwardly understanding that tonight was one night that would be hell for him but it did not matter, he was used to it. They were friends and if this was how friends showed each other that they cared about the other, he would gladly accept what he had in store. He had been alone for too long, now that he had tasted comradeship, nothing would stand in his way to revel in it.

His train of thoughts were broken by yet another teenager shouting, but this time it was a girl dressed in cargo pants and a tight plain black shirt that accentuated her curves and slight build, her brown eyes determined to not let any of the people who had betted go as she went about her role in their little group of three. " Hey you! Pay up!"

Dearkka smiled as her voice continued to float into his ears. Miriallia Haww, an orphan with brown hair streaked with pink and warm brown eyes. She was the sister both Yzak and him had never had, fierce, protective of her territory and the things that comes with it yet the kindest girl that he have ever known. They were a family, an odd one yes, with all kinds of personality and looks but a family nonetheless. Everything they did they do together and nothing could separate them.

The backstreet that they were in continued to empty as time passed by and soon all that was left were the three of them and the walls that separated the rich and the poor. Dearkka got up slowly from the cold tar road that was littered with cigarette butts, beer cans and dirty muddy water before dusting his clothes and grinned at his other two companions.

" What's today's collection?" He rubbed his hand against each other as he asked Miri whom was counting the crumpled bills that were in her hand carefully, forehead scrunched up in concentration.

" This would be enough to last us a few weeks." She concluded, her dirt streaked face relaxing it's stern expression earlier and breaking into a smile that lit up her surroundings.

" A few weeks! That's it? No extra?" Yzak said disbelievingly, his face bunching up into a frown. " Are you sure!"

" Cool it Yzak, we'll think of other things when we get to it. Why? Do you need money?" Miri asked, her eyes curious. " I think we have enough to spare, how much is it that you need?"

" It's none of your business." Yzak huffed before shoving his hands in his pockets and walking out of the cold dark alley, ignoring both of his companion's concerned glances. Dearkka shrugged once before nodding towards Yzak's receding back and following the other boy's footsteps, leaving Miri behind once again to look at both boys' backs. She sighed as she knelt down to tie her shoelaces that had come undone earlier in the evening before setting off after the two older boys.

" Hey, you guys, wait up!"

Miri caught up with the two laughing boys and found that Yzak was no longer in a foul mood. She sighed as she had long before accepted the fact that Yzak mood could swing from one extreme to the other and it was a constant running joke between the three of them. She soon joined in the laughter and words as they walked back to where they had their hideout as the sun set, throwing it's last yellow rays before finally resting for the day. Neither one of them noticed the pair of eyes that followed the three nor the young teenager that stepped out of the shadows long after they were gone, his face expressionless with his eyes shielded by the dark glasses that he was currently sporting.

" Found them." He said under his breath before vanishing once again into the dark shadows.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was dark, with barely a light bulb in sight and the only one that was working was giving off weak glows, threatening to flicker out any moment soon. There were two people in the room, one sitting the other kneeling, the man who was sitting was playing with a pen, twirling it around and around his fingers, as if deep in thought. None of them said anything as minutes ticked past slowly. Suddenly, the man felt himself lose control of his pen and as he watched it fall, the figure that was kneeling disappeared and within moments, he had his pen back.

Eighteen years had passed by since that last failure and he had hit the jackpot, maybe the act of trying to murder his assistant was the turning point. The man smiled as the memory of that day replayed itself in his brain.

"_Meng."_

_A gunshot._

He had no qualms of killing, he had murdered more than once, the experiments that he had created, the live beings that he had used before trying to recreate them, those were all lives and yet he had no illusions about him caring about any of them. His heart did not bother, did not bleed at the mothers who had cried when he had told them that their kids were no longer living, that the operation had not been successful, they had wailed and screamed at him, beating with their fists against his body but all that, none of it affected him, he knew that their kids were alive, it was just a scam to get more lab rats. It was their fault that they wanted their child to be perfect. The day that he had pulled the trigger on Meng, he had moved out from the building, taking his notes, his results and fled to the other side of the world to escape detection. His journey, the money needed had been paid off by those foolish parents who had been greedy and who had wanted their child to be the best. When he was in a good mood, he made his operations succeed, when he wanted others to feel the pain he was going through his failures, he deliberately lied and took their child, leaving their bodies in a dump before taking off to yet another part of the world to continue his research.

And everything had paid off.

The man looked proudly at his prized experiment as he resumed his kneeling position right before him with his head bowed down low as a sign of respect and submission before asking, " Did it go well?"

" Yes, sir, it did. I found the people that we had been looking for, they are no more than street urchins, nobody would suspect that they are gone, nobody would miss them, I have been following them for quite some time and they are in all fact nobody important." The teenager with blue black hair responded monotonously.

" You cannot say that Athrun Zala, they are after all your siblings, even though they are not connected through blood, they did come before you. I have to say that their experiments failed and they did not produce the results that I have been looking for as you did, but, they are still your brothers."

" Yes sir. But there is something else that I have to report."

" Do continue, enlighten me."

" They are with a girl and she seems to be their important friend."

" Girl? Friend? Hmm…"

" Do you want me to dispose of her to make things easier to be done in the future?"

" No, she might prove to be useful, maybe as a trigger. Let's just observe them for this moment, ne?"

" As you wish sir, but when would you like me to bring my 'brothers' back?"

" Yare, yare, are you in such a haste to have company with you? Don't you like being alone with me?" The man asked his features still hidden by the dark as he got up from the chair he had been sitting in, but Athrun could feel him smiling as his hand caressed his face, body before leaning in to kiss him on his lips, nipping and biting playfully while Athrun stayed there unmoving, used to the treatment.

Soon, the man straightened himself and started to speak again, " Do not worry, I shall tell you when the time comes. You shall lead them all on to the path of glory, you as the Ultimate Coordinator and your brothers as your left and right arm. Your knights in shining armour. All three of you shall rule the world and I, I shall prove to the world that I, Patrick Zala is the best of them all."

" Oh, and do please drop the formality, it's grating on my nerves."

Athrun had stayed dispassionate the whole time as the man who had created him cackled in glee and his features that were hidden before were exposed to the dim light that shone in the dilapidated house where both of them had lived since time immemorial. Patrick had been a handsome man once with a strong jaw and a high noble nose, but those features though still there were twisted and somehow his face resembled something like a devil.

Yet, he was a father that Athrun had never had and for that he would stay loyal and obedient to the devil himself till the end of time, at least till he finally finds what he has been looking for and he answered, " Yes, father."

* * *

Author's note : Hope you like it. This fanfiction is still in try out mode. It really depends on the reaction of you guys, so like it tell me so.  



	2. The Unfolding Story

_Previously on Gundam Seed : The Story Begins _

" _**Great. Just great. This certainly certifies that I'm nuts."**_

"_**Come in." Cagalli called out impatiently, but slightly thankful for the distraction, she needed time to compose herself as she was feeling incredibly uncomfortable right now, the bile that she had forcefully swallowed making it's way through once again up her trachea. However her day seemed to be taking an unexpected turn for the worse when the door opened to reveal who it was.  
**_

" _**You…"**_

**_Miri caught up with the two laughing boys and found that Yzak was no longer in a foul mood. She sighed as she had long before accepted the fact that Yzak mood could swing from one extreme to the other and it was a constant running joke between the three of them. She soon joined in the laughter and words as they walked back to where they had their hideout as the sun set, throwing it's last yellow rays before finally resting for the day. Neither one of them noticed the pair of eyes that followed the three nor the young teenager that stepped out of the shadows long after they were gone, his face expressionless with his eyes shielded by the dark glasses that he was currently sporting._**

" _**Found them." He said under his breath before vanishing once again into the dark shadows.**_

" **_As you wish sir, but when would you like me to bring my 'brothers' back?"_**

Gundam Seed : Chapter One

The Unfolding Story

by : frost2light

It was an understatement to say that Cagalli Yula Athha was not pleased at the arrival of the person in front of her and even more displeased as she was at the moment, she was extremely annoyed that her secretary had decided to go against her orders for them to be left alone during the meeting, as irritating and taxing on the nerves as it was. The more she thought, the more annoyed she felt and the fact that she was trying hard to prevent herself from embarrassing herself by puking in front of the council, she now had to act as if she welcomed the person that was standing in front of her with that all seeing grey eyes of hers.

" You." Cagalli muttered one simple word which elicited a small smile from the pink haired teenager before turning to glare at her cowering secretary whom knew perfectly clear that she was in deep trouble by Cagalli's death glare.

" I thought that I had given you specific orders that we were not to be disturbed, and if it was extremely important, you would situate that particular person in the VIP guestroom and to tell me through the normal channels. I hope that this would not happen again." Cagalli said coldly before waving her hand to show that the secretary's presence was no longer needed.

" I'm sorry." Her secretary managed to squeak out before she all but turned tail and ran out of the tension filled room with thirteen pair of eyes watching her like a hawk, relieved that she was able to get off the hook with simply a slight reprimand.

Cagalli watched frowning as her secretary escaped the room, half wishing that she could do the same, her mind whirling at the possible reasons why her current visitor was here before snapping back to the present and clearing her throat to regain the others attention.

" I'm sorry for the unfortunate disturbance but due to these circumstances, I'm afraid the meeting would have to be adjourned for the time being. All of you would be contacted in the next few days about the following meeting and I hope that all of you would at least prepare for it. Those who have a say in anything, prepare a proposal and we would discuss it in the meeting to come. Thank you."

Murmurings filled the room as all twelve council members packed and got ready to leave, all nodding in respect as they passed the pink haired teenager who stood there by the door with a boy whom none of them recognized. They knew her by name and by rank and that she was extremely important to Orb's financial situation being the president of the Clyne company, but other than that she was still very much the enigma. Even after the war, even after being in the limelight for so long, her private life, her records, not even a speck of dirt could be unearthed about her and that made the council members very uneasy. They were not used to be kept in a dark about someone, when and what they needed to know, they knew. It was not that they have not tried to dig deeper into her roots, both out of curiosity and need, but for all their efforts all that they got was an extremely big blank wall. Lacus Clyne, successor of the Clyne company and a person that holds much military power in Plant was the mystery everyone in Orb wanted to know about.

Lacus could feel their eyes on her, know without a doubt what those members were thinking but she could not have cared less, she was used to those probing eyes, both back in Plant and in Orb. She smiled as each of them passed before seating herself in one of the chairs that had been filled before and smiled placating at Cagalli who was still frowning.

" You shouldn't look so fierce, you'll scare off everyone." She said, her voice lilting and sweet as her gray eyes danced with humour and amusement.

" I'm sorry for that impolite treatment my secretary just provided, I think we would all be more comfortable if we were elsewhere instead of this stuffy boardroom, don't you think? I propose that we move to somewhere better, perhaps my office?" Cagalli ignored Lacus's playful nudge, knowing better than to think Lacus was all looks and no brains.

"It isn't the secretary's fault that I'm here, I convinced her to let me in, and I hope that she would not get into trouble on my behalf. This is fine, but by the way, I think you are the one who would be more comfortable if you were somewhere else instead of here. You are looking extremely pale. Are you all right?"

Cagalli froze at Lacus's words and cursed her luck that today was the day that everything had to happen all at once, she had forgotten about Lacus's perceptiveness, something that she should not have, but she regained her composure and forced herself to smile for the umpteenth time since the beginning of the day and said, " That would be unnecessary, I'm fine, maybe I was being cooped up for too long in this room. Let's get down to business now shall we?"

" If you insist."

Lacus's expression immediately turned serious, even predatory as she waved the boy who was standing behind her quietly forward. He obeyed instantly and laid the briefcase that was in his hands on the table before flipping it open and turning it towards Cagalli. Cagalli's eyes opened wide in surprise as she stared at the contents in the briefcase before her expression changed into one of anger.

" What is the meaning of this?" She questioned, her voice strained while her amber eyes probed at the other's face, searching for the reason why she was here.

" I think it is quite evident, you do still remember the offer that I had made in the beginning right? I hope that you do, as I hate to repeat myself over and over again, I think that would be rather ungainly of me, don't you agree?" Lacus said.

" Do you think that you could buy Orb's neutrality? Did you think that we would be that easy to be bought off? How could you do what you are doing right now when you knew how much my father fought to keep this nation on neutral grounds. You were the one who killed him even if he died by Plant's hands because he wanted to stay that way, because you encouraged him to stay true to his beliefs. Did you think that I would allow you to this! You of all people who advocated peace, what do you think you are doing now? Frankly I do not understand you intentions."

" Your father was a true hero…" Lacus trailed off as she remembered the distinguished man, the man who had been so passionate, so dead set on peace before snapping out of her reverie and continuing her sentence, " But even heroes die and he died a honourable death, you should be thankful that he was not labelled a traitor by Plant."

" What the hell are you talking about! Traitor by Plant! He had no ties to Plant, no ties to even you except that he was unfortunate enough to have known you." Cagalli fumed, unable to believe what she was hearing at this moment.

" Oh Cagalli, how naïve can you be? But, do not worry, I shall tell you everything and then you shall understand the whole situation. Maybe then you would change your mind." Lacus said as she smiled pityingly at the blonde haired girl that was seated in front of her.

"Uzumi Nara Athha was once a council member of Plant before he got sent here to this place, to this country. Did you not know that Orb was at first under Plant's rule? Your father was supposed to be their spokesperson but somehow somewhere he took it upon himself that he was the leader of Orb and soon, he wanted more than being a spokesperson. I think he really fell in love with this country and by doing so, your father nearly caused a war between Plant and Orb because he wanted to release Orb from Plant. With much discussion, Plant agreed to let go and they agreed to this preposterous idea of his because they thought that by doing so, they could control Orb even by being at the sidelines, maybe they had thought that Uzumi would soon come running back to them when he realises what a burden it was to run his own country."

"But they were wrong, they miscalculated, underestimated your father's will. Your father I must admit is one of the most brilliant businessman and ruler that I have met. They should have known that Uzumi was not a man who went to war without a plan, and with that they completely fell into his trap, but Plant is not one to give up so easily too. They too have backup plans and by implementing one of them, they succeeded in getting rid of one large brick wall. I do think it was such a shame that he had to die so soon, but if he was out of the way then Orb would once again fall back into Plant's arms. It had been decided long time ago."

" You were their backup plan, am I not right?" Cagalli asked, coldly, her amber eyes narrowed.

" No, I wasn't. The Earth Alliance was."

" What do you mean by that?" Cagalli questioned, more confused than ever.

" Murata Azrael, the leader of the Blue Scorpions, we knew how he would think when he was desperate, we anticipated his decision and we just directed him to that conclusion and Panama was the best choice."

" What are you trying to say?" Cagalli asked, her expression one of horror, she did not want to hear what Lacus had to say next yet she was curious, her need to know more powerful than the need to stay alive.

" The saying curiosity kills the cat does apply very much in this situation." Lacus joked before her grey eyes narrowed and she got back down to business. " What I'm implying right now is that you let go of Orb and that I would let you live. The money here is enough for you to retire and live comfortably like queen until the day you die. Isn't that enough? I understand that you hate being bound to this country, to being it's leader, don't you think you should be living a better life? A freer life where you are no longer chained by dress codes, by the things you say or the judging eyes of those people who wished that they could be rid of you? You must admit that this offer is rather tempting."

" They killed my father because they wanted Orb back? What role are you playing in this? The damsel in distress from ago, was it just an act?"

" No and yes. There are many things that you have no idea about, Cagalli. The damsel in distress, that was in the past, why should we talk about it now? Plant wants Orb back and I as one of their people would do my best to get it back for them."

" Why does Plant want it back? Who is your immediate superior? Why are you following what they say so much? What happened to the Lacus who did not care about power or fame, just peace?" Cagalli forced the anger back down as she tried to find out more.

" Don't be that inquisitive Cagalli, you just have to think about the now and not the future, because the future of Orb does not include you."

" What if I refuse?"

" Then you would realize the futility of going against me, against Plant. Can you imagine this country without the Clyne Company as it's financial supporter? People would be out of jobs, out of work, inflation would occur, prices rise, more and more people would be angered, at loss at what to do, soon internal small civil wars would be waged and sooner or later everything would just blow up in your face. Do you want that to happen? After what your father had worked so hard to achieve? Orb is a peaceful country that none of us want to destroy."

" Then what the hell are you doing? By buying off Orb and retuning it to Plant, don't you think that Orb would be once again forced to play a role in things that they do not want a part of? I know that Plant have never been satisfied by the outcome of the war, the people there still want revenge for what happened at Heliopolis, for Junius Seven, I have heard rumours that all of you are planning the second war between Naturals and Coordinators, but why! Why after all your hard work to make peace? You fought so hard the last time, why now? Why of all times are you doing what your father thought was wrong?"

" There are things that change with time and human's thoughts and feelings are one of them. My father was a fool, I see that now. Do not think that you know me Cagalli, you certainly don't, I shall give you yet another week to think about my offer before I go ahead with what I had just told you. Be warned that I'm definitely not a person to be crossed and I mean what I say."

Lacus got up smoothly from where she had been sitting after finishing that last sentence and left the room leaving a shocked and furious Cagalli behind staring at her leaving back with tightly clenched fists.

" Please consider what Miss Lacus has to offer, she does not want more deaths on her hands, please understand what you don't see doesn't mean it doesn't exist." The boy who had been silent the whole time while Lacus had been speaking spoke before exiting the room, too fast and sudden for Cagalli to even respond.

Cagalli sighed heavily, closing her eyes. And inside, her mind struggled on what to do, she could not deny the fact that what Lacus had offered her was attractive, the freedom that came with the release, yet on the other hand, she had a job to do, as much as she hated the responsibility, she knew that she could not give it up just like that. There were endless reasons why she should not leave Orb's leadership as her mind pointed out to her and the first was her responsibility as her father's daughter. Bringing Orb back to where it once was before the war was yet another reason why she could not just let go as the fate of the whole nation depended on her. Being selfish was simply something that she could not have the liberty to be doing.

" _For peace Cagalli, fight for peace." _

Cagalli's mouth quirked up into a bitter smile as she recalled that one particular scene where Lacus had been her friend, had been her comrade in a war that was too hard and too long. Both of them had been together all the while, trying to survive, her father as Orb's representative and her as his daughter while Lacus had been Plant's spokesperson. Lacus had escaped the danger there back in Plant before regrouping her resources and launching her plan from Orb. The Lacus Cagalli had known then was nothing like the girl she had just met just now, nor the girl whom had three years ago sat upon the seat of President of the Clyne company. That girl was ruthless, cold and calculating, following only Plant's orders and nobody else's, the kindness that was in her grey eyes three years ago during the war nowhere to be seen.

"_People change with time."_

Lacus had said that before Cagalli remembered, but, her mind told her that something had to be up, but she couldn't put a finger on it. Not yet, not at this moment, there were still too many unsolved riddles and too many questions than answers.

" A week huh." She mumbled under her breath, her thoughts jumbled up.

_ Orb falling. _

_ Lacus smiling surrounded by raging flames, " Thank you".. _

_ A brown haired boy bleeding to death with hands outstretched," Help me". _

And Cagalli felt herself falling, succumbing to the darkness that had tried to consume her before. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato roamed the streets aimlessly, his hands stuck in his pockets as he hunched against the cold biting wind that threatened to blow him off his feet as he tried to recall the way to Nicol's house but failing miserably to do so. Kira heaved a sigh as he was forced to admit that he was rather geographically challenged, he was good, no excellent in other aspects, soaking up knowledge like a sponge to water but throw him somewhere with no map and no guide, he was doomed, like how he is right now.

" Kuso! This is definitely not how I thought I would die." Kira said as he cursed under his breath as yet another blast of cold wind left him shivering and he reacted instinctively by pulling his jacket closer to his body, willing it to provide more warmth as he trudged down yet another street.

" Damn it, where the hell is your house!" He muttered, continuing his journey, squinting at the road signs, trying to figure out where the hell he was, all the while ignoring the signals of hunger that his stomach was sending to his brain. His cell phone beeped once then twice signaling that there was an incoming call prompting Kira to reach into his pocket, fumbling once, twice, before his fingers, numb from the cold, was able to grasp the cell phone successfully, and to pull it out of the confines his pocket in order to flip it open to answer.

" Yeah." Kira grunted into the phone, having no mood at all for niceties.

" Is that the way you talk to a person who saves your life every time?" The caller on the other end said, chuckling.

" Nicol!" Kira exclaimed, his features brightening instantly, " Where the hell is your house? I'm freezing in this weather and please tell me you are home."

Nicol chuckled again before answering, his gentle voice soothing, " Just turn left where you are right now and go up the stairs, why is it that you keep getting lost at this point I have no idea."

" Turn left, turn left. Why is it that you live in such a secluded place when you know that I have trouble even finding my way in my own apartment I have no idea." Kira kidded back as he followed Nicol's instructions and was greeted by the teenager himself at the front door.

" Because I like the privacy, after all, people don't take kindly to me." Nicol said matter a fact as he opened the door for Kira to come in. " Why are you here anyways? Don't tell me your supply of medicine had already finished? Or is it not working anymore?"

Nicol's expression was serious when he said the latter and Kira shook his head to dispel that thought immediately, knowing Nicol would certainly worry too much or assume that he was hiding something from him if he had even answered as much as a fraction later.

" No. Just that I had a few funny images that came with the pain." Kira said trying to sound flippant about the whole thing, trying his best to make light of the whole situation when he himself was uneasy, knowing extremely well how Nicol would react when he had heard the news, and his expectation was not wrong when he could hear Nicol suck in a deep breath, his eyes widening before looking at Kira in concern.

" What images. Come." Nicol beckoned for Kira to walk towards him and Kira knew better than to disobey his friend, he sat down onto the chair that Nicol had placed for him and closed his eyes, wanting everything to be over with. " Just relax." Nicol said, sitting opposite Kira before he too shut his eyes and concentrated on 'seeing' what was wrong with Kira.

Minutes passed and a green glow emanated from Nicol's hands as he cupped them together before pressing them over Kira's forehead and concentrated. Nicol's brow creased with the effort as Kira sat before him quietly and not long after the green glow from Nicol's fingers dissipated, he opened his eyes.

" Is this the first time?" He asked softly, knowing that speaking loudly now would surprise the other younger boy.

" Hmm." Kira nodded, " So what's wrong?"

Nicol did not bother to reply as he got up from his chair and walked towards the small kitchen opening his mouth only to ask if Kira had eaten. Already knowing the answer, he did not wait for Kira to speak and busied himself by opening a can of soup and his refrigerator to see whether there was anything he could use to prepare dinner for Kira.

" You should take care of yourself better." Nicol reprimanded softly, not looking back as he emptied the can of soup into the pot and stirred the contents before letting it simmer by itself. That done, he walked back towards where Kira was sitting and sat down in front of him once again, all the while as if lost in thought.

Kira noticed the change in his friend and a part of him panicked.

" You talk as if I'm about to die." He joked, but his eyes held no mirth as he gazed up earnestly at Nicol, willing him to tell him that everything would be all right and that whatever that had happened previously was only in his head, that it was just in his imagination running rampant.

Nicol Amalfi, nineteen years of age, appointed guardian of Kira since the death of the man who had been there for the both of them and a teenager who had the ability to heal sighed as he looked at Kira's face.

" You are definitely not about to die that I can guarantee, but I think it is time to tell you what happened twenty five years ago, what had brought both of us here and what we were destined to do, that would explain better the things that are happening to you."

" What do you mean? You are scaring me, Nicol." Kira said, his expression wary as his instincts told him that what he was about to hear was about to change his life, for better or worse, he still did not know but right now, all he wanted to do was to fill his stomach and be able to get down to finish up his assignments and lab reports. Things other than that could wait for all he cared, yet the expression on Nicol's face did not allow him to express his thoughts, his feelings and he resigned to the fact that he was to hear what he did not want to hear.

" Kira Yamato, you are the Ultimate Coordinator."

And, once again his premonition was absolutely right on.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yzak Joule flipped onto his side, unable to sleep, as he lay on the insect infested mattress that was his bed and cursed his life vehemently. Nineteen years old with no job, no money and not even a simple education, he hated his life, the place he lived in, and the only thing that was worth his time were his two companions. His harsh expression softened as he looked at the two sleeping faces that slept beside him, their features depicted clearly by the moonlight that streamed in through the window before it hardened again. He had mixed feelings about the both of them, they were his companions, people that he cared about, yet ironically, they were his chains, the ropes that were responsible to tie him down, that prevented him from reaching for things, for something that he knew that he was destined to be. He had to be more than what he is right now, he believed that there was more to his life than being a street urchin, he was not going to die an unknown nobody. He couldn't, his pride would not allow him to.

Yzak sighed, realising that his fists were clenched tightly before relaxing their grip, as he quietly slipped away from the sleeping bodies, needing some time alone and some fresh air, tip toeing softly across the small basement room that they occupied before easing the door open and climbing the stairs that was directly outside the door that led to the roof. Being somewhere high calmed his nerves, easing the tension that he was filled with constantly during the day. If forced, Yzak would reluctantly consider himself to be lucky, extremely lucky actually that he was able to escape detection for so long, he had escaped from that horrible place five years ago, where tubes and needles were stuck into his body and he was forced to do all those tests, those endless tests that confused him, irked him to no end, but he had been defenceless to do anything but comply. Those people had prodded and poked at him, feeding him with unknown substances that was forced down his throat if he ever refused to swallow, that life still gave him nightmares every time he closed his eyes, that was why he rarely was able to sleep peacefully at night and tonight was yet another one of those days where the memory was still fresh in his mind.

" Can't sleep?"

Yzak's head whipped backward surprised that he was not alone." What are you doing up here? Weren't you asleep just now?"

Dearkka Elsman grinned before shrugging, " You were as loud as an elephant."

" I was not." Yzak snarled, fists clenching and unclenching once again.

" Just joking, you should lighten up a bit." Dearkka said while he sat down beside Yzak, his eyes straying above the rooftops and beyond that. " So why are you not asleep?" He asked again.

" None of your business." Yzak snapped, wanting very much to stand up and walk away but a part of him did not want to and he curbed the feeling of running away, away from this yellow sun and as much as he hated to admit it, he enjoyed the other boy's presence. He could not deny that his presence did indeed comfort him, made him feel safe, as absurd as it sounds. Being with Dearkka enabled him to forget his past and to focus on the present, it was the second thing other than being on a high place that calmed him.

" Having nightmares again?" Dearkka asked quietly, his eyes not once looking at the silver haired teenager beside him, knowing that confronting him head on would only injure his overwhelming pride and make him run away but at this point, he had to risk it. The black eye circles that were under his eyes, made more evident by Yzak's pale skin was saying much more than Yzak would ever tell anybody.

" What!" Yzak spluttered, surprised that the blonde haired boy noticed that much. He had underestimated Dearkka's power of observation.

" Miri told me about it, she did not want to talk to you, knowing that you had not much patience for girls, so she insisted that I confront you. So shoot, what's happening in that brain of yours?"

" Miri?" Yzak said unbelievingly. " She knew too?"

" Is that so surprising? You would wake up even the dead with that groaning and whimpering of yours."

" I do not…"

" Yes you do, is it so hard to admit that you are not invisible?"

Yzak turned his head away, refusing to acknowledge Dearkka's last question, knowing full well that he knew that he was not invisible, that it was just his pride which refused to let him admit it and get help. What could he say about his nightmares without bringing up his past that he wanted to keep hidden? That he had been a freak that was born out of a test tube? A person who had been able to control water, to make it attack a person? He had killed once before, not out of his own will, circumstances had not allowed him to go against them, yet remorse had filled him and that had prompted him to escape that hell. What would telling another person about his past help? It would definitely not help ease the pain that had already been deeply imbedded into him nor help ease the guilt that was gnawing at his soul. Telling another person would not let it go away, what had happened had already happened, there was no point in bringing it up once again, yet he was grateful that there were people who still cared about him. A warm fuzzy feeling filled Yzak's heart as he realised that point and both boys sat silently like they did once five years ago under that bridge, providing each other with support until one of them got up.

Yzak brushed his jeans and started back towards the door but Dearkka's voice halted him and he could feel tears gather in his eyes as his brain processed what Dearkka just said.

" You are not alone, if you want to fly, we'll fly together."

_Thank you_. Yzak whispered in his heart as a response but in reality he merely nodded to show that he heard before his footsteps resounded loudly on the metal steps that led from the roof top to the basement. Dearkka smiled to himself understanding what Yzak left unspoken, before he too got up and walked away from the cold night.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

_Find him._

_He holds the key._

_To be free._

Athrun Zala awoke with barely a gasp, head snapping up from the position that he was in , before regaining his composure within a fraction of a second, yet those who were perceptive enough could still see that his eyes were wild and his shirt was damp, soaked thoroughly by his sweat.

It was that voice again, that cursed voice that was barely above a whisper that had haunted his dreams every night, he had no inkling as to who it was nor what he or she meant by repeating those three sentences over and over again. He had tried to see through the darkness, tried to figure out who had spoken but all he could see in his dream was that silhouette of a slim figure, he could not even tell if that person was male or female. Athrun combed his blue black hair back and got up impatiently onto his feet, cursing himself for falling asleep at a time like this, he had work to do, he had things to research and plan before he was able to retrieve back his 'brothers'. Patrick Zala, his so called father had implied that much, he was not ready, he was not yet fully equipped to go against the two of them.

" I will be ready." Athrun said under his breath as he once again turned on his laptop and typed furiously on the keyboard, pounding away his frustrations, venting it on the keypads as his eyes concentrated on the screen and the information as he scrolled down page after page of words. He had to figure out a plan, an offer that both of them could not resist, how could he go up to them and say you are my brothers, you are supposed to aid me to conquer the world and to prove that my father, our father is the best among the best. Patrick Zala was right, they would laugh him off and beat the crap out of him, he knew that he was able to go up against the two of them if needed to, especially when he had that one advantage he knew that both of them did not, but he did not want to face that trouble, he did not want to get his hands dirty, but most importantly, he knew that Patrick would be extremely unhappy if he damaged either one of them.

" _Would you be jealous if I treated one of them better than you?" _

" _No."_

" _Good boy, but don't worry, they can never take your place."_

Athrun shook his head to clear those thoughts and focused his attention on the task on hand, he had to do what he had to do to achieve what his father wanted, that much was obvious. And, maybe when he had he could be free, free from Patrick and his ambition, free so that he could embark on his own journey to find out why he had those dreams. Personally, he had no idea why he was feeling this way, had no idea when the urge to be free had been implanted into his consciousness, but he knew for a fact that he would never be able to tell Patrick how he felt, not now, not ever.

" It can wait." He whispered, " Yes it can wait." He repeated once again with conviction and started his furious typing once again with renewed zeal.

* * *

Author's note :Hope all of you enjoyed the update.Feel free to comment and criticise if need be, but please give the whole story a chance, ne?  



	3. Revelations

Name: Kira Yamato

Age: 18 years

Status: Student / Ultimate Coordinator

Ability: Unknown

Name: Cagalli Yula Athha

Age: 18 years

Status: Representative of Orb

Ability : Unknown

Name : Nicol Amalfi

Age : 19 years

Status: Kira's guardian

Ability: Healer

Name: Dearkka Elsman

Age : 19 years

Status: Orphan

Ability: Unknown

Name: Yzak Joule

Age: 19 years

Status: Orphan

Ability: Controller of water

Name: Athrun Zala

Age: 18 years

Status: Ultimate Coordinator

Ability: Unknown

Name: Miriallia Haww

Age: 18 years

Status: Orphan

Ability: None

………

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter One : The Unfolding Story_

**_My father was a fool… People change with time_**

" _**Kira Yamato, you are the Ultimate Coordinator."**_

" _**You are not alone, if you want to fly, we'll fly together."**_

_**I will be ready.**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Two

Revelations

" Kira Yamato, you are the Ultimate Coordinator."

Kira sat there shell shocked, unable to comprehend what his ears had just heard, as Nicol watched him silently as he assembled his thoughts together, thinking of a better way to break the news to the younger boy or in fact where to start to make him understand the seriousness of the whole situation. His powers were beginning to awaken that much Nicol had known long before - when he had learnt about the pain that Kira had been experiencing. He knew that it had to be, must be one of the symptoms and now when images had come into the picture, that must mean something, what he still had no idea, but it was definitely better to be on their guard, just in case. Meng Sensei's diary had mentioned certain symptoms, at that particular time when he had entered that entry into his diary, it had been merely speculation, but right now, it was an actual fact that Nicol had no idea how to solve.

" What..what do you mean? I've never heard of that phrase, is it some way of taunting me that you have just recently figured out? Maybe you should just say the Ultimate Uncoordinated. I'm after all definitely not very coordinated in that sense…" blabbered Kira, standing up from the chair he had been sitting on when Nicol had tried to "see" what was wrong with him. He walked further into the living room, trying to distance himself from Nicol and forcing himself to joke and laugh about what he had just heard, but everything that came out was uneasy, unnatural even to his ears and he shut up.

" I'm sorry I have to break this to you, I was actually hoping that what Meng sensei said would never come true." Nicol said sadly, his eyes reflected a sombreness that Kira had never seen before. He had followed Kira, nearing him enough to allow Kira to see the sincerity of his statements. The situation must be really bad for Nicol to look and sound like this.

" Meng sensei? I'm sorry, Nicol. He does indeed sound familiar, but for the life of me, I have no idea who he is and as much as I hate to do this to you, but may I have dinner first before you tell me what's happening? Or maybe you could pay off my debts to the college and allow me to graduate before my life becomes somebody else's life?" Kira tried hopefully, regretting it instantly and wondering why he was talking nonsense at the same time, but what was done could not be retracted.

Nicol's sombre expression broke at Kira's words, " I think that dinner would be possible but the rest, I think would be definitely put on hold…well depending on the situation at hand I guess."

" That certainly does not sound at all reassuring and you are scaring the hell out of me, which I definitely, absolutely do not appreciate. But, I shall take whatever kindness that you would give me right about now. Thank you." Kira said before flopping onto the couch that was thankfully right behind him. He had no idea how long his legs could cope with his weight.

Nicol Amalfi smiled at the brown haired boy theatrics and chuckled, knowing how melodramatic he sounded just now as he went to check on Kira's dinner. The kitchen was warm and the smells that floated from it into the living room was heavenly to a ravenous person.

" You really do know how to cook, that smells incredible." Kira praised, licking his lips in anticipation as he eyed the pot hungrily from the couch.

" You should tell that to the soup company who made this. They are the ones who are responsible for what you are about to eat right now."

" Right, right, and who would that be?"

" The Clyne company."

" Oh."

" Here eat up." Nicol said as he placed the bowl of soup in front of the salivating Kira who got up immediately from the couch, smiling gently as he did so.

" Itadakimasu!" Kira said gleefully before he started eating, wolfing down everything in the bowl as Nicol watched by the side, highly amused.

Yet, his smile slowly disappeared and his eyes saddened as he watched Kira's movements, noting his too pale skin and far too thin frame, it was not through lack of effort from him in trying to convince Kira to live with him. He had been nagging Kira for months now, since the day Kira had phoned him, gasping and moaning, talking incoherently from the pain that was practically eating him alive, to move in with him enabling Nicol to take care of him better but Kira had refused, giving reasons after reasons about how far his college was if he stayed with Nicol, how he liked his own privacy and so on so forth.

However, no matter how many reasons that Kira gave, no matter how much he tried to hide it, Nicol had realized long ago and knew perfectly clear that it was because Kira did not want him to worry about his "episodes" as he called it.

Those "episodes" which he had seen only once was enough for him to know how much Kira was suffering alone. That one day when Kira had called he had rushed over to his apartment and found Kira clawing at himself drawing blood, all the while writhing on the floor, as he curled and uncurled just to find a position that could at least make him feel better if it could not make the pain go away. Kira's drool and the cold sweat that erupted from his body mingling together, creating a stench of fear and helplessness that made Nicol's nose wrinkle in distaste. Those "episodes" were scaring Kira and yet he still did not want others to worry more about him, he was too independent and thoughtful of others in that way, something that was beneficial to others but never once the same for him. As exasperated as he was with Kira's attitude, he was undeniably proud of him too. Without a parent's guidance and with only Nicol as family, Kira had turned out all right and for that Nicol was grateful or he would not be able to face Meng sensei once he meets him on that other side, wherever that was.

" Nicol?"

" Hmm?"

" I guess you can tell me now."

Nicol looked at Kira's pale face and sighed, his heart going out to this boy who had so much potential in him and yet was about to be dragged into something that could mean an unclear dangerous future. He closed his eyes to recollect his thoughts and eventually when he reopened them, there was a determination in them which scared Kira, it was not as if he had not seen this look before, but at this particular moment, Kira felt as if the world that he had known, lived in for the past eighteen years was threatening to crumble around him and disintegrate into millions of pieces that could not be pieced back even if he tried. He kept his feelings to himself as he knew that no matter what he said now was to be ignored, and he accepted his fate however reluctant he was.

" Everything started forty five years ago when two scientists had a dream and because of that dream they became enemies, one to prove that he was the best and the other to save him. Their names were Patrick Zala and Meng."

" Patrick tried to kill Meng but he failed that day twenty five years ago. Maybe he aimed to miss, maybe he really did not realise that Meng was still alive, maybe… " Nicol trailed off, looking into the distance at something that Kira could not see before snapping back into the present and continued from where he had stopped, "But we would never know for sure about what really happened. Meng was the man who created you and I, while Patrick Zala, well, Meng knew without a doubt that he had been successful but he had no idea how many he created and who they were."

" Hold it, hold it, what do you mean created?" Kira asked, his voice trembling. He had to be wrong, he was an orphan, without parents yes, but to be created by human, using machines, through chemicals, that was absurd, unnatural, not to mention it defied all the rules of the world . He was a monster.

" Just like it sounds, Meng created us. There were three of us, you, I and another girl. Both you and her are twins, created from the same embryo. I was the first, the prototype that paved the way for the both of you. Meng had wanted one that was perfect, everything on you had to be superior, he succeeded only partially when he created me and he worked even harder, like a man possessed to improve. He knew that time was running out."

" He succeeded one year later when you were born, your twin sister is like me, we were just partially successful as our growth was affected slightly by the environments, we had to be born naturally, we would have died if it weren't for Meng sensei. He nearly gave up when he found out but he was incredibly relieved when you showed the potential of being 'the one'. You were able to survive the harsh conditions that we could not."

" Once he was certain about that fact and knowing that he could not afford to take care of three children, nor was he capable of taking care of a girl, he allowed her to be adopted by a close friend of his who had promised to keep her identity a secret. The girl was brought away soon after and that left you and I. Meng was thirty one at that time and even though he did in fact create us, he was the father that none of us had. You probably don't have much of a memory of him, actually you probably don't remember him at all as he had erased you memories and implanted new ones in order for you to live a normal life. He did not want you to remember those days when he had to do what he had to do in order to make sure that he had indeed created an Ultimate Coordinator, he wanted all of us to survive and live on even after he died. That was the only thing that he was able to do for us after everything that he had done."

"He was a good man, a kind one, and he felt guilty for exploiting us. The reason why he created us was in order to save his friend and for that I could not bring myself to blame him for the circumstances that we were born into. He did not deny the fact that he had been selfish, that he knew when we realised the truth we would probably hate him, but he went ahead to do it, just because he owed that friend of his. He did not want his friend to regret one day about the things he had done."

" Wait! How do you know all this? Why do you remember? Why weren't your memories erased?" Kira asked as he struggled to keep his temper in check, realising that by blowing up right now was pointless, a waste of time and energy.

" Because there was only enough serum for one person to forget and I did not want to forget the man who had brought me to life."

" Where is he now?" Kira hissed, his head pounding with the information that he had just received.

Nicol paused for a moment as he remembered Meng's tired face and sad eyes before answering Kira's question sadly, " He's dead. He died during the war three years ago, a war that happened because of his experiments, of his work. Coordinators and Naturals could not tolerate each other, one had a superior complex the other felt inferior. But, before he died, he managed to inject that serum into you just for you to live a normal life. He made me promise that I would take care of you and that to read his diary for further information, for the details he was not able to tell me."

Kira could not believe his ears and he spat out the next sentence through gritted teeth, " So all that I know is a lie? That meeting you in an orphanage was just a cover up? That we had been childhood friends a convenient lie so that I could live a normal life!"

" Yes." Nicol replied calmly.

" Kuso! Do you know how used that makes me feel?"

" Yes." Nicol replied equally as calm.

" Dammit, how do you expect me to react to this? And that does not explain why I'm having those " episodes" and the images."

"The only explanation about the episodes that you had was from Meng sensei's diary. It has been stated in it that your body would fight against the changes, trying to prevent it from happening. Those "episodes" of yours are a sign that yours would be presenting itself soon, but unfortunately there was nothing mentioned about images. I would conclude it as just another side effect."

" Presenting itself? Side effect? You make it sound as if it were a gift." Kira exclaimed, incredulously.

" It is how you make it to be, if you could save lives with your powers, what would you think it would be? A curse?"

Kira's eyes nearly bugged out by Nicol's response and he could not refuse the temptation to ask Nicol, " How can you be so calm?"

" What big deal is there? What had happened had happened, there is absolutely nothing that I can do to change the past, I have been mad, I have been hurt, felt betrayed, but what else and how long do you think I can continue feeling that way? Nobody would care, the world would still turn, in the end it is still me who suffers so do I continue feeling that way until I die or do I accept that fact and move on? If I had not accepted it, would I be here helping you?"

" Kira, I'm telling you all these not because I'm forcing you to throw your life away, but because there is something that would involve us even if we don't want it to, we need to be prepared, if what Meng sensei said is about to happen, that Patrick did indeed create beings like us, we have to be on our toes. Are you about to sit and watch when you have the ability to stop whatever madness that Patrick had planned? I have made up my choice to take care of you, to guide you when you need it, and it's up to you to go whichever way. Meng sensei specifically told that to me to let you choose by yourself. He created us undeniably for his own purposes, but he understood that finally, it will be up to us, for us to choose. It is our life, he would do nothing to stop us."

" You made your choice to take care of me…now I'm your burden, is that it?" Kira shouted back feeling extremely hollow, his past life, his memories, everything had been a lie. " Is it so wrong for me to react this way? I'm human, no matter how I came to be, I have feelings and I feel like crap right now. I don't appreciate the way my body is telling me that there is something wrong with me, it freaking scares me…and Nicol, it hurts so much every time." The last few words were uttered through a sob as Kira broke down and cried as the sky outside Nicol's window that had been heavy with clouds that threatened rain broke and cried too.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Cagalli Yula Athha was floating. Where she did not know nor did she want to find out, things here seemed at a standstill and it seemed peaceful. She embraced that feeling, contented to leave her hectic other world behind. She did not want to wake up just yet, she knew that by thinking this way and doing so, she was probably trying to escape reality, to shy away from her responsibilities to herself, her country, she did not doubt that her father would be very disappointed in her, but, but, if waking up meant having to face Lacus, the council members, herself, she'd rather stay here. Here, where she could feel peace. Not forever, no, she was not that much of a coward, but maybe just for the moment, just for a little while more where she could relax and breathe.

" Do not hide, even if you do, the things that are there would not fade away, it would still be there. You are just wasting your time here." A voice that Cagalli did not recognize yet felt familiar with at the same time spoke up from the nothingness just as Cagalli was about to doze off. She froze at the sudden intrusion into her peace before reacting to it by looking around for that face to accompany that voice.

" I'm afraid that no matter how much you look you won't find me."

" Who are you, why are you here?" Cagalli asked. " You are trespassing in private property."

" Private property?" The voice repeated and Cagalli could hear the humour in it and she had to smile too. What in the world prompted her to say that?

" Who are you?" She asked once again, but this time there was not as much hostility in it as before.

" Does my name matter? I'm just a friend who would like to help, that's all that you need to know."

" Help? Help me in what? I really don't think you would be able to help me in anything right now."

" How about if I told you about why you keep feeling so horrible and sick, would you be interested to know?"

" What?" Cagalli managed to splutter, " How do you know about that?"

" I'm sorry I cannot explain more about how I know, I'm running out of time so just listen carefully to what I have to say. Cagalli Yula Athha, you are one of the three who would play a role in stopping a madman, you have powers and the way you are feeling at the moment is because your body is trying to reject the changes that it is about to go through, it'll get better soon, I promise you."

" What powers?"

" You have the ability to see the future, the images that you have seen before are things that could happen if you don't stop it."

_ Orb falling. _

_ Lacus smiling surrounded by raging flames, " Thank you".. _

_ A brown haired boy bleeding to death with hands outstretched," Help me". _

" No." Cagalli said horrified.

" Yes."

" What am I supposed to do? I can't go off running, what about Orb? What about Lacu's's offer, I can't just let everything go and what the hell was all those supposed to mean? I can't do this alone!" Exclaimed a panicking Cagalli, her body tensed.

" You are not alone, Cagalli, you have two more companions, search for them, they are not far away, they'll help you."

Suddenly, out of the blue, a name came to Cagalli and she uttered it aloud, " Meng. You are Meng aren't you. I know you from somewhere, but I cannot recall where."

" Do not worry about the future Cagalli, take one step at a time, now be brave and open your eyes, I'll always be watching over all of you." Meng said before his voice faded away, leaving Cagalli with tears glimmering in her eyes. She did not know how that name came to her, but instinctively, she knew that he meant no harm, that he was somehow, as cliché as it sounds, a guardian angel that would watch over the three of them, whoever the other two were.

" I guess there really is not time to rest for a politician." She said, her lips curled up in a smile, " I do really hate this job."

And back in reality, Cagalli struggled to open her heavy eyelids and when they did comply she blinked to find herself staring up at her secretary's worried face.

" Oh thank goodness!" Her secretary said with her hands placed above her heart. " You really gave us a scare Representative when we found you there unconscious…"

Cagalli ignored her secretary's constant blabbering and started slightly when she remembered the conversation that she had while she was unconscious and she looked about her room wildly, trying to find the person who had spoke to her just awhile ago in her dreams.

" What are you searching for?" Her secretary asked surprised, noticing Cagalli's eye movements.

" Meng. Was.." Cagalli tried but found to her annoyance that her throat seemed to be constrict onto itself from lack of water and it was hard to talk through that scratchiness and dryness. " Water." She managed to croak out the second time and her secretary responded immediately before handing her a mug which Cagalli gulped down gratefully.

" What was it that Representative Athha wanted to ask?"

" Hinata, was there anybody else who was in the room just now?"

Her secretary Hinata Yui cocked her head to one side, deep in thought as she tried to remember who had been there but came up with no one, " No, I'm afraid that there was only Doctor James, your family doctor and me, there was no one else."

" Who brought me here?" Cagalli had noticed earlier that she was no longer in the boardroom, instead someone had moved her from that place to her own private quarters in the Orb administration building while she was out of it.

" Your bodyguard Representative Athha, would you like to talk to him?"

Cagalli could feel the disappointment fill her when she heard Hinata's answer and she shook her head to answer Hinata's question, there was no need to question others about Meng's presence, her intuition told her that she would not be able to find him.

" Thank you Hinata, but I would like to rest for a while at the moment." Cagalli said, as she bowed her head slightly, letting her bangs cover her face partially, she did not want others to know what she was feeling right now.

" Are you sure you would be all right?"

" Yes, reschedule everything that I have for today and slot all those meetings for tomorrow. Remember to inform the other council members about the meeting that had been put off today and…. Hinata?"

" Yes, Representative Athha?"

" Please do not tell others about this blackout episode of mine, I would rather they not worry themselves stupid for my sake."

" Do not worry about that Representative, I know what to do."

" Thank you." Cagalli said as the door of her private quarters slid open and shut with a whoosh leaving her alone with only her own thoughts for company. After a moment, she pushed back the bedcovers and got out of her bed, padding softly across the plush carpet towards the only window there was in her room.

It was raining outside she noticed as she reached out to undo the clasp in order to slide the window open, ignoring the draft that came in making her shiver. Instead, she took in an appreciating deep breath, while letting it out in a deep sigh as she stared out into the crying night looking for something even she did not know.

" Find my companions huh." She mumbled to herself as her eyes roamed the dark, " Maybe I should. Maybe I would."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Yzak Joule yawned widely as he watched Dearkka flip onto his side and continued snoring, his sleep peaceful without any nightmares. They had been down here for about an hour now since that small confrontation on the rooftop, and while Dearkka had fallen asleep almost immediately once his head touched the pillow, Yzak still could not get himself to close his eyes.

_Needles._

_Pain._

Yzak shook his head furiously to clear those depressing memories out of his head as he sat with one leg propped up on the window sill and stared out into the dark night watching the world. He remembered the man who had put him through that much pain, the man who had laughed and ignored Yzak's pleas for mercy and when Yzak had cried out for him to stop those experiments, to at least let him rest, he had bent that low, yet, that man had merely brushed it off and continued with even more experiments that tore at him, broke him and remade him into what he is right now. A freak.

" Patrick Zala" Yzak hissed, his eyes blazing with a fury that made his ice blue eyes almost silver, as his fists clenched tightly together, nails biting into his palm deep enough to draw blood. The name came easily to him, he would never ever forget that man's face or name, he would get his revenge, he had vowed that day he broke free of that prison. Yzak could feel the consequences of his anger as the pressure in the air changed, the content seemingly more compact, more solid, and suddenly without warning, Miriallia and Dearkka started choking and coughing, their eyes opening in surprise and terror as their air supply was cut off all of the sudden, their hands flailing and grabbing at their throat to try to pry off whatever it was that was trying to murder them in their sleep.

Yzak's eyes widened in horror at the scene in front of him and he tried to curb his anger immediately, forcefully pushing it away back into the recesses of his mind, shutting it into a box before rushing to their sides to check their conditions, praying hard in his heart that he had not done any damage to the only family that he had.

" Miri! Dearkka! Are you guys all right!" He asked, his eyes filled with terror at what he could just have done, what he had nearly did because he had lost control. He breathed a sigh of relief when he found that when he had relaxed enough they had stopped choking and were able to breathe more normally, he concluded that the both of them were okay and he turned his head aside, not able to meet their questioning eyes and got up as abruptly as he had squatted down before them in concern. The guilt was eating away at him, slowly consuming him as he tried hard to block the memories that assaulted him without mercy.

" Yzak?" Miri asked, her voice still hoarse from whatever that had happened earlier but Yzak could clearly hear the concern and the questions that she left unasked.

" Nothing happened. Go back to sleep." Yzak said roughly while he gathered up his jacket that was on a chair and walking out without a backward glance into the dark night. He had to escape, he could not afford to stay with them anymore, it was too dangerous, he did not want any more deaths on his hands, he could never face himself if he ever did step over the boundaries and accidentally killed one of them. It was for the best if he left now he tried telling himself over and over again, repeating it in his brain but nothing he said could take away the pain that came from the decision. He blinked back the tears that formed and hardened himself emotionally, tears were for the weak and he was definitely not weak.

" Yzak!" He could hear Dearkka call out from behind and he quickened his pace cursing Dearkka's persistence.

" Go away!" Yzak shouted as his walk turned into a jog, and then into a full fledge sprint. He could hear his harsh breathing and his pounding footsteps on the gravel in the silent night but yet nothing he did could throw Dearkka off his scent. Dearkka really did not know when to give up. " Kuso!" He cursed.

" Yzak!" Dearkka shouted, not caring about waking the neighbours or that whether they were creating a ruckus, all he cared about was the teenager that was fleeing in front of him and the image of his terror guilt filled eyes before he took off. It had hurt so bad when Dearkka saw him that way, he did not know what that meant, refused to think more about it, all he knew was that he could not let Yzak go without asking him to stay.

Yzak was so intent at running, of escaping Dearkka that he did not see, did not notice the huge rock that was in his way until it was too late, until he was face down on the road, palms and knees stinging with pain from the fall.

" Yzak! Are you all right!" Dearkka shouted when he finally did catch up with the fallen boy and when Yzak did not answer Dearkka opened his mouth to speak once again, yet nothing came out as his words stuck in his throat when he saw the expression on Yzak's face. It was of anguish and hopelessness, terror and an unspeakable sadness.

" Yzak…" He whispered before pulling the silver haired teenager into his arms and hugged him all his might. Nothing he could have said could comfort the trembling boy right now so he let his actions speak for themselves.

" Why did you have to come!" Yzak sobbed into Dearkka's body as the tears that he had tried to hold back burst like a dam. " Why can't you just let me go!"

" Not when you have not given us a reason. We are your family Yzak, we'll be with you all the way. Remember what I said earlier? You are not alone, if you want to fly, we'll fly together."

" You don't understand, I'm too dangerous to be with all of you. I could have killed you back there. I could have!" Yzak shouted hysterically as he struggled to rid himself of Dearkka.

" But you didn't, you controlled it."

" I'm a freak."

" You are not."

" Let me go."

" No."

" I said let me go!"

" And I said no!"

" Pl…"

Yzak did not get to finish his sentence, his eyes widening when he felt a pair of warm lips enveloping his own cold ones, tasting him, licking at him, tempting him. When Yzak did not respond, Dearkka tightened his arms, bringing him nearer and closer to his warmth and deepened the kiss, before letting go of the shocked Yzak and whispering a single word into his ears.

"Stay."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Athrun Zala looked impassively at the two teenagers down below from where he stood, hidden by the shadows, but he need not have worried about them noticing him while they were so caught up in each other. Both of them had stopped bickering and were now in each others arms, seeking comfort, companionship, neither of which Athrun had. He felt a tiniest twinge of jealousy but as soon as that registered, he squashed it immediately and focused at what had transpired beforehand.

Athrun had decided to check up on them on impulse and used his teleportation powers to get to where they had stayed and had witnessed everything from where Yzak had lost control till now and he was glad that he had followed his instincts. He would not have learnt about all these if he had stayed home and focused his energy on his laptop. He allowed himself a small smile of satisfaction before his attention was caught once more when Dearkka spoke and he focused his ears to listen.

" Let's go home." The blonde haired teenager said as he got up before offering his hand to help the other who nodded in response.

Dearkka Elsman and Yzak Joule, Athrun noted, his so called brothers and the two persons who would aide him in the future and his lips curled up into a predatory smile. He now knew what made them tick and what he could do to get them on his side. He could use, no manipulate their feelings for each other and the other human girl that they were with. Athrun knew that what he was about to do was wrong morally but there was nothing he would let go in order to achieve his own goals, Patrick had taught him that. Manipulation and control was the best two things on the road to power. He would use their concept of family to lure them into his cause without remorse. They were born to serve him so it does not matter what they thought or what they should feel. With that in mind, Athrun knew that his job for tonight was done and he disappeared into the night without a trace leaving only two words behind for the two unsuspecting boys depicting their future.

"No escape."

* * *

Author's note : I aplogize for the extreme late update, there was a technical glitch somewhere and I the not so techno geek was stranded hopelessly. But, thanks for all your patience. Do enjoy this chapter! Oh, Colony 5 is a figment of my imagination, there are some new characters that do not belong to Gundam but to me in order to plush up the story. Forgive the spelling and grammar mistakes.  



	4. Destiny Begins

Name: Kira Yamato

Age: 18 years

Status: Student / Ultimate Coordinator

Ability: Unknown

Name: Cagalli Yula Athha

Age: 18 years

Status: Representative of Orb

Ability : Seer

Name : Nicol Amalfi

Age : 19 years

Status: Kira's guardian

Ability: Healer

Name: Dearkka Elsman

Age : 19 years

Status: Orphan

Ability: Unknown

Name: Yzak Joule

Age: 19 years

Status: Orphan

Ability: Controller of water

Name: Athrun Zala

Age: 18 years

Status: Ultimate Coordinator

Ability: Teleportation

Name: Miriallia Haww

Age: 18 years

Status: Orphan

Ability: None

Name: Lacus Clyne

Age : 18 years

Status: President of Clyne Company

Ability: None

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Two : Revelations_

"_**I don't appreciate the way my body is telling me that there is something wrong with me, it freaking scares me…and Nicol, it hurts so much every time."**_

" _**Find my companions huh." She mumbled to herself as her eyes roamed the dark, " Maybe I should. Maybe I would."**_

_**Dearkka tightened his arms, bringing him nearer and closer to his warmth and deepened the kiss, before letting go of the shocked Yzak and whispering a single word into his ears.**_

"_**Stay."**_

**_Athrun disappears into the night leaving only two words behind for the two unsuspecting boys, " No escape."_**

Gundam Seed : Chapter Three

Destiny Begins

It was early the next morning when Nicol Amalfi walked into the room that Kira had fallen asleep in and stood beside the teenager, looking down at him. His features softened as he watched the teenager sleeping peacefully, untroubled by the problems that Nicol had presented to him due to the unfortunate circumstances. He heaved a silent sigh, reaching one slim hand to brush away the tousled brown bangs so that it would not get into Kira's eyes when he woke up. His mind was replaying the events that had happened yesterday and Nicol really wished that he could have left Kira alone. But, that was just merely wishful thinking, it would have been wrong if he had not told Kira the truth.

Yes it would have been better if he had kept his mouth shut but what if, what if there really was something that both of them could do to stop whatever Patrick had in plan? He knew that he would come to regret his decision later and would never be able to forgive himself if he caused Kira's or any innocents' death. After all what would happen if Patrick Zala knew there was yet another one more Ultimate Coordinator or if the whole world found out by accident about this boy who had been created successfully scientifically? It would be a miracle if Kira survived both those aspects without knowing why he was being chased after. Both him and Kira would be running for their lives forever especially with those fanatics out there who both either wanted the perfect tool for themselves or to rid the world of it. It was a death wish not to be involved, not to know. He could not afford that, telling Kira would prepare him for the worst and the worst he knew instinctively was coming.

He could feel Patrick Zala planning and making his move.

" If I could I would turn back the time to get rid the world of one Patrick Zala, but I was gifted with the powers to heal, not to manipulate time or to kill. I have blamed Meng sensei more than once about that fact, but I think Meng sensei knew me the best." Nicol said as a wry grin appeared on his gentle face.

But, as soon as it appeared, it disappeared when he continued, "What has been done cannot be changed, I hope you understand Kira. I'm sorry." Nicol said as he bent over Kira's sleeping form to pull the blankets up in order to keep him warm before walking out the door, leaving Kira to sleep in peace.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was not surprising that as the president of the Clyne Company, Lacus Clyne had her own luxury quarters that allowed her to live in whenever she wanted or needed and neither was it a surprise that she was there at the wee hours of the morning.

Her living quarters was spacious and elegantly furnished, befitting of a woman of her status, yet nothing in that room told anyone anything about her. A floor to ceiling bookcase filled with bounded hard cover books sat comfortably in their spaces, seemingly untouched in the right hand corner of the room. A small fire in the fireplace on her left threw both light and warmth into the room, yet none of this few things attracted Lacus's attention who was sitting in front of a large wooden oak table.

All these were definitely not surprising, what was surprising was that she had her head bowed as if in prayer but in reality her eyes were blinking furiously to prevent the tears that were threatening to fall as she looked at the picture she grasped in her hand.

She had been up since three this morning in order to get some work done before going into work and had come across a wooden box when she had been searching for yet one of the million of documents that she had to review before the start of a day in the company. She had been curious as to what it was and why it had been shoved deep into the recesses of her drawer with all the junk she had in there.

Lacus had reached in to pull at the wooden box, cursing silently when it caught, tugging at it gently but using a little force when it remained stubbornly stuck. Soon, her efforts paid off when it yielded, sliding out of it's resting place like the revealing of a lost treasure. She dusted away the dust bunnies that had accumulated on top of it and opened the wooden box revealing a wooden frame that was lying face down in the box surrounded with soft tissue paper. Lacus flipped it over gently and her eyes widened, filling with tears when the feeling of loss and pain hit her. Finally, did she realise what it was and why it was there, it had been after all by her hand that it was neglected after all.

The photo consisted of both her and her laughing father and had been taken by one of their close friends during her father's birthday. She had baked a cake for him that day, knowing how much he hated those that could be gotten from a store, claiming it tasted fake and was extremely high in calories. She had surprised him with it when he had came home tired and worn out from running the Clyne company he had founded and a meeting with the Plant's council members earlier in the day. His face had broken into a wide smile and he had picked her up by the waist before swinging her around and around until she begged for mercy. They had been so happy at that time and Lacus's mouth twitched at that memory.

Lacus marvelled at how fast time flew past when one did not notice, had it been that long since he passed away? No, she shook her head vehemently, her lips melded together, passed away should be used for people who went peacefully, whose life was not taken away forcefully, people who died because it was their time. Instead, she should say he was murdered, killed by that bastard whom her father had thought was his best friend. He had betrayed her father, throwing him into the mouth of lions who devoured him alive. Her father had sacrificed so much for Plant and what did they do? Gotten rid of him when they could, when they knew he did not agree with what they were thinking.

Lacus could feel the anger course through her veins, yet the helplessness of not being able to do anything was not far behind. She was not a person who sought revenge, her father had taught her that a long time ago, but now when she was ready to start over, ready to forget the past, the war, and to put everything that had happened behind her, that man who had brought her father's death had once again appeared in her life, threatening to disrupt it once again.

Ishida Toshiro. He appeared to the world as the perfect gentleman, a man who keeps his promises, a war hero. But, in reality, it was just the total opposite. He was a murderer, a ruthless man who was willing to sacrifice anyone and anything who got in his way. He was a member of the Plant council, a man who had the chance of sitting on the top but he had been defeated narrowly by the woman whom had been his protégé. No one knew why he had not been chosen as he had been the best candidate, not even the woman who had defeated him. Her win had came as a surprise and it was even more surprising that Ishida showed no enmity towards her. He had retreated peacefully, showing up at the council meetings, still giving it his all in rebuilding Plant, the destroyed colonies and getting it back into their former glory.

Yet, Lacus knew that was all on the surface, an act to fool all the foolish people who wanted to see what they wanted to see, while underneath the pretence he was biding his time, waiting to pounce when he had the chance, what his plan was she still had no idea, all she knew was she was a pawn on his chessboard. A pawn that was currently the president of the Clyne company and the wielder of Plant's military power and everything was because of him.

Three years ago, after the war, she had returned to Plant, returned to her birth place and he had came to her with a proposal that she could not refuse. How could she refuse when he had threatened Plant with yet another nuclear war or better still with yet another war between Naturals and Coordinators? He told her he had planted nuclear warheads everywhere on Plant, and could blow it up in a minute's notice if she failed to meet his demands, Lacus had scoffed at his threat, calling his bluff but he had indeed showed her what he could do with just one button.

That day, that one fine day, Plant had been thrown into chaos when one of their colonies blew up right in front of their eyes, leaving nothing except dust and more debris for space. However, by some trick of his, Ishida had been able to cover it up, had been able to convince the other council members that it was a faulty generator system that had sacrificed millions of lives and a loss of countless billions for Plant. How anybody could believe an explosion of that magnitude could be by a faulty generator system she had no idea but he had achieved his goal, she had no choice but to help him in whatever he wanted.

And what he wanted he got.

Ishida had been offered the position of head of military because of his experience in the war and his attribution to Plants by the Plants council but instead of accepting he had surprised everybody once more by refusing and suggesting that she, Lacus Clyne to take his place, to allow her to take care of that side of business with the reason that he trusted her and that she was the perfect candidate. Lacus could not deny his craftiness as she was known by everybody that she advocated peace, his point being that she would not misuse the responsibility given to her. Lacus knew that she was no much in command as the next person as he still pulled the strings; he just needed her to be there so that no suspicions would be placed on him if anything smelled fishy.

And many a thing smells fishy. The wanting of Orb, the activation of the weapons research department that was clocking many after hours, everything spelt something big that was about to happen. Lacus had heard rumours that there was a plan of trying to regain back Earth, as yet another war. But there was no proof, who would believe her when she told them those few facts combined with just another bunch of rumours? Who would want to believe that yet another war was upon them? There was no way they would want to be dragged back into the pain of three years ago.

She had come to see the politician's real faces long time ago, they were a cowardly bunch who preach and talk big, none of them wanting to get their hands dirty, trying to spread out the responsibility around so that nothing could be pinned on them when the shit hits the fan. There was nothing that she could trust about them, they could be sincere the next and stab you in the back as soon as you let your guard down. A person does not get far through sincerity, they cannot climb those political ranks by being true to themselves, they get far by throwing their enemies to the lions, of getting rid of them. Her father had been one of their victims. One of the thorns that they had to be rid of.

Orb has nowhere to run once Ishida had set his eyes on it. Lacus appreciated the trust and faith that Cagalli had in her, yet she had not been lying when she told Cagalli that people change with time. She was no longer the girl who was able to speak her mind, no longer was the person who could afford to fight for what she thought right, not when there was so much at stake. With a press of yet another button, or a phone call he could blow up the entire Plants and yet still feel no remorse on doing so.

She was a coward she knew, after all that she had been through to achieve peace, she could not afford to see those innocents who had lost so much yet struggled so valiantly still to live to suffer any longer, her conscience did not allow her to. Her duty right now was to prevent more tragedy to befall them, Ishida was planning something but as long as he was on the Coordinators side, she knew that the people in Plants would be safe for now.

Her current reverie was broken by the soft knocking on her door prompting Lacus to wipe away the telling tears that was still in her eyes. She disallowed herself to show weakness in front of others, yet another lesson she had learnt from both her father and the war. There were people who leaned on her for support and for that, she could not afford for them to know that she was hurting too. She was not human in their eyes, she was their God. And as their God, she had to be strong.

" Come in." She called, her musical voice floating through the room and filtered into the ears of the boy who was standing outside her door.

" I'm sorry Miss Lacus, but the meeting starts in about five minutes." Her current aide, Yukito, a tall, slim boy of eighteen with red hair and green eyes informed her in his usual soft gentle voice, standing unobtrusively at the side of the door.

" Thank you. " Lacus said with a smile, her composure was now back in place, no more of the damsel in distress that had been crying so helplessly before. She was now to the world the cool, calm, collected president of the Clyne Company her father had owned before he died. She felt sorry for Cagalli but she could do nothing except play her role and observe by the sidelines. Until she found out more and was able to do more, she cannot help her friend at the moment, she was caught in her own web of lies and deceit.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato opened his eyes sleepily before groaning and without second thought, raising his hands in order to cover them, preventing it from hurting from the bright sunlight that was streaming in through the open window right beside his bed. He had been sleeping facing the window and somebody had opened the curtains, allowing the annoying light to come in, disturbing his sleep. He flipped onto his back to find himself gazing up to an extremely clean and bright white ceiling which his mind registered before storing it.

_What a nice ceiling I have._

_So clean and white without those disgusting green things. No holes either._

Yet, as he appreciated the condition of his ceiling, a voice nagged at the back of his brain trying to tell him something that for the current moment, due to the fact that he was not fully awake and his brain was still unable to function properly, he was unable to grasp.

_Do I have a white ceiling?_

_And a window? _

Just as his eyes were about to close and he started to doze off again, a sudden realisation struck him and he woke up instantly, pushing himself away from the bed and the blanket that covered him. This was definitely not his room, where was he? His mind started to panic while his senses were on full alert, as his eyes gazed warily around his surroundings before the memories from yesterday's conversation came flooding back and he relaxed perceptibly, flopping back onto Nicol's bed, his eyes staring blankly at the ceiling.

" Baka." He mumbled under his breath, scolding none other than himself for thinking nonsense, but for that one particular moment after he woke up, he had thought that he had been kidnapped, or that whatever Nicol had said had come true so soon. Thank goodness it was just his imagination running wild, he was as safe as ever in Nicol's spare bedroom. Kira continued staring at the white ceiling above him when Nicol's words rang through his head prompting Kira's expression to darken.

_Are you about to sit and watch when you have the ability to stop whatever madness that Patrick had planned?_

Kira closed his eyes struggling inwardly, it was his heart against his brain, his logic against his compassion. What should he do? What should he say? Participate? Run? Nicol could be wrong, maybe Patrick Zala failed, maybe he died like Meng, maybe…maybe he just was a coward, wanting to stick to his life now with only college to worry about currently.

College.

" Shit!" He said, leaping out of Nicol's warm and comfortable bed, nearly tripping over the blanket that Nicol had placed around him earlier that morning and rushing out into the living room, hoping that Nicol would be there and he could at least be kind hearted enough to send Kira back to his apartment, he had classes today and assignments and lab reports to hand in.

_Just allow him a little more time to be normal._

" Nicol!" He shouted, " Nicol!"

" Hmm?"

" I need to use your computer and I hope that you still have your car with you. Great, just great, I'm about to flunk this semester's subjects." Kira said, pacing Nicol's living room like a caged panther.

" Calm down, I've already called up the college and arranged for you to be absent for the next few days. They have allowed it."

" You what! Urm, I really would like to thank you but that would mean I would be missing more classes and that I would have more work? What about my assignments? Lab reports? I can't put it off, I have credits to finish.."

Kira's mind was working on overload and so did not notice that the things in Nicol's apartment were moving slightly, a few centimetres at a time, not enough to present much distraction to attract the younger boy's mind which was elsewhere. But, what Kira did not notice Nicol did and his eyes widened.

_He can control matter._

" Calm down, Kira. You can use my laptop and my car, just as long as you don't crash it." Nicol said with a smile, trying to calm the agitated boy before he ruined anything and turning back in order to hide the expression on his face.

" Thanks a lot, there is still hope to finish up all those today…I think." Kira said, immediately settling down to get his things done in front of Nicol's laptop that was in the living room, forgetting about his frustrations from earlier while the things in Nicol's apartment responded to Kira's emotions and miraculously stopped moving as Nicol noticed from the corner of his eyes.

" So you are able to control matter huh. Just as Meng sensei had hoped for. The ultimate being should be able to control all others, living or dead. He did get his wish after all." Nicol muttered under his breath as he stared unseeingly into space, his mind whirling at the newly found fact.

" Did you say something?" Kira asked without looking up from the screen, his fingers flying across the keyboard in relatively ease, typing in commands to activate the programmes that he needed in order to finish up what he has left undone.

" No." Nicol replied, turning to look at the busy brown haired boy that he had vowed to protect. He would keep his thoughts to himself for now, Kira had other things that was occupying his mind right now, let him live in his world a little longer, let him enjoy his freedom, his normality while he could. Nicol could feel that time was running out for the both of them, but at the current moment, there was nothing that they could do, they were like the black players on the chessboard, only able to make their move when the white has made theirs.

_Yes, we'll stay low now, there is nothing that we can do at this moment. Nothing. Nothing._

Yet, even if Nicol had made up his mind, repeating the sentence over and over again in his heart, he could not fight the unease that he harboured against the whole situation. His main concern now was that whether he had made a right decision, hoping that what he decided now would not come back and haunt him later in life. Their situation now resembled men sitting on a time bomb not knowing when it would explode, praying hard all the while that it would not. But, if it did, he hoped that they would be able to survive it without too much damage.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yzak Joule awoke to find himself in the arms of a certain boy, snuggling close to obtain the warmth that chased away the cold that he had always been feeling at night. The loneliness that he had felt just yesterday when he had nearly killed his friends, his closest thing to family seemed so far away when he was in Dearkka's arms.

His lips quirked up in an ironic smile, he had never thought that he would end up in this blonde haired boy's arms because he was not only to Yzak a friend, but somebody that kept Yzak irritated because of his constant carefree ways. Yet, he did not mind, not one bit. He had a fitful night of sleep yesterday and it was all partly thanks to this person with unruly blonde hair. It felt right being able to be here, right now at this moment, in this instant.

Yzak reached out his free hand to brush the locks that were all mussed up right now, enjoying the feel of the other boy's hair, as his other hand remained entwined with one of Dearkka's.

_Hold me, don't let me go._

Yzak blushed a slight pink when he remembered what he said yesterday night as he lay beside Dearkka. Dearkka had just smiled, not probing Yzak for any reasons and had linked his large palm with Yzak's wordlessly. His calloused hand, rough from the life that he had to go through on the streets, providing the comfort Yzak had craved while he hugged Yzak tight towards his body.

Yzak looked at Dearkka Elsman's sleeping face and a smile, seldom seen on Yzak's cold arrogant face quirked up, he had not expected Dearkka to hold on even while he was asleep and he had not expected himself to fall asleep to the steady rhythm of Dearkka's beating heart.

" What you looking at?" Dearkka's sleepy voice said amused while Yzak looked away embarrassed at being caught. He had been so absorbed in his own thoughts that he had failed to notice the violet orbs looking at him.

" Nothing."

" You are beautiful." Dearkka said, his voice now husky as he leant down to peck Yzak's on the lips.

" Hmmph. Sex maniac." Yzak replied after the small kiss but his eyes betrayed what he really thought and that made Dearkka smile which of course irked the hot tempered Yzak who thought Dearkka was laughing at him.

" What the…" Dearkka spluttered as water entered his nostrils and mouth out of the blue.

" That teaches you to laugh at me." Yzak said as he got up from where he was sitting before stalking out the door in search for food and Miriallia, the romantic moment ruined.

" Yzak, you bastard." Dearkka shouted after him in anger but the next minute, a comforted smile appeared on his face, he had noticed the mischief and carefree way Yzak had around him, it was a first to see him so comfortable with himself.

_Kami – sama, thank you for giving him that._

But, unfortunately for him, he was not as lucky. Dearkka sighed as he felt the cold water drip down his shirt and onto his body, making him shiver. He got up from the mattress that he was currently laying on and walked over to his cupboard to retrieve his towel and another shirt to change. Dearkka's face fell when he realised yet another important point in this current new turn, he was about to have a huge disadvantage when he was with Yzak who could control water and use it at his free will. Dearkka groaned as he looked at his bare cupboard which contained a few T – shirts and two towels.

_I think I'm about to need more of those two items now. _

He did not know how true it was.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Patrick Zala slammed his cell phone shut and threw it against the wall in a rage, not bothering to conceal his anger in front of Athrun.

" Damn _him_! Damn _him_ to hell!" Patrick Zala cursed as he paced the small room furiously, hands clenched at his sides, his eyes bloodshot from lack of sleep and too much work.

" How could _he_ do this! Now of all times, what the hell is _he_ thinking? I can't believe this, he's pulling the resources for me to build that device, how could he do that when he knows that it is that important!" He continued mumbling, things that Athrun had no idea what was all about. Patrick was a secretive man, paranoid that others would steal his ideas, his work.

" You! It's all your fault for not being to come up with a plan in time, for being able to get those failed experiments. It's your fault that I'm being called a failure, that I cannot prove that my soliders are perfect. _He's_ saying that I was not able to get _his _tools ready. _His _tools. Can you believe that? I built you, you are no one's except mine."

" It's your fault that I have to continue running like a fugitive, it's your fault that I'm not living in a proper house and instead, like a rat in the sewers! Look at this place! Does it befit a man of my status to be here!" Patrick turned upon Athrun who was kneeling on the cement floor and started ranting and raving as he waved his hands around the dilapidated house that they were currently living in at one of the colonies of Plants.

" I'm sorry, father." Athrun replied, his voice monotonous, head bowed. He was used to Patrick's absurd accusations, he had used to take those angered shouts to heart in the past, thinking that he was indeed the failure that Patrick had claimed him to be. But, Athrun soon realized that it was no more his fault than anybody's for the choices that Patrick had made. But, still he tolerated his creator's moods, he had too.

Patrick's voice went up an octave, " You are sorry. What's the use of being sorry! I want results! I want _him_ to be the cowering at my feet the next time! How dare _he_ say that my experiments were useless, how dare _he_ taunt my life's work! How dare _he_ say that I'm incapable of producing perfect soldiers! How dare _he_! How dare _he_!"

" What would you like me to do? Would you like me to kill _him_?"

Patrick Zala calmed down considerably when he heard Athrun's cold words and his anger dissipated slowly but surely as his lips curled up into a smile that did not seem to reach his eyes. He let his eyes roam over Athrun's body, nodding in satisfaction at what he saw. No matter what _he_ said, Patrick knew that he had succeeded in creating the perfect soldier, the perfect tool for war. A boy who does not tire easily, does not need as much rest before continuing on the next task and his best advantage was that Athrun had special abilities even Patrick had yet to discover totally through those endless experiments that he had put Athrun through when he was young. People who mistook Athrun's slim build for weakness would be proved wrong in an instant for underneath those clothes were well developed muscles that were products of both gene enhancing and plain training.

" _I can't go on.." _

" _Do it!" Patrick shouted angrily into the communication system that connected the lab with the training ground that was adjacent to it, looking on with dispassionate eyes as the young boy laid gasping on the ground, curled up from exhaustion and counted to five silently. When he did not get up, Patrick's hand touched the buttons that were in on the panel that was in front of him and a door opened revealing a black clad figure wielding a knife that glinted evilly in the light._

" _I shall not repeat myself. Continue, you useless experiment! You don't want to die yet do you?" Patrick said mercilessly as he forced the young raven haired boy through yet another training module. The young Athrun gritted his teeth, ignoring the fatigue and nausea, struggling back onto his feet before the black figure had a chance to attack him when he was vulnerable. _

_Patrick Zala was right, he did not want to die, not yet._

Patrick's lips curled up as he remembered those days, Athrun was a boy who learnt fast, absorbing what he thought effectively and efficiently and the day he had realised that Athrun had special abilities, he was elated, though it came with a huge price. Still, it was worth it, definitely worth it.

Athrun was one of his proudest moments, a living actual fact that his dream had indeed become a reality. He had wanted to shout for the whole world to know, contact the press to show to the world that he was not a person who gave up that easily, to gloat and be praised for his efforts. Athrun's genes were perfect, his abilities and physical attributes honed to absolute perfection, in other words, Athrun Zala was flawless, the perfect tool for the perfect man. Him. Patrick Zala.

Yet after that huge breakthrough, he had to hide Athrun away from the world, had to keep everything that he had done under wraps because _that man_ said so. He despised the power that _he_ held over him, hated the fact that he still needed _his_ financial support for further survival as _he_ was the one who provided him with the necessary funds for merely living. Patrick could feel his anger coming back and he curbed it the best as he could before turning his attention back to his loyal servant, his 'son'.

" I would like that very much, but I'm afraid that we have to refrain from making rash decisions. Maybe later when we don't need _him_ anymore, I promise that you can get the kill." Patrick said, his eyes gleaming as he seated himself once again in one of the rickety chairs that seemed to be barely able to hold his entire weight, imagining the scenes where _he _finally was defeated by the his creations, the things that _he _had called useless.

A full minute passed by when neither man nor teenager spoke, with only the sound of dripping water in the background. Suddenly, Patrick stirred and spoke once again to the patiently kneeling Athrun, " I have another job for you though."

" Yes, father?" Athrun responded.

" I have just received another order for you. Your services as an assassin are highly favourable. That is good, Athrun, or should I call you Shinigami, the Death God, what a befitting name for someone who kills for a living. Even though you are new on the scene, the demand for you have been high as those people out there who needs your services are well aware that your success percentage has never been less than 100." Patrick said, his eyes proud. " The details are all here in that file. Review it and make your move. This one is urgent and our man is quite impatient for that particular person to die."

" Who is it?"

" Does it matter? He is no one to you."

" Yes, father, sorry I asked."

" I think you should get ready, pack your bags, prepare what you need to use. I have booked the next shuttle for you to Earth tomorrow. Do not fail, this payment is high and we do desperately need to money."

" Yes father." Athrun said as he got up to leave the room but his hand slipped and the file fell open, showing a brown haired teenager with violet orbs, smiling happily in the photo. Athrun's eyes squinted to look at the name, curiosity getting the better of him as he squatted down to pick it up and he mumbled under his breath the name of the person that would soon die upon his hand.

" Kira Yamato. A civilian of Orb."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Author's Note : Hope you like the latest update, I had to put it up just in case I get stranded in the hopeless blue nowhere again. The plot thickens from here onwards and I apologize for the short chapter, I promise that the later ones would be slightly longer to compensate. Hopefully, I do get reviews, I appreciate the ones that I have gotten but I have to admit that I'm a review addict, if given enough I prosper, if the opposite, I wither away and die.


	5. Wheel of Fate

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Three : Destiny Begins_

_**Lacus had her head bowed as if in prayer but in reality her eyes were blinking furiously to prevent the tears that were threatening to fall as she looked at the picture she grasped in her hand.**_

_**He can control matter.**_

" _**You are beautiful." Dearkka said, his voice now husky as he leant down to peck Yzak's on the lips.**_

_**Athrun's eyes squinted to look at the name, curiosity getting the better of him as he squatted down to pick it up and he mumbled under his breath the name of the person that would soon die upon his hand.**_

" _**Kira Yamato. A civilian of Orb."**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Four

Wheel of Fate

Cagalli Yula Athha sat behind her desk, her feet tapping nervously on the carpeted floor as she watched apprehensively at the digital clock that was in front of her. One day was threatening to pass since the day Lacus Clyne had proposed such a preposterous deal and still Cagalli had not thought up of a solution, her brain seemed to be stuck and she was hoping that Lacus would call out of the blue and tell her it was one early April Fool's joke but Cagalli knew that she had meant business, that steely gray eyes of that pink haired teenager was proof of such determination. What Lacus wanted, she got.

" Representative?" Hinata called out tentatively to the blonde haired teenager who seemed so faraway, lost in her thoughts. She had been like this since the day Hinata had found her face down in the boardroom. As her secretary, she was professional enough to not pry into the Representative's privacy, but as a friend, she was obliged to do so.

" Representative? Is there anything wrong?"

" Huh? Oh Hinata, were you saying something just now?" Cagalli said sheepishly, her face flushing a little as she looked at her childhood friend now secretary.

" Are you all right? I'm sorry to have disturbed you just now, but there are certain things that need your attention immediately, and there is the meeting you had rescheduled for today. It's in another fifteen minutes." Hinata did not want to remind her friend about those things but she had to do her job.

" I see." Cagalli heaved a sigh, " Thank you Hinata and I'm sorry I was harsh the other day when you allowed Lacus to come in. I guess I was in a foul mood that day." Cagalli apologized sincerely to the older girl in front of her.

Hinata Yui, nineteen and perhaps the total opposite of Cagalli; where Cagalli was loud, daring and brash, Hinata was shy, soft spoken and kept well to herself. Yet what looks did not reveal, her time with Cagalli did. Hinata is a well deserving graduate from one of the most prestigious schools in Orb, top of her class in fact, and had volunteered three years ago when the war was over to be the Representative's secretary. On the surface, she was somebody who followed Cagalli everywhere with a pen and paper, jotting down things furiously in order to remind the Representative when and what was forgotten and rather scattered brain and clumsy, but underneath the surface, she is one of Cagalli's most trusted advisors and her second in command if Cagalli was not present in Orb because of official meetings elsewhere.

Cagalli still remembered how she met Hinata when her father Uzumi Nara Athha had to attend those extremely boring dinners that was held out of formality by Orb. The Yui family was yet another one of Orb's noble families and Hinata had to make her appearance once in a while as a polite courtesy, something Cagalli thought was extremely dumb and a waste of time. Why should they show that even politicians have time for the families was lost upon her young mind and she had been decidedly very cranky and bad tempered every time she had to attend one of these events. Her maid would have an extremely hard time trying to chase her down in order to force her into one of those girly, frilly gowns that Cagalli detested since it tickled and was hot like hell.

_Hinata had been there during Orb's annual dinner looking like a princess, all prim and proper and doll like. Cagalli took one look at the dark haired, fair skinned, fragile looking girl and vowed that she would break her prim façade and what she thought up she did. But, instead of getting angry and mad, Hinata had smiled at Cagalli and went to wash up with the maid who was standing beside her, her calmness of the whole situation puzzling even Cagalli. Out of curiosity, she had followed Hinata to the Ladies and was shocked when she saw Hinata's maid slapping the young girl._

" _You idiot! What would your parents say! You could get me fired you…" The maid did not get to finish her sentence when she was thrown unceremoniously onto the floor by Cagalli who was then an expert in self defence due to her unique position of the Representative's daughter. Her father had insisted that she learnt it in case something happened to her when she was alone with no one there to help her, it was a precaution step to prevent unnecessary trouble and Cagalli had been very appreciative of her father's decision as she finally had a chance to vent out her anger without embarrassing both her father and herself during those trainings._

_Cagalli stared coldly at the red faced maid who stared back equally frostily before opening her mouth, " Who do you think you are, slapping a noble?"_

" _Who do you think you are? A commoner's daughter? A peasant? What clumsy rough ways, first you spilled food onto her dress and now you tried to kill me. How did you get in this black tie event?" The maid said through gritted teeth, her pride wounded by this slight girl with amber eyes._

_Cagalli merely advanced towards the haughty maid, her devious mind whirling non stop thinking of ways to get back at this impotent maid whose speech had irked her to no end. Suddenly her eyes caught sight of a familiar back and her face broke into a sly smile shocking the two people in front of her and before the two astonished eyes, Cagalli's expression changed from one of a feral, fierce lion cub, bristling with rage to a pitiful young girl who was being bullied._

" _What are you planning to do?" The maid could sense that the young girl in front of her was planning to do something but before she could stop her, Cagalli made her move. " No stop! Come back here!"_

" _Papa! Papa!" The young blonde haired girl ran towards the man nearest to them before throwing herself into his embrace when he turned around. She sobbed for all she was worth, putting up an act that was enough for her to secure the best actress award if there was one. _

_Lord Uzumi looked worriedly at his daughter and wondered what had happened, Cagalli was not one to cry and when she did, it meant she was either really sad or that she was play acting. Lord Uzumi had a feeling that it was the latter, he knew his daughter better than she thought, but he would go along with her to see what she had up her sleeve._

" _Cagalli, what's wrong?" He asked tenderly, bending down to see Cagalli's face more clearly. " Don't cry, tell me what's wrong and I'll see what I can do."_

" _She..she..she..scolded me a peasant's daughter! She said that I was rough and clumsy just because I spilled chocolate on her mistress dress. But I was just trying to apologize when I saw her slap her!" Cagalli said, tears still trailing down her face while she pointed at the maid who had pulled Hinata along with her to stop Cagalli._

" _A peasant's daughter? And you said she slapped her?" Lord Uzumi's face darkened when he turned to look at the maid who had finally caught up with Cagalli and was about to raise her hand once again to snatch at the small brat ._

" _What do you think you are trying to do?" He asked, his voice calm, as his hand tightened around the maid's hand like iron steel. Everyone could see that he was angry and they took a step back. No one dared to cross the Lion of Orb and yet this woman, a maid nonetheless had raised her hand to slap his daughter. There was going to be hell to pay._

" _I'm sorry Representative, this girl is an outsider, I have no idea how she came in…"_

" _Outsider you say?" Lord Uzumi's voice was chilling and yet the maid still did not notice the warning signs which even Cagalli at the sidelines could hear clearly had to give her credit for._

" _Yes, I'm going to take the necessary actions right now." _

" _I think I'm fully capable to teach my daughter thank you very much." _

" _It's okay, I can just…I'm sorry did you say your daughter?" The maid visibly paled when she heard that sentence and finally did she notice what she had gotten herself into. " I''m sorry, I'm sorry, I'm sorry." She said before throwing herself onto her knees and bowing in front of Uzumi and Cagalli, tears streaming down her face in fright._

" _Representative, what is wrong?" A familiar voice spoke up from the crowd when the commotion had attracted his attention and Lord Uzumi turned with a smile on his face to his old friend._

" _Ah, just at the right time Leonard. I think this belongs to one of yours." _

" _Oh? I think she does. She's supposed to take care of Hinata. What happened?" Leonard asked curiously, his green eyes looking back and forth from the crying maid to Lord Uzumi._

" _She slapped your daughter and tried to hit mine."_

" _I see." The smile on Leonard's handsome face vanished immediately as he waved his hands and two men appeared behind him. " Get rid of her."_

" _No! No! Yui sama, please, please, I did not know. I really did not know! Please, please, I'd apologize, please don't get rid of me. I have three children at home and a husband who is sick, please, please do not chase me out! What would they do? What would they eat? Please." The woman was sobbing uncontrollably now, her hands clutching at Leonard Yui's clothes, refusing to let go even as the two men tried to drag her away forcefully._

" _Father." Out of the commotion, an unexpected voice spoke up._

" _Hinata?" Leonard Yui noticed the still red mark on her pale face and frowned as he reached down tenderly to touch her face, " Does it still hurt darling?"_

" _I'm okay. Don't fire Lena – san. It was not her fault." Hinata stammered, her face reddening even further when she noticed that the people around her were looking at her intently. Yet, she had to say what she planned to say before it was too late._

" _I cannot tolerate people who hits my daughter, she should have thought of that sooner rather than later. She shall not be forgiven."_

" _Father, I think she has realised her wrong doing. I doubt that she would do that in the future, she was under much pressure, I do not blame her and she has been taking quite good care of me. Please father, don't fire her, ne?"_

_Leonard's eyes softened at his daughter's plea, Hinata would forever be that kind hearted, even to the people who had hurt her, she would forgive them instantly if she knew that the person had a reason and even if it was a lie, she would still make the same decision. _

" _Hinata" He said sighing, " All right."_

" _Arigatou, father." Hinata said, clutching at her father's hand before hiding her head in the folds of his robes, embarrassed by the people staring at her. Leonard smiled and petted her head before turning around to face the maid, his expression severe._

" _Let her go."_

" _Thank you, thank you sir! Thank you, thank you!" The woman wept gratefully at Leonard's feet, thankful that she would still be able to pay for the bills that came, that she would still be able to provide for her family._

" _Don't thank me. Thank my daughter." Leonard said before walking away with his daughter who still had her head buried in her father's clothing, leaving Cagalli to stare at their receding backs, her heart filled with awe at that kind girl, vowing that she would befriend her no matter what._

" Representative, representative!" Hinata called out twice in alarm when Cagalli spaced out once again.

" I'm sorry, I was just thinking back to when we met. I was a devil at that time and you were the angel, you still are."

" Representative, what is wrong? You are not one to dwell in the past and to say things like that. You can tell me what is troubling you and I will find a way that would benefit you and get you out of the mess." Hinata said earnestly. She had promised herself when she was young that she would protect Cagalli no matter what, she had earned her degree, learnt everything to the best of her ability just to serve the girl who had been so brave even when she was a child. She would always remember what Cagalli did for her that day during that dinner so many years before.

" Nothing Hinata. Thank you. Please, you can call me Cagalli when we are alone. There is no need for formality in private for old friends."

" Please tell me what is wrong Cagalli - sama."

" Cagalli – sama?" Cagalli said, amused, her eyebrows raised, humoured by her childhood friend. " Bah, call me what you want then."

But her smile disappeared when she looked at Hinata who stared back, apparently very determined to get to the bottom of things and she sighed, knowing there was no use hiding anything in front of this perceptive teenager. There were no secrets between them. Not now, not in past, not in the future either it seems.

" Lacus Clyne offered me a deal that I cannot say no to." Cagalli said sadly, swivelling in her chair to face the window, staring out of it into the purplish orangey sky, evidence of the setting sun. The view was astounding, breathtaking even, but Cagalli noticed none of it, her mind was preoccupied with other more pressing matters that threatened her country, the home that her father had sacrificed so much to build.

" What deal?" Hinata asked, her heart racing furiously when a sense of foreboding filled her.

"A deal to buy Orb." ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato stretched like a cat to work out the kinks and cramped muscles that he had unwittingly created upon himself as he sat in front of the laptop for ten hours straight since eight this morning, only feeding himself grudgingly when Nicol threatened to pull the power supply from the laptop. His eyes looked at the grandfather clock that hung in the middle of Nicol's apartment, noting that it was six in the evening already.

" How do you feel?" Nicol Amalfi asked teasingly, knowing fully how Kira's condition was currently.

" You try to do this for ten hours straight and you tell me how it feels." Kira shot back jokingly as he stood up to walk around.

" You brought this upon yourself so don't blame me, last minute work does not benefit anybody, you know that. Come." Nicol said before patting the sofa and inviting Kira to sit beside him in order for him to do what he did best.

" I would really like to do so," Kira replied while eyeing the sofa, extremely tempted, knowing how good it felt to be massaged by Nicol's expert hands, " but I have to get this to the college in about half an hour's time before I'm lucked out."

" All right. The keys are on the hook on you left on your way out. Drive carefully, ne? If there is one scratch, even one small scratch of dent on my baby, you know the consequences right?"

" Yes, yes I know. I have to stay in your apartment, let you chauffeur me around in your 'baby' and eat your horrible cooking." Kira said while he retrieved the keys before turning around to face the frowning Nicol and blowing a raspberry before exiting, ducking the pillow that Nicol threw at him in time, his laughter echoing in the corridor outside. Nicol stared at the closed door listening to the sound of Kira's laughter filter through, his expression saddening immediately when he thought of the things that were about to happen.

Sure that Kira was no longer about, Nicol stood up and walked towards his bedroom, bending down at the edge of his bed to pick at the loose wooden board that hid one of his treasures. The wooden board came out easily and revealed a worn battered book, yellow with age and splattered with a few drops of crimson on the first page. Nicol paused for a moment, his hands at his side as his green eyes looked down at that book which contained the thoughts and feelings of the person who had taken care of both him and Kira to the best of his abilities and whispered a prayer of respect for Meng sensei before taking the diary out of it's hiding place.

Nicol dusted away the dust that had collected on it, sneezing a few times when some of it tickled his nose, " Is this your revenge to me for leaving you in that filthy place for so long, sensei? I apologize, but this is a precaution that I have to take. I do not want anybody to stumble across this diary of yours, the knowledge in it is too dangerous, you do understand right? That was why you entrusted it to me in the first place."

Nicol's lips cracked into a smile as he realised how it would look to others if they had caught him talking to himself or to the book that he was currently holding in his hands. He laid the diary onto the floor beside him before replacing the wooden board and walking towards his desk. He sat in the chair and placed the diary in front of him, leaning forward once to switch on his table lamp that provided the only light in his room as the sun set in the distance. Flipping the diary open carefully, Nicol's eyes could not help glistening with tears as he looked at the familiar handwriting.

" Meng sensei." He whispered before blinking his tears away furiously and continuing on with his search for what he was looking for. His slim fingers traced the words that Meng sensei had painstakingly jotted down, his brain recalling the facts that he had imprinted since the last time he had opened the diary to look for an antidote that Kira had needed when he first experienced those excruciating pains. The whole process of Meng's experiments were scribbled in his messy handwriting, formulas, times, the chemicals that were needed, everything. Meng sensei had been meticulous in his work and it showed in the compact writing that hurt Nicol's eyes to read.

" Where is it?" Nicol muttered his eyes scanning through pages and pages of Meng sensei's personal thoughts before he finally came to it.

_I had finally produced the Ultimate Coordinator, I was afraid that even the boy would not be it, and that I had failed, failed both as a scientist and as a friend to Patrick. He has to be stopped if not by my hand then at least by one of the children that I have created. Kira Yamato would be his name and Nicol Amalfi would be his guardian. There is a war brewing, the animosity between humans are escalating and the irony is that this are the fruits from both Patrick and my experiments from before, genetic manipulation at it's prime. Why is it that technology could benefit us so much and be a double edged sword at the same time? Our experiments were supposed to be for the good of mankind, for our children to be better, to be protected from those numerous unknown diseases out there, what had started to be a vision had turned into a disaster._

_Naturals and Coordinators? What a joke, I have feeling that I have not much time left, I would not be able to care for all three of the children. I have found the perfect family for the girl, the man that I would be entrusting to with is a kind man who would love her with all his heart, he was a friend whom I had met a long time ago, he saved my life once when he rescued me when I was running away back in Plants. I thought I was dead when Patrick shot me but miraculously I survived and was saved, I think my time on earth was not supposed to end before I am able to fix what was wrong._

_Uzumi Nara Athha, the Representative of Orb funded my research when I was back in full health and provided me with anything that I had asked for. Basically, he took me under his wing, he would care for the little girl like his own daughter. I saw it in his eyes when he picked her up that first time, they bonded instantly, him with her and her with him. Cagalli Yula Athha was what he had named her and I was glad that she would be taken care of. I had to keep Kira Yamato with me as I had to continue the research on him and to know for sure that he was the Ultimate Coordinator that I had been working so hard to achieve. _

Nicol closed his eyes and leaned back into the chair, his mind replaying the name over and over again. So the girl's name is Cagalli and she was now the Representative of Orb. That would prove troublesome if something happened for what could he say or do to convince the Representative to forget about her responsibilities of ruling the country and to fight against evil. He would be imprisoned forever in a mental institution if he ever said that in front of her. Nicol reopened his eyes and caught sight of a white edge that was peeking out slightly from the cover of the book and he pulled it out of curiosity.

It was a photo of two babies, cradled comfortably in a woman's arms, one was brown haired and the other blonde. Both of them were sleeping peacefully, one of their chubby arms clutching at the other as the woman smiled proudly into the camera. Nicol flipped the photo and found that his instincts were correct, the babies were both Cagalli and Kira.

_ Who is this woman? Does she play any role in this whole situation? Would she prove a threat to both Kira's and Cagalli's existence? _

Nicol scrutinized the photo for anything that could provide any clues about the woman but found none, all he could see was the what was in the photo. He had never seen the woman before but he was not surprised when he came to that conclusion, he was just one at that time and was kept isolated in the house where Meng sensei had lived in. He had no contact of the outside world nor had he any inkling what Meng sensei was doing. Nicol was just a happy, busy child who had to do lots of reading and running and jumping under white coated grown up's supervision. He just had not realised that they were experiments at that time and had wished for somebody to play with. All he felt during that phase was the loneliness, he had felt no pain, no pressure. Meng sensei had been a kind man.

Nicol sighed and picked up Meng sensei's diary once again, he would have to torture his eyes again for more information, important information that could play a huge role. Yet, Nicol knew if he were to be frank, what he was doing right now was to prevent himself from feeling useless, helpless to shape his destiny, Kira's destiny. Searching for information in the only source he knew was the least he could do in preparation for the future as he had to know who the girl was and if she was needed, he knew where to find her. Knowing one's enemies and friends was the first step that he planned to take.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

" What do you mean she's planning to buy Orb?" Hinata asked disbelievingly, her eyes wide. She had heard accounts from Cagalli herself about the war and how Lacus had been during that period of time. Besides that, from personal experience, she had thought Lacus Clyne to be a just and fair person, a little narrow minded about some things but definitely not someone to have just proposed to buy Orb's neutrality.

" I mean just that, she seems changed Hinata. I don't know what she is thinking anymore. Maybe I never did know in the first place, but one thing is perfectly clear that she means business when she said that she would only give me a week to consider. I think it was her way of saying sorry." Cagalli ended bitterly.

" What do you intend to do?"

Cagalli closed her eyes, weariness filling her entire soul, all she had wanted was a peaceful country, a neutral country where she would rule the best as she could, to fulfil her father's dreams, to provide a safe haven for the people who wanted to live in harmony together. But it seems that was just too much to ask.

" What should I do Hinata? I cannot leave the country, not like that, Plant intends to go to war again and I have a feeling the main reason they want Orb is because of the mass driver and the current technology that we have. As you are quite clear, the technological research department of Orb's government has been making a series of breakthroughs, may it be on the newly modified Gundam Astrays or the other weaponry. Orb cannot afford to go to war anymore, we have just been able to stabilize the economy, people have just began to heal…"

" What are the consequences if we refuse?"

" There is no difference between going to war and refusing her offer. Lacus threatened to pull her company's financial backing from Orb."

Hinata gasped, " But that would mean that more than 60 of the people here would be out of jobs."

" Exactly, when there are dissatisfied people, there would be riots, and what riots can do, all of us have experienced that first hand three years ago. Everything that we have worked for, the peace, everything could go down the drain within a matter of seconds. The peace is grudging, the people out there still not as understanding as we would have wanted but it's a start and now, with this, everything could be destroyed. There really is not much choice that I have, what is it that we can do? We need the Clyne Company, and by doing so we have traded Orb with them. It's a no win situation where Orb will be on the loser's end." Cagalli said grimly, her fists clenched tightly while her eyes blinked back the angry tears.

Hinata Yui stayed silent, her mind working through the available options, weighing the odds, trying to figure out a way to free Orb from the clutches of both Plant and the Clyne Company.

" Have you told the other council members? We would need their opinions on this. They cannot be left out of the hoop."

" No, I've not told them anything, as there was firstly not enough time and secondly I don't intend to, they would just make more problems for me, since they have never wanted me as their leader in the first place. I understand my need to consult them as they are after all the experts that the council has elected, unfortunately, my selfishness is about to put it off till the very last moment." Cagalli paused for a moment before continuing, this time in a smaller voice and very much vulnerable, " They said that I was too young for the job, that I'm inexperienced, and now, this has come up to show how incapable I'm on these problems, I am starting to wonder if their opinions about me were right in the first place."

" Please do not think of yourself that way, Cagalli – sama, the council members may not think that you are capable but the past three years have gone by peacefully, the people of Orb respect you, in fact they love you. You were a war hero, unlike those who only knew how to dictate from afar, they would never know the price of real peace, they have never even been hungry for a day. How could they possible fathom how normal people think or feel? You know the pain that those people have gone through, you have seen their tears, their fears, you know what is best for them. Have confidence in yourself Cagalli - sama, you have always been a brave person, it's just a small bump in the road, you have friends here even if you don't realise. They will support you no matter what, believe in that."

Cagalli swiveled around to face the red faced Hinata, touched by her words, " Thank you, that meant a lot to me. There is still time to figure out a way, you will help me won't you, Hinata?"

" I thought you never ask, Representative."

" Now let's go to the meeting before we are marked as tardy, shall we?"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Miriallia Haww looked envyingly at the two boys who were sitting side by side by the fire that they had just built a few minutes ago. She yearned to find out what had transpired between the both of them but it seems that once again, she was the one who would be left behind.

She had awoken in their room this morning to find them both with contented smiles on their faces and sleeping close to each other, depicting a scene that brought the green eye monster rearing. She had felt foolish, felt incredibly irritated at herself but she was just human. Miri was never one who daydreamed, she was too cynical to do that, but she had envisioned that either one of them would be her shining knight in armour who would sweep her off her feet into a better future where she would be protected from everything, that one would be her future husband, but as time passed, she knew how stupid it was and this morning had just been there to rub it in her face.

She sighed and poked at the flames, making it jump and one of the sparks fell onto her pants leg, setting it alight. She screamed in fright, trying to brush it off but it just seemed to burn higher and higher. Both Dearkka and Yzak who had heard her scream jumped into action immediately, Yzak who was able to control water put it out unthinkingly while Dearkka went towards her to comfort her.

Miri's eyes were wide when he reached her as she had realised even through the fright that the fire was gone but none of the boys had run to get water. She stared at her pants before transferring her gaze to both Yzak and Dearkka.

" What, what happened?" She whispered, her face pale with shock.

Yzak Joule looked away, his eyes hooded by the silver bangs, "Kuso" He muttered under his breath, none of them had thought of telling Miri, not knowing how she would react, but now the cat was out of the bag.

" What do you think? We splashed water on you and the fire went out. Easy!" Dearkka said while trying to laugh, but even to his ears it sounded false and forced. He tried to look away from Miri's hurt bambi eyes and knew that both Yzak and him had screwed up.

" I see." Miri said, hurt evident in the two words as she turned around to walk away.

_They are not willing to trust me. They think that I would betray them because I'm a girl. _

_They don't need me any longer. They have each other._

" Where are you going?" Dearkka called out in alarm as he reached out to catch hold of Miri who shrugged his hand away.

" I'm going to change, baka!" She scolded without turning around, hoping that her voice sounded normal, afraid that if she did turn around she would not be able to go on with the decision that she had just made. " I'm going upstairs to change, if you need me, I'll be there."

" All right." Dearkka said, relieved that Miri seemed fine, but something nagged at him, asking him to call her back, to at least accompany her back to where they stayed but he forced the notions back into the recesses of his mind telling himself that Miri needed some space alone. He walked back towards the silent Yzak and sat down beside him, the event from earlier hanging like a dark cloud above both their heads.

" We are cowards aren't we?" Yzak said softly, head bowed low. He knew what Miri was thinking, had seen her hurt expression when she had turned away, but he had not wanted to tell her the truth, he did not know if he could trust her, which was a pathetic excuse. He knew that Miri was one of those girls who were extremely loyal to her friends much less the only family that she had ever had, Yzak had known that much, but why did he not tell Miri the truth?

" I think we are just selfish bastards."

" It's for her own good if we don't tell her the truth. I think that is the best way, ne?" Yzak spoke aloud, knowing perfectly clear that the sentence was intended for no one but him, he was just trying to convince himself that what they just did was right, was for the better.

" Yes. She just needs some time alone, she'll forget it soon." Dearkka continued, trying to brush off the event as something non important. " Let's talk about something else ne?"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Miri walked alone along the dark streets to where they had their small room in one of the dark grey imposing houses that lined the whole road. They were in the poorest section of the whole Plant colony and it was just plain pure luck that the woman who had agreed to rent out the house to them was a kind hearted person who had always wanted children of her own. Miri smiled as she remembered that woman's face, slightly plump and very motherly, she had reminded her of a mother goose.

" Nana." Miri whispered, her hands pushed deep into the pockets of her jeans as she walked hunched against the cold. The woman's name was Nana and she had bonded instantly with Miriallia. Nana had once told her that she looked very similar to the daughter that had perished during the war three years ago.

Miri's vision blurred as tears welled up in her eyes once more when she knew that she would have to leave Nana behind, she needed to go away, away from the two boys that did not need her, did not trust her. They were evidently in love and Miri did not have the heart to be the baggage that they had to cart along every time they went somewhere. Her use in what she had thought was her only family was gone. They needed no one except themselves.

Miri stopped at number 65 and opened the door quietly, praying that the squeaky door would cooperate with her and not make a sound. She did not want to face Nana and make her worry. Tears did not work well with smiles. Miri tip toed down the staircase that led to the small basement room that the three of them shared together, breaking down fully when she came to look at those familiar items that spoke volumes of the two of them.

" Why did you not just tell me the truth? I would have understood. I really would have understood. Did you think that I would have told the authorities that you had special powers? That maybe you thought that I would stay away from you because you are a freak? Which is it? Yzak, Dearkka? Don't you understand that we are a family? Why don't you trust me?" Miri sobbed, as she tumbled down onto one of their mattresses, breathing in their unique scents, burrowing her head into one of their pillows to muffle the sounds of her crying.

_Just a little more time. Then I'll go. Then I'll leave them alone._

_

* * *

_Author's note : I'm sorry there is a bit of a cliffhanger there about when Athrun and Kira would meet, but I promise that it would not be long till you see them. This is my most recent update and I might not be able to update that frequently anymore, forgive me. I promise that I will try my utmost to do so so please be patient with me, ne? Oh, I hope you enjoyed the interaction between Yzak and Dearkka, I haven't really written anything on them yet so I'll be focusing on them quite a bit too. Hope you enjoyed this chappie.


	6. Changing Game Play

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Four :Wheel of Fate_

_**A photo of two babies, Cagalli and Kira. **_

_** Who is this woman? Does she play any role in this whole situation? Would she prove a threat to both Kira's and Cagalli's existence? **_

_**Cagalli swiveled around to face the red faced Hinata, touched by her words, " Thank you, that meant a lot to me. There is still time to figure out a way, you will help me won't you, Hinata?"**_

" _**I thought you never ask, Representative." **_

" _**I think we are just selfish bastards." **_

" _**It's for her own good if we don't tell her the truth. I think that is the best way, ne?" Yzak spoke aloud.**_

_**Miri's vision blurred as tears welled up in her eyes once more when she knew that she would have to leave Nana behind, she needed to go away, away from the two boys that did not need her, did not trust her.**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Five

Changing Game Play

Miriallia Haw checked her appearance in the mirror, a sad smile playing on her lips as she noticed her blotchy face, swollen nose and the puffy red eyes. She had been crying for over an hour before she stopped, afraid that the two boys would come back and see her like that. Part of her wanted the boys to come back, to know how much they had hurt her by acting the way they did, and if they apologized, she knew that she would think no more of leaving. But, the bigger part of her resented the fact that she was so emotional dependent on them, that she needed them more than they needed her, after all they had not come back, not one of them had came to see if she was all right.

_You really are pathetic Miri, a lost cause, don't you ever learn?_

Miri turned away from the mirror. She could not bear to look at herself in the eye, not wanting to see the raw hurt and pain that were written in her eyes at that moment or her vulnerability.

She did not want to leave, she knew she did not dare leave. This belonged to her finally after so long. Her home.

Her only home.

It was so unfair.

She lifted her hands to rub at her eyes which were sore from the earlier tears, and walked over to the small canvas bag that she had packed. Her eyes gazed about the room once again checking whether there was anything else that she needed, she wondered if she should leave a note, or at least something to tell them not to worry, to…

Miri sighed frustrated, what was she supposed to do? What is she going to do now? Why even after what the two boys just did, could she not get them out of her head? She hated herself for thinking about them, how they would feel even after what had happened. Confused and hurting emotionally, she wondered if this was what she really wanted, if this was the right decision to make. Their relationship was complicated, but they had memories together, good memories that Miri knew she would never forget. They had taken care of each other for five years, been through up and downs together. They were family.

_You promised to protect them They had better futures than you, you saw that in them and had vowed to protect them. Are you trying to run away from your responsibilities now?_

Miri looked at her trembling hands, indecision tearing her apart, she had indeed promised Dearkka once that she would always be there to protect him, to protect Yzak. It was her role in their small family, the protector. However, there was yet another part of her that was rebelling against her earlier choice.

_They don't need me, they have each other._

_But you promised them. _

Miri strode angrily around the small room, biting nervously on her fingernails, a bad habit she had gained while living on the streets. She knew, no needed, to go away, well at least for the moment to clear her mind, to keep her pride intact and to have a small respite after all these years. But, uncertainties bit at her, gnawed at her consciousness, eating away at her resolution, her need to get away.

_What is she could not find them later? What if they really were gone by the time she came back? What if.._

Miri shook her head furiously, she had no time to think about the consequences, she knew that the longer she stayed, the chances of her leaving would be close to nil, and she would be forever bound to the two boys who thought nothing of her. To hell with the consequences, they would have to learn to live without her for awhile, she owned herself this much. And maybe, maybe when she was ready once again, she would come back, she would never be far away from them.

_Because Dearkka and Yzak will always be in her heart. She would protect them there._

Miri heaved the canvas bag unto her shoulder and strode out of the room with her head held high. She would have to learn to be strong. Alone. She could do it, she would do it. She had to do it.

Yet, even after the pep talk that she made to herself, the tears still came as she whispered, choked to the empty room, " Arigatou… demo… sayonara, ne."

_Thank you, but goodbye._

Her final words accentuated more by the click of the closing door. She never looked back.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Athrun Zala checked his belongings before looking once in the mirror to check his appearance. Finding nothing wrong with either of them, he nodded in satisfaction before grabbing the tickets to Orb that Patrick had provided him the night before and walked out the door of his room.

His work has begun.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Cagalli Yula Athha looked in amazement at her childhood friend, Hinata Yui before asking, " You want us to make Orb a free trade zone? Give subsidies to investors, open up the markets for others to come in and sell our technology to those idiots out there? I had thought that we were doing the earlier suggestion before but the latter, I will never agree to that! Have you not seen the consequences of that during the last war?"

Both of them were back in Cagalli's quarters, sitting facing each other after the exhausting meeting with the council members whom Cagalli had never thought would be over. She had zoned out many a time during the meeting, causing irritation to both herself and the council members but she had not cared. There were more important things on her mind. And now that they were back in her quarters, she could concentrate on what was more important instead of those old fools who just wanted to upstage her and to show how incompetent she was.

" I understand your concern about the technology part. But, there has to be a backup plan in case the main plan fails. Our technology is a valuable asset to us and if we are able to sell them to the highest bidder…" Hinata stopped at Cagalli's withering gaze and immediately changed the topic. She was a smart woman, albeit a shy one, and that was just an attempt to plant that idea into Cagalli's head however pathetic it was. She was savvy enough to know that this was her chance. Hinata did not need the Representative to agree now; she just needed to show Cagalli that there was yet another way that they could use if push came to shove.

Hinata lowered her head to look at the notebook in front of her and continued as nonchalantly as she could with her argument but focusing now on her earlier suggestion and answering Cagalli's questions, speaking no more of what she had shocked Cagalli with.

"Yes, to a certain point we have, we welcomed them but then there were not as many perks as there is now. In the beginning, we have handled all the exports and imports ourselves, there have never been a problem from that side before. But, since the population had grown over the years, the demand for everything from food to clothes have increased incredibly. Your father had suggested that we allow other companies from both the Earth Alliance and ZAFT to be able to conduct their businesses here since it is a neutral country with equal opportunities."

" But, I sense a but coming up." Cagalli said wryly, her calm back into place.

Hinata managed a smile before her professionalism took over, " But, on one condition, that Orb owns part of the company shares, the said part being big enough to be able to control those companies. If they were willing to cooperate, then Orb welcomes them with open arms. This was the way your father controlled them."

" However, when the war came, everything became complicated. And, after the war, Lacus Company took the initiative to offer to rebuild, in fact without them we would have been yet another struggling third world country, and would not be able to achieve what we have now, well not in three years time. We cannot deny that they have been playing a huge role in returning this country as it is right now and we as the Orb government did not intend to get on their bad books and had forsaken the condition that your father had imposed on foreign companies."

" We? What do you mean we? Why was I not informed of this?" Cagalli asked, her eyes sharp as guilt started rearing it's ugly head.

_Had she been such a bad leader to have not noticed what was happening around her?_

Hinata looked at Cagalli's frown and understood her feelings, empathising " You are not a bad leader, it's just that you have been quite busy with other things and have been away for long periods at a time. There is a rule that when the Representative is gone, her secretary would take up the job as the second in command. We is the Orb council and when you were away, we had been discussing about this issue and the decision it seems is that we made a grave mistake that day."

" Why was I not informed of this meeting, this decision? How many more things do I not know?"

Hinata could see the wheels turning in Cagalli's head and the suspicions that were looming and she hastened to explain, getting out of the chair that she had been sitting in instantly and bending low at the waist as a sign of submission, " Cagalli – sama, I'm not trying to take your place, there are meeting reports, agendas that have been written and I have placed it on your table, just like the others, maybe you just forgot about."

" Are you implying that I did not read it?"

" No." Hinata back pedalled desperately, her mind whirling, thinking of ways to explain to the Representative that would not promote further misunderstandings. Hinata was cool to the point of freezing when it came to her judgement in official matters, a competent individual and not easily ruffled by anybody else. However, when it came to facing emotions no matter it belonged to hers or others, especially if that significant other was Cagalli, she resembled a fish out of water, flopping desperately to survive.

" Cagalli – sama, please you have to believe me. All these have been gone through legal channels, lawyers looking through every inch of it to prevent any loopholes, the 12 council members voting unanimously and all of them agreeing to the decision. It had been typed personally by me and set on your table for as an Eyes Only file. I remember putting it there. It was there."

Cagalli looked at her secretary, reading nothing but sincerity and puzzlement through her black obsidian eyes, " You really did put the report my table didn't you."

" Yes."

" So why have I not seen that report? Have your misplaced it somehow?" Cagalli asked out of habit instead of need. She knew that Hinata was not lying and she had indeed did such a thing and if so, who had removed the file and why?

" No. Please trust me Representative." Hinata choked out, close to tears.

" I do and don't bow like that, it makes me nervous." She said to defuse the tension that was palpable in the room, slightly annoyed with herself at doubting the only true friend she had in Orb.

" Thank you, Representative." Hinata whispered, visibly relieved that Cagalli had indeed believed her and settled back into her chair, getting her professional self back onto the scene.

Cagalli looked apologetically at the shaken Hinata and allowed her a few minutes to recompose herself, saying nothing. When she was sure that it was all right to begin, Cagalli cleared her throat and started the discussion once again.

" Back to your earlier suggestion of opening up Orb I really do not believe it as a good idea as it may backfire on us. Giving them the freedom to come in, to allow them even here at this time, who might say that they would not pull yet another trick like what the Clyne Company has done? I mean, it sounds great, but the risk is greater, is there no other way?" She asked, rubbing absentmindedly at her temple which emitted a faint but sure sign that a major headache was coming on.

_Why had that file gone missing? Is there a connection with what is happening now and then?_

" Are you all right Cagalli – sama?" Hinata asked in concern, noticing Cagalli's actions and the pale shadows beneath her friend's eyes, it was more than a tad bit disconcerting. She had never seen Cagalli that pale and sickly looking before. " Maybe we should discuss this tomorrow? When you have rested enough…"

Cagalli cut Hinata's sentence off with a wave of her hand before offering a tired smile to the girl, " I'm all right, I appreciate your concern, but right now, the fate of Orb is more important than anything else, it has to be decided as soon as possible about the best action to be taken so that we have ample time to carry out the decisions and not face the wrath of the enemy. If Lacus ever breaks the news about leaving Orb before we get to carry out whatever plan that we have decided, it would be a nightmare. The people, the other potential investors, we cannot let that happen."

"Besides, once we have done our homework, a plan has to be drawn up in which it could be used to convince the other old blockheads…." Cagalli paused, her expression one of frustration, exasperation and not to mention helplessness and continued, " Do you see why I cannot rest now? We are running out of precious time with none to waste, we have to figure out the best way to end this once and for all. Bureaucracy is not something that can be overcome within one or two days, we would be lucky if this plan of ours can come through at all. I intend to do this the normal way and not to pull my weight. I have something to prove to those old fools out there. "

_And the missing file. It happening disturbs me, there seems to be a bigger picture but all I can right now are bits and pieces that makes no sense._

Hinata frowned at Cagalli's insistence but there was nothing she could say to convince Cagalli when she had her mind set on anything that she wanted to do and she knew that Cagalli was worried about the file that had went missing and Hinata was too. It seemed to hold little significance but now, especially now, when Lacus had been threatening to pull the company and the file conveniently gone for whatever reason Hinata could not fathom, it seemed a clue to further bad news. She suppressed a shudder, unwilling to think about what that would mean and focused on her task at hand.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Athrun Zala, wearing dark glasses, a black turtleneck and jeans walked casually to the check in counter, noting through habit the people who were milling around him which looked both wary and sleepy. He flashed a smile at the attendant who returned the favour with much more than he had given in the first place, especially after she had time to check out his physique.

Athrun maintained his polite smile and pretended to not notice the signs that she was sending him, more than slightly irritated by their response. He was used to it, used to the attention that he generated whenever he was anywhere, but that did not mean he liked it, nor did he revel in it. Instead, it did the opposite and turned him off. He did not know why Patrick had created him to look like this, he had thought that being an assassin meant looking plain, normal, unassuming, evil. He was not supposed to look like an angel when he was the devil himself.

_Foolish women, can't they sense the danger?_

The female attendant tried one last time to catch his eye, pouting when she failed and turned away with a huff which suited Athrun just fine. He had no time for frivolous games, not in the past and never in the future, he would never be comfortable if he were not alone. That had been drilled into him since young, Patrick Zala had seen to that training very very thoroughly.

" _Athrun, look what I've brought you. Don't you like it?" Patrick Zala held out a brown box which moved and provided sounds incredibly like an animal whining. Athrun, then eight had no idea what it was but curiosity got the better of him and he went forward to look at the so called "gift" that Patrick had brought him out of the blue._

" _Father!" He had exclaimed in delight when the living thing that was in the box jumped out and licked his face furiously, tail wagging so fast that it seemed like it was about to take flight soon._

" _Don't you like it? I bought it since you did mention that you love a pet to keep you accompany and you have been quite good lately." Patrick had said so genially, so much like a father at that time that Athrun, delirious with delight had failed to notice the cool glint that was in Patrick's eyes._

" _Thank you." He had said and would have ran up to the man who had created him to hug and even kiss him, but he remembered that affectionate gestures were a taboo with Patrick and he squashed that thought immediately and instead focused all his attention on the wriggling bundle in front of him._

" _What are you going to call him?" Patrick had asked._

" _Hope." Athrun answered without preamble, it was the first word and thought that had came into his mind at that time. It had represented the hope of his life turning around, that he would finally be like a normal boy, a boy who had a family who loved him, who treasured him, who cared._

Athrun's lips curled up in a sardonic smile, his mind replaying the scene that had happened nine years ago, one year after Patrick had given him Hope, he had learned fast and hard from that lesson, he still remembered what Patrick had said when he was forced to kill his faithful companion, his only confidante for that one happy year.

" _You do not belong to the light Athrun, you never will. Hope belongs to those that is able to see the light, and you, you my masterpiece would only bring despair. Do you understand me?" As if to strengthen his point and goal, Patrick had kicked Hope's cooling body viciously, making the dead animal fly through the air and smack Athrun right in the face. He had knelt there like stone, feeling the warm blood that trickled out of Hope's mouth when he had broke her neck, she had looked at him with that kind, brown, knowing eyes of hers and accepted her fate. She had been willing to die in order for him to learn that precious lesson._

Athrun, his face impassive even after that particular memory, looked at his wristwatch, noting the time was 15 minutes before 12 which meant he was half an hour early for his flight. He heaved the tote bag that contained the necessities for his job and walked over leisurely towards the deli that was in the building as the fragrant aroma of coffee wafted pass his nose . He grabbed a magazine after he had ordered before sitting down in one of the chairs that were there, his attention riveted on one particular picture that accompanied the article that was focusing on college competitions on science and technology, robots to be exact.

He flipped open the magazine to that particular page before skimming through the entire article looking for that one name that was his main reason that he was leaving for Orb. His eyes brightened when he found what he was looking for and he had focused more on what the article had been about.

_Kira Yamato, a genius, claimed by one of his college professors had succeeded in where others had failed. The experiment that he had went on to present to the judges was awe inspiring and represented hope for the future of mankind as it had provided a solution that would settle once and for all the depleting energy source that was occurring everywhere after the nuclear and Genesis attack that had been launched by both ZAFT and the Earth Alliance. His group of four had consisted of another three course mates of his, Sai Argyle, Tolle Koenig, and Fllay Allster._

" Interesting." Athrun muttered under his breath and he could not help but felt a little pity at the one he was supposed to kill. Kira Yamato could be so much more than just another statistic of his. But he had a job to do and money to make, Patrick did not take lightly to failures. Athrun did not fear Patrick Zala and he was more than able to carry on with his life without the man who had created him, yet, he could not kill him, could not escape the hell that Patrick had weaved around Athrun because there was no other life than he knew of, he did not know anything else except to kill.

Athrun shook his head to clear those unnecessary thoughts before glancing once again at his wristwatch to check the time. He had been unusually thoughtful these days and it was inappropriate for his line of work. Emotions and feelings could mean death if he was not careful and Athrun planned on living a very long and fulfilling life. He got up fluidly from his chair, taking the cup of unfinished coffee with him before he walked over to where he had originally took the magazine, replacing it and turning around to walk towards the departure gate.

" Hey." Someone cried out in shock as the sound of flesh hitting ground could be heard clearly in Athrun's sensitive ears and the feeling of someone ramming into him recorded in his mind. His first reaction was to teleport, but nothing seemingly dangerous about this situation was detected and he relaxed his body and senses, looking down to look at whatever that had ran into him.

" Aren't you going to apologize?" That particular somebody said indignantly, her voice ringing through the space that they occupied. Her hair was covering most of her face as she rubbed at her ankle earnestly, but when she looked up, Athrun had to force himself not to step back.

" Aren't you going to help me up? Apologizing would indeed be very welcome." Miri said as she glared at the cool, handsome teenager in front of her, hating the fact that she could not see his eyes. To her since young, eyes were the window to one's soul and she had always judged a person by their eyes, it had saved her many a time when she had been out there on the streets.

Athrun could not believe his luck and for a moment was not able to react nor function normally until a few precious seconds later. " I'm sorry." He said softly, holding out a hand for her to grasp before he pulled her up, his emotions hidden clearly from view as his brain churned possibility after possibility in how he was able to manipulate this situation. But, for now, information is the power and he would gather as much as he could before he is able to plan his next step.

" Where are you going?"

Miri looked up in surprise at his question, he was a stranger to her yet somehow her inner sense was telling her that this raven haired teenager in front of her knew her, but she had never seen him before in her life. She had a tendency in remembering people's faces, especially good looking ones, but no matter how much she racked her brain for an answer to this riddle, she came up blank. And that feeling of not knowing did not make her better when she heard his question.

" I'm not too sure. Why are you asking?" Miri retorted defensively.

" Because you look lost and sad." Athrun simply replied with the truth. In some certain situations, it was better to stick with the truth than to weave complicated stories that would trip you up when you were not careful, and now was a time indeed to stick to the truth and nothing else.

Miri's eyes dimmed and she bent her head low, her hair once again hiding her facial expression from the world, but Athrun knew that he had hit the right note and her suspicions were thrown off track.

" It's none of your business."

" I know. I was just asking, it doesn't matter if you don't want to tell me, but talking about it would help. Glad to meet you, whoever you are, I hope that everything turns out fine. I'm in a bit of a rush at the moment, I'll be going now." Athrun said, giving Miri a pat on the shoulder before walking off, counting silently in his heart, betting that she would call him back before the number ten.

And his instincts were always right.

" Hey, hey you." He heard her call from behind but pretending that he did not. He was indeed telling the truth that he was in a hurry, he had a shuttle to Orb to catch.

" Hey!" Miri shouted, running to catch up with the brisk walking teenager whom had spoken to her earlier, catching hold of one of his arms and pulling him around roughly to face her. She did not know why she was acting this way or why she was even talking to that dangerous person, but she knew that he was her ticket out, away from where is she right now. Opportunities like this do not come so often, she had to take it when it is there, even if she knew that she was walking in a trap.

And, truth to be told, she was desperate to get away, reckless enough to get herself involved with someone her sixth sense is blaring non-stop for her to stay away. She took in a deep breath as she realised that the teenager was waiting for her, not saying anything, just looking at her with that shielded eyes, before she blurted out those words that she hoped she would not live to regret.

" Take me with you."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dearkka Elsman and Yzak Joule walked into the room and immediately sensed something was off. Both of them looked at each other before they went towards Miri's side of the room and looked, everything was still as neat as a pin but the duffel that she had when she was still bumming around on the streets, the only possession that she had except for the clothes on her back, was gone. It had been her baby, hers, and now it was gone.

" She's left." Dearkka mumbled, closing his eyes in pain, he should have gone after her, they should not have lied. They…

"Stop it Dearkka, it's not your fault, both of us did not trust her, we were too selfish and self absorbed. I was too selfish. I wanted the secret to be between us, I needed the security that you belonged to me and never to others. I needed that. And now…she's gone because of me. I…I don't know what to say or do that would ever remedy this. I…" Yzak choked on his words and looked away, his ice blue eyes dark and unreadable. He did not know why he said all that, neither did he deem it necessary but everything just poured out, he was being selfish again, manipulating the situation to suit his needs.

_You'll never learn to feel free._

Dearkka stood there numb, realising what Yzak had told him mirrored his own feelings exactly, their possessiveness for each other did not allow for yet another to be around them, but they had been family for so long. Miri, Yzak and him. What would it feel like if they were less one? Maybe it would be for the best for her to go, it would save her and them more pain in the future.

" _We are family aren't we? I'll protect you till the ends of the earth if need be, so don't feel sorry for all these wounds. I don't care about them" Miri said as she concentrated on pulling the glass that was impended in her hand, gritting her teeth in order not to scream from the agony of wound._

" _You should have minded your own business, I did not need your help. I was all right alone. I … Kuso! Let me do it." Dearkka said gruffly under his breath when he noticed Miri was trying her hardest to remove the glass and he squatted down beside her to examine her wound._

" _You are lucky that bottle did not shatter over your head, why the hell did you step in their path? I really could have protected myself sufficiently." He grumbled under his breath. _

_Miri snorted when she heard his last sentence before wincing as the movement jarred her injured hand, " Yeah and you are superman, what do you think your are Dearkka? You are not invulnerable and if you are seeking death, I think you should at least get something memorable done before you just die on the streets, I believe that you don't belong here, you belong somewhere in the realm of princes and horses, not here with lowly people like me. I'll protect your future whether you like it or not."_

Dearkka could not help but remember that fierceness, that determined look Miri had in her eyes that day when she had met him for the first time. She had been a stranger he had met earlier, struck up a conversation with just to past away the time, he had not known that he had left such a deep impression on her and had certainly not expected her to trail after him, but he was glad at that time that she did, she had indeed saved him from a serious head injury as she bravely stepped into the path of a broken glass bottle and shielded him from that attack. He had used that opportunity to retaliate and managed, barely, to chase those hoodlums away. They did not like to pick on people who fought back.

" What are you thinking about?" Yzak asked softly, jarring Dearkka out of his private memories. Yzak knew but still he needed to hear him say out loud, if not to reassure his own heart that the both of them thought alike then to figure out how important Miri was to Dearkka.

" Miri. She saved me once too many times." Yzak was not disappointed with Dearkka's prompt answer. He should not have worried, Miri was like a sister to Dearkka, someone who had protected Dearkka and whom Dearkka had obligations to protect but not to love like he had with Yzak.

_Yzak, you really are a bastard. Can't you let up on the selfishness? _Yzak cursed himself in his heart, hating himself but not willing to hide the truth. He let a moment pass before speaking, his arms enveloping Dearkka in a hug from behind and placing his face onto Dearkka's shoulder, offering comfort and taking some too.

" I know. She did the same for me too."

Dearkka had stiffened when Yzak's arms went around him, but relaxed almost immediately, enjoying the closeness between the two of them, the courage to voice out his thoughts flowing from Yzak to him. " We are bastards to have let her get away."

" I know."

" We have to find her."

" I know."

" It's only right."

" I know." Yzak whispered.

_You have to learn to be free Yzak. Free from the selfishness that bound you a long time ago. Free from what Patrick had made you to be._

Dearkka turned around to face his silent companion, brow creasing naturally as he frowned, showing his tendency to worry about his silver haired angel. Yzak kept too much to himself, but Dearkka could be a very patient person when he needed to be one, Yzak needed space and Dearkka would gladly allow him that. Now was definitely not the time to force anything on Yzak, he did not need to relive his past, no matter how curious Dearkka was. He had no right to dig when Yzak was not ready to do so. That could wait. For now, they had to focus on finding Miri and the most important thing, their futures.

Dearkka, still in Yzak's embrace, lifted his hands to cup Yzak's heart shaped face gently, his thumbs brushing against Yzak's cheek as Yzak closed his brilliant baby blues. Dearkka continued his hand movements, enjoying the smooth skin beneath his palm before he bent down to plant butterfly kisses on the slightly shorter boy's eyes, mouth, nose, mouth, and finally Yzak's unlined forehead before letting go of Yzak's face and entwining his fingers with the other's.

Dearkka's eyes filled with determination and yet the fear of the unknown lurked beneath the surface as he knew that something was about to change, he did not know what, but he hoped that it was for the better. Miri was right, he wanted to be more than he was right now, he did not want to be just an ordinary street kid with an ordinary life, with just yet another ordinary story to tell. He wanted more. More with everything that was in his life.

And it would start now, with finding Miri. ………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

" Cagalli – sama, we have gone through most of the options that we could have and there is nothing that is showing up at the moment, You are exhausted and frankly, as a friend, I do not think that being up sitting here is going to help anything." Hinata said, her eyes looking straight at the blonde haired teenager who sighed in response, nodding to show that she knew what Hinata was talking about.

" I know. It's …" Cagalli waved her hand around the room, the space where her father had occupied before her, time barely erasing his way of life, his essence, when he was still alive.

Uzumi Nara Athha had always been an avid reader, anything with words he would consume and understand, sharing it with Cagalli when she had been just a little girl, creating and painting a wonderful but unfair world in her eyes. Her father was not one to mince his words or to sugar coat the facts so that she could be protected from the big bad world. He had indeed told her that nothing was as it seems and had encouraged her to dig deeper for the truth, hoping that Cagalli would grow stronger, more matured as she judged things for her own.

_The truth is not as it is on the surface, there are more to just one reason._

Cagalli smiled at the memory of her father, standing up to walk towards one corner of the room where wooden oak bookshelves that towered over her, filled to the brim with books of all kinds, from history to geopolitics to even just plain folk tales. She ran her hands over those books lovingly, feeling as if her father was still there, but her comfort was shattered when she looked down at her fingers and noticed the dust. He was no longer here, no longer with Cagalli to protect her, Orb was all she had right now and the only thing her father had left her.

Cagalli's fists clenched tightly, her nails biting into her palm as her anger and frustration bubbled to the surface. At this current moment, she could not have cared if someone stabbed her with a knife, the pain from that flesh wound would be so much more preferable and bearable than the pain from what her helplessness and stupidity caused her heart.

Lord Uzumi had left his legacy, Orb, for her to rebuild, to strengthen and maintain. He had left this country in her care because he trusted that she could do it, that she would. He had not expected her to fail and to just give up when there was a crisis, and now this is the perfect time to show the others that her father's choice was not wrong.

_If only I could find that one key to unlock this whole mystery._

" Cagalli – sama." Hinata called out, slightly worried by the sudden silence.

" Hinata, what do we know about Lacus Clyne?" Cagalli said without turning around.

" Whatever that is made known to us."

" I understand that there would be some of our people working there, am I not right?"

" Yes, Cagalli – sama." Hinata understood what Cagalli was implying, every company that was in Orb had a certain amount of informers that was crucial to the government. The companies owned by other nations could hold much more danger if left by their own devices and Orb has made sure that nothing of that sort could happen by planting a few of their moles in those companies. Clyne was no different and much more important since it was the biggest and the most important.

" Contact them. Ask them to dig deeper, there must be something that has made Lacus change. I know that there is something that she is hiding from us. Ask them to find it. We'll go from there. Right now we'll follow your proposal of opening up Orb as a free trade zone, compile the facts and figures so that I'll be able to present it two days later. Discuss it with our economists, ask their opinions, their ideas, we have plenty of people on our payroll, find those whom you trust and are able to do their job."

" Yes, Representative."

" We have yet another six days before she retracts that company of hers and I hope that we would be in time to do whatever damage control that we can to prevent major problems in the future."

" We will be in time."

" I do not have to tell you that we have to be careful…" Cagalli trailed off as her gaze once more became distant.

" Do not worry. I understand the possibility that she would have her own spies in our midst as we have in hers, I will be careful."

Minutes ticked by as the two teenagers stayed silent as both of them were caught up in their own world and thoughts of their own. But, the silence was not a comforting one and Cagalli was glad that Hinata was the first to break it.

" Cagall – sama," Hinata started, visibly gulping at the prospect of the long speech that she had ahead, before plunging head on what she had intended to say, " Do not worry about this whole situation. Lord Uzumi believed in your capabilities and he knows you're definitely able to do what he entrusted you to do. Do not put that much pressure on yourself, he may have had high hopes for you, but I personally believe that he just wants you to be happy. If you are well and healthy, he would be the happiest, not when you are the opposite. Orb was important to him, as a country as something that he was responsible for, but, you are different, you are his daughter. And, for that, he will never be able to rest in peace if he knew you were damaging your health because of him, he would not appreciate you doing that."

" Cagalli – sama, you may think that I'm interfering, but as your friend, I cannot stand by the sidelines and watch you struggle alone, you are never alone. I'm always here if you need me and I have promised myself that I will be, no matter when and where, so please, if you don't believe in yourself, at least believe in me, in those who support you. They will be behind you all the way."

Cagalli, touched by Hinata's sincere words did not know how to respond, the pain that was in her heart soothed partially by the trust that Hinata had placed in her. All she needed was someone who believed in her, trusted her and to support her. Hinata had provided that emotional comfort and for that, Cagalli would not give up just yet, not now when the fight has barely begun. She would indeed rise to the challenge and with the help of the people who had believed in her, defeat the enemy.

" Hinata?"

" Hmm?" She said without looking up from where she was scribbling her notes and things to do.

" Thank you. You really are an angel in this chaotic, power hungry world of mine."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Author's note : Sorry for the late update and don't kill me becuase there isn't any mention of Athrun or Kira. I promise it'll be coming in the next chapter. I need to plum up the few other main characters they'll pout if I don't.


	7. Premonition

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Five : Changing Game Play_

" _**Hey!" Miri shouted, running to catch up with the brisk walking teenager whom had spoken to her earlier, " Take me with you."**_

" _**She's left." Dearkka mumbled.**_

" _**We have to find her."**_

" _**Contact them. Ask them to dig deeper, there must be something that has made Lacus change. I know that there is something that she is hiding from us. Ask them to find it. We'll go from there. Right now we'll follow your proposal of opening up Orb as a free trade zone, compile the facts and figures so that I'll be able to present it two days later."**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Six

Premonition

Athrun Zala opened his eyes which were still inadvertently behind the dark glasses that he had donned earlier and looked at the sleeping girl besides him, his lips curled up into an ironic smile. He had located their seats earlier, heaved whatever little luggage that he had into the compartments above and had settled down for the flight. The shuttle was nowhere near first class, it was the actual opposite actually as it was old and rather shabby by long usage and not very apt handling but it was at least clean.

Athrun's emerald eyes swept around the shuttle's space allotted for the passengers and particularly where he was for the second time to make sure that there was nothing out of place and it was done out of habit rather than anything else. Satisfied that nothing was out of the place, he switched his attention to the girl that had insisted to tag along.

Miriallia Haww she was called, she had told him that much after boarding the same flight out of Colony 5 that was now currently heading towards Orb at the speed of light. She had been embarrassed and afraid, that much he could tell from the emotions that fleeted across her face when the impact of what she had just done hit her. She had offered just that while the rest of the story and the reason as to why she was there, she had kept to herself and Athrun, being the gentleman he was had not wanted to intrude.

Yet.

Unaware of the staring eyes, Miri mumbled something in her sleep, her brow creasing as something in her dreams bothered her and her hand clutched at the duffel she had with her with even more strength that was expected from a girl who was fast asleep. All of these Athrun noted with a clinical detachment as he thought of ways to make it work to his advantage. He had no qualms of using what had been given to him and it was not in his nature to give it up out of compassion.

Compassion. Athrun snorted silently at that word. Compassion had never been associated with him. He might have turned out differently if he was brought up unlike the way he was but years and years after trying to survive when everybody out there wanted to kill him, he had no choice but to turn into what he was now.

"_Bakemono! Die!"_

" _Abomination."_

" _You don't belong here."_

" _What the hell are you!"_

Different voices, different faces, different languages but all saying the same words and showing the same disgust, horror and terror that he had seen time and time again. Athrun's face was impassive even when he remembered those names that he had come by through his eighteen years of life, he had long accepted his fate, embraced it even. They had paid, all of them did, his success rate had always been one hundred percent and there was nothing but blood and carnage at every scene. He was a Shinigami, he had the right to pass judgement to those beings, they had nowhere to run, their fate was just death. His hands were filled with blood and he was nothing but a monster.

There was nothing in him that spoke of compassion or empathy. His modus operandi has always been "kill or to be killed". He was ruthless, cunning and heartless, and he had survived by using those traits. Basic survival instinct, an animal trying to live, whatever that is called right now, he did not care, what he is, he is. He did not belong to the light, he belonged to the darkness that had consumed him since he was born. Blaming fate was nothing but a useless emotion he had long since curbed, if he had ever felt helpless, that had been a thing of the past, he had grown strong, and he intended to grow even stronger. That was the only way he could stay alive.

Athrun knew social engineering very well, he was the living proof of an evil entity with a beautiful face. People thought that evil existed in a combination of horns, tails, pitchfork, sulphurous breath and a really ugly face but Athrun knew that everything was not as the surface. Many used to say that evil can be seen on the surface, nothing could hide what that person was inside, but Athrun knew his looks could gain him anything, access every where, he had used this face his "father" had given him to do nothing but evil, and this beauty he had just proved how right he was, that it is just on the surface. Nothing more, nothing less.

He looked at Miri, at her delicate features that were bunched up in sadness even in her dreams and the tears that leaked by her eyelids and trailed down her smooth skin. Athrun reached out a slim hand, an artist's hand, to brush gently at her tears, drying it. It may have seemed like a gentle movement, of kindness or even to provide comfort to those around him who saw that gesture, but only he knew that she was being branded by a devil.

Athrun wondered offhandedly whether Miri would be able to come out unscathed after everything that he would be putting her through; she would be the tool for him to lure those two unsuspecting flies into the sticky web of Patrick Zala's plans. He could not help but to ponder if she would be able to withstand knowing that their fate would be what it is in the end because of her and if she did not, what would she do to save them or even herself. This emotional game was going to be highly captivating and interesting.

And he was going to enjoy it till the end.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

1.30 am.

Cagalli Yula Athha was no longer in her formal wear and she trudged heavily, dragging her tired feet the few more steps that would soon bring her to her soft, comfortable bed. She had followed Hinata Yui's advice and retired to her bedroom, or should she say the quarters that was prepared for her whenever she had to stay the night at the Orb's administration. Cagalli had a house, a mansion more likely quite a distance away from the Orb administration building even though many had advised her against that decision, but she had voted out against a nearer and more logical option. The mansion, the housekeeping staff, the landscaping decisions, everything had been done by Hinata, her loyal friend.

Hinata had deemed it perfect for a leader to live in a castle and Cagalli had said nothing to disagree, understanding her best friend intentions of providing her with Orb's finest and most modern. The mansion was an impregnable fortress with armed guards and security cameras all around the huge compound. Cagalli had never been comfortable in that 'house' and had never once called it her home and she knew deep down inside, she would have preferred if she just lived with the orphans, with Reverend Malchio who had provided her with much shelter during the war. She had been happy there, with the children, coping with her internal conflicts in peace.

Cagalli's lips quirked up in a small grin when she remembered the confrontation her security personnel and the reactions of some of the council members when they had insisted that she lived in her mansion, or at least move somewhere that was more easily accessible by them but Cagalli being the woman that she was, stuck to her principles and had insisted as politely as she could that she would not be changing her mind.

Cagalli had meant no disrespect to those who had objected but she had felt that it was proper that her house was not to be afflicted with the business that she had at the office and had went ahead with her decision. It was bad enough that everything surrounding her reminded her of what she was destined to be and she would be damned if she allowed those irritating old farts into what she did not think of as a home. She had promised herself that she would make it a point to inconvenient them in order to discourage their comings and goings. She was headstrong, stubborn and ignorant as hell, all those traits she knew perfectly, but, she did not care. Those traits had gotten her though the war and it was about to get through this crisis as well. Her father had accepted her the way she was and if he could, she would too.

Cagalli snuggled deeper under her covers and fell into a deep slumber before her head even warmed the pillow, yet her sleep was troubled and strange people seemed to materialize around her and a stream of events she was forced to watch as a bystander commenced.

_She looked around her, turning round in circles, trying to figure out where the hell she was and why she was having the weird images once again. Seemingly normal people strode past her in ghostly apparitions, passing through her as if she was nothing but swirls of smoke and she was momentarily distracted by that feeling. Disconcerting was the only word that came in mind and she hated that feeling._

_Cagalli decided to walk, to explore this weird dreamscape of hers and she followed the crowd. She was on a street but there were no signboards to indicate where she could not help feeling that everything seemed familiar, as if she had been there before. Cagalli tried digging deeper into her memories, trying to recall what was it that made it so familiar but nothing came out of the murky depths of her recollections. But, what struck her as the strangest thing was that everybody was heading towards the same direction, walking as if in a trance towards a place where she had a bad feeling about. She opened her mouth, wanting to ask a person, anybody, what was happening but nothing she did could attract their attention. She was a ghost to them, somebody who could see but not be seen._

_She continued her brisk walk, absorbing everything that came in sight. The smoking shops, the rubbish littering the blackened ground, the overhead sky that was dark with heavy clouds, threatening rain. Her surroundings were bleak and lacked the usual colour, even the people around her seemed lifeless, it reminded her of what happened three years ago, during the war that tore the world apart. Unwilling to just take off and run without finding out anything, Cagalli continued to walk down the never ending street. However, before she could react, something slammed into her and she went down, trying to break her fall with her hands, a cry escaping from her lips._

" _Hey!" She cried out, knowing that no one could hear her but doing it just the same. Yet, as she looked up when she finished checking her wounds, she found to her chagrin that her surroundings had changed once again. She could not make any sense of anything that was happening to her, what did anything mean by those people? They looked dead, in fact their faces was devoid of any expressions, no smiles, no anger not even the slightest hatred that she knew was in everybody's hearts. When before there were people now there was nothing just space, empty dark space where she was floating. Cagalli squinted her eyes, trying to pierce the darkness, to see, but all she could vaguely make out was the outlines of several doors. _

_Cagalli stretched out her hand, trying to reach the nearest door but found that she could not move. She was stuck in something that resembled black tar and the only thing that she could feel was the suffocating fear. "No!" Her mind screamed and she fought with everything she had to move, to do something to save herself. Yet, the more she struggled, the harder she found it to breathe and finally when everything dimmed around her, the thought of her dying without any reason the last thing on her mind, she felt a firm hand grasping hers and she was pulled out of that darkness and into yet another world._

" _What are you doing here?" The boy who had saved her asked, his brown hair and bright violet eyes a stark contrast. Cagalli stared at the apparition, not sure if he was real or just another figment of her imagination. She was certain she had never seen him before but she felt as if she knew him, he was the kind of boy who was handsome in a gentle way and as absurd as it sounds, he looked incomplete and Cagalli knew instinctively what was missing. A pair of angel wings, broad and wide, and in the purest of white. _

_Cagalli stared up at him in as much sanity that she could muster as she lay there gasping for breath, her hands shaking, trying their best to support her weight, trying to calm the racing heart and the fear that she had felt just seconds before. The boy reached out towards her, entwining her hand with his before enveloping her in a hug that brought back the warmth to her body. Cagalli's eyes widened in shock at the sudden movement of his, but relaxed immediately, feeling strangely unthreatened at all by his presence and truth to be told, she could not have cared less about the position that she was in, just that she felt very comfortable._

" _Who are you?" She whispered, her hands hugging that slight boy back. She knew him somehow, somewhere, she had seen him before, she knew that as a fact. " Who are you? I know you." She repeated._

_However, before the smiling boy could answer, Cagalli was dragged away once again into another place, and this time what she saw was death, blood pooling around a body that had seen better days and an outstretched hand that was pointed to the skies, searching for someone who could save him._

" _Help me." He croaked, looking at the direction at where she was standing, eyes pleading. The shadows that lurked everywhere made it impossible to see, it made her nearly blind. But, the voice, the weak voice sounded so familiar, and yet, it was once again a time where she could not remember when and where she had heard it._

_Cagalli instinctively knew that she knew that person, even though she stood quite a distance from him and her eyes squinted once again to make out his features. That feeling of helplessness, of not being able to remember terrified her. There was something about to happen and she feared that it was too late to do anything to help. She tried to move, her brain commanding her limbs to work, but, they adamantly refused. _

_Suddenly, Cagalli realised that there was yet another person in the room and her attention was caught by a glimmering object held in that person's hand and whom was slowly stalking towards the fallen boy. The knife gleamed dully in the dark, it's blade already coated with dark, sticky substance that Cagalli knew was blood and that it came from the boy laying on the floor. The second boy's face was expressionless but Cagalli could read in his eyes the torment and pain that what he was doing now caused him._

" _Don't do it." She whispered, choked, her voice stuck in her own throat, as her hands stretched out as if on it's own accord to try to reach the two boys._

" _Ath.. don't do it please." The boy on the floor whispered, his voice ragged, weak and Cagalli noticed that the boy who had been advancing with the knife stop. _

" _Save him." She screamed knowing that the wounded was drifting away, his life essence flowing and creating a pool of crimson around him, dyeing his clothes layers and layers of dark red. She looked on with horrid fascination as the boy merely smiled and started to move again._

" _Why shouldn't I do it?" The boy asked, his voice gentle, but there was a slight tremble when he lifted the knife higher._

" _Don't..do…something…that you would regret." _

" _I will not regret." And with that he plunged the knife down._

" Nooo……….." Cagalli screamed and sat upright in her bed, her covers tangled all around her, cold sweat pouring down her back as her breath came out in short ragged spurts. The boy had killed his companion, that much she could tell and yet there were emotions that she could not differentiate to whom it belonged. Terror, love, hate, guilt, everything was jumbled up and entangled with each other, the two boys were connected in some way, and there was more to that killing that she had witnessed, she did not know what it meant and whether if it was real, but the brown haired boy with bright violet eyes who had hugged her before everything changed had felt so real. Cagalli could still remember the comfort, the warmth that had emanated from him to her, she had nearly given up and he had shown up to save her. She knew that this did not mean love, her feelings were much more complicated than that.

" You are nuts, Cagalli Yula Athha." She muttered under her breath as she got out of her bed, sleeping no longer an option for her.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato tossed and turned, flipped this way and that and still could not get a comfortable position to sleep. Insomnia. He groaned out loud, hating the sound of the ominous word, remembering bitterly the times when he used to be able to sleep within the blink of an eye, wherever and whenever he wanted. But now, he was resorted to counting sheep.

And that did not even work.

He pushed himself upright in the bed that he was in, Nicol Amalfi, his guardian had insisted, no forced him to sleep in his apartment for an undisclosed time in order to make sure that whatever that had struck him earlier in the week would not resurface, that was his reason, and Kira appreciated the favour. If truth to be told and Kira was absolutely frank with himself, he would admit that being in Nicol's apartment soothed his uneasiness, he did not want to be alone right this moment, he felt too vulnerable and weak. Everything that had happened, he certainly had not signed up for and knowing that made it even worse.

Kira got up from the confines of the bed and padded towards the window that showed the world outside. It was 3 in the morning, Kira knew because he had caught sight of his watch who told the time even in the dark, it's numerals glowing green. He watched the street below, the lamppost that provided light in the otherwise dark night and his mind flew back to the dream that he was having before he awoke.

A blonde girl with amber eyes. He had saved her from the swirling, sucking dark cess pool that was threatening to overwhelm her, although where that came from he had no idea and most of all Kira did not know nor understood why she was in his dream. He had never met her before and dreams as he knew and interpreted consisted of events that a person's sub-consciousness is trying to get through the logical part of that certain person's brain. He knew through the books that he had read, that dreams no matter how innocent or wild it seemed, represented part of a person's inner thoughts.

_So what is my sub-consciousness trying to tell me?_

Kira sighed as his brain recalled the scenes, that blonde woman had looked so familiar, as if he knew her from somewhere, but that was not the case. He knew her and trusted her as absurd sounding as it was if he considered how short the time that he had met her. But, he could hardly doubt the way that he was feeling right now because, he knew those feelings well enough for reasons no other than not being to be so open to another human being before, well except Nicol.

Kira blushed a little when he remembered the part of that dream when he had spontaneously wrapped his arms around her, thinking nothing more of any consequences and had just wanted to comfort her the only way he knew how. Words at that moment would be futile, she was half dead and shivering, and he came up with just that way to ease her fear. He half expected her to push away, to scream bloody murder, or accuse him of trying to molest her, but in the end she had just hugged him closer, he had felt a sense of peace that he had never experienced before and cursed the short time that he had before being pulled back into reality.

Thinking back, it was rather unusual for him to display much affection publicly, usually he would have been much more reserved, him knowing fully well that he was not one to show his emotions, he was accustomed to hide them and bottle them inside rather than make a fuss out of anything. Nicol had reprimanded him on that kind of attitude more than once, warning him that it was a dangerous thing, associating him with a time bomb and that exploding was a matter of when not if. He had shrugged off that warning, smiling sweetly as he usually does to get Nicol off his case. He knew what was good and bad for him and he appreciated Nicol's concern, but that was his personality, there was no way he could change it after eighteen years of life and that made him a little depressed.

But back to the topic of hugging that girl, he had not done it out of love between sexes, it had been more of a family feeling that prompted him to do what he had done in that dream.

Family? Kira snorted. He was an orphan, he was born out of machines, there was no way he would have a family, and if that was the case, Kira had no idea why he had dreamt of a girl that he had not known yet recognized as a friend and maybe something more and the cess pool.

"_Just like it sounds, Meng created us. There were three of us, you, I and another girl. Both you and her are twins, created from the same embryo."_

"Could she be my twin?" Kira mused out loud as he remembered that certain sentence that Nicol had said. The possibility was there and it certainly explained the weird feeling that he had experienced as he had read in books that twins share a special bond between them. However, on the other hand, there were certainly no similarities between them, well not physically. He had brown hair, hers was blonde, his eyes were violet, hers were amber. They were like two different peas from the same pod and with that, Kira spent the whole night dissecting his feelings and thoughts, sleep far away from his train of thoughts.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Ishida Toshiro awoke with a start when his mobile phone rang, his senses on full alert instantly since he had been able to master the art of cat napping. Half of him would be asleep and the next second would be completely and undeniably awake.

" Hello?" He spoke briefly into the phone, his grey eyes narrowing when he heard what the other side had to say.

" She's looking for it? How did it come up that it was gone?"

" Seemingly someone mentioned and she realised that she had not seen it before." His informant in the Orb administration building answered, the voice scrambled. It was a precaution that both were willing to take as they did not know how secure a secure line can be. It would be incriminating for the both of them if their voices were recognized. Ishida paused for a moment, brain whirling, to find a conclusion to solve this particular problem. It was a small matter, but there was always the Murphy's Law. Everything could happen and that certain everything would be bad, worse and worst. He certainly did not want his plan to be revealed prematurely.

" For now, just keep an eye on what's currently happening. Keep me informed." Ishida said before cutting the connection, his eyes wide open and staring at the ceiling above. He got up slowly from his cosy bed and padded across the bedroom to the adjoining room beside confidently in the dark. He arrived at his pride and joy; the antique wooden oak table that he had fell in love at first sight and flipped on the lamp that was on it.

The dim glow threw shadows around the room, providing not much light but was adequate for Ishida to walk towards the bookshelf on his right. His hand went towards the second shelf and the dark red book in the middle and pushed against it slightly. Almost immediately, there was a slight noise that indicated that what he intended in the first place was completed. Ishida walked towards the opening that measured no more than the size of any average portrait size, revealing a computer screen that glowed eerily in the semi – darkness, and stepped right in front of the tiny camera that would scan his retina twice.

" Identification confirmed. Ishida Toshiro."

Yet, Ishida did not relax even after his identification was successful. His fingers flew across the small keypad on his left to type in the password even if it was not prompted. It was a small trap for anybody except him who might mean harm. Ishida was no fool, he knew for a fact that there may come a day that his quarters here in Plants might be compromised and that no security measure would be good against people with the will to enter, but, he would do whatever he could to ensure that it would not be breached that easily.

And as a second precaution for that certain just in case, he had programmed this particular security measure. Technology is a frightening thing, a scan of his retina somewhere without his knowledge could produce copies of fake retinas that would trick even the best computers and it was certainly not hard to search for this particular secret place. So, he had included a password that he changed frequently, but did not allow it to prompt the user for it.

If, it were truly him, Ishida Toshiro, nobody would get hurt, and if it wasn't, there would be a hell of an explosion. And that he meant literally, not figuratively. The bomb was rigged to explode when no password was entered within a minute and if it was wrong for three times consecutively. It was a requirement.

" Password confirmed."

Ishida waited the thirty seconds that was needed for both the screen and the keypad to retract back into the small dark space and for a small safe with yet another password to appear, patiently. The safe was an antique too, one that required the user to twist the small knob in front of the door in the correct sequence before it opened. He twirled it twice to the right and three times to the left before one more to the right, smiling slightly at his paranoia but satisfied nonetheless when a small click could be heard. He reached in to retrieve a yellow file with a "Private and Confidential" stamped in red across the whole front page. He flipped through the contents, the smile on his face growing wider and wider with every second.

" Representative of Orb, your secretary had indeed done a good job in agreeing with our terms. It would be partly her fault that Orb is currently now in the predicament it is in. She could not have made such a big mistake indeed in not following the tradition of the deceased Lord Uzumi. His plan of having a huge share in a certain company was a brilliant move, you did not want to tread on Orb's saviours toes, that I understood. But, you should have took some other precaution, some better advice. I understand that you did refer to some of Orb's lawyers, but you should have ran more thorough background checks. You would have seen that your lead legal adviser was under my pay, my money. He has sworn allegiance to no other than me. Your mistake, my gain." Ishida chuckled.

" I had this file removed from your eyes Cagalli because I could not afford any mistakes. I will not underestimate you as I do learn from past mistakes and that was one mistake that I would regret forever. Underestimating Lord Uzumi cost me too much that I'm about to get back from you, Cagalli. As his daughter, you bear his sins and for that you will pay, you will pay because your father humiliated me. I was the one who had tried to convince the council in the past to allow him to be Orb's Representative, in the hopes that I would be able to control him in the future, but I failed to do so, rending my flawless reputation damaged. I will remember that fact forever, it's not enough that he's dead. My reputation is useless now and it's all because of him. I lost that election because of this, those council members do not want a man who failed, they wanted somebody who brought them victory."

" What would you do when there is nowhere to turn? It would be fairly interesting to watch you squirm and struggle but succumb to your fate eventually. It was the same with your father, it would be the same for you too. Revenge is sweet and I will not be thwarted from owning the world."

Ishida replaced the yellow file in it's original place, paused a little as if in thought before reaching in once again to take out yet another file identical with the one before. There was no name on it, nothing to indicate the contents that were in it and all in all, it looked like just another empty file. Ishida fingered the binding, strangely reluctant to open it, wondering why in the first place he took it out. But, he was never one to deny what his heart yearned for.

The file contained mainly just photos, things of his past that contained most of the people he knew, but none of the photos had him in it. He was always never there. He flipped the file close instantly and replaced it, slamming the door of the safe shut, his head starting to pound, indicating a migraine. He cursed low under his breath, hurrying through the process of shutting everything down and striding out of his study and into the bathroom where his medicine cabinet was. He opened it roughly, grabbing at the only bottle in it, unscrewing the cap and in his haste dropping it, the noise it made making his head hurt all the more.

Ishida's hand trembled as he shook the bottle a couple of times before a black pill dropped out onto his palm. He gulped it down without bothering about water before he finally calmed down. He shut the medicine cabinet and stared at his image in the mirror, noticing the bloodshot grey eyes and the haunted look that came with it. He knew nothing about these migraines, except that it started after the war for a reason that he could not fathom. He turned on the water and allowed it the run, the sound of it soothing him, before he cupped his hands under it and splashed some of it onto his face. He straightened and turned off the water before turning around to grab at the towel behind him, using it to wipe his face dry.

He trudged back wearily towards his bed before flopping onto it tiredly, his strength depleted as it always was when he knew there was a migraine coming on. He tried to close his eyes, to ignore the pinprick of pain that promised more to come. His stash of painkillers was slowly depleting and the bottle that remained was all that was left. He made a point in his head to replenish it before falling into an uncomfortable, unfitful sleep.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Patrick Zala stared into the darkness, his eyes accustomed to it as he let his mind roam. The contract that he had sent Athrun on promised big money, the woman who had called him had insisted that Kira Yamato be killed as soon as possible and that if done, she would pay him a grand total of a million dollars. In this kind of time and condition, it was a hell a lot of money for a normal person's life, he was not even royalty, some politician's son or a war hero, just a normal kid who went to college. But, who was he to say anything, he needed the money to stay alive and for the device he was currently working on. The device was very crucial for the future especially after noticing the slight changes that was in Athrun.

Athrun. He smiled when he thought of that name, it brought back memories of his past that he had nearly forgotten. There had been a woman, a woman that had interested him immensely in a time that was so long ago. Her smile, her laugh, she was not a beautiful woman, not by any normal standards. She had a nose that was too crooked, her mouth too wide, but she had the most beautiful hair and eyes that made every other defection cease to exist. Patrick did not remember where he had met her, but he did remember what he had done to her when he was thirty seven years old.

Her name was Yvette. Yvette Carpenter. She was twenty five and extremely talented with her hands. She had wanted to be an artist, and she had been successful so far, her paintings selling quite well in a gallery opened by a close friend provided her with a steady income. She had proved to be an interesting friend, the stories that she told made her light up her surroundings with an inner glow that he could not tear his eyes away from. It was undeniable, the attraction of him to her. But, it was not to be, she had told him gently that she only wanted him as a friend, that she was not one to cheat on her boyfriend. He had agreed gentlemanly, smiling as his heart seethed and boiled. But, those emotions, those murderous intent he had he buried it deep in him. He took his time, planned his advances and even if he was not able to get her heart, he had her body.

"_You killed my boyfriend. Why?" The woman with black hair and emerald eyes screamed in grief, lunging at the person in front of her desperately, trying to inflict back the pain that she was currently feeling._

_Patrick Zala evaded with ease, stepping fluidly behind the hysterical Yvette and twisted her right arm behind her back with a force that nearly dislocated her shoulder. Yvette screamed but this time it was filled with pain, her eyes tearing. _

" _Because I could. What I want I get. You scorned my love, the easy way out, and this is the price that you have to pay." He whispered gently into her ear and flicking out a tongue to lick her earlobe making Yvette shudder. _

" _Let go of me, let go of me!" She struggled but to no avail, Patrick's hold was too strong. " What do you want me to do? What the hell do you want with me?"_

" _It's not the time to bargain dear Yvette, your time had passed, I allowed you a chance to be the happiest woman on earth, but you said no, you declined!" Patrick emphasized the last word, his eyes that contained warmth before now showing only disgust and a cruelty that was never seen in him before. Yvette whimpered in fear, she could not help it, even if she knew that made her seem weak._

_Patrick dragged her across the room and into his bedroom, throwing her onto the four poster bed that was there, handcuffing her flailing arms and legs to the edges of it, watching her body squirm and struggle against the bonds. He smiled as he walked away from her towards the bottle that he had put on the table outside, picking it up and swirling the dark red contents that were starting to congeal to form undistinguishable lumps before returning to her side. _

_Yvette stared at him in horror when she recognized that dark red matter, that bottle. She had seen it in her boyfriend, the maniac in front of her had shoved it in his stomach, twisting and filling it with the blood that flowed out of the wound that he had inflicted before. The screams of pain and horror of her boyfriend reverberated in her head as she whispered his name. _

" _Athrun…" _

_Patrick's eyes darkened when he heard that name and his hand tightened against the bottle, cracking it. His breaths came out in deep angry bursts as he stared at the woman under him, his anger making him loose any logical thought. But, his lips curled up suddenly as he got his emotions under control and his grip on the bottle loosened. He grinned down at the woman who whimpered in fear when she saw his expression._

" _What are you trying to do?" She asked terrified, her struggling increasing and intensifying until the four poster bead rocked. Patrick merely continued grinning at her maniacally before cupping hold of her face, not bothering to make it gentle, bruising it immediately. He forced her to look at him, waiting for her eyes to lay itself upon him before tipping the bottle onto his mouth and pouring the blood into his mouth and drinking it. He was satisfied when her eyes widened in horror._

" _No..no..no…" _

_Patrick continued smiling, his tongue licking about his lips, clearing up any excess droplets that he had spilt before saying, " Now it's your turn."_

_He watched Yvette's eyes bulge out in terror, her head whipping back and forth but stilled by the hand that had never released in the first place. He continued smiling as he tipped the bottle, allowing the flow to be uncontrolled as the dark liquid flowed from the bottle into her protesting mouth, choking her, drowning her, staining her. Her struggles soon stopped after awhile even when the bottle was not totally empty, the fight going out of her._

"_No..no..no.." She whispered brokenly, the betrayal showing in her emerald eyes as her body retched and she laid there like a broken doll. Patrick released her face and after second thought, the bonds that kept her immobile on the four poster bed, smiling in satisfaction by what he had done._

_He walked towards the small bar that he kept in his room and poured himself a glass of brandy. He sipped slowly on his drink, enjoying the rich taste of expensive liquid burning it's way down his throat, washing away the taste of fresh blood as he watched in amusement as Yvette curled in onto herself, her red gown slipping high up her legs, revealing long, slim thighs, still muttering words brokenly, her eyes flat with none of the earlier fight._

" _What should I do with you?" He said loud enough for Yvette to hear, eliciting more strangled whimpers and an effort to get away from him. He laughed, his eyes alight with amusement when an idea popped into his head._

" _What do you know? Maybe you would prove useful for me. I wonder what would your child look like? Your silky black hair and emerald green eyes with my intellect and some genetic manipulation. I think I would have the most perfect specimen. Yes, that would be your payment for not killing you, yes, yes, that would be befitting for someone who turned me down."_

" _What do you say Yvette? I remember you saying that you would love to have a child, I could provide you with one. What do you think? Aren't I just the genius?" Patrick said, before bending down and pressing a hard kiss onto Yvette's unwilling lips. She moaned under his touch, wriggling to get away but arousing Patrick more and more till everything logical flew out his mind and out of the window, leaving just lust and need._

Patrick grinned at that particular memory, she had been so sweet, her flesh as smooth and soft as a baby and so tight, even after the many times that he penetrated her. He had enjoyed her again and again, never wanting to stop, not caring about her unresponsiveness, her floppy rag doll body. He had raped her till he was bored of her.

He remembered too those times when he could afford a luxury flat, a sports car, everything that had been provided by the Clyne Company because he had been their leading scientist then. It was also the time when Meng had been his assistant, where the both of them had created a way to tweak with Nature's hand. Their work had been the main cause of the war between so called Naturals and Coordinators. He had revelled in that thought, felt that all mightiness as people had acknowledged his work as important enough to make them fight over each other.

Patrick had one goal and one goal only, and that was to be acknowledged as the world's greatest scientist, the man who had created God. And now that he had succeeded, he was just bidding his time before the ultimate revelation. He had other plans for his specimen, his so called son that was remodelled with part of Yvette's genes and the name of her boyfriend. The man he had killed and now was using his name for the killing of many others. It was really funny how fate played with everyone's life. What became of Yvette he had no idea, she had escaped somehow and disappeared. He was half tempted to find her and to dispose of her, but now was not the time, he had better things to do.

Like getting rid of his benefactor.

The man who had given no name and no face and was the person who had contacted Patrick through others and the one who funded his research. He was the enigma, the mystery that Patrick wanted to solve. He was also the one who had scorned his experiments, laughed at his results before finally using it himself because of the reputation that Athrun had earned through hard work and grit, by killing without failure. He had used Athrun a few times too and was always satisfied with the results. But, he had never once revealed his face, nor let drop anything important, not any lead that could lead Patrick to who he was.

And Patrick hated it.

Patrick did not know what his benefactor was up too, he was too secretive about everything, but the things that he had asked Athrun to prove to him had been a test. That much Patrick could tell. He had been testing whether Athrun lived up to his expectations, and it made Patrick fiercely proud that Athrun had indeed succeeded in convincing that cynical bastard that what was rumoured about him was totally spot on. Patrick could feel that there was something brewing and he had heard that Plants was planning an attack on Earth but when and where and why was unknown. The atmosphere whenever Patrick went out for some fresh air and to listen to gossip was tense, it felt that it was about to fall apart anytime soon. The majority of the people here were unwilling to fight, they did not want to go through the pain of losing something precious to them again, and maybe that was why Plant had yet to go through what it had been planning to do.

Patrick had a hunch that was where Athrun came in, but it was merely a hunch that could prove to be nothing more than what it was. A hunch. He pinched the bridge of his nose, a habit that he yet to get rid of when he was thinking about something that was cumbersome. He enjoyed the challenge but it was darn frustrating when there was so little to go on. But, it did not matter, time would soon reveal what he wanted to know, and it was going to be soon. He rubbed his hands together in glee before getting up from where he had been sitting and walked towards his bedroom to get some rest and sleep before waking up later to work on his device. It was going to be another great day.

* * *

Author's note : This is a guilty update, since I've been MIA for so long. It's a bad things being in a place with no Internet services and I sincerely apologize for making all of you wait. I promise with yet another month I'll be back to civilization after my dreaded finals. So please enjoy. 


	8. Puppets

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Six : Premonition_

_**Athrun reached out a slim hand, an artist's hand, to brush gently at her tears, drying it, but only he knew that she was being branded by a devil. **_

" _**Save him." She screamed knowing that the wounded was drifting away, his life essence flowing and creating a pool of crimson around him, dyeing his clothes layers and layers of dark red.**_

"_**Could she be my twin?" Kira mused out loud**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Seven

Puppets

It was morning, the sun was up and the birds were chirping. Dearkka Elsman and Yzak Joule looked at their room for the past few years and wondered if they would ever be coming back to this room. Dearkka, his right hand holding his duffel and the other an envelope watched Yzak before nodding. Yzak understood and walked out the room without a backward glance. They were embarking on a new journey, leaving the old for the new, where it would lead them, he had no idea, but there was nothing else to do except to move forward, especially in a world like this and being the person he was. Staying in one place would mean that Patrick's people would find him, he had stayed too long anyways, no matter how comfortable his life had been, he should have gone long ago. This was a perfect opportunity to do so.

" Yzak, I need to stop at Nana's room first, slip this under her door." He said, indicating the white envelope in his hand. It was filled with bills and a letter written by Dearkka explaining their abrupt departure and telling Nana that they would be all right, that she need not worry needlessly. Miriallia Haww had called her that, Nana, and the name had stuck between the three of them. He walked slowly, trying for the last time to remember the details.

The home was shabby and run down, needing quite a few repairs and replacements. But, that had not mattered then, it was home to them three. With every corner he took, every stair he mounted towards Nana's room, he could feel the memories that had been ingrained into the house flowing back into him. He saw themselves three years ago, when they had found this place. His and Yzak's poor carpentry, their lopsided but well meaning attempts to fix the place, despite Nana's protests. They had tried to give what they had taken but Nana had been kind, she refused to accept any money insisting that she would be all right on her own meagre sum she made by cleaning other people's house. She would say that and smile, ushering them into her living room for something to eat, she had been like that, a mother hen always clucking at her brood, taking care of them, loving them.

Dearkka could not help but to blink back the tears that was forming in his eyes, he was not one to show vulnerability, he was more of the "hey look here, I'm macho" kind of person. Crying did not bode with him well, but the tears seem to come against his will. He thanked his lucky stars that Yzak was not with him. Dearkka did not need yet another person to feel guilty because of the emotions that he showed. He knew indeed that Yzak was thankful they were leaving, he somehow knew that Yzak was afraid that his past would catch up with him soon, that he had lingered too long in the same place, that was why he had been restless for the past few months. His thoughts accompanied him the whole way to Nana's room and only broke off when he realised that he was there already.

He sighed, a silent one, before he bent down, slipping the envelope under the slits of her door. He whispered a prayer, one that he did not know who it went to because after living on the streets for so long, one cannot help but to think that there was no one who took care of them except themselves. He hoped truly, sincerely that she would find happiness, that she would not miss them, that she would be all right, promised that he would come back when they had found their own niche in the world, that they would remember her always. There was so much to say to the woman who had in her own way taken care of them the best that she could and the endless gratitude that he felt. Nana was the mother Dearkka never knew or had but here he was going away like a thief, leaving nothing more than a piece of paper and a bundle of bills.

" Goodbye Nana, I wish that we had more courage to face you, to face Miri, if we did, none of this would have happened, and that we would still be here with you, helping you, trying to make your happy, irritating you anyways." Dearkka smiled as he remembered a particular scene when Miri had tried to bake Nana a birthday cake but instead nearly set fire to the kitchen where else Dearkka had been stupid enough to think that alcohol was liquid and that it would help put out the fire and not the other way. He had learnt that day, with singed hair and burnt clothes. Nana had been furious but her anger gave away soon to laughter and they had all joined in, infected by her laughter at the stupidity of their actions.

" Thank you Nana." He whispered before turning away, slipping back into the shadows that were around the house, comforted by the partial darkness that would hide his tears from the light. He was a big boy, he did not cry. He did not notice the door opening and a hand, a hand that was wrinkled and dotted with age spots reach out as if wanting to pull him back but stopped halfway, retreating back into the room while the door closed softly.

Nana heaved a silent sob, she had been awake the whole night, awoken by Miri's tears. The house had not been large enough to cover those heart- wrenching cries, the raw pain tearing her apart when she heard it. She had tiptoed downstairs, wanting to comfort the girl, needing to do because of the maternal instincts, but pulled back when she heard Miri talking to herself. She had not heard everything but understood enough to know that the boys had not trusted Miri enough about something and because of that, she had to leave them. Nana had been infuriated and devastated but realised after much thought that who was she to stop them.

Nana was a believer of fate, of destiny. God had been kind to her, He had sent a daughter and two sons for her to take care in place of her family who had perished in the war. She had been happy, she had been contented, she was satisfied. Nana did not want them to go, but there was no choice but to do so. Being selfish on her part would be unfair to those boys, she shared the same viewpoint as Miri, deep in her heart, she knew that those two boys would be something great, somebody powerful, who was she to stop them from walking their own path? What she could hope that they would end up all right, that they would be safe, safe from no one but themselves and each other. She had a bad premonition with the one that promised great things about them, she feared that they would destroy each other in the end.

" Stay safe Dearkka, Yzak, do not let yourself be dragged down by power, find Miri and keep her sound. Remember this old woman some time when you have nothing else to do." She whispered with no one to listen except this old house and the envelope that she was griping hard in her hand.

Dearkka went back down the way he came up and found Yzak waiting as patient as he could by the front door. His icy blue eyes looking up at Dearkka when he came down like a hawk, eyes questioning, searching for something even Dearkka had no idea about. He looked back at Yzak quizzically but he just turned away without saying anything, a wall closed down upon his emotions, locking them away, protecting them like a fortress. Dearkka had no idea whether that amused him or hurt him more, the latter seemed much more apparent than the former and he understood how Miri felt that night when they had refused to tell her the truth.

" What are you thinking about Yzak?" He blurted out, regretting it immediately because he knew it was said purely out of need rather than logical thought. He knew that Yzak would merely shrug off the question and that it would stay that way until that one day where Yzak could finally open up to him.

He was not disappointed when Yzak merely ignored him and walked out the front door like a person who had not lived in that same house for the past three years. As if he had nothing to do with the people that had been there, Nana, the memories wiped dry just in an instant when he had made up his mind to go. Dearkka wondered how much that he meant to the silver haired boy but dared not ask. The things that they had been through in the past, was it nothing more than a figment his imagination?

Yzak walked on, noticing the quiet Dearkka. He could guess what Dearkka was thinking but was not willing to say anything. He did not want to, afraid to hear what he did not want to say. He has a habit of hurting people that was close to him, people that had the ability to hurt him back. He was that vulnerable but he kept that vulnerability away and hidden by a sharp tongue, high walls and barb wires. Yzak understood that the way he was acting could most possibly drive Dearkka away, but he did not dare act otherwise. He was a coward and he did not want to lose something that he loved, but most of all he did not want to lose himself. He wanted to know that he belonged to himself and to nobody else, not even Dearkka, not now.

" _You'll never escape, you'll always be mine." _

" _No! Shut up! Bastard! Zala let me go!" Yzak shouted, struggling against his bonds, but everything was in vain. He looked in horror at the advancing men, they were grinning, they were laughing. And all of their attention was on him. Yzak knew what was coming, and he closed his eyes, not wanting to know, but most of all not wanting them to see his tears._

Yzak finger's fisted together forming a fist, his anger bubbling to the surface but suddenly everything dissipated when he heard Dearkka's voice, soft as a whisper as he gently pried Yzak's fingers apart before slipping his digits into his hand, his palm warm and soothing against Yzak's.

" You are you." He said, smiling as the both of them walked down the street towards their new destinies. Yzak managed a slight smile, his eyes showing the gratitude that he was not able to speak out and Dearkka understood. He was not about to start doubting his feelings, he had to believe unless proven otherwise. Yzak's hand tightened in Dearkka's grip, thankful that one of them was brave enough to do the chasing. He was learning, not fast enough, but at least he was trying to learn.

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Miriallia Haww woke up to a strange vibrating sound, a jerk and someone calling her name. She blinked sleepily, feeling sore everywhere, her brown eyes widening to the point of bulging when she saw what was outside the window.

" It's so beautiful!" She said in awe at the scenery outside. Green swaying trees, the fresh sunlight that burst through the clouds that shimmered on the blue green waters of the sea. Colony 5 was a dead colony, people who lived there could only imagine the things that were in other places. They were poor, hungry people who had nothing to look forward to and everything to blame for their misfortunes. They were the remnants of broken families, victims of war and people who wanted to hide from others.

" We are now in Orb." Athrun Zala said, his face impartial as always, looking from behind those sunglasses of his.

" This is Orb?" Miri asked, her fingers splayed at the window, admiring everything, taking in everything. She could not believe that she had landed in heaven even when she was alive. " Where are we going in Orb?"

" I'm afraid that this is where we would part. I have business to attend to and you…I think you have other places to go than to follow a stranger, ne?"

Miri fell silent as her ears picked up the noises of other passengers leaving the shuttle. What Athrun said was right, she was nobody to him, it was out of the blue that he and her had met, there was no reason to stay with him anymore. She looked out at the window, she had no money, just the duffel and she had no idea where to go.

" But…" Athrun trailed off as Miri looked expectantly at the him, " you could stay around for awhile until you find what you are looking for. Just do not get in my way." He said before adding his name, " By the way, I'm Athrun Zala."

Miri stared in shock at this Athrun Zala and finally when her numbed mind processed what he had said, her face broke into a smile. She would not get in his way, she would not be a baggage for him, she would find her own place and when she did, she would repay him. Yet, all those she did not say out loud, she merely said a simple thank you and followed him out of the shuttle and into the sunlight.

It was a new beginning and an end for Miri.

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Kira Yamato watched the fly buzz around his room before finally exiting through the window that he had left open the night before. His eyelids felt heavy and eyes sore. He knew that he probably looked like hell as he had no sleep the night before, staying up to think about the dream that he had. It had felt impossible to fall back into slumber after and Kira half blamed himself for thinking so much. He groaned as he sat up, the room spinning, his body felt sore and restless, protesting that they needed more rest but he forced himself away from the bed and into the living room of Nicol's small apartment.

" Nicol?" He called out to the silence of the whole place, slightly unnerved by the quietness of it all. It was highly unusual for the place to be silent, Nicol Amalfi was an early riser and a stickler for schedule. It was 9 in the morning and it was this time that frying eggs, toast and freshly brewed coffee would be concocted in the kitchen, the smells heavenly and normal.

But, today it seems that Nicol had either overslept or found something better to do with his time as there was no cooking breakfast and no Nicol either. Kira walked towards Nicol's room and pushed open the door that was already ajar. He walked into the room, half afraid of what he might find as paranoia had set in after the things that Nicol had told him. He walked cautiously around the room, noting the made up bed which either meant that Nicol had not slept in or that he was out and about, and the bathroom that was empty. Kira stared in confusion at the room, wondering where in the world was Nicol when the phone suddenly rung, startling him and making him jump.

" Hello?" Kira spoke into the phone, his brow furrowing as he tried to make out what the other person on the other end was trying to tell him, the line unstable and filled with static.

" Nicol? Is that you? Where the hell are you?" Kira near shouted into the phone when he finally deciphered what the person was trying to tell him and the heaviness in his heart lifted immediately.

" I'm currently out, there's breakfast on the table in the kitchen. I'll be back in a few hours. I have a few things to settle before I head home. The car is in the garage, if you are up for classes, just go and remember to come back for dinner." Nicol said, fingering the item that he was currently looking at. The conversation lasted another minute before Nicol disconnected the call. He thanked the old lady that was standing patiently at her stall before walking away, making up his mind that he did not need yet another chopping board as the one at home was still in a good state.

He was at the market, buying some groceries to replenish the lacking ones at home and taking a breath of fresh air after being coped up for so long in the house yesterday, searching for clues but finding none. It was a good way of putting away some of his frustrations, grocery shopping took some of the tension out of his life. He had always been somewhat like a homebody. He loved cooking, liked the way time ceased to exist when he was doing something he liked, he enjoyed the way people lighted up when they ate his food, the food that he had put much effort in creating that certain dish. To him, cooking was an art not a chore and that was why he was a caterer.

Nicol continued walking down the street, avoiding puddles of water and looking out for the things that he was interested in. Other than cooking, he loved playing the piano, the rich sounds that emitted from his softly tapping fingers on the white and black keys, playing out his current emotion so perfectly. But, that was so long ago, it belonged with the days with Meng sensei. Nicol had not bothered getting a piano, knowing that his apartment would not fit and there would be not much time to do so. His catering business was at it's peak and it was a hectic job preparing food for many.

" Apples, apples, lovely red apples. Hey handsome, come buy some apples from me!" A woman shouted, her voice once musical, hoarse now after years and years of peddling, beckoned towards Nicol to come inspect her wares. Nicol was tempted to decline but something about the way the woman moved, the way her eyes darted around her made him curious.

" How much?" He asked the woman, picking up the indeed rosy apples that looked so juicy and crunchy.

" A dollar for three." She answered, her emerald green eyes looking over the young boy in front of her, he reminded her of somebody, of someone long ago, the gentle way he spoke, the way he gestured, he reminded her of a certain past that her memory no longer could dig up.

" But that is too cheap. You have really excellent apples and the way you are selling it to me, you'll never profit!" Nicol exclaimed, his green eyes widening, protesting at her lack of business skills.

" I need money for nothing, I need nothing for this life of mine. There is just so much that money can do for a person but there is so much more, no boundaries in fact that a person would do for money." She answered, her emerald greens eyes far away as her hair once ebony black now streaked with white flickered slightly in the wind, mesmerizing Nicol who stood there staring at the woman whom seemed half mad.

" I'm sorry, but I do not understand what you are trying to tell me." Nicol said, his hands putting the apple back to it's usual place before backing away. He did not need the extra burden, extra name to his own. They had used to call him crazy, the way he had tried to tell others that he could heal, if only they trusted him. They had used to call him names, green haired monster, freak, everything under the sun. Those ignorant people had tried to kill him because he could not, he did not want to heal an evil man that plundered into other people's property and tore it to shreds. He did not want to relive a past that he had escaped and so he backed away from the emerald eyed woman.

" You remind me of someone I know long ago," He heard her whisper even as he turned away and tried to walk away.

" You remind me of a kind man who tried to stop a monster. He tried to warn me, tried to tell me that he was dangerous but I was a fool then, I was a fool to listen to the devil's sweet nothings. I had a boyfriend, I had a boyfriend that was killed because of him." The woman's voice carried over the din of the market, hushing everybody that was near her, she was near screeching and the noise hurt Nicol's ears. She had started shouting when she saw that Nicol was walking away.

" Tell that person I'm sorry. Tell Meng I'm sorry." She shouted over and over again as Nicol stopped right in his tracks, his eyes widening in disbelief when he heard the name of the man he had thought of as a father. But before he could react, the townspeople who were highly unnerved by the whole incident had called for the police. Nicol could only stare at the blue uniformed men who took a now subdued woman towards the car that was already waiting.

" No wait!" He called out, running back towards one of those men. " Wait! I have something to ask her!"

" I'm sorry sir, but it would be better to leave her alone. This has not been the first time that she has reacted that way, it always ends up the same, the same words, the same dialogue, triggered by only what she is able to see. We tolerate her because she is harmless most of the time, but when she gets like this, people are afraid, they are scared that she would be one of those crazy woman who goes around shooting people, they call her the witch lady. It would be the best to stay away from her. We are sending her home, right now." The man took the time to explain kindly to the shocked Nicol who stood there staring as the car reversed out of the space that it was parked into, beeped once and twice to inform the people in front to be aware before speeding off.

" Meng. She knew Meng sensei." He muttered under his breath, his thoughts wholly focused on what had happened, totally forgetting about the things that he was supposed to buy. He looked around him, wondering who he could ask about the whereabouts of this house of hers, this witch lady, but the people seemed to have forgotten the whole incident, putting it behind them in a blink of an eye. Nicol did not know whether to stir up unnecessary trouble or to follow his instincts to ask about this woman who could provide him with more information about the devil that she had talked about just now.

And after some thought, he chose the latter.

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Cagalli Yula Athha stared at the documents in front of her in distaste. It had came in just this morning and everything swam in front of her, blurring in and out of focus. Hinata Yui had asked her if she was all right and she had just smiled in response. There was nothing of substance that she could say to Hinata that would not provoke her questionings and that concern of hers. It was nice to be cared for, especially when you are alone but there is so much of comfort that someone could take from a person before it choked you.

Cagalli resumed her task in looking at the highly classified files in front of her, Hinata by her side as her counsel and one other council member, Taylor Madison as yet another woman whom she trusted more than the others, a brilliant strategist. She was currently now in the midst of discussing the further projects to approve for Orb among all those that were sent in.

" Representative." Taylor called out softly, her eyes as sharp as ever noting the dark eye circles around the younger blonde's eyes, piquing her interest.

" I'm sorry, where were we?" Cagalli asked abashed.

" I was wondering if there was any problems about Orb's financial situation. It seems that are rumors that the Clyne Company is planning to pull itself out of Orb." Her eyes looking back and forth between Cagalli and her secretary, waiting, watching their reactions carefully, unwilling to miss anything. Her sources were usually correct and they were highly paid for being so.

" How did you get this information?" Cagalli asked coldly, she knew it was futile to protest because she knew that Taylor was not one to ask unheeded questions, she did not waste time on stupid questions. She wanted answers and it was better if the questioned provided with what she wanted to hear.

" So it is true then." Taylor said, her voice stating nothing, no triumph, no victory just the plain bare fact as she sat in front of the young Representative that she had grown to like but was just another liability for Orb. Her informants were usually people who stayed in the background, twiddled with computers for a living and would prove to be not much of a fight on land but in the cyber space, that was a whole different thing.

Taylor Madison loved computers, they were her whole life. She lived and breathed computers because they did not lie and because she just loved hard cold facts. People were merely pawns in her life and she could not have cared less if any of them were sacrificed. But other than computers, she loved Orb. She was a woman without sentiments, but Orb was different, it was a place that she had called home, a place that allowed people like her to prosper without needing something back. And now it seems that a certain Lacus Clyne was trying to pull the carpet under her feet and she would be damned if she tripped.

" Yes it is true."

" What are you going to do about it? Why was the council members not informed about it? Why was I not informed about it and had to go through other channels to obtain this particular information?"

" Are you interrogating me Taylor?"

" No, with all due respect, I was merely concerned about the whole situation and it would be better if we were paying more attention to it than emotions. May I guess correctly that you were trying to prove to us that you are capable of handling this matter in order to get our approval?"

Cagalli stared at the unassuming woman with mousy brown hair that was seated calmly in front of her, her face flushing a deep red. She did not appreciate the way this meeting was going through but she was not about to back down, she was the Representative and she would be responsible for her actions, even if it meant that it were to stomp on her pride.

" Yes in fact that actually occurred to me, there is that reason and the other small fact that you seem to be missing here. It seems that there are many more under Lacus pay here and are not at all loyal to this Orb government. I appreciate it if the situation did not get out of hand, I do not intend to cause a certain war in between us, not when most of the council members refuse to cooperate with me half the time, this is a perfect opportunity for those who are dissatisfied to rear their ugly heads and attack."

Taylor contemplated Cagalli's speech and nodded once, understanding her point. " And what are you going to do about this whole situation?" She asked once more before adding yet another sentence on second thought.

" And if you are so afraid that there are other spies, why aren't you afraid of me?"

" Should I be?" Cagalli asked back, her amber eyes calm, but behind that curtain, her heart was racing, she knew that it was a stupid question but she needed to trust her judgment, she needed that confidence.

Taylor looked straight at Cagalli, her eyes fierce and protective, like a mother protecting her territory, her child, before saying, "" No. Orb is my home and I will protect my home."

The room fell silent after Taylor's confirmation, not an uncomfortable one as the three women whom had different opinions and loyalties but shared the same love for Orb sat in each other's company, a bond forging between them. They understood their priority.

" I think it would be better if I explained it instead of the Representative." Hinata was the first to speak from where she was standing, dark eyes staring back into the round glasses of the other woman, continuing from the earlier question that Taylor posed. " May I?"

" Please do."

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Montage Dirge swirled the red wine in his glass round and round, watching it distractedly as he listened to yet another two more council members of Orb talking among themselves as if he were not there. He despised their attitude, but there was nothing he would do to stop it. People tend to glean more information about certain things when they are unnoticed.

" The Representative is making a mistake in trusting that Hinata Yui so much." One said while the other nodded in agreement.

" She holds too much power and knows too much. Something must be done in order to counter that."

The two council members who spoke were respectable people who led picture perfect lives, affected by nothing, not even the war or the famine that had struck not so long ago. Both of them were in their mid forties and the both of them descended from rich families, old families that smelt like money. They had escaped the war the same way they escaped everything, through money. Money was the only reason why they were here in the first place, they were none too loyal to Orb, none of them cared if Orb were to fall, as long as Orb made them money, this was where they stayed. Montage took a minute to survey them both.

The right was Peter Jones. General Peter Jones. An unremarkable man in appearance, with a crooked nose which was broken one too many times during his prime, misshapen and a mere lump on his face. His build was like a bear's, huge and looming over others under his six feet seven, his hands and legs too long for his body. His hair once sandy brown now white and thinning in all but the appropriate places, all in all he was the beast to the beauty that was sitting in front of him.

Zadie Christopher. Blue eyes and blonde hair. The all American beauty without brains. A model before she was forced into early retirement by the Christopher family and thrown into the cruel game of politics. Her usual quotation being the all innocent "What?" followed by the batting of her incredibly huge baby blues. She followed the crowd wherever it turned or whenever it suited her needs the most. She was more obsessed about her looks, her nails and her body more than anything else. But if someone underestimated her, she would be on that person in a flash, thanks to the man who was standing behind her. He was the brains behind everything Zadie was supposed to handle.

The puppeteer and his puppet.

Montage Dirge knew how the others thought of him, the man with only the loud voice, the brash arrogant man who thought about nothing except himself. He chuckled silently as he allowed them to think that way, making it easier for him to stay hidden, to stay unnoticed before he was ready to strike.

But this was where he came in, he had a brash arrogant image to keep.

" Why in the first place are you so against Hinata Yui?" Montage asked curious, his hand still swirling the wine. He allowed himself to babble a little, brag a little to fill in the silence and to cover the main question that he had conveyed to the two people who were seated to his right and left.

Both of them started at his voice, clearly indicating that both of them had indeed forgot about him being there. Montage did not know whether to feel annoyed or rejoice that his skills of staying hidden was above average and had not declined after many years of non usage but he could not deny that he was amused. The only person who regarded him with suspicion was the white haired man behind Zadie.

" You gave me such a fright." Zadie said, her eyelashes fluttering, hand patting delicately at her chest. " Why in the world are you being so quiet all of the sudden. You are more…" Her hand waved about, her brow furrowed as she tried finding the word that she had currently forgotten and as if by doing so she could pluck it out of the thin air.

" Loud?" General Peter Jones volunteered, his eyes fixated on Zadie's generous bosom that she displayed for all to see. Montage could have laughed out loud at their actions except that he was too wary of the man behind Zadie. He was only known as Angel, the man who appeared only whenever Zadie was around and disappeared soon after she was gone. He was her shadow and stayed there, observing everything that happened around her, helping her through her daily tasks without much of a complaint. All the council members knew nothing about him, Zadie guarded his identity fiercely, the only thing other than herself that she was fiercely dedicated to. It was a mystery that none have cracked yet since the day he came, and those who had attempted to gave up immediately after they started, staying far far away from him as possible. The consequences too dire for that particular piece of knowledge, they were willing to let the sleeping snake lie.

And that number was increasing with each passing day three years ago, after the war between Coordinators and the Naturals. He was dangerous, Montage's intuition told him and he did not trust that silent enigmatic man, he had yet to give up the search although he was being a lot more cautious. He did not want any more men or women he sent in search for the truth to end up in body bags and in Orb's morgue.

" Don't you think it's getting too far? She's the one after the Representative and where would we stand? Both of them are against the rest of us, look what they have allotted us with. A small office with no view, no extra help…." Zadie said, blue eyes blazing.

" Calm yourself Zadie, I thought you chose to be there? I remember that you said something about wanting to be near handsome men. You are quite near handsome men aren't you? The rubbish collector!" Montage guffawed, laughing at his own crude joke as Zadie glared at him, her face flushing red.

" Shut up you moron. What do you have to say about anything? You are sharing the office next to mine, what are you in charge of anyways?" She asked, wanting to turn the tables, needing to hide her shame.

" Hmm…now that would be a rather hard question to answer now, wouldn't it?" Montage said, his brow furrowing, pretending to be hard in thought for a few seconds before his expression lit up and he clapped his hands, shocking the both of his audience for the second time.

" I know I know. I'm the handsome man that you are in search for. The Representative knew that you were searching for them and had placed me in that strategic place to amuse you. Don't you think that I have succeeded?" Montage smiled at Zadie's look of horror, her mouth opened in a 0 shape, it was too comical.

" She did? How dare she! She could have at least placed somebody better looking like, like…who else is in the council?" Zadie looked at General Peter for help, really believing what Montage had said.

" Now, now, Montage was just joking, the Representative would not do something like that." He comforted Zadie's chest, his fingers opening and closing, Montage need not to think further or to even imagine to know what the General was thinking. He was way past his prime, both in the looks department and in the military but still as horny as ever. His "General" title was merely there because he had been in the war, the Representative graciously allowed him to stay on the council for old times sake. He had to give it to her when she did that, allowing not only for her to keep an eye on him to prevent him from giving her trouble outside and to have another set of hands to do her dirty work. Montage quirked a smile when General Peters had the decency to look away from it, no matter how reluctant when Angel cleared his throat and his red eyes stared dangerously at him.

All in all, the three of them were dispensable, rubbish. And he wanted to keep it that way, he had need for rubbish that nobody wanted,

" People, I have a proposal…."

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Lacus Clyne brushed away the crystals of ice that formed and that lingered on her dress before turning to face the young man behind her, her grey eyes looking at his pale face, sighing as she did so.

" Yukito, I know your name does mean snow rabbit, but that does not mean that you are what you are named."

" I'm all right Miss Clyne, you should think about your own health first." He said simply, his face devoid of any emotion.

Lacus turned away, knowing whatever that she said would not affect this young man, he was her aide, her right arm, but at certain times, she felt as if he was more than that. Lacus had a folder on him, things that had been rechecked a few times before he was allowed to actually take this job and his credentials were perfect, and Lacus did trust him, but that did not mean she understood him. His feelings, his thoughts, all were hidden behind an extremely high wall, but this was not a time to think about things other than the matter that was at hand. All she needed to know about Yukito was that he was extremely good at his job.

Lacus walked towards the centre of the cold storage, wanting to have a closer look at the human bodies stored in it. There were rows and rows of them, men, women, all laying there like meat on a shelf, waiting for one day before they were sold out for use. Lacus could not help feeling the disgust and the horror when she first stepped into this room, this room where the experiments had succeeded.

It was called simply cold storage one. The first big container of soulless puppets. Lacus knew this was the doing of Ishida, he had secretly built this place, renamed the project, classified it and buried it deep in the records. Yukito had managed to dig it up, locate the location and here they were now, "inspecting" the goods. Colony 5. The place where people wanted to hide and bury things.

There were no guards around, there was no need for them, as it had been a hard enough place to find. It was in the middle of nowhere and both Yukito and Lacus had had a hard time finding their way, getting lost countless times, they had nearly given up, Yukito thinking that he had been led on a goose chase before finally bumping into the three buildings by coincidence. The buildings were surrounded by lush forestry and painted in army green to disguise their presence, the tree branches and the wild undergrowth catching their clothing, snagging at them every once in a while, hindering their movement when they attempted to get to it on foot. Their vehicle, the unmarked jeep belonging to Yukito left far away, at where the worn path stopped.

Lacus had no idea why this place existed and how long had it been there. She did not know either who created this bodies, who was responsible for this mass management, she could guess that there were about a hundred of these puppets laying here, naked and frozen, their eyes staring at their counterpart that lay on top of them.

And the most important thing was that Lacus had no idea what these puppets were for and that troubled her immensely. She had an inkling that it was connected to Orb, why Ishida wanted it back but these were nothing of the two categories that humans have given themselves. They were neither a Natural of a Coordinator. Lacus frowned when she walked further into the storage, her eyes searching, looking, observing everything that was around her while Yukito tailed her from behind.

" Miss Clyne, what is it that you are searching for?"

" I don't know. How many storages are there?"

" Three including this one."

" Three. Is there any more that you managed to dig up?"

" No. The information was very well hidden."

" I see."

" Miss Clyne, I think we should be heading back, it's getting late and we would be suspected that we are not where we said we were."

" Don't worry, I have arranged for that person to cover for us."

" But, we still have to head back before evening. There will be a meeting for the Plants members later and you cannot afford to miss that."

" All right." She said, partially glad that she was about to leave too, she could not stand the accusing eyes that stared back at her because she was alive and they were not. She vowed to find out why they existed even if they were nothing to her, she felt as if she owed them that much. It was the price of being alive while the other was lifeless and was not able to do anything to help themselves.

But, just as Lacus was about to leave, something glinted under the light to her left, attracting her attention. She squinted but she could not tell what that thing was, her curiosity getting the better of her, she walked towards it, but when she neared it, a sense of familiarity washed over her. That 'thing' that glinted was a necklace. The necklace was exquisite, made out of white gold and with a single blood red crystal as it's only decoration.

"_Papa, it's beautiful!" A ten year old Lacus said in joy as she admired her image in the mirror with her father smiling and standing behind her._

" _I'm glad that you like it, it's your birthday present. You'll take care of it won't you?"_

" _Of course I will papa!" Lacus said before she buried her head into her father's body, snuggling close, wanting to be nearer to her father that she loved and admired._

" _It's not just a plain necklace Lacus, this belongs to every Clyne generation and the son or daughter that is about to inherit will have it. I want you to have it, you will succeed me when I'm gone."_

Lacus bent down to pick it up with trembling fingers, her mind going blank. She knew why it looked so familiar, why it brought back memories that she had long since forgotten. It was because this necklace, this exquisitely crafted piece was hers. This necklace that was found in cold storage with all it's bodies belonged to her.

And she had no idea how it had got there.

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Author's note : I know I know, I've been quite bad lately, the irregular updates, the holding off of Athrun and Kira meeting, but do bear with me. It's coming up in the next chapter and the following few will be talking about the both of them. I've now more time to really focus on this since my finals are over, thanks for all the support and I hope you guys will enjoy them.


	9. Prey

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Seven : Puppets_

" _**Goodbye Nana, I wish that we had more courage to face you, to face Miri, if we did, none of this would have happened.**_

" _**Stay safe Dearkka, Yzak, do not let yourself be dragged down by power, find Miri and keep her sound.**_

" _**You are you."**_

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" **_You could stay around for awhile until you find what you are looking for. Just do not get in my way."_**

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" _**Meng. She knew Meng sensei."**_

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" _**And if you are so afraid that there are other spies, why aren't you afraid of me?"**_

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_**This necklace that was found in cold storage with all it's bodies belonged to her. And she had no idea how it had got there.**_

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Gundam Seed : Chapter Eight

Prey

Athrun Zala could not help but to smile at Miriallia Haw's pure childlike amazement at Orb, eyes wide, nose squished up at the window of the cab that had been waiting for people to get on, breath fogging the glass slightly. She was just like a little girl who for the first time sees candy, her joy and enthusiastic response somehow made Athrun forget about his own problems for a while. It was good to be able to see somebody's laughter that was not based on other's pain, it was a refreshing thing to experience and very very rare for him.

" Where would we be staying?" Miri asked, her voice coming out a little muffled with her face so close to the window. She still had yet to face Athrun and that suited him fine because he had been using the time in the cab to look through the documents about Kira Yamato. He did not want her to ask any unnecessary questions, questions that he did not want to explain nor think about.

" A small bed and breakfast not far from here. We would be reaching in about another few more minutes." Athrun replied, gathering up the papers and putting it back from where he had pulled it out from, the brown envelope rustling attracting the attention of the teenager sitting beside him.

" I'm sorry, I must seem like a country bumpkin to you. Have you been here often?" She asked, a blush creeping up her face, embarrassment evident. Miri cursed her own inattention to the person whom she was sharing the same car with, it did not seem polite to ignore somebody who had just offered their time and accompaniment in a foreign city for her to just forget about him entirely.

" No this is my first time too. I'm here on business." Athrun replied, pretending not to see her blush, providing her with a way out, an easy way to escape the situation. But, unfortunately his simple statement made Miri even more shy, her face blushing even redder with his reply.

" And you are not at all amazed at this place? It seems like heaven after being in Colony 5. Why don't you look at the scenery? Enjoy this place? What business are you here for?"

" To me it's nothing. Beauty fade and everything will soon turn to dust. Why waste my time in enjoying something that I know I cannot have? I will be returning to Colony 5 after I finish what I've come to do. There is no point in me noticing something that I cannot be with." He replied, cynicism like a sharp blade piercing through Miri's balloon of joy.

" I see." She said deflated. She stared down at her hands, no longer soft and smooth from the rough life that she had experienced since the beginning of her life. She was not an orphan, she had lied about that when she had met Dearkka and Yzak. But, it was a white lie, she did not have parents that cared for her, nor did she have any siblings that she could get comfort from, it was her and her alone from the start. Her parents were a disaster from the very beginning, a drug addict for a mother, her husband who constantly drank and gambled, beating both her mother and her when he was in a bad mood or when he had no money to gamble, a man who had too much time on his hands with nothing to do.

When she was young, she remembered seeing some show that was currently showing on television, it was about the trials and tribulation of a family, a normal family. A family whose biggest problem was who was to use the toilet at seven in the morning. Her family was nothing like what she saw on television, they were so different. No loving father, no kind hearted mother who met her children at the door when they finished school. She had prayed, wished and dreamt for a miracle to happen, so that one day she would have a family that she belonged to but, it seems that it was just too much to ask.

_Dearkka, Yzak what are you doing now? Have you noticed that I'm gone? Are you about to come after me?_

" We are here." Athrun said, ignoring the change in the girl, he was not one to comfort a person who was not willing to face up to the harsh reality of the world. The earlier she learnt, the better it was for her to survive. But, the desolateness in her eyes and the way she averted her eyes from her surroundings, keeping them firmly on the ground that was in front of her rippled the calm pool that was his heart. That expression had been on his face before, he understood that pain, that despair, and he had wished then that he had been able to escape that hell, but now he was placing another individual into that place that he had despised. Does that not make him like Patrick Zala?

Athrun frowned a little when that thought occurred to him, his brow creasing slightly as he blocked that niggling sense of disgust that lingered. He picked up his belongings and paid the cab fare, counting out the money and leaving an exact 10 percent tip. He had to be careful with the money, he had not much and now that he had another one more mouth to feed, there might just not be enough.

" Let's go." He said, leaving Miri behind as he walked up the stairs to the bed and breakfast that would be his home for the next few days until he was able to finish erasing an existence. The place was a quaint retreat from the city where the airport was, a half an hour's drive into the countryside that was peaceful and simple in it's beauty. Trees surrounded the place, creating a green blanket with flowers as it's decoration. Red, blue, yellow, all blooming at this time, patterns that was randomly placed by Mother Nature's hand.

" Welcome!" A middle aged lady with a kind smile appeared from the room that was behind the front desk when the door bell tinkled as Athrun opened the door. She was wearing an apron above her blue skirt and a white blouse. She looked so much like Nana that Miri could feel the tears welling up in her eyes, the thought of never seeing Nana, leaving without saying goodbye and thank you haunted Miri. She did not know when she would ever go back, or whether Nana would still be there when she did, she blinked back the tears that threatened to embarrass her once more in front of this cool and collected teenager and forced those thoughts back where they came from, it was not the time to think about her problems, she had wanted to move forward and thinking about the past would not help her a bit, but, the heavy weight of loss and grief remained, reminding her.

" How many rooms young man?" The woman asked, looking at the both of them, still wearing that warm smile on her face as she opened the thick book in front of her and grabbing a black pen from the cup that overflowed with other junk; paperclips, pencils, rulers and some other unrecognizable things. Her eyes, a warm brown looked back and forth as Athrun contemplated his options and did some calculations in his head before answering with a smile, his eyes still hidden behind that black glasses that he had on earlier.

" Just one thank you."

" I see. A holiday with your sweetheart?" The lady teased as Miri burst out coughing, the absurdity of the comment making her swallow her saliva the wrong way. She thumped at her chest but could not stop the urge. Athrun took up his role as the so called "boyfriend" and gently led her to the couch that was not far away, gently guiding her to the seat while thumping her slightly on the back, acting like the perfect couple in love. Miri, through the bouts of violent coughing, could not help but feel amazed at his ability to blend into any role, any environment, he was like a chameleon. This thought scared her in a way that she was not able to explain as she drank the water that was passed to Athrun by the lady whom was staring at them concerned. However, despite that fear, the attention that Athrun gave her touched her, his hands that were still on her back distracting her with their warmth.

Miri took deep breaths, gulping huge mouths of air as her breathing got back to normal as Athrun comforted to her in a soft voice, still petting her on her back, rubbing it to soothe her, but his movements merely made her feel wary as she did not understand the way she was feeling right now, Athrun's touch being so sudden and out of the blue. This prompted her to edge away slightly, hoping that he would get the hint. She was confused on his motive, his reasons on why he did it, or why he felt the need to play the role of her boyfriend and things that she did not understand, she did not trust no matter how seductive it may be. She hoped that her resolve to do so would be strong enough.

" Thank you, I'm better now." She added in case he did not get her meaning, but Athrun had noticed her tension earlier and he reacted the way the she hoped he would, pulling away and putting his attention on the lady at the counter and going through the process of checking in.

" I'm sorry, where were we?" Athrun asked politely, averting the lady's attention back to him and allowing Miri some time to collect herself, giving her space at the same time to regain her composure.

" I'm sorry but did I say something wrong? Is she all right? She isn't sick is she? I mean, do you need a doctor?"

Athrun frowned slightly inwardly, cursing his luck in meeting an overtly curious landlady, he did not need the attention that she's currently giving, she would be able to remember them and he certainly did not need that. It was yet another hassle that he had come to meet since he begun his job on Kira Yamato. But, all his thoughts were focused inside and he did not show anything outwardly. He merely smiled and answered the questions that the lady posed politely, thanking her for her kindness, reacting perfectly like a gentleman, whisking the lady off her feet and into the land of princesses and queens. The attention that he gave her was absolute, on the surface, but Miri whom was watching him from the distance, knew that somehow that he was not there.

Just another pretence, just like what happened earlier.

" There you go, Athrun, it's number 8, just walk down the corridor and turn to your right. It's the best room we have here, and it's still the same price, do not worry. It's a pleasure to have you here. Oh and by the way, my name is Elizabeth. You can call me Ellie if you want." Ellie said, handing over the room key, pointing out the way to the both of them before watching them walk away. She sighed, wishing that she was the girl that was with that young man, he was such a candy for the eye and with such lovely manners too. There was something familiar about the features though, however, she was both too grounded and had too little time on her hands for her for wishful thinking and she went back to her daily jobs without thinking much about that couple.

Both Athrun and Miri walked in silence to their room, Miri behind while Athrun walked in front of her. His pace was fast and confident, while Miri's was slow and unsure. She wanted to ask about the sleeping arrangements, she was not willing to sleep with Athrun and she hoped that he was not thinking about that particular aspect as a payback for allowing her to tag along. Her footsteps got heavier and heavier until they reached their assigned room. Athrun slipped in the key and turned opening the door and walking in without glancing backwards at Miri, leaving her standing outside the door.

" Are you about to stand there the whole day?" He called out, his voice emotionless telling Miri nothing. Her hand unclasped and clasped, again and again, fingers trembling as her brain started imagining things that happened to people of different sexes. Miri shook her head violently, dispelling those unsettling thoughts before taking a deep breath and walking into the room. What she saw then made her breathe easier and she relaxed imperceptibly.

" I'll take the floor." She blurted out as Athrun looked up from what he had been doing and nodded just once, agreeing with anything that she wanted. He took off his black shades and put it on the table, turning to look at Miri, his emerald green eyes intense and strangely void of any emotions. It was like a pool of water frozen thick on the top, impenetrable with many hidden secrets that swam underneath. Miri looked shocked at his beauty, she had known that he was handsome, but nothing about him prepared her for the intensity of his eyes.

" You are beautiful." She said without thinking, face flushing a deep beet red when she realized what she had done. " I'm sorry." She improvised, turning her head away from his face, that eerily perfect porcelain face.

" Don't worry about it. At least you have been honest, but I have a warning for you. Do not fall in love with me Mirallia Haww."

" What are you talking about!" Miri spluttered, shocked at Athrun's abrupt sentence before turning her head away, a guilty act, not wanting him to see her admiration and what was the beginning of an infatuation of this mysterious person that she had just met. Miri tried hard to quash that feeling, that peculiar feeling of wanting to know more about this boy, that want to own him. She blamed his eyes, that pair of emerald green eyes that she seemed to drown in.

Athrun stared amused at her reaction, it was normal, it was something that he was used to. Yet another foolish female, but this time he would encourage it, he would make her fall in love with him, and then use her feelings to get what he wanted. The warning earlier was just something to create an adverse reaction, tell somebody not to do something and that things would happen anyways and so he repeated once more, a curse upon the innocent and naïve girl that had the unfortunate fate to be yet another one of his pawns.

" Miriallia Haww, do not fall in love me. Do not fall in love with a Shinigami. It would be the death of you."

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Nicol Amalfi went home with bags and bags of groceries and a determined look on his face. Kira Yamato met him at the door, holding it open for him to come in so that Nicol could do so without spilling any of his overflowing bags of groceries on the floor.

" Welcome home." Kira said cheerfully, munching on one of the fruit bars he found in the cupboard. His appetite had increased dramatically since the past few days, after the incident about the images to be exact. Nicol barely heard what Kira said and nodded absentmindedly as his way of noticing Kira's presence. Kira looked at him curiously, instinct telling him that something had happened when Nicol was out shopping.

" What happened?" His voice was nonchalant, but Nicol's sensitive ears could detect a slight tension behind that calm. His mouth quirked up into a slight grin placed there to comfort before turning around to face the younger boy.

" Nothing much. I'll tell you about it later. Have you eaten your breakfast yet?"

" Yes. Still hungry though." Kira replied sheepishly, but his brown eyes were still looking intently at Nicol. Nicol sighed, he knew he was not about to escape with a 'just nothing'.

" I met somebody who knew Meng sensei and Patrick Zala earlier in the morning at the market. She was selling apples and the people there told me that she's mad, but I have a different explanation, I think she was traumatized by a past that we have been searching for. She may be able to provide some answers to the questions we have to ask her." Nicol said, closing the front door Kira had left open.

" She knew both of them?"

" Yes."

" And the people says that she's mad?"

" Yes."

" How are you about to trust what she says?"

" It cannot be such a coincidence that a woman knows the both of them. She said that she was sorry that she did not listen to Meng sensei, that she should and she was apologizing so profusely." Nicol said, his mind replaying the events that happened earlier. Her screams were filled with pain and remorse that it still hurt his ears, she must have suffered the past few years, the past holding her conscience in a death grip.

" She must know something for her to turn out like she did, I plan to find her later this afternoon. The police knows where she stays, I can get the information out from them."

" Is it really necessary? If what you said is true, would it help her if we dragged up that murky past that made her mad? If she's been living with that guilt for so long, wouldn't it hurt her more if we appeared out of the sudden to talk about it? Aren't we being a little selfish about this?"

Nicol stared stunned at Kira as what the younger boy said registered in his mind, that thought had not even occurred to him, that he would be hurting somebody else in his search for the truth, his eyes averted his gaze from Kira's steady violet ones. Nicol wanted badly, desperately to know about the past, but if doing so would hurt somebody, would it be the best to leave it alone? But right now, the information could prove crucial for their wellbeing and the safety of others. Surely this could prove to be worth it?

" We need to know, Kira. What if that information could help us? What if that information would save others? Certainly sacrificing one would be better than letting others suffer? Sacrifices are needed to be made for the better of others! What is one compared to the many?"

" Is it?" Kira asked, his voice thoughtful towards Nicol's outburst, but before Nicol could say anything, Kira continued, " Maybe we are thinking too much, let's just take one step at a time, ne?"

Nicol merely nodded in confirmation, his green eyes a murky cloud of emotions.

_Sacrificing one would be all right. Isn't it Meng sensei? _

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Yvette Carpenter looked desolately at the four walls that surrounded her. It was dark, filled with blackness and nothing else. Everything was a void and she was just a little speck that existed in the middle. Where was she? Why was she still here? Those questions haunted her day and night, she knew the darkness was just her imagination, those four walls that she had built in order to protect her from the things that she tried to keep away, it was threatening to collapse under the strain of those many years of hiding behind them. They were the only barrier that kept her from her memories that she tried hard to bury, but at times, those unwilling thoughts would barge in, when a certain event triggered it, like this afternoon when she met that young boy.

She got up from where she had been sitting in the chair in her kitchen, walking towards the window that allowed her the view of the countryside, her cottage was just beside the bed and breakfast that was ran by a friend of hers and she had been the one who had nursed her back to what she was right now after finding her nearly dead so many years before. Elizabeth was her name and she had allowed her to stay in this small hideaway, far from the places and the people who had done nothing when she had tried to tell them about the atrocities that the man Patrick Zala had committed.

Lacus Clyne, she would remember that name forever, she was the one who told them not to believe a raving lunatic, she was the one who pointed her slim finger at her and announced to the world that she was not fit to live, a danger to the citizens who just wanted peace. She had accused Yvette that her stories were all a lie, something that was said to create another war. Patrick Zala had never worked for the Clyne Company and there had not been a death reported, there had not been a Meng working for them either. Her boyfriend's body was never to be found, and for the people to believe her, Lacus had allowed the police to enter the building where all the secrets were buried deep enough for nobody to find.

Yvette had rushed into the building, wanting just reassurance that everything that had happened to her had happened, that she was the victim and not the person that Lacus had so easily claimed her to be, but there had been nothing to be found. The laboratory that had contained Patrick's experiments was cleaned up, empty, devoid of those containers that had contained floating beings in blue liquid, no machines that beeped and whooshed, no chemicals, no papers. The things that Patrick had brought her to see in order to brag were gone, the room that he had lived in and done those unspeakable things to her, gone, sanitized, the smell of the air freshener was the only thing that lingered.

Yvette, after twenty odd years of recuperation, after those long nights of nightmares, could not believe her eyes. But, who was she to kid? Who was she to blame? Everything had happened so long ago, there was no Lacus at that time, those passing time that waited for no one, it was not impossible for someone to have cleaned up everything, to destroy all evidence of such monstrosities. Scientists and their work, they went against the law of Nature, who were they to create something that should not have been created because it defied God? Yvette suffered, but those people, those children, they had went through much much more. Patrick had bragged when she had been tied down, helpless when he defiled her, when he raped her, he had told her his recent results, his ideas. There had been nothing she could do except to listen.

There was nothing for her to live, yet she could not bring herself to kill herself, it would mean that her existence would be erased just like that, she could not get the courage to do so. Her memories, her experience, what was that all about? Was there a reason that those things that happened? What should she have done differently to prevent those tragedies? Meng had been right to warn her, but she had refused to listen, trusting her instincts for danger. She had been burned because she went too close to that fire and the scars would never ever heal.

Her eyes roamed about the peaceful countryside, the greenery that soothed the tired eyes and she sighed. Her apple orchard had been her only joy, the planting of those seedlings so long ago had calmed her, helped her to finally face up to her life. There was something that needed her attention, the watering, the pruning, things that were needed to ensure a healthy tree, a good harvest. She devoted her time to those trees, and they had not disappointed her. Red, juicy apples that were so crunchy and fresh. It was her source of income, the only money that Elizabeth had been willing to accept as rent. Her eyes caressed those trees lovingly and she decided to go out for a breath of fresh air. She had been cooped up in this cottage since the time she had been back in a police cruiser, she glanced at the clock that hung in her kitchen, a long four hours since then, she should go out, only if for a little while to look at her "children".

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Kira Yamato looked sideways at the green haired kind hearted boy who had all this while taken care of him without a single complaint. He watched him manoeuvre the driving wheel, the car sliding in smoothly into the side gate that was open and as they passed by the gate, there was a small white board with four words written on it.

" Elizabeth's bed and breakfast." Kira read out aloud as his eyes looked out of the car window at the scenery outside, eyes tracing the path that led up to the long one storey house that stood alone, it was old but it had been taken care of and it was in a good condition with fresh white paint and beautiful flowers decorating the front porch. There was a small playground and a pond nearby, provided by this Elizabeth for the benefit of the people who stayed there. All in all it was a place for a person to come and unwind after a week's of hard work. Kira loved the place immediately, it's calm and tranquillity affecting him and allowing the past week to fade away.

" Is this woman named Elizabeth?" Kira asked the still silent Nicol, as both of them got out of the car, the noise of the cars closing combining with the chirping of the birds that nested nearby.

" No, her name is Yvette Carpenter. She lives on the other side of the house, but I guess we would stop by the front desk to ask permission to visit her. It seems that Elizabeth is rather protective of Yvette and it would be trespassing if we did go uninvited."

" Okay." Kira said simply, following Nicol's lead up the front steps. This was Nicol's show and he was only there as the audience, it was not up to him to decide anything. He knew that Nicol was doing this for both of their sakes and that was why he had not protested more on this matter, this was up to Nicol and he would stand by his side even if he did not really approve of this method. What Nicol said had a thread of truth in it, some things must be sacrificed in order for the better good, but, that did not mean he agreed with it, but he had to grow up. Those naïve thoughts would not bode well with adulthood and the path that he was destined to take if he was to go up against Patrick Zala.

" Welcome!" A warm voice called out from somewhere attracting both their attention and they waited for that voice to appear patiently by the desk. Both of them took the time to survey their surroundings and what they saw they liked. It was a cosy place with wooden panelling by the walls, a fireplace that was unlit but would provide the warmth in this room when the weather was particularly cold. The wallpaper was simple, not too elaborate which leant a simplicity that could not be seen in the hotels in the city. Kira walked around, unable to stay put while absorbing the details, the layout of the room, he stopped to look at the pictures that adorned part of the wall, noticing that most of them were of beautiful scenery.

" Young man , are you interested in those pictures? A friend of mine took them, she's quite good don't you agree?" The owner of the voice appeared, wiping her hands on the apron that she wore over her simple white blouse and blue skirt.

" It's really beautiful." Kira agreed, taking an immediate liking towards the lady that was standing beside him.

" Now what can I do for the both of you? Do you want a room? This is certainly quite a good day for my business, a young couple just checked in a few hours ago. And they were quite a match I can tell you. The young man is quite the catch I must say, but the both of you are not bad in the looks department either." She chuckled as she noticed the red blushes that appeared on both of their faces and smiled.

" No, I'm afraid that we wouldn't be staying here for the night, but this place is really pretty. Have you been here for some time?" Nicol asked, the need for polite chit chat all of the sudden quite overwhelming, it seemed that he was yet to be ready to find out about a certain past.

" Yes, this business was set up by my mother, she passed away and she left it for me. My husband passed away not too long ago and this is the only thing that has kept me alive all this while. I can't bear to part with it, it contains too many memories for me to leave it in other person's hands. I guess this would be my home and my coffin too." She said shrugging nonchalantly before grinning.

" Did I scare you? Oh by the way, my name's Elizabeth, I tend to talk too much when there are people as you can see, there isn't much around here. People don't tend to come around till the holidays so I get a little lonely at times. Thank goodness for Yvette though. She's the one who took the pictures, she's a lovely woman but some things happened to her that she can't seem to let go, it makes her a little eccentric." Elizabeth's expression darkened when she touched on Yvette, Kira could sense that she cared a lot about this certain person.

Nicol cleared his throat uncomfortably knowing full well that this was his chance for him to put forward his request but feeling quite reluctant to do so, but there was no turning back if he wanted answers, " Actually, that is the reason why we are here, there are some things that we need to ask Yvette, is it all right to drop by her place?"

Elizabeth's facial expression immediately hardened when he mentioned Yvette's name and her suspicion was palatable, " What do you need from her? Are you from the Clyne Company?"

" Clyne Company? No, why should we be?" Nicol asked confused, things seemed to be taking a strange turn.

" If you are not from that evil place then why are you here? What business do you have with my friend?"

" She knows an old acquaintance of mine and there are many things that I would like to ask her." Nicol answered truthfully.

Silence filled the air as the three of them looked at each other, the two boys with earnest expressions while the older woman looked wary. She trusted her instincts and it said both of them meant no harm, but the she did not like what they came here for. Yvette did not need any more hassle from people that had deserted her but she could not keep them away and she was not Yvette's mother. Yvette had to learn to stand on her feet once again and to face up to the past that Elizabeth knew she wanted to hide from, Elizabeth understood why she wanted to run away, but running away left nothing solved, maybe these two boys could provide a closure for that poor woman. After all these years, she deserved that closure.

" All right." Elizabeth said, heaving a sigh and looking a lot older than she did a moment ago, " All right. Her cottage is besides this main building, you can't miss it. Walk along this corridor, there would be a door leading out, you'll see it then."

" Thank you."

" Don't hurt her. She's been through enough." Elizabeth said as her parting words before she went back inside the room behind the desk. Both boys looked at her retreating back for a moment until she disappeared from their sight before either one reacted.

" Let's go."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Miri stared at her face in the mirror, her face still hot from her earlier comments and Athrun's sudden sentence. She could not believe that she was jumping into yet another emotionally charged incident when she had left Colony 5 to escape one. She cursed her feelings but could not ignore them. She could deny the attraction she felt for Athrun, but lying to herself had never made her felt better before. Athrun had left her alone in the bedroom while he went to clean up, the bathroom door too thin to hide the sound of running water. Miri's face heated up again when her mind conjured up images of Athrun's body, the way he moved was like a panther, sleek and powerful. She shook her head to dispel those embarrassing thoughts as she moved away from the mirror to the small bed that Athrun had placed on the floor.

She heaved a contented sigh when her head touched the material, her tensed body relaxing immediately as the tiredness from before washed over her. Miri stifled a yawn as she tried to keep her eyes open, her thoughts getting more and more jumbled and confused. She had to make plans, Athrun had told her that his stay here was merely for a job and he would be going back to Colony 5 soon. She did not want to go back, not now, not when she had yet to find herself, the real Miri. She had a dream once, but the longer she had been with the other two boys, it had faded back into the back of her mind, it was less important than being with family.

Photography. The soothing sounds of the shutter clicking. Miri had always wanted to be a photographer. She had wanted to catch the real story behind the picture, pictures that described what words could not whether it was ugly or beautiful. She wanted to allow others to see what they were missing, she wanted to show them things that they usually do not take time to do so. It had been such a distant dream with no money and no equipment, she had never told anybody about her dream recalling what her mother had once told her when she was very young, when her mother still had some wits around her.

"_A dream is something that will never come true. That is why people have dreams. They have dreams to comfort themselves that life still has it's meanings. I used to have a dream too, I never wanted to end up this way, not like this. I never envisioned myself being a mother to a daughter that I never wanted, I never pictured myself being poor, that is why dreams do not come true. They just fade away till it remains just a wisp of something we yearned for. Remember that Miriallia Haww, do not waste your time dreaming about something that will never come true, you have to face up to the reality, do not let it delude you. This is the only advice that I will give you and the best that I can say to you." Her mother had hugged Miri, then five close to her bosom and cried, the tears burning the young girl's skin as she tried to figure out why her mother was always so sad that she had to hide herself in the white substance that made her crazy, that made her not recognize her own flesh and blood, why her father never bought toys for her, never tried to do things that other father's did with their children._

Miri smiled sadly as she remembered that only time her mother had seemed like a real mother, her hug had been so warm, so comfortable, so safe, a place where a five year could sleep in and wake up fitful as she had done that one time. When she was young, she had found an old picture hidden deep in her mother's closet that she could not believe was her mother. Miriallia's mother had been beautiful once, hazel brown eyes with sleek brown hair that cascaded down her back and curled naturally at the ends. The smile on her face was brilliant, confident, like she owned the world. A woman who had nothing to lose and everything to gain, she had her future paved in gold. Miri thought that she had looked like an angel.

But, that image soon disappeared as time passed. Her mother's hair was no longer brown, no longer long, just short and limp, oily, uncared for and her eyes were perpetually bloodshot from the cocaine she snorted, the withdrawal symptoms haunting her every waking moment when she had not enough cash to buy them. She turned old within days, the confident smile that she wore before lost in time, she no longer had friends, no longer belonged to anything, just an empty house with too many unsettled bills and an abusive, uncaring brute for a husband. Miri had always wanted to ask what had happened, what had went wrong, but there were too many questions that had no answers to, it was a sensitive issue that she never brought up, fearing her father's fist or her mother's tears.

She had left, ran away from that place she had never been able to call home, from the people that were her biological parents, that were supposed to be family but never had been when she was ten, surviving by stealing and scrounging through rubbish bins like a stray. Miri's mouth curled up into a tired smile as she remembered her past, she had never had an education, she could read a little but could not write, did not know the alphabets if they came and hit her on the head. She would not be able to get a job with no certificate, no knowledge except the one she had learnt from the streets. Who would want somebody like her? It would be a miracle if she did not turn out like her mother.

Miri flipped onto her side, eyes staring into the nothingness that she felt incredibly similar to her life, she had to find a job if she were to survive, there were no Dearkka and Yzak now to take care of her, no one to fight on the streets for a bet, no Nana for her to go back to, she had to find a better way to live and soon. She would start later, tomorrow for sure, but for now, she was too tired to think, too depressed to stay awake, she just wanted to hide for a little while where dreams did come true, and with that, she closed her eyes and fell into a deep sleep immediately.

Meanwhile, Athrun looked up into the mirror in the bathroom, the water that he had splashed on his face running down his face's contours and hair, dripping off the edges and back into the sink but some inadvertently ended up on the shirt that he was wearing too, creating patches of darker colours as he straightened to turn around. He grabbed the towel that was beside the sink and rubbed against the material, enjoying the soft terry cloth while wiping off the excess water. There had been no one to hold him when he was young, he had taken comfort in those soft materials around him, pretending just for a little while that it was a mother's warm hug, crying into it when the training had been too harsh for a five year old kid. It had been so long ago, but old habits tend to die hard and it was until now he had this habit.

He replaced the towel back onto it's rack and opened the door, finding the exhausted Mirillia sleeping on the floor where he had been planning to sleep on when she volunteered to do so. He allowed himself a moment to look at her features, still bunched up and sad like in the shuttle, she must be dreaming of the people she left behind. He had noticed her tears earlier when Elizabeth appeared, he had deduced that someone she had held close to her heart looked like Ellie and her appearance reminded Miri of what she had lost.

Athrun walked softly on the carpeted floor towards the sleeping girl, taking care not to disturb her as he picked her up effortlessly from the floor before placing her on the soft comfy bed and covering her with the blankets which she immediately snuggled deeper to be closer to the warmth. She whimpered a little as the demons in her dreams harassed her but thankfully did not wake up, Athrun had realised that she was a heavy sleeper during the short time with her on the shuttle as neither bump or jerk had awakened her from her slumber and so had been confident enough to do what he just did. He stretched and yawned, it had been a long ride and he had not been able to get any rest the night before, he would get some rest after a walk, he needed to scout of the surroundings and familiarize himself with it, just in case something went wrong and he needed a fast gate away.

Athrun picked up his wallet, his mobile and walked out the door of the room, hearing the soft click when it shut behind him. He looked to his left and his right before choosing to take the left as he had noticed a door at the end of the corridor that seemed to lead outside. He slipped his hands into the pockets of his pants and started walking, his eyes fixed to the front but flicking sideways once in a while to check his surroundings. There were pictures on the wall he noticed, photographs of scenery, of children playing but the one that caught his attention the most was the black and white photo with a lone sakura tree. It's petals falling softly, gently, frozen in time by a click of the shutter. It had seemed so peaceful, so tranquil, a place where one could find shelter under those widespread sturdy branches, a place where he knew that even him could find peace.

His hand reached out on it's own accord to touch the picture, as if doing so would allow him to enter that place to rest there forever. Suddenly he felt so tired, he did not want to kill, he did not want to be used by another. He wanted to know who he was deep down inside, who he could be. But, then again, those were wishful thinking, everything was just about to begin, Patrick's plan to reveal him, to help his benefactor do his dirty work. There was no time for rest, no time to think about anything else except what he was made to do. Athrun's fingers stroked at the picture gently, his emerald eyes sad, he was human too, no matter how his creator had wanted him to be, but, his experience had allowed him to learn how to control his feelings, how to hide them effectively, there were two separate entities in him, one human the other a devil.

And, he knew that his humanity was slowly corroding, his thoughts, his actions becoming one with the monster. Soon, he would never be able to turn back, never be able to live without killing. The way his mind thought and planned of using Miri was proof of what he was secretly afraid of. He would leave Patrick when everything is over, that much he would do to repay him and then he would try to live, to forget his past. Yet, his logical thinking told him that that was impossible, nobody could kill and be normal.

Athrun smiled a smile that did not reach his eyes, a smile that was sad and heartbreaking, a smile that knew that he was no longer able to choose where he could tread, where his innocence was long gone as if it never existed as his slim fingers left the picture and he turned to walk away without a backward glance, that short time of being frank to himself, of showing his vulnerability gone without a trace.

Devils do not deserve peace.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira and Nicol walked down the well trodden path towards the small cottage saying nothing, caught up in their own private world. Nicol was the first person to catch sight of Yvette and he picked up his pace as Kira followed suit.

" Yvette?" Nicol called out to the woman who turned in surprise when she heard her name being called out, her eyes widening when she recognized her visitor whom she had seen this afternoon for the first time.

" You."

" I'm sorry to disturb you…" Nicol trailed off, unsure of what to say now that he was here.

" I know what you want. You want to ask me about Meng sensei and Patrick Zala." Not a question but a confirmation.

" Yes. I know that it might drag up unpleasant memories, but I won't be here unless it was absolutely necessary."

" I understand." Yvette looked at Nicol who had spoken earlier before turning towards Kira, all three of them looking at each other, digesting what their outward characteristics told either one of them, all of them absorbed with what was currently happening and none of them noticing the figure that was approaching from the same direction until Kira turned and a pair of bright emerald green eyes locked with his.

The hunter had found his prey.

* * *


	10. Angels and Demons

Previously on _Gundam Seed : Chapter Eight : Prey_

" _**Miriallia Haww, do not fall in love me. Do not fall in love with a Shinigami. It would be the death of you."**_

…………………………………

" _**We need to know, Kira. What if that information could help us? What if that information would save others? Certainly sacrificing one would be better than letting others suffer?**_

………………………………

_**None of them noticing the figure that was approaching from the same direction until Kira turned and a pair of bright emerald green eyes locked with his.**_

_**The hunter had found his prey. **_

………………………………..

Gundam Seed: Chapter Nine

Angels and Demons

" I trust that you will keep me informed, Representative?" Taylor Madison spoke, her eyes glancing sharply at the younger blonde woman seated in front of her as she stood up from where she had been.

" Yes, you have my word." Cagalli Yula Athha promised, her amber eyes staring back, unafraid at the older woman.

" Good. I'm glad that we have an agreement. I shall keep a lookout from my side and I shall tell you whatever that I find. We shall meet again I presume?" Taylor said, silently acknowledging that Cagalli was no pushover and was rather brave for her age. However, that was all Taylor would accept for now for she would judge the Representative through the events that would be occurring soon. She would decide then whether Cagalli Yula Athha was dispensable or otherwise, she would see if the Lion's cub lived up to her expectations.

" Yes. There would be a general meeting to present this later." Cagalli pointed out, her eyes still not leaving Taylor's and it was Taylor who averted her glance at the end. Slightly embarrassed, Taylor pushed absentmindedly at her glasses before nodding to show her understanding of what the Representative's "this" was. She knew that it was the plan that both Hinata and Cagalli had thought of before she had made her presence known. She did not disagree with their plan, in fact she was about to suggest the same thing. She bowed slightly before exiting, a sign of respect towards the both of them as the door whooshed back into place behind her back leaving the other two other occupants in peace.

The silence was broken when Cagalli heaved a relieved sigh after Taylor walked out the door of her office. Her senses were strung tight and she lifted a hand to massage her temples, her eyes relaxing the stern gaze and the wall she had erected to protect herself slowly eroding. The meeting with Taylor had lasted for practically half a day and while the tension slowly ebbed out of the room, her nerves were still stretched taut, making her extremely uncomfortable. Taylor had been supportive, listening silently judging with those intelligent eyes, deciding, making plans, she made a good supporter, asking the right questions, pointing out flaws even slight ones that could have disrupted everything and Cagalli was extremely thankful for that.

But, apart from that, Cagalli was fully aware of what Taylor had been thinking too. She understood very well what Taylor wanted, she was able to read through those sharp glances and those thoughtful silences that Taylor had been using but she would be damned if she backed down, she refused to back down. She would challenge whoever who thought that she was unworthy and she would prove them wrong with time. It was the least that she could do to preserve her seat of power.

" Taylor would help us. She loves Orb the same as us, maybe more, because Orb was the only place to have accepted her. She would never betray Orb." Hinata spoke as if she knew what had been running through Cagalli's head, her eyes still looking at the closed door, thoughtful.

" I know." Cagalli replied to Hinata's observation before closing her eyes as she tried to relax her mind before she tackled the next thing on her agenda. She knew that Taylor would help the next person to overturn her rule if she did not live up to her standards, that much was apparent and she knew without a doubt that she was just another pawn in the game of politics. She would not be so naïve to think that she was invulnerable and she was not as stupid to think that she would not be using others as others were using her. Selfishness was not a problem here. Time was.

Cagalli had lived practically her whole life in the world of politics, she knew what glory and the temptation of power could do to a person and what a person would do to achieve those dreams. It was a vicious world where the strongest lived and the weaker ones got trampled on and eaten alive. She had seen with her own eyes what politics could do, the people that came and went, those who succeeded and glorified and those who were shot down, trampled and left for the dead.

Just like Representative Uzumi Nara Athha. Her father.

It was ironic how different a person's thoughts and wishes could be when they were young. At five, she had a dream, a dream to help the people she had grown up with, to protect them from whatever that haunted them. At ten, she wished that she was just another ordinary girl with no need to play dress ups and to kiss other people's arse. At fifteen, she had hoped that she was dead, not needing to witness the pain and helplessness that she had felt then during the upcoming of the war, the terror of not knowing the future. Of losing the person she loved most, her only dock in the raging seas, her father.

And now, when she was nearing nineteen, she was back to square one or the combination of all the squares that she had went through; the desire to protect the people she loves as strong as ever and the want of being ordinary lurking not far behind. Yet, she was undoubtedly a selfish person, more materialistic and hopefully wiser on how the way the world works. She knew without a doubt that she did not have the ability to protect people she loved if she was powerless, being the Representative meant that she was able to do something, anything. She wanted to help the people of Orb, she did not want to cause a war where more people would die, she wanted a peaceful existence, she did not even need to be somebody extraordinary, just somebody who could protect the ones she loved.

It was that simple.

Yet, in reality it was not.

Amber eyes opened as they stared up at the ceiling, following every swirl and curl that decorated it in gold, she hated that emblem, that extravagance. Hungry mouths could have been fed if that money had been used in other places, houses built, medicine bought, but instead, it was used on her.

Her.

Ignorant people, politicians were, they wanted the best for themselves and yet are not willing to work for it, beauty, money, power. And she was no different. Yes, she was no different, that was why she was never able to give up the seat of power before, no matter what the excuse. She wanted everything.

" Representative?"

" Hmm?"

" Do you trust Taylor Madison?"

" I have no choice, but my instincts tell me that she would be true to us. She will not betray the people who has Orb's best interest in mind. She's powerful but we know her weakness. As you have said earlier, Orb has been the only place to accept her and is willing to forgive her crimes. She owes Orb and therefore she owes me."

" Yes, the cyber net crimes, she was good, she succeeded in nearly launching a nuclear missile at Plants during her stay on Earth. It was at the time of the war wasn't it?"

" Yes. The file we had on her told us that much. It was surprising why the Earth Alliance had not jumped at the chance to own her expertise and it is equally astonishing that they had wanted to persecute her instead."

" I think they had wanted to, but somehow somebody had changed the records, altered the information on her and especially now when people, human beings in general rely so much on computers, it would be hard convincing somebody of a truth when the truth is no longer there."

" But, if she were so dangerous, would it be wise for is to keep her so near?"

" Hinata, we have no choice, we do need more allies on this matter. Frankly, I'm afraid that I would not live up to her standards, that I would be the next one in line for her to shoot down, for her to work with… with people like those on the council who want me gone. It's like sitting on a frying pan and in danger of getting either burnt alive in it or jumping out and getting zinged to crisp. There is no choice of merely sitting tight, crossing our fingers and hope that everything would turn out all right…"

_Darkness._

_Figures._

_A countryside._

Yet, before Cagalli could finish her current sentence, everything around her dimmed and hushed, turning into monochromes of black and white, she could hear Hinata calling out her name frantically, see her frightened eyes, but Cagalli could not move to comfort her companion, she could barely concentrate as the images in front of her changed rapidly, swirled and mixed into one.

A movie on fast forward.

Cagalli, unflappable and stoic normally, was trying hard not to panic as she tried to shake her head, to clear it, to focus but it was as if something was pulling her down, down into a deep abyss of an unknown origin and she was defenceless to do otherwise.

Silence filled her entire being as she sat there immovable, trapped in the essence of time and nothingness, accompanied with those ever changing flow of images. She briefly remembered a time when she was in the same situation and that was during the time she met that brown haired boy and witnessed a murder. Cagalli felt herself floating and weighing nothing, she was just a wisp of spirit that could be easily blown away by a single breath. But, as soon as it happened, the nothingness cleared and the images stopped. Cagalli closed her eyes to steady herself, the whole incident had left her dizzy and when her amber eyes reopened, she was longer in her office, no longer with Hinata but instead was transported to the country side with beautiful scenery. It had been one of the pictures that had flashed past with lightning speed and within it contained two building structures, quaint, ancient but still in good shape.

She turned to observe her surroundings, taking in the greenery, the lush forest and the apple trees that were growing not far from her, smiling as her eyes set on the shy red apples that were peeking from within the green leaves and brown branches. The whole place exuded peace and tranquillity but she sensed something was off somewhere and those emotions were creating ripples, though slight but disturbing the calmness of it all.

Cagalli started to walk, the sense of being there and yet not really existing fascinated and intrigued her. She still retained her actual body shape, her senses, well all her senses except maybe for her sense of touch. She could hear the breeze blowing, the tree branches that danced with it but yet she could not feel anything, it was weird and frightening at the same time.

_I didn't know that the sense of touch was so important. It seems as if I'm no longer here, no longer one with this world. Is this how somebody feels when they are dead?_

Cagalli frowned when that thought crossed her mind and her pace quickened. Her fear, a small but incessant niggling voice at the back of her head at first but as the time passed, it became louder and louder until Cagalli no longer walked, she ran. The fear born from within crushing her from inside, a dead weight that pushed out all logical thoughts, constricting her throat while a scream fought to push through, threatening to choke her. Cagalli could feel her eyes burning, tears that came unwillingly welling up, blurring her vision and it was too late till she realized that there were people in front of her.

_A boy with brown hair, violet eyes staring straight at a pair of emerald ones. _

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Athrun Zala spotted the people that were standing on the path that he was currently walking the same time as the brown haired boy whom was facing his direction when he had turned noticed him. His expression did not change when he saw him but Athrun could sense that the boy was alert to any movement that he made while the other two were still oblivious to his presence. Both of their eyes locked with each other and Athrun for the first time in his life believed in the wheel of fate and the mysterious ways it works.

He looked in astonishment at the boy in front of him, his brain becoming blank all of a sudden, the only thought that he went through his mind was that the picture from the file he had on him did no justice to the person that was Kira Yamato. He fought hard to regain his composure, to regain the impassive mask that he had mastered over the years, it would seem extremely weird if he showed that he recognized the other when both of them have never met before and the only way that Athrun was here now was that he had a job to do.

But, it was hard.

It took every ounce of training in the past for Athrun to remain calm, to not succumb to his sudden whim and to not press his lips onto that angelic face, to break that fragile being that was in front of him. He wanted so badly to run his hand through that brown hair, pull it until Kira's neck was exposed and his back arched only for him. He continued to stare, his eyes hooded behind his bangs as he watched like an eagle, taking in every movement Kira made and said person whom was currently looking straight at him, his expression quizzical but his mouth curving up into a gentle smile, a sign of him saying hello before turning back to concentrate on the conversation that was going on in front of him. Athrun continued to look at his side profile, his brain remembering Kira's eyes, a bright violet that sparkled with life but was currently clouded slightly with the emotion that was being caused by the situation that he was in.

_I want to break you and make you mine._

A gust of wind blew and Kira's hair, slightly longish and curling softly at his shirt collar danced with it as if having a life of it's own, graceful and soft. Athrun's eyes greedily took in Kira's slender form, the slim hands and his chestnut brown hair that shone in the sun and the strands that danced with the wind. Everything around him seemed to dim around his presence, Kira was the main focus of this whole scenery, nothing around him could fight for Athrun's attention then.

_He is perfect_.

Athrun's hands itched to touch those chestnut strands, to tame them, to just run through them, his imagination running rampant just by looking at his profile. He wondered what it would be like for him to lay beside him, to make love to him, to hear him call out his name.

_Beautiful. He is beautiful._

Licking his lips, his interest piqued, Athrun realised what just went through his mind. It was unusual for him to think this way, but this time he knew that this target was different. Athrun could not deny that he wanted to know more about this boy, about this person who was the genius that everybody wanted to own in the future, he wanted to own him and allow no one else to come close to his play thing.

_Be careful, or you'll fall in love._

_Who are you kidding? Fall in love? He will die. But before that, I shall enjoy this sweet morsel._

Athrun snorted at the internal conversation that he just had, it did not make sense that he would fall in love with a person whose value had been stated at one million dollars. His life was worth only that and for once, Athrun did not want to think about consequences, he wanted this boy and he shall put it down as lust. Athrun had no emotions, killers cannot afford to have emotions, this was a fact but there was something about this place that forced out buried feelings, that made people like him feel something that generally would never appear.

_You'll fall in love._

_Never! So shut up._

With that Athrun closed off everything and once again became the robot that he was supposed to be and continued his observation of the play thing that he had just marked.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato tried to concentrate on the conversation that was currently going on but an uncomfortable sensation was slowly creeping into his senses and it foretold bad news. He tried ignoring it by looking elsewhere, keeping his mind off what his body was trying to tell him by feeding it information from other places. His eyes met up with a pair of foreign ones when he turned around and looked straight. He had just noticed that a new person was where they were earlier since he was facing the direction where he had came but had not been able to look at his features properly, but right now when he was nearer and out of curiousity he switched his attention from the conversation at hand to the teenager.

And, the first conclusion he could come up with was that this teenager with raven hair was able to walk around undetected, which was an incredible feat that even he could not accomplish. The ground was gravelly and many loose stones littered the pathway, traps for the heavy footed and the unsure. Yet, this teenager had the ability to approach them and none of his companions noticed except him. Even Nicol, whose senses were above average since he is a Coordinator was oblivious to the fact that they were no longer alone.

Seconds passed and Kira, with a start realised his staring and smiled sheepishly at the stranger whom was also looking at him before turning his attention back to Nicol. However, no matter how hard he tried to focus on what both Nicol and the woman was talking about, his mind kept wandering back to those emerald green eyes and that cool aristocratic features.

_You could drown in those eyes._

Kira wanted very much to continue stare at the teenager, his beauty was apparent, breathtaking and he was undoubtedly a normal person who loved to stare at beautiful things, people. Eye candy was the word. However, that would seem extremely rude and embarrassing for both of them and he had no choice but to turn away, yet, his eyes kept glancing secretly, involuntarily, at the stranger's side profile as the said person continued to gaze into the distance as if admiring the view. But, Kira noticed, as relaxed as the other teenager seemed to be acting, Kira could swear that he was waiting, his pose was as if he was stalking a prey and he had an uncomfortable feeling that he was somehow that unfortunate being that was being stalked.

A rabbit that was hunted by a panther.

But, as Kira continued to make observations of his own, he noticed the sudden change of expression on the raven haired teenager's face, as if a mental wall shutting down, hiding the owner from everything and anything before everything exploded into raw pain. His attention had been so focused on the stranger that he had totally ignored those warning signs that signalled the incoming attack.

And so he was falling.

Emerald green eyes.

Still falling.

Kira Yamato gasped, his violet eyes opening wide as he felt the pain rush through him, the pain as sudden and violent like a tornado sweeping through a city, twisting and turning, destroying everything in it's path. His mouth opened and whimpers came out, small pitiful sounds that he hated. His sudden behaviour had attracted both Nicol and Yvette's attention and he felt more than saw them turning towards him in concern, but everything did not matter now except the pain that threatened to tear him apart with it's intensity.

_Not now. Why now? It hurt so bad._

Kira's breaths came out in spurts, hissing through his teeth as he struggled to hold on, staggering on his feet before falling onto his knees when his legs were too weak to hold up his weight, his left hand bracing the sandy ground, his other free hand clutching tightly at his chest where the pain had started. Kira could feel cold sweat forming on his back and forehead, could hear dimly that Yvette's terrified voice asking what was wrong and Nicol's calling his name. Kira wanted to turn his head to answer Nicol but all he could do was to look helplessly in front of him, the pain setting his senses on fire, ravaging everything, rendering him immobile, unable to think about anything else except the pain and those emerald green eyes that stuck like glue in his brain.

_I'm burning alive. Somebody help me._

_Could you help me? _

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cagalli Yula Athha gasped out loud as she felt herself being sucked back into her actual body as she felt cold water drip down her face onto her formal clothings. She looked around wildly, feeling extremely disconcerted after that experience as she registered her surroundings, noting that she was once again back in her office in the Orb administration building and not at some picturesque countryside.

" Representative!" Hinata called out, her voice frantic, one hand on the telephone, ready to call for medical existence when her stint with the water managed to pull her friend out of the stupor that she suddenly went into.

" Representative! Are you all right? What in the world happened?" She asked, calling attention to herself and not liking the sluggish response that Cagalli was currently giving her. Hinata replaced the phone onto its hook before walking towards the Representative, a frown marring her porcelain features.

Cagalli looked at Hinata, and for that instant, could not recognize who she was and why she was calling her. In fact, all she could see was Hinata's mouth moving and the words that emitted was incomprehensive to her blurred self. But, thankfully that temporary memory lapse soon passed and the memories of what happened flooded through her brain, giving her an instant migraine. Cagalli winced at the sudden uncomfortable feeling and rubbed at her temples, she wanted no more to go to sleep and not think about what had happened but she was too wired up to do so.

" How long was I out?" Cagalli murmured under her breath so that Hinata whom was still hovering nearby like a mother hen could not hear her. Hinata's concern was expected but it was so palpable that it was threatening to drown Cagalli. Right now, she did not need somebody, even if it was Hinata, her close friend, asking her questions that she herself had no answers to. All she needed now was to try to figure out what had happened with a cool and calm not to mention a sane and collected mind. Moreover, she knew that if she mentioned this incident to Hinata, she would be sent immediately to either the nut house, branded unfit to rule or the rest house, tied down in a strait jacket and forced to take unwanted leave. Neither choice was appealing so she kept her silence.

" What did you say?" Hinata asked suspiciously, she wanted badly to ask Cagalli about what had just happened but knowing her blonde haired friend, right now was certainly not the time to do so. She just had to bid her time and wait for her friend to willingly tell her. However, that did not mean that in the meantime she should not worry, that experience just now scared her. Cagalli was just like a comatose person, nothing she did just now could call her out of whatever that she was experiencing. Her vital signs were relatively normal, she had been breathing, her heart beat normal but her eyes and her complexion told her otherwise.

The whole time that Cagalli had been out, her eyes were wide and dilated, her face pale, and there were times that she whimpered and Hinata could swear that Cagalli was somewhere else when she heard bits and pieces of words that came out of Cagalli's mouth. She was not able to piece any of them together as they were all confusing as hell, but she could get the general idea that something that was happening somewhere that was distressing Cagalli and that frightened her.

It was when Hinata noticed that Cagalli was on the verge of crying when she could bear no more and decided to hell with the consequences as she threw the contents of the cup that was sitting on the desk all over Cagalli. She had been praying hard that whole time, hoping that her actions would not further complicate matters when Cagalli blessedly returned back to normal, her eyes were no longer dilated and that hunted expression on her face changed and she finally calmed down. Hinata had not realised that she was holding her breath until an ache in her chest told her that her lungs could no longer bear not breathing anymore. Hinata released her breath and forced herself to breathe normally before she was able to concern herself with the Representative.

" Hinata, I know this is very selfish of me, and I promise that I will tell you everything later, but right now, I would like to be alone." Cagalli said, her voice tired while her amber eyes pleaded with Hinata's. She knew that her request was extremely selfish, that she should not disregard Hinata's concern just because she could not face it, but right now, she was not in the mood to think about anybody else except her. That incident had left her emotionally helpless and she needed some time alone to gather her wits before she faced the world and that general meeting she had scheduled later in the day.

Hinata sighed, knowing that was exactly what the Representative would say before nodding and heading towards the door, but she could not resist turning back once again to look at Cagalli just to calm her anxiety.

" Representative, do you want me to cancel the meeting later?" Hinata asked, remembering Cagalli's schedule.

" No. I will be fine then. Thank you Hinata." Cagalli said gratefully to her friend who just nodded and went out the door. Cagalli leant back into her chair, her eyes looking up to the ceiling as if the answers were written there as she recalled the experience that she had just went through. She forced herself to relax, her muscles aching with the strain that she had put on it so long and if she was true to herself, she would admit that she felt as if she had been just ran over by a two tonne truck. Everything seemed bruised sore.

She remembered those two boys meeting, that brown haired boy's shy smile and the predatory glances the other threw at him. Cagalli knew instinctively that she knew the both of them, that somehow she had dreamt of them before but for the life of her, she could not remember. She closed her eyes, concentrating hard on those images but everything eluded her, taunting at her inability to do something that she wanted successfully, the images flashing through her brain at the speed of a bullet train, changing and changing until she felt herself go dizzy with the effort.

Cagalli opened her eyes, frustrated and extremely irritated at herself before banging her fist on the table to vent some of her anger, ignoring the pain that shot through her hand as she closed her eyes once again, refusing to give up that easily and tried to recall those things that taunted her from the recesses of her mind.

_The brown haired boy hugging her, comforting her, saving her from the black cesspool._

_The brown haired boy with his hand outstretched, pleading. Lying in a pool of blood._

_Another boy plunging the knife down mercilessly._

Cagalli's eyes shot open when she finally remembered where she had met one of those two people. He had been in her dreams, the brown haired boy, the premonitions that Meng had told her that she would have. But, the other she had not recognized, although she knew that those two were interconnected, the brown haired boy who had saved her, hugged her, comforted her when she had felt as if she was drowning. She remembered the vision when he was laying on the floor, hand outstretched, pleading for help when a stranger had stabbed him in cold blood. Cagalli remembered all of that and she could feel her breath quickening, she had to save him, but what could she say? What should she say? There was no way she could leave her post unguarded to save somebody who would think she was nuts.

Cagalli pushed her chair away from her desk and stood up, stretching those muscles that was so stiff after hours sitting in the same position, ignoring their painful protests. She walked towards the sliding doors that led to the balcony, the only place that she loved in this room, and pushed open the doors before stepping outside into the late afternoon sunshine, feeling it's warmth bathing her cold skin and breathing in the fresh air that immediately made her feel better. With her brain clearer, the migraine that was the after effect of that vision retreated back into the box in the recesses of her brain.

She looked out to the horizon, enjoying the small breeze that was blowing and the scenery that was the pride of Orb. She was thankful that she was able to feel again, the way that she had been partially handicapped previously in that vision made her so afraid, it seemed that she did not exist, that she was just a wisp of smoke that could just disappear without a trace, blown away by the wind just like that. She turned her head sideways, eyes looking towards the south instinctively, she wondered what was happening with the brown haired boy, the last thing she saw before she returned to her own reality was him falling down and that raven haired teenager looking so calm and collected.

Uncaring.

Cagalli frowned when she remembered the pain etched on the violet eyes boy's face, the pain was extreme and she wondered what caused it. She felt her heart wrench when she saw him fall, the grief and horror she felt was what she knew she would feel if Hinata was facing the same situation. That boy was somebody close to her, she may not know him now, but for some strange reason, she trusted him and wanted to protect him. He was so fragile, so easily broken that she wanted to just lock him in a room and keep him away from all the dangers of the world.

Especially the raven haired teenager.

Cagalli hated that teenager on sight. He seemed dangerous and she was certain that he was hiding something behind that beauty. The emotions that she felt when she was there was so real. That teenager meant the brown haired boy harm, she did not know what he was about to do and just thinking about that made her frustrated and her anxiety grow. She could not just sit here and twiddle her thumbs, she would send somebody to check up on the both of them, she remembered the place where she had her vision, where she saw the both of them. She would start from there.

But first, she would have to call in some favours and prepare for the meeting she had in about half an hour.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Meanwhile, back at the Elizabeth's bed and breakfast, Athrun Zala kept his face impassive as he watched the brown haired boy fall face flat unto the ground, his whimpers and ragged breathing harsh in the still air. The file that Athrun had on him did not include any illness, in fact, Kira Yamato had been a perfectly healthy teenager according to the information stated in those small printed words. Unless, the informant had been careless and failed to report this finding, but judging by the way the other green haired teenager was acting, it was evident that what he was currently witnessing was not the first time that it had happened. His curiosity piqued, Athrun wanted to find out more in order for him to use it to eliminate the target that he had been assigned to and on the other hand, he was concerned that his play thing was not up to par with his expectations.

Athrun could not stand imperfection.

" Kira!" Athrun heard the other teenager call out the unconscious boy's name as he hurriedly bent down beside him to check his vital signs. " Kira!"

" What is happening?" The woman with the long hair called out, her emerald green eyes so alike his were wide open with horror. Athrun frowned trying to remember where he had seen her before, but nothing came into mind, it was as if there was a mental block where she was concerned. He shook his head, refusing to focus on that particular topic and returned his attention to the matter at hand.

" Quick, help me to get him into your cottage, he has to get his medication." Nicol said urgently, his eyes catching sight of Athrun and he beckoned him over. " Please, help me get him into her cottage, hurry!"

Athrun barely blinked as he followed Nicol's orders, walking without much protestation towards Kira's fallen body before bending down and picking up the boy with ease, his muscles barely straining as he lifted Kira into his arms. Athrun was a little surprised at just how little Kira weighed, he was as light as a feather and extremely slender, his harsh breathing tickling Athrun's neck as he adjusted the position once, his arms holding the slender boy more tightly against his body and he was slightly disconcerted at the temperature.

Cold as ice.

Athrun frowned at this inhumane temperature and his footsteps unconsciously quickened, he walked through the door of the woman's cottage before laying Kira down on the couch whose breathing was shallow and was so deathly pale that Athrun would have thought that he was dead if not for the small rise and fall of his chest.

_Hope's cool body as he hugged it for the last time._

_Hope's brown eyes understanding and sad._

Athrun pushed away those images that had not surfaced for so long. Those reminders he did not need, but he was nevertheless remembering what he felt then and it was because Kira's situation that had unearthed those feelings. He was not able to comprehend the pang that he felt as he watched the other's suffering and merely pushed it to the back of his mind, his heart was dead, he did not have feelings, he did not cry and he definitely do not have the time to think about unnecessary things that would affect his performance.

Besides more importantly, nothing would change the outcome of this game. A contract had been made and a price had been paid, a million dollars for Kira Yamato's life, and a deal is a deal. It would not be ethical if money was received and the job left undone, his reputation as the top assassin was at stake here and Patrick Zala would never accept failure. It would take much more to change the end of the story then by looking at his target of elimination's vulnerability. Athrun turned his head away to look outside the window and stepped back into the shadows of the cottage allowing the green haired teenager to do his job.

Those violet eyes. Pleading to him to save him.

_Hope's brown eyes sad._

Athrun shook his head slightly to erase the image of those haunting eyes, those two eyes that overlapped that looked accusingly at him, but the image refused to let go of him and he cursed inwardly. His play thing was beginning to irk him even before he started his game and he wondered whether he should just get rid of him now to prevent further complications. But, strangely, he was incredibly reluctant to do so, he did not want to let go of something that he just found interesting. Athrun, hating his own indecision, did not understand why he was so emotionally weak in this current situation and it irritated him to no end.

_Kill him and it would be the end of this weakness._

Athrun's hand slipped behind his back, feeling the comfort of the knife that had accompanied him so many years in the past, his sole comfort and companion. He was about to pull it out before teleporting beside Kira's side to finish up the job but he was distracted by the sudden movement right beside him. The green haired teenager brushed beside him before kneeling down by Kira and just after his presence, the woman with the emerald eyes came to stand beside him, rendering him unable to do what he had intended to do. She turned towards him, her eyes narrowing as different emotions fleeted across her face, astonishment, disbelief, before becoming blank again as she turned away from him and started to bite on her nails as she murmured under her breath.

Athrun, puzzled even more by her behaviour tried once again to remember where he had seen her before as abstract images flashed past too quick for him to comprehend. She was someone he knew, maybe from very young, her features reminded him of someone and her presence made him very uncomfortable. Maybe, he could find some answers while he was here, or maybe he would save himself the trouble and just ask Patrcik Zala.

" Thank you." Nicol murmured to Athrun, whose train of thought was broken once again by the events happening. Nicol looked once at the stranger who had helped him in transporting Kira before shutting him out of his mind and concentrating with Kira's treatment. He was grateful that he had one of those vials that contained Kira's medication on hand, he dared not think of the consequences if he had not brought it. His healing powers did not work on Kira at times like this because there was nothing to heal, Kira's body was merely trying to awaken his powers and there was nothing Nicol could do to reverse the effects except follow Meng sensei's instructions on how to concoct the "potion" that would drive away the pain.

Without wasting any more time, Nicol unscrewed the cap before tilting the bottle over Kira's lips, but no matter how hard he tried, Kira refused to open his mouth, his groans and thrashing driving Nicol's sanity out the window. There was a limited time before the pain became too much to bear and by that time, even the potion could do nothing and it was up to Kira's own body to cope with the assault. Nicol did not want to go through that, he had seen what the pain could do and he was not about to allow Kira to damage himself further.

" Kira. Don't fight me." Nicol muttered into the unconscious boy's ears but to no avail, Kira was not responding to anything Nicol said. Exasperated and worried sick, Nicol looked around the small cottage, his eyes searching for something that could be used to force Kira's mouth open to accept the medication, but finding nothing in his panic. He did not notice the raven haired teenager coming up behind him until he spoke.

" Let me try." Athrun said, volunteering his services as he was peculiarly unnerved at the woman's constant murmuring and her sideway glances. He did not realize the impact of her behaviour could affect him that much, and he was thankful that there was something that he was able to do to occupy his mind. He did not know what was wrong with him today, first those extremely vulnerable thoughts in front of a picture no less and now this. He was not supposed to feel anything, but there was something about this place that brought up even the deadest of hearts.

And without waiting for Nicol's consent, Athrun had already taken the small little vial into his hands before tipping the contents into his mouth and leaning down towards Kira and lightly pressing his lips onto the other boy's cold ones. He slowly coaxed Kira's reluctant lips open, and when there was an opening, Athrun daringly deepened the kiss to the collective intake of breaths from the people on hand. Soon enough, when Athrun was sure that none would spill out, he emptied the contents into Kira's mouth before retreating quickly and gently holding Kira's jaw close, forcing Kira to swallow.

The medication worked immediately as Kira's thrashing stopped, his breathing calmed and his complexion was not as pale and pallid as before. Athrun leaned back in satisfaction and allowed himself a small smile of victory. His fingers slipped up to his lips as he remembered the kiss.

_Sweet and soft._

" What did you think you were doing?" Nicol hissed in anger at the total stranger who had just kissed Kira and he was a boy no less, his protective instincts positively screaming bloody murder.

" I just saved his life." Athrun said coldly, matter a fact, struck back to reality by Nicol's accusation. He was annoyed and his eyes boring holes into Nicol, who stared back with the same intensity, both of them like tom cats facing off, fur bristling and back arched in order to scare of each other opponents. Nicol barely relaxed his guard even when Kira stirred and groaned, his attention was immediately on the younger boy's but there was no mistaking the animosity towards Athrun who knew exactly what Nicol was thinking and feeling. This attitude amused Athrun to no end, and he had just found his second toy to tinkle with. Kira was going to be a fun project, in order to get to him, Athrun would have to pass through this green haired boy, Kira's bodyguard of some sorts.

A challenge that he would gladly take. A thrill before the kill.

But, most of all, something to focus other than his emotions.

Perfect.

And, Athrun smiled.

* * *

Author's Note : There you have it, Athrun and Kira have officially met. Updating, planned beforehand is once a week, however, something has come up and I will have to rein in a little, forgive me and be patient ne? Reviews are greatly appreciated.  



	11. Mother and Son

Gundam Seed : Chapter Ten

Mother and Son

Kira Yamato struggled to get rid of the pitch black darkness that surrounded him, he hated the blackness, hated the feeling of blindness, he could hear the people around him talking, their hushed whispers, and he wanted to put a face to those voices. He willed his extremely heavy eyelids to open, groaning a little as the light pierced through the darkness, almost blinding him.

" Nicol?" He rasped out, his throat dry and scratchy as he hungered for a cup of water and he waited patiently for his vision cleared and he could see. And what he saw surprised him, Nicol was looking angrily at that stranger who he had seen earlier before his embarrassing feat with the ground.

" What did you think you were doing?" Nicol hissed in anger at the raven haired boy who stood up slowly, languidly before staring back at Nicol with those cold emerald green eyes.

"I just saved his life." He answered calmly, eyes never leaving the other as both of them stared each other down. Kira forced his limbs to move, they were aching as they always do after each bout of "symptoms", wanting to stand up to separate those two before they come to blows. Both of them looked ready to jump at each other throats and Kira has never seen Nicol so edgy before. Yvette who was standing in the corner noticed his movements and went towards him to help him to sit up. Her actions finally made Nicol realise fully that Kira was awake and he glared at Athrun for the last time before turning his attention to his friend.

" Kira! How are you feeling? Are you all right?" He asked in concern.

Kira smiled softly before smiling, swallowing the slight bit of saliva he had in order to speak, " I'm fine, Nicol, don't worry and who is he?"

" I'm Athrun. Hope you are doing fine." Athrun replied without waiting for the boy Nicol to answer. His ears picked up a small gasp when he announced his name and he turned his head slightly to the direction from where it came from. He saw Yvette's gradually paling face, her mouth opening and closing like a gaping fish and he frowned. Her eyes were wide open with surprise? Horror? Fascination? Athrun could not tell. But, he noticed that tears were starting to glisten in her eyes and her hands were trembling and his frown deepened further when he noticed her eyes were looking at him with a strange intensity and this time he could tell what it was.

" Athrun, Athrun my baby. You are so old now." Yvette whispered as she stumbled towards him, hands outstretched, the recognition in her eyes converted to words. Athrun saw her coming and sidestepped to one side, avoiding her touch, her whole being like a plague. His confusion deepening as he moved, he did not know this lady, he could not remember ever seeing her, so why had she said something like that?

" I don't know you." He stated coldly on the defensive, muscles tensed, hand slipping to his back and grasping the hilt of his knife. He was ready to kill if he needed to but he did not want to do so until he got some answers. He did not like being in the dark, it made him feel extremely helpless and helplessness was a feeling he was not used to at all.

Yvette stopped in the middle of her tracks when she heard his answer and her face fell instantly, " You don't know me?" She repeated brokenly in a whisper. Her eyes roamed over Athrun's features drinking in everything, his eyes, nose, mouth, face, everything. They came from her, her cheekbones, her hair, her mouth and her eyes. They belonged together, he came from her, he originated from her, he was hers.

But, he did not recognize her.

" Patrick Zala." She hissed in anger, hand bunching into a fist as the pain of losing her only child once more when she finally came to figure out why he looked so familiar paralysing her. She felt only anger, only remorse of being a coward when her son needed her most, and that overwhelming hatred at the man who had ruined her life. He had ran that day away from the Clyne company, drugging her, bringing her along and she had been his servant, his slave for the years that came. He used her, tormented her and forced himself on her. The only thing that kept her alive then was the small hope that she would one day be free.

Free to live her life with her son.

Yvette looked down at the floor as the past came rushing back into her, she had took care of Athrun when he was young, protecting him as much as she could from the monster that had the face of a man. She convinced Patrick that he had no use for a baby, there was nothing he could do, no tests that he could perform to ascertain anything, it had taken some time and during that time she was so afraid that he would not listen, that the baby would become yet another victim of his but Patrick surprised her by dumping his precious creation on her, although keeping a strict watch on her movements, and stalking her everywhere she went. Yvette could not have cared about his motives, all she cared about was the tiny bundle of joy that she had in her arms.

But, time did not wait for anyone, and soon Athrun was no longer the helpless baby, no longer the excuse Yvette could use to keep him near her and Patrick suddenly dropped the bomb that he would start the tests and the training soon. There was no use for Yvette any longer, she had finish serving her purpose. He had wanted to kill her there and then but he changed his mind. Yvette out of terror, out of self preservation had ran away that very night. She had no idea how she did it, everything that had happened that night was a blur, but one thing was clear. She left her baby behind. She left her three year old child, her clingy, helpless, three year old child in the hands of a monster.

And it was something she would regret till the day she died.

Tears tracked a path down her cheek as the three teenagers continued to look at her, two curiously, one defensive. Yvette's outstretched hands dropped limply by her sides, a defeated look on her face as she visibly aged twenty years in front of the three teenagers, her eyes dimming as if the life were slowly draining out of her. Yvette took one last look at Athrun before she turned stiffly on her heels, her back now facing them and said in a dead monotone, " I'm sorry but if Kira is fine now, I would like all of you to leave."

" Yvette…"

" Please, leave me alone." She sobbed out, the heartache and pain lacing each syllable.

Nicol looked at Kira worriedly, concerned that he was not up to walking or moving at all, but Kira nodded and Nicol draped Kira's arm over his shoulders before helping Kira to his feet and supporting his weight with his body. Kira's brow furrowed deeply as his muscles complained and strained against all the movement but he forced them to move all the same, He would rest later.

Meanwhile Athrun too followed her wishes. There was nothing he could do if he did not leave together with the other boys. He knew that the boy named Nicol would probably say something and force him to leave at the same time and though he liked challenges, there was a limit to finding trouble. However, when he looked backwards before exiting, both pairs of emerald green eyes met. Athrun had planned to come back later when the coast was clearer and he knew that Yvette knew it too. It was something that was inevitable happening either sooner or later and Athrun that it was sooner instead of later. He guaranteed that and Yvette's slight nod represented her acceptance of his will.

She understood.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Athrun slipped the key into the keyhole and turned, opening the door slowly, noiselessly. Earlier, he had noticed Kira and Nicol getting a key for the room beside and only when he was certain that they both were no longer anywhere in sight did he retire to his own room. Kira intrigued him, Nicol challenged him but the matter at hand was more of a problem now that things have escalated into how it was.

Athrun walked towards the bedside and bent down, looking at the sleeping girl's features. He had planned to use her as bait for the other two guys, but Kira being here complicated things. He wanted Miri to fall in love with him and that would certainly cramp the moves that he would put on Kira. He did not want Miri to back off, that would spoil everything. Having her meant having the two boys, they were her knights in shining armour and he was absolutely certain that both of them would sacrifice anything to save this damsel in distress.

It was the proverbial two birds with one stone.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Miriallia Haw woke slowly in a blanket of warmth, staring half consciously at her surroundings, snuggling down deeper into the luxury that she was not able to have in the past. Her brown eyes staring sleepily at the ceiling that was above her, her mind sluggish as sleep had yet to leave her. She wondered what it was that woke her but nothing came to mind however, the answer soon became apparent as a silhouette bent over her, his emerald eyes reflecting her mussed up hair and sleep swollen face.

" You are awake?"

Miriallia swallowed a shriek, her face heating up as Athrun's eyes never left her face, she squashed the feeling to brush her hair, to at least do something to make her presentable in front of this beautiful teenager and nodded briskly, wanting to hide herself under those bed covers.

_Bed covers? When did she end up on the bed?_

" Did you move me up here?" Miri asked the only thing that came into mind, struggling to entangle the bed sheets from her feet, and pushing herself upright. Her movement caused Athrun to move away but not too far away. His eyes were as cold as a lizards with no emotion showing but Miri could sense that his calm façade had been shattered just a little, she had no idea whether it was for the better or for the worse, if his mood was much better than earlier and that the slight curve of his mouth was the shadows of a smile, or if it was the total opposite. He confused her, there was no telling what he was feeling or thinking. He was a challenge and Miri was tempted to unravel his mysterious mask.

" It was more comfortable." Short and simple. " Are you hungry?"

Miri's stomach growled in response to his question and she blushed, embarrassed, irritated with herself. She could not believe her extremely bad timing and it seemed as if she was forever making a fool of herself in front of Athrun, be it saying foolish, childish things or acting like an airhead so she merely nodded, she did not want to reply in case something stupid or unworthy of his time popped out all of a sudden and created awkward situations like this one.

" I think Elizabeth prepared dinner."

" Dinner!" Miri exclaimed in surprise, forgetting her earlier vow, her mind whirling. Had time escaped so fast? She had no idea how long she slept and in that time had Athrun been in the room? And if his mood improved was it because she was no longer bothering him with her annoying questions or childish behaviour by sleeping? Or was it because she….

Miri shook her head slightly, banishing the last thought from her head. Athrun could not have enjoyed looking at her sleep, he would have much better things to do. He was on business here anyway and it was obvious from the time that she had spent with him, no matter how short it had been, that he was someone that did not do the unproductive. People with things to do would not waste their time staring at another person sleep. But, even if Miri pushed that thought forcefully away, part of her could not stop herself from wondering and hoping like every other girl that she be whisked off her feet by a handsome prince on a white stallion.

" I'll wait for you outside, then we'll go together. Wash up if you need to, do you have changes of clothing with you?"

Miri nodded to Athrun's enquiry, swinging her legs over the edge of the bed before putting them on the carpeted floor. Athrun nodded back once and walked out the door, closing it softly behind him. Miri watched his back from the side of her eye until the door closed. Confident that Athrun was no longer in the room, only did Miri really relax, being with someone as perfect as him created admiration but it created pressure too. It created a need, a desire, an obsession to become as perfect as him, to not pull him down by existing by his side. It was not hard to understand that feeling as she had experienced it before, being with Yzak and Dearkka created the same tension although not as palpable as being with Athrun.

Realising that and with a sigh, Miri padded across the room towards where her backpack was and pulled out a few garments for her to change into after she had her shower. She undressed, letting the clothes that she had on slip onto the floor before wrapping herself with one of those soft terry towels that was provided by Elizabeth. She stepped into the shower stall and turned on the faucet, the hot water that gushed out soothing her nerves and relaxed her muscles immediately. With a contented smile, Miri enjoyed the warm water and the mild scent that the complementary shampoo created as she rubbed some into her hair, the bubbles giving her a sense of satisfaction. She had not been able to bathe as if for a long time and now that she had a chance, she would take her time.

After all, this was the beginning of a new life, might as well start out smelling nice.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was night. People with families were having dinners with their loved ones while those who were single and available were searching the crowds for a person they could be with. The building with four stories was in a posh area and the streetlights illuminated the roads, providing the inhabitants a clear view of where they were and those with bad intentions nowhere to hide.

In one of the apartments in the building, a brown Labrador stood up, its ears pointed and twitching as it heard the familiar sounds that implied that someone was coming through the door. Its nose twitched, sniffing at the air as it tried to figure out who was there, friend or foe. It was not long until it made up its mind, bounding towards the door before standing up on its hind legs, forepaws scrabbling at the wooden door of the apartment, whining, tail wagging furiously. Yukito opened his apartment door, steadying himself for the attention that his pet would give him. Always, coming home was a plus when there was someone who welcomed you and Trust is indeed an extraordinary loving creature. That was the main reason why he had adopted him from the pound those years ago in the first place.

Prepared, Yukito smiled and opened the door and immediately a huge living, breathing animal with its tail whipping furiously jumped upon him, whining happily at the sight of his master, its tongue out and ready, slobbering everywhere on Yukito's clothes, licking every inch of his skin that was exposed. Yukito grinned, a sincere expression and an action seldom seen when he was working or basically outside of his domain, not minding the slobber at all. It was a small price to pay for the undivided attention he got freely from his pet. Within that few minutes, gone was Yukito's cool exterior and instead was replaced by the warm one that he kept hidden inside, unwilling to show to others, stingy in a sense. He was relaxed here where there was nobody he should beware of, nobody he needed to pretend in front of because it was only him and Trust.

Laughing, Yukito petted its head affectionately while Trust laid down immediately on the floor, exposing his belly and wriggling as if inviting Yukito to give it a belly rub, a favour to him instead of Trust. Yukito bent down, his expression contented and proceeded to give Trust what he wanted.

It was all in all good to be home.

Meanwhile, the whole exchange was watched unnoticed by Yukito by the person who was standing nearby, hidden in the shadows. The person's mouth quirked up into a smile when Yukito's genuine smile triggered past memories, it was not so long ago when that smile was only for that person and that person alone. It was indeed slightly degrading that Yukito would give that smile to a dog.

" What about me?" That person spoke up, low, husky, seductive. " Aren't you going to love me too?"

Yukito stiffened in surprise at the sudden addition and his expression changed immediately, becoming impassive, cold. He knew that voice so well that even if he was not looking at who it was, he knew. That voice was the voice that haunted his dreams in the past and now was the main reasons for his nightmares at night.

" What are you doing here?" He asked, his voice betraying none of the emotions that he felt inside. He straightened his posture, his hand no longer petting Trust, prompting the animal to whine, not understanding why its master's mood had changed so fast. Trust, getting back to its feet, turned its large head around and growled at the newcomer, its animal instinct telling it that its master did not want this stranger here.

" You have trained your pet well, it can even tell your emotions, unlike me. I still can't figure out what you are thinking." The stranger said laughingly, but there was a hint of jealously in that voice, threaded so perfectly that it blended with the taunt that was thrown at Yukito.

" Why are you here?" Yukito repeated, his voice strained as painful memories he wanted to forget threatened to reveal itself.

" Is it that important? If you really want to know, I came back to visit an old friend." Still husky, still seductive, but Yukito knew better. He had been tricked by that voice, that voice that told him he was loved, that he was protected, that he will never be alone.

" And who might that be?" Yukito asked, his back still facing the newcomer, unwilling to turn around and look at the one person he had trusted wholly and yet had betrayed him without a second thought. It was three years ago, Yukito thought that he would be over that incident, but the fact was he was not. Apparently, he was still the walking wounded, still the person who cared more than the other.

" Do you still need to ask?" The voice said amused walking slowly out of the shadows, exposing a face that Yukito never want to see again, as a pair of arms hugged him from behind and started nuzzling his neck. " You still use the same everything, even your aftershave, you never change." That person mumbled, face not leaving Yukito's body.

" Get away from me." Yukito snarled, finally turning around, green eyes blazing with unspoken rage as he pushed the person who had the nerve to return, away from him, not wanting to look at him but having no choice and it was not because he had to, but, because his heart yearned for that forbidden glimpse that threw him once again into the pits of hell.

Beauty was a double edged sword.

" Why have you come back? What else do you need from me? I have followed everything that you have told me to do. Lacus is not a threat so stop your games, stop before somebody gets hurt." He said, looking away, angry at himself for being so weak and hating every minute of the situation that he was in. Had he not suffered enough? Why was God still punishing his past foolishness?

The person chuckled, amused before speaking once again, eyes glinting mischievously in the light, " Why should I? It's progressing so nicely, I thought I was doing you a favour, did you not remember what you told me that night when you were drunk? You told me that you wanted revenge, that you wanted everybody to just disappear, especially those Naturals who killed your family and destroyed your only home? Don't you remember what you said that night? You were so angry, so hurt, so damaged. I healed you. I promised you that revenge and now that everything is in motion, you want me to stop? Or, is it because you have fallen in love with Lacus Clyne?"

" What!" Yukito spluttered, seeing stars in his anger. He tried to calm himself by taking in deep breaths, hating his inability to stay cool in front of this person. He gave himself a few more seconds to compose himself, not trusting himself to sound normal if he did not as a silver of the past flashed past.

_Two people panting softly for breath as they separated from each other, one above while the other laid below, both pair of eyes locked together, both revealing emotions that was so clear, so real through their sated gazes._

" _I love you. Don't you ever forget that." The person above whispered fiercely into Yukito's ear, eyes burning into Yukito's, earnest and true. _

_Speechless, Yukito blinked back the tears of happiness that he suddenly accumulated, blurring his vision of the beauty that was his lover, whose long hair cascaded down and brushed against his skin, setting his senses on fire. He, whom had lost everything, love, family, all that he had ever owned was grateful, thankful that he was not deserted, that he was able to find that one thing that he craved all his life. Yukito did not care about fame nor money. He was not an ambitious person, he just wanted to be loved._

" _Thank you." Yukito whispered back as he raised his hand to stroke his lover's hair, entangling it between his fingers and slightly tugging at it before letting go and gently pulling his lover towards him. Smiling in response, the person above Yukito bent down and planted a kiss on Yukito's lips, soft as a butterfly, meant to torture, meant to tease, making Yukito groan, before deepening it and the silent night filled with the passion of two peoples joining as one._

Yukito's long fingers clenched into a pair of fists as the weight in his chest threatened to choke him as he remembered. He wanted this self torture to stop, for him to be able to heal but what a person wants usually never come true unless they tried. However, in his case, it was as if that his efforts were all in vain, they were never enough to bury the things that both of them had shared. It was too strong, too important to just be able to fade away. And as ironic as it was, Yukito did not want it to fade into oblivion either.

_How could you, you of all people who knew me the most say something like that?_

Focusing on the topic, Yukito pushed everything else into the back of his brain and answered, "Yes. I want you to stop. This is not what I want, what you are doing now is atrocious, I've never wanted any of this. I made you promise the next day to forget what I said, we were drunk, we were blabbering, you understood, you promised! So don't put this blame on me, don't make me your excuse to do what you want."

However, Yukito's sentence ended in a near shout, failing to be what he want, the calm unaffected person, what the other said earlier opened the wound that had started healing, he, the one failing perfectly to stay calm, hated himself at the same time for his indecision, he was the one who put himself through everything that he was going through. He was the one who created all those pain, while the person who so easily walked away was not affected at all. His disgust and anger, hurt and love all at the same time was easily readable by the stranger and he chuckled, enjoying the personal hell that Yukito had created before putting himself into it and throwing away the key.

" You are right, once again. Yukito, you are the only person who understands me so well even after all this time." That person paused for a while, taking time to just look at Yukito, past lover and friend, before continuing, his voice changing, no longer seductive, no longer warm, becoming cold and hard as steel, " I will not stop now, everything is going to plan, you will see one day that what I'm doing now is for the best. I have the power now, and I shall not allow any of it taken away from me. Be warned Yukito, I have my informants and Lacus is under my control. You tried to sabotage my plans, you brought her to those storages, did you think that I would not find out? Or did you think that by doing so, you would have a chance at changing what is fated? I'm stronger than her, Yukito. Do not forget that. I can hurt her without even trying, do not try my patience."

And with that threat, the person left as abruptly as before leaving a stunned Yukito. Yukito stared at the space that had been occupied before and he wondered what he had gotten himself into.

_Ishida._

_Two people walking hand in hand into the sunset, promising their future that belonged to the both of them._

Yukito looked blankly at his hand, his mind stopping as his heart continued to bleed, Trust sensing his master's confusion and sadness nudged with his brown head against Yukito's thigh trying to attract his attention, whining as he tried to comfort Yukito the best as he could. However, Yukito noticed nothing, felt nothing except the emptiness and the loneliness that Ishida's absence created. His lips curving up into a heartbroken, painful smile as the tears that welled up blur his vision, sliding uncontrolled down his pale face, his weakness no longer witnessed by anybody except the four walls that bound him in a space that he wanted to escape from. Their meeting was a mistake, their falling in love was an accident, something that should not have happened, should not have been approved.

_What did you think you were doing? What did you think you could achieve? _

Ishida Toshiro was not somebody he could go up against. Ishida was right, he could hurt Lacus so easily, and he was a person of his word. Had he been wrong to make Lacus see? Had he been wrong all this while? Should he just allow everything that was about to happen if Ishida got his way to happen? Was he right? Yukito did not know and he could feel his time to make up his mind running out. Ishida betrayed him and left him with nothing, Lacus had been the one who had helped him, saved him, he was supposed to be loyal to her. It was a simple fact. So why is it that his heart still wanted to stand by Ishida's side? That if Ishida came back, he would welcome him with open arms, forgetting the past hurt, willing to start all over again?

"You never do learn." Yukito said sadly to himself, brushing his hand over his eyes, wiping away the moisture, knowing the answer clearly. He had fallen deep and hard, when a person truly loved a person, changing their feelings, forgetting about him or her would be impossible, letting go even harder but necessary when it was time. He loved Ishida but he had to let go because it was time now. He would keep his silence, but he would secretly help Lacus, that was the most that he could do for now. Love is nothing but a burden, Yukito thought bitterly as he went into the cold dark apartment, it is nothing but something that chained you down and made you do things that would haunt your conscience forever.

Like he is now.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dearkka Elsman opened his eyes and stretched, yawning. He had, while waiting, fallen asleep on the benches scattered about the station for weary travellers, all of them bearing marks of the years went by and slogans that had been spray painted in multi colours by the hands of teenagers before looking around his surroundings. His eyes tracked the people milling around, at the businessmen and women wearing their long coats and holding their laptop cases or briefcases close to their bodies, eyes staring straight ahead, face expressionless, striding purposefully to their next destination, their motto being money was time, time was money, or the tourists lounging around waiting for the shuttle flight, all of them either staring blankly ahead, tired from the long flights or walking around inspecting the few measly shops that were there.

Dearkka snorted inwardly at all these people, he knew for a fact that all those that were here were just a coincidence because frankly who would want to be here? In this deserted place where even Plants had forsaken. The local government loved to lie to the people here that Colony 5 was no longer as bad as it was in the past, that the situation, the economy in Colony 5 was gradually improving, that this colony was prospering under the tourist trade and that other colonies are willing to pour in money for development. However, the people here knew the real thing, Colony 5 was degrading, there was nowhere for it except down. Sooner or later, it would just dissipate and disappear from the face of the earth.

And he would not be here when that day comes.

Dearkka took out his wallet, checked the funds that they still had, did some mental calculations in his head before pulling the tickets that both Yzak and him had bought just now noting the time printed on the flimsy paper and looking up again to check the overhead digital clock for confirmation of the time. Their flight was due soon and they should be heading towards the gate in a while. Dearkka replaced his wallet snugly into his pocket, he could not afford to have a pickpocket steal his wallet right now.

" Dearkka, are you sure that this is where Miri would be heading?" Yzak Joule asked, his silver hair impeccably in place even after the small nap that he had taken earlier on, ice blue eyes looking at Dearkka doubtfully. Before this, they had been showing Miri's picture to the people around and asking whether any of them had ever seen this girl. Their efforts were not in vain when one of the workers in the station remembered, his response slightly shocking when he had told them that Miri had boarded a shuttle to Orb and that she had been following a teenager with raven blue hair. The worker had even proceeded to tell them what a matching pair both of them had been, the girl pretty and the guy elegant. Both Dearkka and Yzak had looked at each other, their worry for Miri increasing a few notches because they knew how wary Miri could be about people.

_Were they too late?_

" Yes I'm sure, my gut instinct tells me that this is where she is. She did mention before that she had always wanted to go to Orb, guess that we just never really paid attention just all."

" Hmmph." Yzak grunted, not really believing Dearkka's guess but he figured that it was worth a try.

" The gate for boarding of the shuttle to Orb is open now. Passengers heading to Orb please be kindly reminded that the boarding gate is gate two. Thank you." Their conversation was interrupted for a short period when a bored woman's voice came over the intercom announcing their flight. Both of them grabbed their luggage wordlessly, both of them duffels stuffed with stuff that they thought they needed for this travel. They had cleaned up the room in Nana's place, leaving things that they could afford to leave, little trinkets that they thought that Nana could sell to get some money, they had paid their rent for this month but all of them knew that Nana's kindness could never be repaid with money, that would be insulting, but till now it was the least they could do.

" You ready?" Dearkka asked his companion, a question that was more to comfort himself than to know what the other really thought. Dearkka was no coward, there was this anticipation of a better future but there was also a fear of the unknown, of the future that Dearkka harboured. He had fought so hard to have a family, to have something that he owned, that was stable and now everything had been uprooted, he feared that he would lose Yzak, he was scared that he would not be able to find Miri, he was afraid that they would not be able to survive.

Yzak threw a sidelong glance at the blonde haired teenager, his ears picking up the unease in Dearkka's question and his ice blue eyes narrowed, " Yes I'm ready but what about you? Are you about to chicken out on me now?"

" No!" Dearkka said indignantly, his golden eyes blazing, temporarily forgetting his fear at Yzak's slight taunt.

Accomplishing his goal, Yzak smiled inwardly and answered as coolly as possible," Good, I have no need for a coward, keep that in mind Dearkka."

Dearkka stared wounded at Yzak, wondering whether was he that worthless in his eyes, before a thought struck him, his eyes widening as he looked dumbfounded at Yzak's back, his thoughts focusing on one and only one theme.

_Had Yzak just tried comforted him?_

Dearkka admitted it was undeniably a lousy way of doing it but it had been a successful attempt, his previous fear that had been so acute had receded back into the hole it came from, no longer binding him with its claws. Besides, it was the thought that counted, that Yzak could read his emotions and cared enough to do something about it was the main point and Dearkka's heart warmed at that particular moment.

" You still need improvement you idiot." Dearkka muttered darkly under his breath, but he could not stop the widening smile that was forming on his handsome face. Arrogant as ever, Yzak could not bring himself down to say something more kindly, or perhaps it was because he did not know how.

_No worries Yzak, you'll learn. I'll be here when you do start to walk._

" What are you dallying for?" Yzak called back irritated when he realised that Dearkka had not followed him and was still standing there like an idiot with that huge, wide smile on his face. Yzak suspected the smile was aimed at him, but he could not fathom why it was there. Did it make Dearkka so happy that he had actually uttered something human or was it because Dearkka was laughing at him? At his sudden weakness?

A flush crept up Yzak's face, his face getting hotter and hotter until he was sure that he was as red as a tomato when he thought that Dearkka was laughing at him, his short temper fraying at the ends. Noticing this, Dearkka hurriedly hid his smile before running to catch up with his hot tempered prince, knowing he was seconds away from being thoroughly drenched. Not only did he definitely not want to turn up wet for his flight, he too was extremely reluctant to go through the hassle of explaining how in the middle of a building he was able to get wet to the millions of people who would have witnessed his so called 'punishment' by the hands of his lover.

Reaching the seething Yzak who glared through narrowed eyes at him, Dearkka, acting as if there was nothing wrong, pretending the icy cold atmosphere did not exist threw an arm around Yzak's shoulder, before bending down until he was level with Yzak's left ear and whispered two words, two simple words that immediately soothed Yzak's rage and filled him with shame that he had once again jumped into conclusions, he had to stop doubting Dearkka, his expression awkward, he did not know what to say.

" Thank you." Dearkka repeated, in case Yzak did not hear properly, afraid that Yzak still thought that he was laughing at him. " Thank you."

" Whatever." Yzak snapped, his face turned away not wanting Dearkka to see how embarrassed and ashamed of himself he was, hiding his awkwardness with abruptness. Dearkka's words melted away his defences, melted away the walls that were built of ice that surrounded his heart. Not knowing how to react, Yzak could only look away, part of him was glad that he had been able to comfort Dearkka, yet part of him was afraid of showing too much, of hurting once again. When a person has hope, building that hope, nurturing it, moulding it until it accumulated brought to even more disappointment. And Yzak knew about pain, about torture, about disappointment and he was not too sure if he was able to cope if he was thrown once more into a situation where disappointment ruled supreme.

_You have tried so hard to get your freedom, you have ran so far away, don't give it up now, no matter who that person is. _

_Not even Dearkka._

Yzak shrugged away Dearkka's hand and with his eyes averted, he started walking briskly away. Dearkka did not know what had just happened and could only stare blankly at Yzak, his amber eyes confused and wounded. He did not understand what had just conspired in Yzak's brain, did he just say the wrong thing? Did he just remind Yzak of something in his past? What had he done wrong?

Dearkka sighed, he did not want to be kept at arm's length, the night where he had held Yzak in his arms while both of them slept seemed so far away. Time, it was said, could heal even the deepest of wounds, could wash away the memories of a loved one, but it seemed as if that this time, time could not heal the wounds that Yzak had been inflicted with, or maybe Yzak did not want it to heal. There was too much emotional baggage that he was carrying and he was not willing to open up, to start the healing process. Pride was Yzak's main concern and his pride had been stepped on, spat on, and shredded till there was nothing else where else trust did not exist in Yzak's dictionary.

_What should you do, Dearkka?_

Dearkka was hurt, he was tempted to throw in the white towel, surrender and just walk away but he could not bring himself to. After so many years of watching Yzak cry silently, inwardly, he was willing to give it his all, and if that was not enough, he would give more. He was what Miri had said so long ago, even when he had scoffed at it at first.

" _Hey Dearkka, if you were given a choice between red and white roses and a limit of one hundred per bouquet, how would you arrange the flowers? You can either choose one colour or you could use both, so what would your answer be?" Miri, eyes shining looked up from where she was sitting on the wall, her legs swinging and asked the blonde haired teenager that was besides her, dozing off._

" _It would be all red. Why pollute it with white?" Dearkka had just mumbled, eyes still closed, not paying much attention to Miri._

" _Really! Wow, I did not expect you to be the one who would be willing to give it your all and expect nothing back."_

Dearkka smirked at that memory, it was just pure crap, those personality tests, traps for gullible people like Miri who enjoyed them. She had begged him to read that particular article to her when the roses and the few words that she was able to decipher caught her attention. She had been crafty enough to wait till he was in a better mood for games like this to ask him about his opinion. Usually, he rarely could be bothered.

Dearkka's conception of those twenty questions or so were just there in those magazines to fill up space and to mislead people. So he had brushed away Miri's interpretation and went about his way, laughing at her for believing in such stuff. Yet, look who's laughing now, was he not what she had interpreted that day? Was he not the one giving and giving and giving?

He did not know.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Lacus Clyne awoke with a start, her grey eyes staring bloodshot at the alarm clock that she had set earlier, reaching out to turn the insistent ringing off and was a little shocked to find out that it was already eleven in the night. She had spent the whole day shuttling from meeting to meeting, burying herself in work in order for her to not remember that grotesque sight that she had witnessed yesterday and yet all those merely made her emotionally tired but still not physically exhausted enough to be able to sleep till the next morning.

Lacus stared silently at the ceiling as she continued to lay in her bed, insomnia haunting her, ears listening to the silence of her home, her servants, her help all gone for the night as they do not stay after dark by her orders. She wanted to be alone at night even if it meant that she had to do everything by herself but anyhow, she did not mind the fuss because it was a small price to pay for the privacy she craved and gained through this move.

_Empty eyes._

Lacus sat up in her bed, giving up any attempt for further sleep before padding towards her workstation, sliding gracefully into the chair in front of her desk and stared blankly at the documents that were spread in front of her. Once again, she had brought her work back home, but today her mind was wandering elsewhere and was not able to focus on her work. The necklace that she thought she had lost in the past was around her neck once again, and her fingers fingered absentmindedly at the single blood red crystal, her expression darkening significantly as time passed by.

_Why had the necklace been there? Had she been into one of those storages? If so when? Why did she not remember?_

The news of those storages that belonged to Plant shocked her, plans of war, of clones had been banished since three years ago when the treaty had been signed. Lacus lips curled up into a sad smile, she knew she should not be surprised because it was a known fact that all countries had their own backup plan, Orb was still developing weapons, so Plants should not be wrong in creating their own super weapons, even if it were clones.

_But, those empty eyes staring back at her._

Lacus had vague memories of reading through documents about that particular project, she knew that it was approved by Ishida Toshiro but as a member of the council, she had voted that project to be closed and Ishida had agreed. Many of the council members had given their agreement too, not wanting to barge in the world of cloning anymore or even anything biological, they had been burnt once, and they were not willing to go through it again. And that had been that. The project had been put on the back burner, all evidence and results gotten rid of or it was supposed to have been taken care of.

Unfortunately, it seems as if the teams that she had dispatched seemed to have excluded this particular field or had seemed to have forgotten as impossible as it was. They were professionals and she had personally handpicked those that she could trust and had stressed on the importance that everything should be destroyed, they had came back with reports and photos proving their work and she had Yukito read them all, so how could she have left out something so big? How could she, of all people be so careless as to leave something like that out?

People were still edgy after these three years, their painful memories were being washed away by time, their pain dulled by those ticking moments, but everything could be torn to shreds, the wounds reopened with just one article. She could imagine the consequence if somebody of the media found out, if they played it to their hands, it could mean the peace, no matter how pretentious it were would be at risk, and she as the head of military would be forced to participate in all those questionings that were meant to embarrass and not to solve, more and more bad publicity for PLANTs and even more paranoid people to soothe and convince that everything was not as it seemed.

But, worst of all, it could mean yet another war, what Orb did in their free time was nobody's business but theirs but when the news about the storages came out, everything in the dark would be exposed once again. Fingers would be pointed at each other, Orb at PLANTs, and vice versa. Evidence about Orb having their own personal collection of weaponry had come to her attention just a week ago, she had done her digging before she had proposed that absurd proposal to Cagalli, she had to make sure that they were not capable to fend for themselves and Yukito and the staff whom had done the digging had been sworn to secrecy, for her friend's benefit and her own. She did not want things to be escalated further into something that she could not handle, she had enough problems of her own and insufficient time to figure them out.

Lacus had the most to lose if everything went public and she could definitely not afford that, if anybody had any chance to look into those dead eyes, what would they say? But, everything aside, the main problem was how could that storage be still functioning? The cooling system and the locks had seemed to be working perfectly, generators maintaining the systems and nothing was out of place, the storages were clean and that could only mean that there are still people who went there at times to make sure that everything was in tip top order. Who had the authority to send people to do that? And why had she not noticed anything? All orders came from her, classified projects especially, her help had no authority, the other council members do not hold that much power, they had no business in the military, so who?

Lacus frowned as she tried to remember anything that she had missed but nothing could be dragged out of her memories, it seemed there was a wall blocking her off and the more she tried to pry it from herself, the more her head throbbed as if warning her off. Lacus gave up finally realising the futility of actions and an idea came to her.

_Could it be him?_

Lacus opened her laptop and settled on searching her database of files, her computer system was directly linked to the PLANTs' database and this was either a bane or a blessing depending on however she looked at it. Usually she hated it as she had no reason to not be able to check the progress of her work from home, but, now it was more of a blessing as the machine whirred to life, and enabled her to assess the system. She typed in her name and password and waited a few seconds for the system to verify her identity. Meanwhile, she got up to pour herself a cup of coffee and settled back down into the chair. She had no idea how long it would take to reveal anything and she might as well make use of the brew that her servant had made for her and kept warm in the flask just in case any use came to it.

Within seconds, her screen displayed PLANTs main logo, animated by those technicians they had hired through a huge sum of money in order to keep everything up and running perfectly. Lacus was not one to notice as she had no particular love for technology and she ignored the flashing icon and went about her own business. She scrolled down the page till she came to an empty space designated for her to type in any command that she wanted the system to do. Lacus's fingers flew over her keyboard, gracefully typing in the commands, waiting for the system to react, typing again before finally the screen went blank with only an asterisk blinking at the top of the screen. Lacus repeated what she done earlier and entered a series of complicated combinations that was at least 20 digits long before double clicking at the asterisk.

Lacus waited patiently as the page cleared and a list of all the projects that she had typed appeared on the screen. Lacus was extremely thankful for her Coordinator genes, she may not be one to be able to do anything good physically, but her memory had always been better than the rest and she found that this suited her better as a singer in the past and now as a member of the PLANTs council. It was because of this trait that she was extremely puzzled on how she could have forgotten not one but two things, first losing her necklace in that kind of place and secondly that she could not remember those storages.

Lacus patiently went through the folders, clicking, reading the contents and exiting. The only sound that anyone within her radius could hear currently in the night was the clicking of the mouse and Lacus getting up to pour more coffee. She did not know how long had passed before finally something on the screen caught her attention and her eyes widened as she scanned through that particular document, her prize for the patience and time she had just put in.

" Damn you, Ishida." She muttered angrily not long after, her grey eyes flashing dangerously in the night. Her prediction had not been off, Ishida had been the one who had approved once again for the functioning of that project. It seemed that there were others who had supported him in that move and had supplied those people who had taken care of the storages. Lacus felt the anger grow, what did Ishida mean by doing all these? He had nothing to gain if everything was found out, it would make him look bad to if this incident was exposed as he was the one who had suggested that she be the head of military. And besides, he had no power authorizing things such as this, so how was it that he could have done it without her noticing? Was somebody even more powerful at work? Who were the scientists who are still working under him?

Lacus reread the document once again in order for her to understand better, to see if there were yet other things that she had missed but nothing was to be found. Frustrated, she exited PLANTs system and allowed her laptop to hibernate as she tried to figure out the thoughts that were all jumbled up in her head. She closed her tired eyes, ignoring the burn, there were more questions than answers that needed answering, but there was nothing she could do except confront Ishida if she wanted anything clarified. She doubted if he was one to admit anything but she knew for a fact that time was running out and if she did not move soon it would be checkmate for both her and Cagalli. It was no longer allowed for her to wait in the dark with her friend on the line.

" I'll find out the truth if it is the last thing I do."

* * *

Author's note : I apologize for the late update. I've been working on one of the continuations and was wanting to finish that chapter before I posted an update. This chappie has less Athrun and Kira but that would continue in the next, I decided to focus on other chracters as it would help later. Hope you enjoy this latest.  



	12. Fatal Attraction

Gundam Seed : Chapter Eleven

Fatal Attraction

Cagalli Yula Athha looked around the large room that the council was currently occupying, taking in the red plush carpeting and the soundproofed walls, the armed guards that stood discreetly at the entrance and the long rectangular table that could seat more than what was there before laying her eyes on the twelve council members who were all whispering amongst themselves, talking, making up their minds about what she had just proposed. Cagalli could not help tapping her slim fingers on the table that she was presiding over impatiently, she hated the wait, waiting was something she had never gotten used to as her eyes looked sharply at everyone who was there. Hinata Yui who was sitting beside her made a small gesture with her fingers, and Cagalli nearly snorted as she looked at Hinata with her eyebrows raised.

_Patience? I hate being patient._

Cagalli averted her eyes from Hinata's reproachful ones before settling to staring straight ahead, counting backwards from one hundred. It was the most she could bear and Hinata was right, this was a trivial thing, she is the Representative and therefore able to focus on the matter beforehand with utmost calm instead of being riled up so easily. Cagalli curled her fist tightly for a few seconds before releasing the tension, willing herself to stay calm and hiding the impatience behind an impassive mask that she had three years to perfect. To get worked up over such a trivial thing at the moment was pointless and a waste of energy.

Cagalli would have loved to use her power as the Representative to overrule everybody and be done with it but, she had to be just, this was after all a democratic country and she could not act like it was the total opposite. Her mind wandered back to what had happened earlier, the events that occurred was what was occupying her mind right now and after her call she wanted no more to follow up on that particular job she had asked as a favour from a certain friend she had made during her days on the streets.

_During that war when her father had died._

Blocking that depressing thought from her mind, she cleared her throat slightly, loud enough to gain everybody's attention and to stop the discussions. Evidently, they had made their mind up earlier and were merely using the extra time to gossip and speculate and Cagalli's latest move irking her very much. However, she could not blame them as she had got down to business and disallowed anybody to ask anything till the whole presentation was over, they had been docile, surprisingly, as to the reason why, that was something Cagalli had no time to think about.

" What is the council's decision?" Cagalli asked, her voice strong as she set her amber eyes into a simple stare that included everyone around her, taking in their expressions and observing, trying to come up with a plan if they declined.

" Why the sudden move?" A lazy voice drawled from the back, attracting everybody's attention, a cue for payback.

" Thank you for that question Montage, as I had put it earlier, it is as a way to improve Orb."

" Are you sure?" This time it was General Peter Jones who spoke up.

Cagalli felt unease as she looked at the twelve people surrounding her, they were all staring back at her with something akin to glee in their eyes and even Taylor Madison whom Cagalli had trusted looked away when Cagalli looked at her. The atmosphere in the boardroom was tense as suspense hung in the air, everybody waiting with bated breath for the ax to drop, all knowing something and keeping mum about it.

" What do you mean?" Cagalli asked, feigning innocence as she tried to work out what was wrong, something did not feel right, it was as if the council members knew about what had happened and that they were just stringing her along with their docility.

_What a fool you are Cagalli._

" What he meant was that you are hiding something from us and this seems to be an event that all of us need to be concerned about." Razeef, a Muslim and Orb's PR said from where he sat on Cagalli's left. A soft spoken man with a pleasant smile perpetually plastered on his face, he was a man that most people relaxed around and opened up to, which in that case was an advantage for Orb's intrapersonal relationships but now, it was merely sarcastic and patronizing from Cagalli's point of view. His words made Cagalli pale and she knew for sure that the cat was out of the bag.

" There is nothing to be explained." Hinata immediately objected strongly from the sidelines, sensing danger and wanting to protect the Representative. Her dark eyes flashing dangerously as she stared down at those other council members and was about to say more when with a wave of Cagalli's hand, fell silent. Hinata turned to look at her friend, frowning, wondering why Cagalli had stopped her but realized with a start that Cagalli, pale but with determination written in her eyes was about to tell the council what Lacus Clyne had wanted to do to Orb.

" No.." She protested but stopped in mid sentence when Cagalli shook her head and smiled slightly.

_There is no turning back. The secret is out._

" Are you about to say something Representative? Because we are all ears." Montage Dirge said looking disgusted at Hinata before disregarding her presence and focusing on the Representative, arms wide open encompassing the whole council whom with interested expressions continued to look on at the drama that was enfolding.

_Like hyenas waiting for the victim to die before having a feast._

Cagalli closed her eyes for a moment, feeling the shock reside back to the back of her mind and steeling herself as she regained her composure, she steepled her fingers together before leaning forward as she raked her eyes once again around the whole boardroom. Taking in a deep breath and hoping that her voice would not come out strained, Cagalli started to tell what the council wanted to hear from her own mouth.

Time seemed to slow down as she spoke and not willing to show that she was afraid, Cagalli continued to keep eye contact with the people who were there and as more time passed by, Cagalli noticed the council's eyes widening in response and their eyes turning one by one to stare accusatory at her to what she was currently saying, Cagalli wanted to laugh, throw back her head and laugh loudly for the whole world to hear.

Loudly and bitterly.

_This was what she got after working so hard for her country._

" Oh please." Montage stopped her in mid sentence, rolling his eyes, being the insolent brute that he was. "You are just trying to save yourself, come on the way I see it, the best conclusion to this whole event is that you should just let go of your seat of power and let somebody else handle the whole situation."

Cagalli tried to repress her uprising anger as she stared hard at Montage's smirking face and the heads that were nodding to his suggestion, "Are you challenging my judgment, Montage? Do you think that I do not want to save this country? Or are you trying to imply that maybe that other somebody is you?"

" Oh do please forgive me, Representative, did I say something wrong? I'm acting like a buffoon once again. But..." At this, Montage's eyes gleamed as he continued, " but I'm after all merely saying what I think is true. Lacus Clyne wants Orb, so let her have it. Your father's ideals have expired long long time ago and since you are his daughter, we, the council have decided once and for all that we would like something new."

Cagalli's eyes narrowed dangerously at Montage's speech and could not believe her ears at what she had just heard, " Are you trying to overthrow me, Montage? Are all of you in this as well?"

A heavy silence that threatened to suffocate Cagalli befell the room as all the past fatigue and worries tried to overwhelm her, she could feel her heart racing as everything blanked out from her mind. She felt so tired and helpless, everything was going downhill as time ran out for her and Orb.

_This is not happening. Not when everything she had worked for so long and so hard was about to prosper and grow. Not when the peace that everybody was having now was fruits of her father's ideals, and especially not now when she needed to have the power to protect what she was scared would come true._

" Answer me. Are all of you in this as well? A leader can only be overthrown if and only if three quarters of the council supports that decision and there is evidence on why she is supposed to be fired. Do you all have it and if so, please do not waste anymore time and just get on with it." Cagalli demanded, surprisingly calm.

" Yes. The council voted unanimously." Taylor Madison spoke up out of the blue, the one person Cagalli thought she could trust and would have supported her, " I was the one who collected the votes."

" I see. So you were the one who told the others."

" I was merely doing my job."

" I thought you wanted what was best for Orb? Who else here can lead Orb better?" Cagalli asked, glaring at Taylor who glared back defensively but in the end was no match for the lion cub's determined golden ones.

" Tell me Taylor, is this not what you have wanted for Orb? Peace and it's prospering? Look around you Taylor and tell me that the people in Orb are suffering because of me, tell me if the people are dissatisfied with how I rule."

"….."

" The council has voted, that's the final decision." Montage said hurriedly, noticing Taylor wavering, he could not afford to loose her. She had been the hardest to convince, he had started with Zadie and General Jones, they had used money, lots of it to buy Taylor, bribed her more likely and at the same time threatened her if she did not cooperate they would destroy the lair that she had created for her friends, her so called family.

Those cyber geeks.

Taylor Madison. He had found out her weak spot easy enough and he remembered her flustered expression, the panic when she realized that Montage had been serious, enjoying the terror that came with the panic as she watched the video that he had made personally for her. Those screams, the terrified tears that came and the begging had been so melodious, the fire that threatened to burn the person alive crackling and moving as if it had a life of its own, slowly and surely starting to lick at the victim, tasting him.

The pyre had been made so easily and catching one of them was even easier. They had no defense and he had lured, dangled technology like a carrot in front of them and they had followed him without second thought. The video was a live feed and it was blatantly clear what Montage wanted Taylor to do.

Agree and they live. Oppose and they die.

Taylor had succumbed immediately, screaming and striking at Montage as he played with her, toying with her emotions, taking his sweet time in calling the whole torture off. But, it was so unfortunate that by the time he gave his orders, the person was already burning merrily like a bonfire and they could do nothing to put it off.

But it was not as if they tried hard anyways.

The live feed was the last straw and Taylor had done nothing else but agree, wanting to save her family, not caring about Orb anymore. It was this motherly instinct that Montage loved and he smirked. It was endless, borderless, what women would do for love.

But, he could not succeed without proper backing and the rubbish that everybody thought they were, were the best source of power when push came to shove. It was thanks to Zadie, General Peter Jones and of course their immense wealth that had led to this day.

Realization dawned in Cagalli's eyes, " I see Montage. You bribed the council beforehand haven't you? When did you work on Taylor?"

" What…what…what.. are you talking about?" Montage spluttered pretentiously, his eyes taunting, " Don't throw accusations where you can't prove true, Representative, or should I say ex- Representative?"

" I see that this meeting is over, I shall excuse myself then." Cagalli said calmly, hiding her true emotions where only she could feel the hurt, the betrayal, and the disappointment. She would not cry, not now, not here.

" Be my guest and oh by the way, you are fired. Do have a nice day, ne?"

Cagalli swallowed her barbed retort and before anybody else could say anything else, stood up as regally as possible and walked out of the boardroom with as much dignity she could muster. There was nothing else left except her pride and she was damned if that betrayed her too.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Cagalli Yula Athha, now ex Representative of Orb, slammed the documents that she was holding onto the desk before pacing her office like a trapped golden leopard. Hinata Yui who was following behind looked at her worriedly while the two security guards that were there to escort Cagalli out of the building as the last insult by Montage stood by the door, looking on.

" Miss Athha, I'm afraid that you have fifteen minutes to get what you want and leave." One of the guards spoke up, his brown eyes looking pitifully at the girl in front of him. He was one of the late Uzumi's staunch supporters and was glad that his daughter had lived up to his expectations, keeping the country peaceful and prospering under her rule but now, she was leaving. He had no idea what had conspired behind those close doors and all he knew were Montage's orders. But, by the looks of it, Cagalli was leaving against her own will.

" Damn that bastard." Cagalli spat through clenched teeth, fire raging in her veins, ignoring the people around her, focusing on nothing but her anger. " Kuso!" She cursed as she slammed her fist onto the table, the pain that came with it not registering in her mind. " Kuso!"

_It wasn't supposed to happen like this, how could they, those respected people be bribed into thinking what a man like Montage wanted? How could those people believe the lies that Montage spewed out of his foul mouth? Did they not want peace? Did they not understand by giving in to Lacus, she would win and Orb would no longer be the neutral country it once was?_

Hinata and the guards looked at one another, watching as Cagalli walk furiously towards the window, embarrassed at the display of emotion. The two guards shifted uncomfortably from one foot to another, wanting no more to be elsewhere but Montage orders were absolute. They had families to take care of and by not doing what he wanted guaranteed their walking orders.

" Miss Athha…" The same guard from before opened his mouth but closed it immediately when Hinata shook her head, she herded the both of them out of Cagalli's office, promising them in hushed whispers that she would handle the situation and that they would not get into trouble. Glad that they had an excuse to go, both of them fled but the guard with brown eyes gave one more last lingering look at the teenager whom had been so brave and kind and went.

" Representative…." Hinata ventured.

Cagalli snorted but kept her silence as she continued to look out of the window admiring the view that she knew would no longer be there if Montage got his way. She wanted badly to fight back but there was nothing she could do when the council had voted, it was the rule, nobody wanted a leader who could not control her own council.

_But, did they not realize the consequences? Do they not remember the war? The loss? The pain? The tears? The heartbreak? Have all of them forgotten so fast what it was to lose someone? _

" Representative…" Hinata walked up towards the golden haired girl before laying a comforting hand on the girl's shoulder. " Please do not give up now, there is still so much to do and there are people who are willing to follow your lead if you just ask."

Cagalli gave a harsh, bitter laugh that was bordering on a sob before replying," First off, I'm no longer the Representative and there is nothing to give up anymore. There is so little time and now when Montage is planning to give Orb over to Plants, there is nothing I can do. With no power and no resources, what is there for me to fight back with?"

Hearing Cagalli admit defeat and looking so beaten, Hinata felt her chest constrict and yet there was nothing she could do or say to comfort the disappointed girl as she was helpless herself. Cagalli meant well, she only wanted the best for Orb but dreams would always stay dreams when people like Montage worked for his own benefit, the unfairness of everything angered her but in reality, people with money could make the world turn.

" I've failed you, father. I'm sorry." Closing her eyes, Cagalli whispered brokenly to the room as the rage fizzled out and reality seeped in, she could feel the tears springing up, blurring her vision, as she looked with empty eyes at the room that she had occupied and her father before her. Biting hard on her lip and drawing blood, Cagalli tried to keep the pain inside but a choked sob pulled free and everything came crumbling down as she fell to her knees, hands clutching at her both arms trying to find the support that was not there. Tears fell freely onto the carpet as Cagalli sobbed and Hinata who could not bear it anymore pulled the other girl into a tight hug. Feeling Cagalli's body shake with the emotion that she had been trying so hard to contain inside her, Hinata too could feel the tears come to her eyes and prayed for the first time in her entire life.

_Kami sama, please save this country._

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kira Yamato grimaced as he lowered himself in the bathtub filled with warm water, his muscles protesting painfully at his actions. He hated the after effects of the "symptoms", hated it with a vengeance, but there was nothing he could do except to accept. His body was changing that much he knew but into what he had no idea. He had illusions of himself becoming somebody with an extra pair of hands, extra limbs that dangled and scared everyone out of their wits, slobber dripping uncontrolled from a limp mouth, but what terrified him the most was him losing his mind, his wits.

It was bad enough when his friends in university found out that he was a Coordinator, earning him at times hushed whispers behind his back and instant silence when he appeared. He was one of the younger students in his class and quite a few had questioned his identity but Kira had merely smiled and allowed them to make their own conclusions, imagine the hoorah that would be created if he turned up a monster.

However, he would be kidding himself if he still thought that he was still cocooned in the peace that was previously there, it had left him when he had entered the science competition under his friends' persuasion, his classmates had come up to him to cheer him on, the attention had been pleasing, but what was unexpected was them winning. Kira knew their project was good, but he had not expected it to be the best as they had been competing internationally, with many other experienced veterans there. Lady Luck had really been on their side the whole time through and now when it was all over, Lady Luck had left him dry.

The hype surrounding the whole event had destroyed his thoughts of having a peaceful existence in university, his name was plastered in the newspapers, people he had no idea existed wanted to take pictures with him, wanted his autograph. It had been amusing in the first place, but later it had became irritating and now it was definitely condemning. He had no idea whatsoever that winning could promote him from Mr nobody to stardom.

But, Kira knew for a fact the main reason why he was being put on the pedestal as a semi god. It was the fact that he was a Coordinator and the other two in his group were Naturals. Many out there have this notion that it was him that had personally made the whole project the success that it was, most of them think that being a Coordinator, he was, no is, more superior than his group mates and that made them useless. Before all this happened, he had no qualms of admitting that he was a Coordinator, not here in Orb, but memories of the war made him wary, he did not want people to look at him with jealousy and fingers pointed whenever he ended up on top of his class and so he had voluntarily kept his being a Coordinator a secret.

Not that it had been any help now.

Flay Allaster and Sai Argyle, the two other friends he had made during his class in science were ignoring him just because the media were highlighting his achievements more than they were on them which was of course complete nonsense. He had tried to explain that it was not his fault that they were interested in him being a Coordinator, that his genes were better than the rest of them, he had not voluntarily chose the way for him to be born, but they refused to listen, wanting no more to listen to their own pettiness. He hated that feeling and lately, the loneliness was becoming too much to bear, especially when they, the two most popular students on campus were trying to make his life difficult. Kira now knew what it was to be on the receiving end of hostility, he had learnt the hard way to never underestimate the power of popularity, the consequences was not what a normal human being could endure. He had not told Nicol about his recent fate in university not wanting him to worry more than he had to and if Kira thought that was bad, what Nicol told him later was even worst. He would have preferred being a social outcast any time of the day, but now being forced to assume a role as the next superhero and a social outcast was something he had not signed up for. For that matter, he had no idea how to cope and not a clue what in the world his powers were. They were not manifesting themselves anytime soon and the only things as proof that they existed was the pain he had to endure every once in a while.

Frowning, Kira's body tensed again when he remembered the earlier assault, the pain was getting more and more intense and he was afraid that one day, even the medication would no longer work. The effects of the small vial was taking a longer time now to play its role and sighing, Kira sank deeper into the water until it covered all of him. He closed his eyes as he tried to relax, holding his breath under water for as long as he could, not knowing the reason as to this self torture before he resurfaced, gasping loudly for breath. Brushing away the brown locks of fringe that stuck to his face as the water dripped freely onto his body and back into the tub, Kira leant back onto the curved back, allowing himself to enjoy the water, letting time to pass by, emptying his mind of everything, just relaxing, something that he had not been able to do since the beginning of something akin to a nightmare.

_Emerald eyes watching him fall._

Kira's closed eyes popped open as his heart skipped a beat and he could feel a blush creep up onto his cheeks, the thought of him thinking about another was a bit embarrassing and he was a boy no less. Kira was definitely not somebody who fell for beauty, there were many beautiful people around in his university, each and every one of them vying for his attention after that dreaded competition but it was that something that Kira saw behind the beauty, something haunting, ethereal, and not to mention the sadness that surrounded the other boy's presence. Kira had no idea why he thought the other sad, but Kira could sense underneath the cool exterior was something that nobody else saw and that mysterious quality made him want to find out more. Blue haired, tall, slim, with that aristocratic elegance, Athrun was no doubt lusted and adored from both near and afar, and that thought somehow made Kira's heart constrict within his chest.

_Is this what you call jealousy?_

A sudden knocking on the bathroom door woke him up from his musings as Nicol's familiar voice called from the other side of the door, " Kira, are you all right in there?"

" Yes. I'll be out soon. Sorry." Kira shouted sheepishly back, he had no idea he had been in the bathroom that long, but it was evident from the cold water that he had. Blocking and pushing all thoughts of the other teenager he had met earlier, he quickly rinsed off and stepped out of the bathtub. He had no time thinking about things other than school and his imminent fate. Dragging somebody like Athrun was unethical and he had no desire to bring innocent bystanders into a war that he did not even know what it was all about.

Sighing, Kira dried himself as fast as his aching muscles allowed him to before stepping out of the bathroom and into the air conditioned room, feeling the chill instantly. He noticed Nicol sitting on the bed and he smiled apologetically at his companion's slight frown, but said nothing. Nicol worried too much at times but Kira had no heart to say anything anytime soon, the selfishness of wanting to keep everything to himself a trait he had never tried to change. He grabbed his clothes from the chair that Nicol had laid it out on and went back into the bathroom to change, a heavy silence filling the whole room. It was slightly uncomfortable but there was nothing Kira had in mind to say and he was fine with the quietness.

_Emerald green eyes._

Kira's lips quirked up into a slightly ironic smile as he pulled on his shirt, trying not to think about something that intrigued him was akin to being hungry and not eating what was in front of him. Athrun was staying here, he knew that when Elizabeth had mentioned in passing when they had booked their rooms. Maybe it was fate that allowed them to meet, although how much that four lettered word played a part in anything was something Kira did not care much about as he was much more a believer of cold hard facts than something as unrealistic, vague and distant a notion of what would and should happen.

As if knowing what the younger boy was thinking, Nicol's hand touched lightly on Kira shoulder as he appeared behind him in the bathroom, he was not one to not say what was on his mind," Don't even think about it Kira."

Pretending that he did not understand what Nicol was talking about, Kira turned around to face his friend with wide eyed innocence before asking, " What are you talking about? Don't think about what?"

" You know what I'm talking about, Kira. He's not somebody you can actually be with." Nicol said, his voice hard, eyes slightly accusing. He had known Kira practically his whole life, it was not hard to know what the brown haired boy was thinking and Kira was not a good liar, in fact, he was not at all someone who could lie at all.

But, more importantly, Nicol had been handed a responsibility to protect Kira by Meng sensei and he was not about to go against Meng's wishes. However, that would be unfair to Kira if he put it that way since it was not responsibility that kept Nicol there, it was because he loved Kira, he was the younger brother that he did not have and that was why he had to make sure that Kira was safe and sound. And so, it was up to him, it was in fact his duty to stop everything before anything could happen.

" I really don't understand what you are talking about, you have to be more specific." Kira challenged back, violet eyes staring unblinking at Nicol. Kira understood that Nicol was his guardian and there was no denying the fact that he was the one who looked out for him every time, but this time, he had no idea why Nicol was so adamant about him and Athrun. What's more, it was not as if Kira even knew that guy, he had barely even talked to him, and the only one thing he knew about that teen was his name.

Nicol frowned at Kira, his face grim, " Athrun. You have to stay away from him, you understand that much right?"

" Why are you so against that person? According to you, he saved me, why is it that I can't befriend somebody who saved my life?"

" Are you sure that the only thing that you want is friendship?"

Shocked, Kira stared at Nicol, " What is that supposed to mean?"

" You tell me Kira. But stay away from him, that's all I want to say, it's up to you to listen but this is my warning to you. You've seen Yvette's reaction and his, he doesn't even recognize his own mother and I don't doubt that he's armed, his reaction to everything is too controlled, too calculating. He's been trained, Kira, and I don't know why he is here but Yvette knew Patrick and his presence here seems too coincidental."

Silence filled the air once again as Kira, finding nothing to say, merely looked mutely at Nicol before nodding reluctantly. What he said made sense and although Kira hated to admit it, there was too much of truth in Nicol's statement but he did not want to give up so easily. There was so much hidden, buried deeply where no one else could see unless they dug deep, and Kira's heart, no matter what Nicol had just said, whispered to him to search under that exterior, to give that teenager a chance. He did not know why he was so interested or why he wanted to know more either, it was an instinct, a craving to know and not to mention an attraction that he could not deny.

Nicol sighed inwardly at Kira's expression, the steely, determined look in his violet eyes that gave away what Kira was thinking. Nicol hated to know that Kira was about to go against his advice, but knowing Kira, he had to let him burn for him to learn. At times, it was the only way, but, Nicol had a very bad feeling, his sixth sense telling him that he had to stop them no matter what. Nicol did not understand why he was so wary with this teenager as usually it was Kira who was the one who worried, who was the wary, quiet, observant one, but now in this case, it was the total opposite.

Nicol could see the attraction between the both of them, he would be a certified blind if he could not. He had noticed Kira's violet orbs when they were still in the same room, they could not help looking at the other raven haired teenager even if Kira had tried to hide it and looked when he thought no one was looking, while the other was more daring, more blatant in his interest. Athrun had been eyeing Kira with a want that made Nicol nervous. The kiss was more proof of what Athrun intended, it was unneeded, there were other more conventional ways but instead Athrun had chosen that specific way and Nicol was damned if he got Athrun's intention wrong.

Nicol left Kira alone in the bathroom to brood over what he had just said and Kira, relieved that Nicol was no longer behind him allowed himself to relax. He hated it when Nicol was right but this time he was not about to blindly follow orders, Kira was feeling extremely rebellious since this was the only thing that he could choose. He could not choose to be born a Natural, he could not choose to be an ordinary person, but maybe, maybe he could choose to be attracted to this stranger. To hell with the consequences, he just needed a little respite from everything, and this would be a short fling, one of the shortest he know, since he would be leaving within a few days, after Nicol gets his information from Yvette.

Making up his mind, Kira felt a burden lifted from his shoulders, not thinking and just heading for it straight on was dangerous but it was easier on the brain, he did not want to think about the matter any longer, he had been thinking too much for too long. Smiling as he looked at himself in the mirror, he wondered if he would bump into Athrun later and allowed himself to fantasize like an idiot about what he could say. Deciding to take a walk later in the night and wanting to check on Yvette, Kira not knowingly sealed his own fate by taking this one reckless step.

The one reckless step towards a fatal attraction.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was two hours after dinner, when Kira still feeling extremely bloated from the scrumptious dinner that Elizabeth had prepared had excused himself from the room both Nicol and he were staying in. Sleepily, Nicol had volunteered to come with him but Kira had insisted that he was all right alone and politely declined. He wanted some time alone and Nicol was tired from the looks of the number of yawns during dinner merely nodded, putting up no fuss as Kira had expected that he would.

Shrugging on his jacket that he had hung over the chair earlier, Kira walked down the hallway, pausing to look at the pictures that adorned the wall. He paused when he saw the picture that contained the lone sakura tree and for some strange reason felt sad. The picture seemed so lonely although it was peaceful, it seemed perfect for a place to rest finally, but the leaves that fell seemed like tears that cried for the lost life, the lost time, floating desolately down blown by the gentle wind, slowly, slowly before settling at the bottom of the tree, caressing the ground and was fated to rot as time passed by.

Touching the picture, he wondered what the photographer had been thinking, what had prompted him or her to capture this picture and where had this sakura tree been, why had it been alone, wondering if it was anywhere nearby, feeling a desire to visit it. Kira gave it one last look, making up his mind to ask Elizabeth about it later and continued on his journey out.

Stepping out into the cool night and shivering as the warmth of the building left him, Kira pulled the jacket closer to his body before starting to walk. The night was clear as the moonlight shone down, dappling the surfaces and providing the light Kira needed to find his way. It was quiet with only the sound of the crickets nearby, and the crisp night air was refreshing, his body had adapted to the cold and following the path towards Yvette's cottage, Kira was enjoying the night walk. Mid way though, he caught sight of a familiar figure walking briskly, hands in pockets, in the precise same direction and he stopped in surprise.

_Athrun?_

Realizing that it was the teenager that he had been fantasizing about before, Kira felt the heat rise to his face and his heart started to beat faster as nervousness overcame him. He had wanted to meet Athrun but thinking it and it happening was so much different; in his illusions he was cool, calm, collected and could hold any conversation with any stranger without any qualms, but in reality it was a totally different thing. He would be thankful if he did not have him fainting at Athrun's feet once again.

However, on second thought, Kira's forehead creased to form a slight frown as he puzzled onto the reason why Athrun was here in the first place at this time of night. Yvette had specifically wanted them to leave so why is he here again? It was after all because of him that Yvette became so emotional, if Kira had not heard wrongly, Yvette had seemed to know Athrun during that short conversation when all three of them were in the same room and Nicol did say that Athrun was Yvette's son. To Kira, everything was progressing at an abnormal speed, rushing towards an end that seemed hell bent on destruction.

_But, you are here, maybe he's here with the same motive, to see if she's all right._

Kira shook his head to clear the train of thoughts and decided to find out for himself personally, it was a waste of time if he just merely speculated and made conclusions that had no basis. Walking as quietly as he could as to not attract attention, he waited till Athrun was in front of the cottage and was about to go in but before he could continue, Athrun turned around suddenly as if sensing somebody's else presence which prompted Kira to duck instantly behind one of the trees that thankfully were there, praying hard that he would not be detected. Somehow, his instincts told him that there were things that were about to enfold and if he was there, they would be thwarted.

A few minutes passed as one searched and the other hid before Athrun satisfied that it was just the wind went on with his business. His hand snaked behind his back out of habit, checking, before he knocked, twice that resounded in the silent night. Kira, whom was nearby heard the sounds clearly and waited with bated breath, counting slowly from one to ten, giving Athrun and Yvette time for both of them to react to Athrun's presence before he himself came out from hiding.

Creeping slowly towards the cottage, Kira did not know that it was about to be a night where hidden secrets were about to be revealed.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yvette Carpenter stood silently by the open window, her solitary shadow, the only accompaniment she had growing long behind her as the light filtered out of the skies. Soon, it would be dark and she knew that he would come soon. Dinner at Elizabeth's bed and breakfast was at seven, she would be expecting his company around nine or so. The moon was beautiful, hanging in the sky pale and alone like her, the normally bright stars that blinked and winked at her when she stared outside nowhere to be seen.

Yvette allowed the images of him to flood through her brain, numbing herself towards the coldness of his eyes whenever she remembered his face. He had grown into such a handsome boy, he had always had the beauty surrounding him but now it was honed to a deadly combination. His innocence, long ago plastered so carefree on his face was gone, hidden, shielded by the stone walls that she could see that he had erected around himself. For protection? In order to stay alive? Yvette wondered and knew for sure that it was indeed for those exact reasons those walls were there. Her heart ached with the pain of a mother who had never been there for her son, the tears she had hidden from everyone glimmering unshed in her eyes.

_How had his life been those few years? Had he cried for her? Had he missed her?_

Yvette wiped the moisture from her eyes with the back of her hand, she had no right to cry when she had been the one who had betrayed her son. She had no right to question his memories of her, who would want to remember a person who had left them to fend for themselves? Her emerald eyes were shadowed by an internal anguish and the forever regret of her past actions as she stared hollowly, emptily out into the scenery that had soothed her before not too long ago, remembering a long ago past that she had forsaken because of her cowardice and selfishness, her conscience coming back with a vengeance drumming into her what haunted her every night and day without fail.

"_Mommy? Are we going somewhere?" A three year old asked sleepily from where he had fallen asleep on the bed, awakened by the noise Yvette generated from her fear._

" _No, baby, mommy's going away for awhile." Yvette whispered, her face a mask of terror as she looked back upon her shoulder frequently to check if Patrick was anywhere near her. He had finally made up his mind to kill her as he had personally, gleefully told her when he had paused her before she went upstairs, that her usage was up and that Athrun would no longer need her. He had laughed, no cackled like a madman as he walked out the door, leaving her trembling at the stairways. Never in her life had she been so afraid, so scared. She had never wanted to die, even if she was trapped here, she did not want death, she was not willing to go down just like that. _

_Athrun sensing something was wrong, pushed himself into an upright position, sleep immediately gone from his eyes as he stared at her with those brilliant jewels, widening as time passed by as he watched on in confusion while Yvette hurriedly stuffed everything that she had into the duffel that she had along with her. Her hand paused at the picture frame that contained the lone photo that she had with her son, trembling as she tried to make up her mind on whether to take it or not. However, the sound of footsteps made her skip the object and grabbed at things that were more important than mere sentiment._

" _Mommy? Where are you going? Has Athrun been bad? You are not bringing Athrun along as well?" He asked tearfully, his three year old mentality allowing himself only to be able to ask, not understanding why his mother was acting so distant, so cold._

_Athrun's question made her stop, his innocent confusion tearing her heart apart. She turned around to look at her child, her baby, eyes softening as she pulled him into a warm embrace, the last one she knew she was able to give him. She loved him but at the same time she loved life more, she knew she had time to escape tonight, she had taken the necessary steps to do so. Poisoning Patrick had been out of the question, he was too cautious a person but she knew the weakness of the device he used to test his food before consuming it. He trusted no one and she knew that she had to be careful._

" _Mommy don't go, please? Don't leave me alone. I promise that I would be better, so don't go ne? I don't want to be alone with him…he scares me." Athrun's small voice spoke up from her bosom, his eyes staring forlornly at hers, pleading with her, begging her not to go and if she did decide to go to bring him along. Yvette's eyes glimmered with tears as she tried hard to blink them back, Athrun's small hand lifted up from where he was to brush away those runaways, softly, gently, knowing that he could hurt his mother if he put more strength. His actions made Yvette's resolve waver, but the hate that she had before overpowered everything._

_It was because of this child that her lover was dead. It was because of this child that she was trapped here. It was also because of this child that so many others were dead._

_Yvette's nodded mutely with averted eyes, comforting the young child but not daring to look, eyes hardening perceptibly. She could not afford to take him, he was a hindrance, he would be the one pulling her down, people would notice him. Who wouldn't? With his angelic looks, he was bound to attract unwanted attention. She would have to leave him behind, she hated the thought that Patrick would have the son she had brought up, loved and hated with all her heart. However, survival instincts overcame her motherly instincts and she hardened her heart towards his innocence eyes staring so heartbroken and trusting at her. _

_Forgive me Athrun, but this time. Let me be free of everything._

And so, she had left her baby alone to fend for himself at the mouth of the monster.

Yvette regretted her decision almost immediately when she had turned back that night to see his pale face staring out of the window as she ran away, hand on the windowpane, stretching out to her, hoping that her would once again take his hand and save him. She had been his last hope.

And yet, she had deserted him.

Yvette had known that he had not cried, but she knew that he had been in his heart, that betrayal killing everything. She forced herself to push away the image but that face had never stopped haunting her from then on. She, as a mother had allowed her selfishness and hatred to overcome what her heart told her to do. Her logic finally telling her what she had refused to admit when she was there.

_Athrun was the only thing that kept her alive those few years._

Not only had she blamed her fate on an innocent young child, she had allowed that monster to eat her baby alive, swallowing everything and spitting out merely a shadow of the boy that had been so inquisitive, so alive. The present Athrun she saw was no longer that young boy from her memories, he was a living, breathing human that looked like him but there was nothing humanly on him. He was akin to a dead man walking, a boy living on time that was no longer his to live. His life, Yvette knew, was Patrick's, the choices, the path paved for him, everything was done by that devil and Athrun, had no choice but to follow in order to stay alive.

Yvette understood very well how Patrick hated rubbish. He was willing to sacrifice everything in order for him to create this one perfect specimen, and Patrick would force anybody around him to live at that furious, relentless pace till nothing was left of the other. Her baby was the living proof of his evilness but Yvette knew that she had no right to put the blame on him alone, she was the one who had left him there and for that she would accept whatever price, whatever punishment that Athrun had come to put on her. She had no doubt that Patrick had finally found her, even after all those years and Athrun was the judge and punisher.

"_Are you trying to die?"_ Elizabeth had asked her once, long ago when she had not been able to crawl out of the hole that she had created for herself. She still remembered her answer as clearly as it was yesterday.

"_No," _She had said, eyes vacant and empty as she stared in front of her, "_ I'm not worthy of dying and I'm not trying to look for death, instead, I'm waiting for death to come."_

And what she had said then was true, she had worn most of her life away, worn herself away, searching and searching for the one thing that she thought could make her forget everything in the past. But, nothing could change the past, nothing could change the facts that had happened. At a certain point, she knew she should have stopped living, stopped breathing, stopped hoping for the day that her son would come and forgive her, but she could not give up on life, not yet, that hope that Athrun could come and get her was too precious to give up on.

_To see him smile that beautiful smile once again._

A slight movement outside caught her attention, Yvette squinted her eyes to try to see better and a shadow slowly emerged from the pathway that connected her small cottage to the main building. Yvette looked at the clock, noting the time and her face softened into a small smile, sad but it also contained the relief of someone who had been carrying a heavy burden for so many years and was finally able to face up to what they have done wrong. Her waiting had finally come to an end and the death that she had been waiting for for so long was finally here, right at her front doorstep.

Opening the front door, two pairs of emerald eyes looked at each other and Yvette said softly to the teenager standing in front of her, " Welcome, my son."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Author's note: What's about to be revealed between Yvette and Athrun? Would Athrun remember his own mother and accept her? What would Kira find out and would there be any consequences? As the saying goes, curiousity kills the cat.


	13. Dead Memories

_**Creeping slowly towards the cottage, Kira did not know that it was about to be a night where hidden secrets were about to be revealed.**_

" _**Be my guest and oh by the way, you are fired. Do have a nice day, ne?"**_

_**Opening the front door, two pairs of emerald eyes looked at each other and Yvette said softly to the teenager standing in front of her, " Welcome, my son."**_

Gundam Seed :Chapter Twelve

Dead Memories

Cagalli Yula Athha sniffled once before wiping the excess tears that streaked down her face with the back of her hand, still in the embrace of her best friend, Hinata Yui. More than a bit embarrassed at her display of emotion, she pushed softly at Hinata, her amber eyes willing to look anywhere except the other's obsidian ones. Understanding her, Hinata allowed her hands to drop, as Cagalli stood up stiffly while the other looked on. And what she saw made her frown. Cagalli had always been described as slender, but right now since the start of the nightmarish episode, she was downright thin, her well fitting uniform now hanging loosely at her frame, the dark eye circles under her eyes further proof that her friend was not having it easy.

Being a representative had both benefits and consequences, sure they were rich and they were influential, but only if they were good and if the people supported them. However, on the other hand, the workload that came with the job was astronomical, the documents itself enough to bury Orb twice times over, not to mention the red tape that hindered efficiency when time was lacking. Most of the leaders are sleep deprived, working on overdrive every time something came up, not wanting to waste precious moments that could have ended up in a better way. Cagalli was used to getting on four hours of sleep before needing to wake up for the start of a new day. They were bosses who could not give themselves a day off.

Three years ago, during the inauguration, Hinata watched on with gladness and pride and yet apprehension as her childhood friend took up the oath of protecting Orb in any way she could. Even though, she knew instinctively unlike the other members of the council that Cagalli would lead Orb well despite her youth and inexperience, she worried for Cagalli's health. Cagalli was a workaholic, she had high hopes for herself, both stemmed from her pride and her father's hope in her, she had tackled her tasks diligently, never complained and never grumbled, just accepted and worked on like a horse which was excellent material for Orb but disastrous on her physical and mental wellbeing.

And now, what was left of her was her shattered dreams and tattered hopes. It was unfair this world, Hinata thought, it was terribly and horribly unfair. However, Hinata was not one to dwell on circumstances she could not change, she would accept it and find a solution to it in due time, for now, she was more worried about Cagalli's fate. No longer the Representative, she had no privileges, her house, her car everything would be retracted by the council and knowing Cagalli, she would have no other place to go.

More troubling were the things that Cagalli was hiding from her. Hinata knew about the unexplainable "situations" that happened to Cagalli and noticed the dark eye shadows that only became darker with the passing time but every time Hinata brought up the subject, Cagalli always changed it or silenced her with a glare. In the past, Hinata had suspected that the young girl was not used to the workload that was suddenly dumped in her lap and concluded that was the main reason of her sleeplessness. Hinata had responded to that problem by working even harder to reduce that workload, but now she was not so sure, but not wanting to intrude on the other's privacy she had restrained herself from asking that important question.

Walking towards her desk, Cagalli opened and closed drawers, taking out the important items that she would bring home with her, placing them into the boxes that the security guards had been kind enough to provide. Her movements perfunctory and curt, Cagalli went on about her task of cleaning her office space with an efficiency that only tore at Hinata's heart. Unwilling to merely sit there and watch as Cagalli went about her job stoically, Hinata stood up too and brushed at her skirt before heading towards Cagalli and lent her a helping hand.

Both girls worked on in silence till everything in the office that Cagalli occupied was reduced to two piles. The important/needed and the unimportant/trash. Cagalli glanced at the growing pile of unimportant items and looked away instantly, afraid of what those certain things lying desolately on the floor would evoke. Those were souvenirs, momentos of the past three years, things that had been proof of the successes that she had achieved. But, they were of no use now. Those had proved to be as valuable as yesterday's news, those were results that people remembered only for an instant.

" What do you plan to do now?" Hinata asked pulling Cagalli's attention away from her train of thoughts. Her question prompted Cagalli's movements to stop, it was a harsh reminder of what had just happened, the stopped tears surfacing immediately, but Cagalli blinked them back furiously as she resumed her actions and continued to separate what she needed and what she did not. The question lingered uncomfortably in the air like a rain cloud, dark and ominous, something nobody could ignore but both did or at least tried to.

Cagalli's thoughts wandered off, triggered by that particular question, but her hands did not stop. Multitasking had been part and parcel of the training by her father and had to be ingrained since young, it saved time and allowed more to be used in other aspects.

_What are you to do now? Where are you to go?_

Cagalli had not intended to be rude, not because she did not trust Hinata, but as she did not have an answer to that question herself, there was no way she could tell Hinata her plans. Working on, her eyes scanning every document that came in hand, she pondered what to do with the official ones that had yet to be sanctified by her and the ones that had been approved. What would become of this office? Of this country? She wondered whether the projects that were currently ongoing, the rebuilding of certain parts of Orb that had yet to be done because of the war, the tight budget. Everything that she thought of brought more hopelessness into her, she had done so little and so much more had to be done, but before she could continue, she came to a particular certificate and photograph, it was a crudely made handwritten one, but the message had been relayed loudly and clearly.

_Thank you for giving us a chance._

_Lacus Clyne._

Cagalli's hand tightened considerably on the certificate as her amber eyes bored a hole through the photograph. It had been taken right after the war before the two girls had to leave each other for their own respective homes and lives. They had been each other's comfort and support those days when Lacus's father had died and Cagalli father's untimely demise. Cagalli wondered, not for the first time, what had happened to that girl, to the friend she knew. But wondering alone was enough, she had to find out and to find a way to actually save Orb from the sidelines.

Cagalli was so caught up in her own world that when her cell phone vibrated in the pocket of her uniform, it nearly scared her witless. Dropping the photograph that she had been holding in order to get to her phone, she cursed to herself silently and dipped her hands into her pocket for it. Pulling it out, she gave a quick glance to the cell's screen that was lit up and noticing the number on the call screen which registered in her brain that it was unlisted and unknown in her call list, she frowned with suspicion but picked it up anyways. She had an idea who was calling but she had to be sure.

" Cagalli." Her tone was brisk, professional when she answered, but when the other spoke, her features brightened considerably and her voice became much warmer. Hinata threw a curious glance at Cagalli, and kept her ears open for anything information that came her way. She did not mean to intrude on a private conversation but nobody could blame her for being protective. No one except her had Cagalli's number and the people who managed to call on that cell phone was limited and those who warranted the way Cagalli was currently treating the other was either family or incredibly dear to Cagalli.

" Thank you. I appreciate your help." Nodding a few more times before ending the conversation and snapping her cell phone shut, Cagalli turned towards Hinata with eyes that bore more resemblance to the past Cagalli than before. Cagalli chuckled slightly at Hinata's dubious expression before packing with a renewed gusto. She would offer an explanation to Hinata later. However, one thing was sure, she had found what she was about to do next and it would start just on the outskirts of the city.

Elizabeth's bed and breakfast, the mysterious brown hair boy, she would be meeting with them soon.

" I'm ready, let's go."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Groaning a little, Dearkka Elsman tried to work out the kinks that had been placed there because of the flight to Orb, rolling his neck from side to side, stretching his body, to relieve the tension the bumpy ride had given him. He cursed silently, gritting his teeth against the uncomfortable sensation his body was sending him, ignoring the other muttered grumbles of the other passengers behind him, taking his own sweet time before grabbing at the overhead compartment where his belongings were stored. Successfully achieving his goal, he slumped back involuntarily into the overly cramped seat and waited till the other passengers, equally harassed and worn out trudge wearily towards the exit of the shuttle.

Personally, he hated crowded places. He hated it even more when he was stuck in it with nowhere to go. It gave him a closed in feeling, like a trapped animal. He felt extremely claustrophobic. None had ever expected that about him, he was rowdy, he was confident, he was loud but never afraid. However, Miriallia Haww and Yzak knew better even though Dearkka hated to admit it but was thankful they understood, it was tiring to keep up a pretence for too long. Acting tough was a lot of work.

" We are here." Yzak Joule said, not without a hint of amazement in his voice as his blue eyes looked out of the window, his eyes hungrily taking in the scene before him as he felt an excitement growing in him, a feeling long dormant in him. Orb was totally different from Colony 5, the airport itself was a mixture of both modern and the past, both designed to mix perfectly in order not to intimidate the visitors and to provide maximum comfort. On the other hand, the shuttle was dirty, grimy, it was the best they could afford without having to burn a hole in their pockets and it made Yzak feel as if he was scum-- he felt ashamed to be alighting from this shuttle and that particular feeling dampened the current wild joy.

At the sound of Yzak's voice, Dearkka turned to look, and for the life of him could not figure out why Yzak was not as frazzled as he was. In fact, in all honesty, Yzak still looked the perfect mannequin, every strand of silver hair in place and that angelic face was not lined with tiredness, in fact he looked perfectly well rested and ready to face anything that came his way. Dearkka muttered obscene words under his breath, looking darkly at Yzak which said person found extremely amusing, he was grateful for Dearkka, it provided him with something else to think about.

" What are you glaring about? It's not jealousy rearing it's ugly head is it?" Yzak teased, his mood returning. He was in a new place where opportunities abound, he was a step further away from Patrick, from where he had to come to hate, and definitely closer to forgetting his past and he would not allow his depression on how he came spoil it. He could achieve it here, he just knew it, in fact, he would be successful here, earn big money and have all the luxuries that was denied to him before. He would seek revenge on his previous tormentor and enjoy as he became the hunter. Thinking about it made him salivate, he could not wait for that day to come, that one beautiful day. Yzak licked his lips in anticipation, eyes gleaming dangerously as he fantasized what he would do to Patrick Zala, he would make sure he made it here, it was a pact he made with his soul.

Looking on, Dearkka noticed the change of expression and could not keep his eyes of the other male. Yzak was a damn good looking creature and the life in his eyes now merely served to heighten his attractiveness, the determination pulling Dearkka deeper and deeper into his eyes. On its own accord, Dearkka's hand lifted to pull Yzak roughly into his vicinity, and Yzak caught off guard gave a startled yelp before it was drowned out by Dearkka's own lips. Yzak struggled for a moment, but Dearkka was insistent, his mouth plundering Yzak's own, tongue licking and searching for the entrance for deeper treasures and finally Yzak gave in and responded, giving Dearkka more than he bargained.

A guttural moan of pleasure arose in Dearkka's throat as Yzak broke off the kiss and started working on the sensitive part of him, his tongue flicking out to delicately lick and caress his neck, nipping and sucking occasionally. However, this little heaven was rudely interrupted when somebody cleared their throat loudly before snickering aloud. Both boys drew back instantly from each other, it was almost comical. However, the mortification turned quickly into irritation, and both glared at the interuptee who shrugged and shuffled away.

" Get a room, fruitcakes." Was his parting line and Dearkka was barely able to stop Yzak from killing the guy from fury. However, despite that particular unfortunate incident, Dearkka was highly satisfied and it showed on his face, he looked like the proverbial cat who had just eaten the canary for dessert and Yzak was immediately irked by it. He ignored Dearkka's laughing violet eyes and lifted his hand to smooth back his now messed up hair before getting up.

" Get a move on, asshole." He snarled vehemently and his tone warned Dearkka not to make even a sound, if he even squeaked, Yzak would gladly use that opportunity to release some of the pent up energy he had gathered and was not able to let go.

Smirking and unafraid, Dearkka stood up and kissed Yzak full on the mouth just for the fun of it before walking out of the now empty shuttle, calmly as he whistled a jolly tune, leaving a stunned Yzak. When he finally came to his senses, Yzak spluttered incoherently for a while, his eyes unbelieving, before his reaction kicked in.

" Dearkka!"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was nearing nine when Cagalli finally reached Hinata's penthouse. Hinata drove while Cagalli whiled away her time during the entire journey reading through certain reports that she had illegally smuggled out, one of them the regular information about the activities in the Clyne Company. Both of them had decided that Hinata continued to work in the Orb administration, they had no doubt that she would no longer hold that high a position, however, it was essential that Cagalli stayed abreast of the conditions in the council, what Cagalli was currently worried about was that Hinata would be fired with no reason, but, Hinata had calmed her down.

" We are here." Hinata said before deftly manoeuvring her car into her designated parking space-- every resident here was allotted two. She had bought this condo a few years back, it was pricey but definitely worth it. The penthouse offered an unhindered view of Orb and the view during night was breathtaking. Her father had left her a substantial amount of money and so did her mother. Both were rich people before they married and had increased their wealth by excellent instincts in investing during their matrimony. Both of them had passed away during the war, victims of an unfortunate bombing.

Getting out of the car, Hinata popped open the trunk of her car and Cagalli took out whatever that was inside. It was not much, she had collected her clothes from her house before coming here, toiletries, everything that she needed was packed neatly into one luggage. She felt no sentiment for her house, it was not hers in the first place, the mansion merely a beautifully decorated cage for the trapped lioness. However, there was a place that she had spent most of her time in, either unwinding or trying to think and it was the one place in that entire mansion that she sorely felt its loss—her library.

The library was merely a room but it was where she had felt most comfortable, she even missed the fireplace where she had never been able to light a fire without throwing a tantrum. Thinking about it brought a wry smile to her otherwise solemn face. She wondered briefly what would happen to the extensive collection of books that her father had left behind for her, painstakingly taken care in order to keep them in tip top quality and smothered that thought, it did not help her current condition if she was depressed by things such as this.

What she lost, she would gain back. And what she had sustained, whatever damage mentally or physically she would pay it back double. She promised herself, vengeance, her father had taught her was unnecessary, and Cagalli agreed. Yet, this was one time she could not forgive, because this time, it involved not only her, it included the whole vast population of Orb and for them, she would fight back.

Before she left the Orb building earlier this afternoon, a man whom she had not recognized had stopped her and passed her a note, it was simple but its contents moved her. It did not matter that she was now no longer the Representative, because just as Hinata said, she would stay the Representative in many people's hearts. They have not given up on her and there were many who supported her and would come to her aid if she ever needed it. There was a list of people included in the small envelope with the note and it was especially dangerous if it had fallen into Peter's hands but they were confident and they were unafraid. And for that, Cagalli owed them to not give up.

" Cagalli sama?" Hinata called out softly, " Cagalli sama, are you all right?"

" Hmm? Yes I'm all right." Cagalli said, smiling warmly at the girl beside her. Hinata nodded once before leading the way towards the entrance of the building where a guard stood sentry. The security in this place was extremely tight and Cagalli could understand why, the rich and famous of Orb stayed here. Not to mention, there had been an assassination attempt earlier during the month, a jealous ex trying to get back at the fiancée who ditched her for somebody younger, prettier, richer. The ending of that tragic story was unknown and Cagalli did not bother to find out, she had been too busy to be particular to things like this.

" Early today Hinata san." The guard gave a cheerful greeting, he was a short, portly man with a smile that stretched from ear to ear. He was friendly and talkative and Hinata accustomed to him nodded and smiled before introducing Cagalli.

" George, I will have a visitor staying with me for an unidentified period of time…"

" The Representative! Welcome, welcome. My name's George. Nice to meet you! I'm a fan of yours, you and your leadership, you have done your father Lord Uzumi proud…" George blabbered on, tears pooling in his eyes as he continued on, touched that the person he had admired the most was here, in front of him, totally unaware of the look that Hinata was throwing him but Cagalli did not mind, she merely nodded and smiled back, thanking George. Hinata afraid that his unabashed emotions affected Cagalli ushered her thankfully into the elevator that had "dinged" its presence too long for her liking and bid a hurried goodbye to George who was still standing there awestruck.

" I did not mind, in fact, I actually appreciated it, he reminded me why I had to protect Orb no matter what happens. It's what I was born to do, its what I have to do." Cagalli smiled at Hinata who returned the favour and both of them rode to the top in silence. Nothing needed to be spoken between the two fast friends, they understood each other well enough to not need to speak all the time.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

A slight movement outside caught her attention, Yvette squinted her eyes to try to see better and a shadow slowly emerged from the pathway that connected her small cottage to the main building. Yvette looked at the clock, noting the time and her face softened into a small smile, sad but it also contained the relief of someone who had been carrying a heavy burden for so many years and was finally able to face up to what they have done wrong. Her waiting had finally come to an end and the death that she had been waiting for for so long was finally here, right at her front doorstep.

" Welcome, my son." Yvette Carpenter's voice floated through the dark night and into Athrun Zala's ears as she stood to one side allowing him entrance. Face expressionless, he nodded and looking once more behind his back, checking, before entering the small cottage. Yvette's eyes continued to focus outside, unseeing, not daring to turn around, her earlier resolve evaporating, as complicated emotions ran rampant in her. There was so much she wanted to say, wanted to do, and so much she wanted not to do. She wanted to run, she wanted to face Athrun, she wanted to stay in this time where she lived in regret, she wanted to finally be free.

But, mostly she just wanted to wrap her arms around him and apologize profusely, begging for his forgiveness and she knew she could not. The past belonged to the past and nothing she said would ever change her actions, it was unspeakable and for once she would like to be the grown up and not end up following her impulses as she did so long ago. Not once, not twice but three time – ignoring Meng, falling in love and cheating on her boyfriend and thirdly, the last, the most serious of all, abandoning her child.

Yet how she longed to enclose him in her arms, to protect him once again during those three years when he was small and so dependent on her. She was his emotional support and his hers. He was so close yet so far.

Closing the door, Yvette's hand settled on the wooden panel, grasping it tightly. She closed her eyes briefly, gathering up the courage, strength and pushing down the overwhelming sadness and thought no more. There was no running; she had to face her fate, her sin. If that was what being a grown up meant, she would try hard as hell to do so.

" Should I get you something? A drink perhaps?" She asked, amazed at her ability to keep her voice calm.

" No." Short, businesslike. Cold.

Yvette paused, not knowing what else to say, what to explain, nor how to start. It was impossible to fathom. Athrun stood in the middle of the living room, scanning the room, a mechanism of habit, eyes running through the details, taking in every crack and crook, orbs briefly stopping at the sofa that Kira had been laying on earlier. Satisfied there was no one else and they were alone to 'discuss' the events of before, he turned to face the woman who claimed to be his mother.

The atmosphere was tense, heavy, as both mother and son looked at each other, absorbing the details, one waiting while the other, like every good predator waited for his chance and prepared himself to pounce. Yvette stood her ground, not wanting to allow her son to intimidate her, she had her own pride. It was one to wallow in her own misery but she would not allow her son to see her at her worst. She wanted him to remember that she had dignity too as stupid as it seems. She wanted him to know that she at least possessed some good quality in her.

Without preamble, Athrun asked cutting through the atmosphere like a knife. " Who are you? Why do you claim to be my mother?"

Yvette swallowed unconsciously, the question that she dreaded was here, she had thought that she was ready to answer, to face up to the facts but evidently she was not. " Athrun, I…"

" Answer the question." Athrun cut her off mercilessly, eyes narrowing slightly as he watched her squirm like a hawk eyeing prey.

Yvette's fingers tightened around the cloth of her skirt as she turned around, walking towards the window and staring out, Athrun allowed her movements but his muscles were ready, he would move in that one instant if she tried to flee, his knife sitting comfortably against the skin of his back within easy reach. He partially understood why Yvette turned away, but he disregarded that fact. It was not his fault she could not face him and it was definitely not his business in what she did as long as it provided him with the answers he was seeking, so he allowed her to turn away.

Yvette fidgeted more with her skirt, she thought that maybe it would be easier if she did not look at him, but, it also proved that she was still the coward that she wanted not to be. Staring out at the peaceful surroundings did nothing to calm her, instead it shamed her that she had been able to live so long, so peacefully while her son had to struggle to survive. Oh, she knew how Patrick would have tormented that kid and it was partially her fault the way Athrun was what he was right now. It tortured her further to think that even now, she could not face him.

Taking a deep breath and plunging into the question that revoked those buried memories of long ago, Yvette answered " It was fifteen years ago when I left you, when I ran away from Patrick Zala, you are my son because Patrick used my genes, my DNA. He said he wanted his son to have emerald green eyes, my eyes…."

"_Mama, don't leave me."_

A sudden silver of memory appeared and disappeared as suddenly as it came, like a cheeky inspiration that would not be caught. Athrun frowned, the voice though young was unmistakably his, but what was different was the desperateness in it, had he ever been able to feel before? Had he really known this woman and if so why did he not remember? Undeniably, he knew her, there was this sense of familiarity, the sense of safety but there was hatred and betrayal in the midst too. It was all still intangible just whispers of emotions that refused to surface.

_That's because yours died a long time ago._

"Patrick Zala? You know him?" He pushed back all those personal questions that ate at him and followed up on that particular familiar name.

Yvette's eyes glinted dangerously in the dark, her fingers tightening on the windowsills, gripping it until her knuckles turned white with the effort. She allowed the question to hang in the air, not out of spite, merely because she had no idea where to start. Yet, this was safe ground, this was where she did not need to think of guilt, of regret, there was only one emotion and that consumed every fiber of her.

Hatred and cold fury.

When Athrun thought she was not about to reply, she spat out like a angry feline snarling, filled with intense hatred and anger. "Yes, I know him. I know him very well. He is your father. The man who used me to create you, the monster nobody should have let loose on this world. Oh I know him very well. He destroyed me after all."

" I know that. He made me and he owes me. What I want to know is what do you know about him, how long have you been with him and why has he never mentioned you." _And most importantly if you will pose a threat towards him._ That particular thought Athrun kept to himself, he did not question his loyalty towards Patrick, frankly he could not have given a damn, but he had a duty to do and that was the why he was here.

Yvette's ears did not bother to assimilate the question further after the way Athrun described himself as a tool, a "thing" that could be exploited and used. Her expression visibly darkened, bordering on downright nastiness at that particular comment, her hatred of Patrick accumulating till it consumed her and without further contemplation, she whirled around and grabbed hold of Athrun's shoulders.

" Don't you ever dare to price yourself so low, you are not "owned". You are not a thing, you never will be a "tool" for that madman, do you understand me!" Yvette hissed, shaking him, her emerald eyes holding a fire ignited by Athrun's callous remarks about himself, all the while staring straight, unflinching, into her son's eyes, trying to force that notion of self love into him.

Tears sprung up into her eyes when she noticed Athrun's dead ones and as she enclosed him in a hug, she continued to ferociously whisper in his ear, " Don't you dare say something like that, you have the right to live, like all the rest of us, no matter your origins of birth, you are still human, still a living being. Don't you dare allow that monster to trample on your right to live, please for your own sake, try to live."

Athrun stood there transfixed to the spot, unable to move, he was not able to respond to this, he had never been so close to another human before, never, except in the act of killing. Yvette's sudden movement made him feel so vulnerable, so small. He could smell her, breathe in the scent of her shampoo, a blend of everything and the rhythmic beating of her heart, soothing him, calming his high strung nerves. It scared him but he could not move away.

He missed this.

_I know this feeling, long ago, somebody held me this way, protected me. A long time ago, I had felt so safe…_

_Her embrace was so warm, so safe. I had been safe before, I had this before. Why was it taken away? When had that been?_

" You are so thin, have you not been eating properly? I should have protected you. I should have protected you." Yvette continued to hug Athrun close, close enough to feel his ribs, his spinal cord, his sleek well defined muscles which promised power and strength with no excess fat on him.

Athrun felt his hands move on their own accord, wanting to tighten his hold on Yvette, to cling to her for that warmth that was warming his cold body. When had he ever felt this safe? When had he ever felt that he no longer needed to fight for his own survival? That he could like Yvette said earlier, live for himself? Did he have that chance? Does he even have the right to have that chance? Unconsciously, Athrun allowed his body to relax, bit by bit his muscles began to unwind but as soon as his walls came down, it slammed right back up again.

_You were vulnerable, that's why she could hurt you. Do you ever want to get hurt again?_

_She's left you._

_You'll always be mine._

_The only way you can defeat me is if you are strong enough. Are you strong enough?_

Snarling, with Patrick's voice ringing in his head, reminding what a fool he had been, Athrun was slammed back into reality. There was no safe place for him, he had chosen this path when she had left him, accepted the will to live and the liabilities that came with it. Patrick had allowed him the chance to die then, but he had not wanted to, it was not his time, if he was not good enough for his own mother to stay, he would prove himself stronger and worthy. He would train, he would grow stronger till he needed no one. And he was strong now, strong enough.

As the memories played itself like a black and white movie, he remembered. He remembered the mother that Yvette claimed to be, she had been there once, she had protected him once, that was undeniably true, but she had too denied him the freedom that he deserved and for that Athrun would never forgive her, she had killed his future with one promise that she had never meant to keep. Her selfishness had led him on to this path of no return.

Without saying anything, Athrun smirked coldly at his own weakness, how he had forcefully made himself forget those days, how he had made his heart die that night. He had no choice, it was either that or to be consumed by the pain of his own mother's betrayal, that his mother would leave her own child behind. He had chose that night to live, no matter what way, if there was no one willing to help him, then, he would help himself if only to survive.

Athrun allowed Yvette to continue to hug him as his hand retrieved the knife and without warning, he pushed Yvette roughly and she losing her balance, stumbled a few steps before tripping over her own legs and fell painfully to the floor, the wind knocked out of her, her eyes mirroring her feelings, skating through surprise, hurt and finally acceptance. This was Athrun's answer.

Before she could stand up again on her own, Athrun was hauling her up to her feet and a sharp metallic object was pressing dangerously on the delicate skin on her neck. She could feel it's tip, sharp and merciless, she struggled a little, a normal human's reaction at self preservation and the tip scratched slightly at the base, a droplet of red welling up lazily, slowly to the surface before trickling down the length.

" What a nice speech you just made, mother, it was as if you still loved and cared for me. But that is just an illusion isn't it? What are aiming for mother? Did you think by doing so I would let you go? That would be an extremely naïve thought, Patrick Zala had trained me well, I do not let people who pose danger to myself and him to live."

" I would advise you against all other impulsive motions, they would only get you killed faster and since I have not gotten what I want from you, what may have been a decisive stroke could lose its accuracy by a mere inch, I need not stress that it would hurt and I would definitely and without doubt prolong your death till I'm entirely satisfied. However, hold no doubt that you would not leave this place alive, I do not intend to allow anybody who has seen me and know so much to live." All these were said coolly, lazily, and ruthlessly. Indeed it was like father like son, so alike Yvette felt the hope in her die.

" So let's start again, I want to know is what do you know about him, how long have you been with him and why has he never mentioned you."

Yvette felt something snap in her, her mind spiralling out of control as Athrun's words continue to ring in her head, he remembered that much was evident, and even the calm façade that was so deceptive could not mask the cold unbridled fury that ran undercurrent, it was clear the message that he was trying to transmit to her--he hated her. Yvette's lips curled up into a crazed smile, her ears not hearing anything except the accusations that Athrun had flung to her minutes ago. It was just as he said, she had not loved him enough, that was why she had left him, she had not loved him more, that was why she betrayed him.

" Answer my questions mother, do not tempt my patience." Athrun threatened but Yvette was no longer paying attention, she was trapped in her own mind, and realizing that particular fact, Athrun merely grimly assessed the situation, his cold calculating logic mapping out a solution that would provide him maximum benefit. Yvette no longer meant anything to him, she was just another being that was in his way. And in her current state, her lack of usefulness would merely waste his time, so the next best thing was to completely shock her into facing him.

And he knew just the way. It was a normal human reflex to keep the body alive.

Tightening his left hand that was held horizontally against her throat the knife sliced deeper into the skin, crimson red welling up instantly from the shallow cut, he dragged his hand across slowly till his wrist was the one in contact with Yvette's throat instead of the knife and continued to squeeze, literally, the life out of Yvette. Defenceless and vulnerable, Yvette struggled, shocked out of her own space by the pain and back into the reality where her oxygen supply was slowly but surely cut off by her own son.

Trying her hardest to keep calm and not to fight him, Yvette nodded once as her hands twitched uncontrollably, wanting no more than to grab at Athrun's invading hand and stop him. Meanwhile, Athrun was contented to just watch her, amused at the way she tried to control herself as he observed dispassionately like a scientist observing a dissected insect on display as Yvette's pale face turned tomato red, her lips turning bluish and her emerald eyes starting to roll up into the sockets, she did deserve to die here, by him, by his hands, but it was just not time yet.

All of a sudden, Athrun released Yvette, deciding that he had made his point clear enough and that Yvette had gotten the intended message. Yvette without the support fell towards the ground once again, her weak legs unable to support her weight as she coughed and wheezed violently, her throat dry and sore. Chest heaving, she gulped at the air desperately like a drowning person, struggling to get her breath back. She had not realized air tasted so sweet, so soothing to that aching lungs.

Minutes passed by till Yvette's harsh breathing calmed and the coughing stopped, Yvette stared at her hands, at the floor, an uncontrollable urge to laugh aloud bubbling towards the surface. She had nearly died there, she had nearly seen the proverbial tunnel of light, but she had been pulled back, not because Athrun had released her just in time, if she had just given up, she knew she would not have survived this shock. She knew.

_I just want to see his smile. One more time, just one more time, his sweet innocent smile._

Athrun did not care to repeat his question, actually he was getting quite tired of this whole scene, Yvette could not provide him with any information, there was nothing he could learn from her, all she could tell him was that Patrick had been the one who created him, as a matter of fact, Athrun could not figure out what in the first place had he wanted to find out. He had been downright curious when Yvette had recognized him from earlier and now that he had remembered everything, he did not need to continue this whole fruitless so called investigation.

He looked coldly at Yvette, the woman who proclaimed to be his mother, and decided that he would kill her now, to prevent further complications. Patrick had never mentioned her and since he had never mentioned her meant only one thing, that she was expendable, if Patrick had not asked him to find her in the past, she was useless and useless goods should be gotten rid off. Yet, something stopped him in mid step before he was able to execute his killing blow.

_She said she was your mother, would she know about what Patrick really wanted him to do? If so, would there be a way to finally be free of everything?_

Calming himself to think, Athrun's conflicted emotions settled as his brain dissected the reason and the next step to move.

_Fact: Yvette still had her uses. She had yet to tell him what had happened those few years._

_Solution : Continue to investigate. Try to find out why Patrick wants to use him for. _

" You have yet to answer the previous questions, how did you know Patrick and why has he never mentioned you after all these years when you claim to be my mother?"

Yvette did not bother getting up from the floor, supporting her upper body's weight with her left hand, her head lowered and the ebony black hair that was streaked with white fell across her face, shadowing it and hiding any expression that she had from Athrun. Silence filled the air as Yvette kept silent for a moment as if composing her answer, Athrun had no idea what was churning in that brain of hers but he gave her time and he was not disappointed.

" Patrick was somebody I knew a long time ago, back when Meng was still alive, they were so close, they were the pioneers of a better future, their ideals impressed me, made me believe that there is a better future for our children. Meng was kind, a soft spoken man with gentle eyes, an unimpressive man, where else Patrick was the handsome charming devil that swept me off my feet. He was so passionate about his work, I've never met a man who wanted to save the world….. most of them wanted to own it." At this, Yvette's lips curled up into an ironic, bitter smile before she started laughing softly to herself, at herself, at the complex world as she recalled how naïve and stupid she had been at that time.

Athrun waited patiently for her to continue, his brain working in high gear, processing what Yvette just said, he had never heard of Meng, Patrick had never mentioned his name, not even in passing, just like he had never knew Yvette existed till now. But, it seemed that he was somebody important and that he was Patrick's partner long ago, how long in the past Athrun had no idea, what had both of them been working about and why had Meng left was still a mystery. However, Athrun knew by fact that in the present Patrick was operating alone and he was not so surprised to that particular fact as Patrick is a lone wolf, he would never allow other people to be able to share his glory.

Stopping her laughter suddenly, Yvette's mad behaviour continued when she picked herself from the floor and sat with her knees close to her chest, hugging them close with both of her hands, starting to rock herself slightly back and forth, her long hair following each movement, still hiding her face behind that veil.

" I was so wrong at that time, the man whom wanted to save the world or at least made it a better place was Meng and he warned me, he warned me not to get too close, but I refused to listen, making up my mind that he was speaking out of jealousy. I did not think that I was the one who was making a mistake until it was too late. Patrick killed my boyfriend, killed Meng, killed so many other children…." Yvette shuddered as that particular nasty memory of rusty red liquid running down her chin, that metallic taste that threatened to choke her, that stench of hell and her rocking became more violent.

" Children?"

" Those poor poor children, they were innocent, they should not have to be sacrificed, they should have been able to grow up. Those hideous experiments took away their lives, it took away the very essence of them, all for the sake of glory, all for the sake of one thing."

" Patrick killed Meng?"

" Yes. Meng tried to stop Patrick but he shot him. He shot his own friend who wanted to help him, to save him, he killed him in cold blood and it was my fault. I should have listened, I should have been able to warn Meng, those boasts, I thought they were unreal, I thought they were just drunken words. I should have known!" Yvette said in hushed tones, pain evident with every syllable.

" Evil exists in forms, there are evils that do not have a mind of it's own, it just wants to have fun by creating hurt, pain and it would just die when the host's dies, but there are evil that are pure, that is able to think, plan, and achieve it methodically, cool and efficient on its own. That evil does things, unspeakable things because it can and this kind of evil does not die, it just hops onto another living vessel when the current one is no longer living. This is the kind of evil that is now infesting Patrick Zala's mind, body and soul."

" Why did he work with children? What was his motive?" Yet when the question was asked, Athrun had a feeling that he did not want to know the answer, that niggling feeling that he was about to find out something more than he had bargained. Athrun kept his face emotionless but his impatience and discomfort at the wait before Yvette answered was chipping at his calm façade.

Yvette took in a deep breath and when she looked up into Athrun eyes, he nearly took a step back at the emotions in them, at the anguish, the eternal regret, the infinite sadness that was written clearly in those identical emerald green orbs of hers.

" Patrick wanted to create the ultimate weapon, he wanted the world to recognize him as the best, the man who could better others, the man who would eventually conquer the world. He wanted to create you."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato could barely hold in his gasp at that last sentence, at what Yvette had revealed. The enemy Nicol and him had been looking for was Athrun Zala, that mysterious, silent teenager and the teenager he was currently interested to getting to know better. He crouched down lower outside the window in a daze, his back leaning on the cottage's wall as support and unwittingly stepping and breaking one of the small tree branches that was unfortunately there. His head snapped up at that sound, cursing his own stupidity when all of a sudden, instead of being inside, Athrun was hauling him up onto his feet roughly and a gleaming knife was held against his smooth neck.

It had taken a second till the sound reached Athrun's ears, he had snapped into action immediately, his brain registering that there was a threat outside and that he had to eliminate that threat before it compromised his own safety. Everything was decided instantaneously and every other thing, including what he had just learnt pushed back and filed for further usage in the future. In other words, everything was forgotten except the task at hand. Effortlessly, he had been able to revert back to the killing machine that he was trained to be.

" You have heard too much. Die." Athrun said coldly and without hesitation prepared to slash downwards to end the busybody's life. It had not even occurred that it might be somebody he knew, all he understood was that this person was not supposed to be where he was at this time at the night, especially when Yvette had revealed so much. It was a danger to his existence and therefore deserved to die, the enemy had violated his rules and should be punished.

"No, wait…" Shocked, Kira barely had time to whisper before he felt pain exploded forth from his throat and the warm red liquid gushed out. Kira stared at disbelief at his hands which spotted those red dots and felt his consciousness waver, Athrun had released him and Kira stumbled once, twice, before falling onto his knees. Hands trembling, Kira reached up to his neck, as the stench of blood, his blood filled his nose, his violet eyes opened wide in a mixed emotions, bewilderment, surprise, the inability to accept what was happening.

Meanwhile, Athrun walked slowly towards the half fallen Kira, still not realizing the person's true identity, his face expressionless as he approached. Athrun understood what the other was currently thinking, after all most of his victims had that helpless look about them and the inability to believe what had happened, his way of attack this time was not fatal, there would be a certain amount of time before that person expired. It was his punishment for him to be an eavesdropper.

_Let him feel the panic and the helplessness as his life force flows away._

Athrun was famed for that sudden swift strike and once again Shinigami was about to present another soul to the gate of Hell. It felt good to be back into his element and not back there in the house where he had been uncertain, ruffled by the allegations that Yvette had revealed. This was his safety net and he was comforted that he was still the best. Athrun's slim hand reached out for his victim's chin, wanting to know what he looked like, he was curious all of a sudden and for an unknown reason, his senses were tingling.

_Brown hair?_

Kira heard through his blurred senses that someone was approaching, he was still on his knees, unwilling to go down just yet. He had yet to identify what had happened, the only reason why he was still struggling as hard and had not given up to the darkness was his inability to accept that he was dying and the voice that had spoken so coldly had sounded so much like Athrun. He had to know, had to understand.

Struggling, using up most of his remaining energy he lifted his head at the same time the person gripped his chin in a tight iron hold, almost passing out with the effort and pain, his eyes crept up the length of the body that was now standing in front of him, covering the moonlight, encompassing Kira in the darkness of his shadow. His violet orbs widened when he finally saw the face of his attacker and a sense of betrayal somehow invaded Kira's senses before he, finally giving up to the black abyss fell right before the feet of the teenager whom had just slit his throat.

All this while Athrun still stood there rigid, not moving to help this time and watched as Kira's blood flowed out of the wound and fanned around his body, creating a morbid halo, dying the ground red, spreading further and further till it nearly reached where Athrun was standing.

And right at the same time, Cagalli whom had fallen asleep hours ago in Hinata's apartment woke up with a piercing scream with blood on her hands and a slit throat.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Author's Note: This ficcie took up quite a lot of time for me to write it as there were a few parts that refused to cooperate. But, this is what came out and I hope you guys like it. Now the main question is did Athrun kill Kira? Would Nicol be able to save him in time? Would he even know what had happened to his friend? What about Dearkka, Yzak, Lacus and Cagalli?


	14. Twins

" _**Patrick wanted to create the ultimate weapon, he wanted the world to recognize him as the best, the man who could better others, the man who would eventually conquer the world. He wanted to create you."**_

"_**No, wait…" Shocked, Kira barely had time to whisper before he felt pain exploded forth from his throat and the warm red liquid gushed out.**_

_**And right at the same time, Cagalli whom had fallen asleep hours ago in Hinata's apartment woke up with a piercing scream with blood on her hands and a slit throat.**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Thirteen

Twins

Cagalli Yula Athha was dreaming, her sleep restless as she tossed and turned in the bed in Hinata Yui's guest room, the bed sheets tangled between her feet. Cold sweat drenched her and made the clothes on her back stick uncomfortably to her, forming invisible shackles that bounded her to the horror she was bearing witness now. She whimpered helplessly as she felt the dreamscape change, her eyes only able to stare as the two people played out what seemed like a murder scene.

_Cagalli hastened her steps towards the two figures, feeling herself glide and float instead of the running she wanted to do, desiring nothing but to help the brown haired boy. But, to her chagrin, she could only succeed in fading in and out of them like a ghost. She stretched out her hand to try to stop them, her mouth forming into a silent scream but her warning was useless and her movement futile, she could only look on in horror as everything spiraled out of control._

_Blood spurting out. _

_A brown haired boy falling._

_Bright emerald green eyes watching, doing nothing._

" No…!" She screamed out loud, jack-knifing into a sitting position, immediately wide awake and breathing heavily as the scent of blood in the dream lingered and permeated her nose. Panting heavily, Cagalli merely dismissed it as an after effect, but when she felt the wetness that made her uncomfortable and which made her clothes sodden and heavy, she looked down, a sense of foreboding overcoming her senses.

Looking down, she gasped out in surprise at the crimson, but that soon turned into a gurgle as the blood from the wound that appeared suddenly on her neck gushed forth. She lifted her hands in a daze, disbelieving what she was currently seeing and feeling and pressed her hands to that wound in shock. Feeling the liquid coat her fingers and made it slick, her eyes widened in terror, realizing that this was no longer a dream. The blood flowed relentlessly from the open wound, pooling around her for an instant before soaking the mattress, the bed sheets and everything around her.

It was real. It was very very real.

Trembling, Cagalli felt her vision dimming, everything seemed to darken and disappear as the pain continued on relentlessly, crippling her. Her hands felt rubbery and weak, flopping down beside her body coated with the horrifically bright red liquid, her strength slowly draining out of her body as the cold ate to her bones. Cagalli willed herself to stay conscious, she could not die just yet, not without fulfilling her agendas. She tried to get out of the bed, tried to get help, but the bed sheets hampered her movements. Kicking at it uselessly, her strength depleting with the futile movements, every passing minute added to the nausea and the fear that rose and threatened to choke her.

" Help me." She tried to form the words that would not come, her hoarse whisper sounding incredibly soft even to her ears, bouncing off nothing but the walls of the empty room. Cagalli could not call for help, her voice box ruined by the wound that slit her throat from ear to ear. She shivered, trying to suppress that sense of helplessness that she hated, but she was so afraid, so cold. She did not want to die.

" Help me." She tried again, weaker by the moment.

Gathering the strength that she had and scrabbling helplessly at the bed sheets, moving painfully slowly inch by inch towards the end of the bed, Cagalli felt herself falling with a thump that jarred the wound. Sobbing noiselessly, she tried to crawl towards the source of the light, just right behind the door, so near yet so far, tears mingling with the blood, creating a track with her progress as she dragged her body along. Brown clumps already forming as the blood dried in the cool air.

_What is happening to me?_

_Would somebody help me?_

Bursting through the door like the cavalry, Hinata seemed like the angel that had come to save Cagalli, her figure enveloped in light that stung Cagalli's eyes, " Cagalli sama!" She shouted, shocked at the scene presented in front of her. Her eyes swept the room as she trained her gun steadily around the room, making sweeping arcs the way she had been taught long ago. She was no stranger to these kind of actions, her father had wanted her to be strong, able to defend herself and others who needed defending and right now, she was thankful that her father had been so insightful.

Satisfied that there was no one, no enemy to be fought off, Hinata immediately placed the gun onto the table right beside her, making sure the safety was on before hurrying towards her fallen friend. Wasting no time, she tried to calm Cagalli enough to check on her , Cagalli's whole body was tensed and it was not hard to tell that she was both terrified and in pain. Shock the next thing on the agenda.

" Cagalli – sama, stay with me." Hinata said, trying to keep the other girl awake, she knew enough about blood loss to know that she had to do everything possible to keep the victim from falling asleep as she may never wake up again. Babbling nonsense, asking the girl questions that are mundane just to keep her attention as Hinata searched the room for something that she could use as a makeshift bandage. Her frustration evident when she found none and realized hatefully that she had wasted precious time, ripping off her shirt and bunching it up, she produced as much pressure that was tolerable to Cagalli but making her whimper in pain all the same.

Hinata noticed that Cagalli's eyes were starting to glaze over and the desperation was etched clearly unto her features, Hinata muttered soothing words but she had no idea who she was comforting. She commanded her central computer in a crisp voice to make a distress call to the nearby hospital and the in house doctor, her calm façade shattering bit by bit by the endless blood flow. Her whole penthouse was computerized, it made things easier for her but it posed certain dangers as well, but Hinata was never home enough to realize what it was but now as time was running out, she understood why most people did not want these "dead" things in an emergency.

It just took too long with too much procedure.

Cursing under her breath as the computer proceeded to ask Hinata for the password, she rattled off the numbers and was slightly comforted by the mechanical beeping of the numbers being punched before a sleepy voice of Dr. Clancy came over the intercom. The doctor was evidently very irritated by the midnight call but she could not have cared less if she had interrupted him in any way.

" I have a seriously injured person here and I need your help. Please hurry. Penthouse, level 25, password 3497. Let yourself in."

Ending the call and requesting the computer to call the hospital nearby, Hinata proceeded to tell the dispatcher and stated code red. Procedures were followed and it was nearly a whole minute later that everything was done. The computer beeped once and the whole room fell silent, rendering Cagalli's harsh breathing, the gasping, gurgling while she labored for each and every ounce of air to keep her alive and Hinata's own even louder to Hinata's ears.

" Hinata, help me…" Cagalli croaked brokenly, coughing up blood when she finished, her amber eyes begging Hinata to tell her everything would be all right. Hinata tightened her hold on the bandage, her own resolve to keep calm cracking, the sense of guilt, of not being able to prevent this from happening beginning to eat at her. Her palms pressed on harder unconsciously, while she continued to mutter useless word to Cagalli. Hinata cursed the time the passed so quickly and the personnel so slowly.

Cagalli's hands slick with blood reached up weakly, trying to hold onto something solid, struggling to find a hold and finding Hinata's hand at her throat. She clutched at it desperately, her strength doubled from that panic. She did not want to die and with the things that have been left undone, she could not die. The brown haired boy needed her, she had to go to him, she had to. Cagalli refused to succumb to the welcoming darkness where she knew she would have all the peace she wanted, she could not afford to let go of the life that she had now. She knew without a doubt that if she allowed herself to let go now, she would never wake up.

" Hold on, Cagalli – sama, hold on. Help is coming, I promise."

Cagalli nodded her understanding with effort, her eyes closing, expression relaxing slightly. In alarm, Hinata called her out her name but there was no response, she tried again but came back with nothing. Hinata wanted to shake her but her two hands were tied up in holding the bandage in place.

" Damn it! Cagalli – sama, Cagalli – sama, what's your favourite colour? Tell me again about the dog that you had while you were young. Don't do this to me. Come on, Cagalli!"

Heavy footsteps announced the presence of the doctor and Hinata's assumptions from before were right. Dr. Clancy was looking decidedly annoyed and irritated, his eyes bloodshot and hair sticking up in all the wrong places. He was disheveled and untidy but, Hinata could not have cared less, not with his appearance or his annoyance, all she cared about now was Cagalli's safety. She had to live no matter what and Hinata would ensure that she will continue to fight for Orb.

" What the hell happened!" He exclaimed aloud, his breath hitched up in his throat in shock. He was a doctor and he had seen his fair share of blood but this had to take the cake. It was as if somebody had drained the whole 8 liters of blood that was needed to keep the human body functioning out of the girl which was laying there, her blonde hair fanning out behind her. He thought that she looked familiar, brow furrowing and squinting his eyes to see better, he was shocked to find that it was no mere girl and it was the Representative of Orb itself.

" Move away, you should have called the damn ambulance instead of me, this is out of my depth." Dr Clancy muttered under his breath to Hinata, grumbling, but his hands were moving fast, expertly taking in Cagalli's pulse, checking her vital signs. He nodded to Hinata and she removed the makeshift bandage and what appeared before their eyes was nothing they had seen before. Both of their eyes grew wide and Dr Clancy could not help his jaw dropping down before glaring furiously at the stricken Hinata.

" This cannot be." Hinata said incredulously, disbelieving what her eyes were currently projecting to her brain as she reached out to touch Cagalli's neck which was previously gaping open and now….

Pale skin unmarred by anything.

Dr Clancy's expression was murderous. He could not believe he had wasted his time for nothing and was more forthcoming and suspicious, " Is this some kind of joke? Is this what the Representative of Orb shows her citizens!"

It was an understatement to say he was outraged. He had had a hard day before, he was an in house doctor yes, but he had consultant work for children during the day, he had been extremely busy as there were some cases that baffled and worried him. Children were never meant to suffer the misdeeds of adults, those children were poisoned by the chemicals that those agricultural groups were too careless to take care of, their bodies deformed and immune system so weak that a normal cold could turn deadly.

It had been for a long time since the factories had been doing illegal dumping. Many had protested against it, tried to take legal action against the culprits, but their pockets ran deep and they had bribed the police of that area again and again. Those poor villagers stood no chance against those bastards and he was sickened to think that they would get away with it. Disposing those poisonous chemicals down the river which was the main source of wellbeing of the small village that was nearby, not caring nor blinking if others suffered the consequences.

And now this.

Did they think that money was everything?

However, even as the anger festered and all logic thought flew out the window, a niggling sense of something wrong nibbled at him. He was sure that Cagalli's blank stare now had nothing to do with a joke, it was too real, it resembled those children when they knew that death was near. Yet, it was either she was a damn good actress or whatever had happened was no joke, the latter seemingly more logical than the former. Cagalli seemed near catatonic and her amber eyes were wide and staring ahead in a blank stare, it was as if she was in shock and had nowhere to run. He suppressed a shudder.

"Why should we play practical jokes? Did you think we would sacrifice our own sleep to joke with you? Look at the blood, can't you tell that it's real?" Hinata snarled back, her patience on an extremely low reserve, her defence system kicking in where her own emotional quantity could not. Cagalli's wound had healed, it had actually seemed as if there was nothing to indicate that there was indeed a wound on her neck and the only evidence was the blood that stained everything and had dried up into patches of red on red. Even Hinata found it hard to believe.

Dr. Clancy looked at the Cagalli, her heartbeat was erratic but strong, and her breathing seemed normal, it was nothing like what Hinata had described to him over the phone and for the life of him, he could not figure out why there was so much blood and yet no wound. The only life threatening situation that could arise was that Cagalli would get the shock of her life when she wakes up in the middle of the red sea. Shaking his head to clear the cobwebs, Dr Clancy merely repacked his stuff and went out of the room quietly. His duty here was finished and by tomorrow morning he would try to figure out what had conspired in this room, for now, all he wanted was his warm bed and his even warmer wife.

It had been an entirely too long a day.

Shaking his head as he stood up, his bones cracking with each movement, it was a sign that he was getting on with age whether he liked it or not. His wife found the white around the temples attractive, said it made him look matured and distinguished, but he felt none of that. All in all he just felt like he wanted to go close his eyes and sleep.

Heaving a sigh, the previous anger replaced by weariness. He did not want to care about others right now, this was no longer his business. Let the rich play their own power games and allow him rest.

" Dr Clancy." He heard Hinata's voice stop him.

Without turning around, he asked tiredly, exhaustion coating every word he uttered, " What is it?"

" I'm really sorry about this, I have no idea what happened and I need you to keep this under wraps, this is a confidential matter and I trust you to keep it that way Dr Clancy. I'm truly sorry for your trouble."

Dr Clancy shook his head in disgust at what Hinata said before walking out of the door, not bothering to close it behind him. Hinata turned back towards the sleeping girl and wondered not for the first time what Cagalli was not telling her. She wanted to trust her but bizarre events that seemed to plague this young Representative was testing her resolve. What had she gotten herself into and what is currently happening were the main things that she had absolutely no idea of.

Hinata's eyes looked towards the window of the room, frowning, her head spinning with all the questions that arose. Should she allow Cagalli to sleep on? Should she wake her up? Make sure that she really was all right? Had there been a perpetrator in the first place? Yet with everything running through her head, Hinata knew that there were no easy answers to those incredibly easy questions.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Nicol Amalfi jerked awake suddenly, his heart pounding. He looked wildly around the room and finding no one, he cursed. He knew without a doubt that something had happened. Pulling his shirt over his head, he ran towards the door, throwing it open, not bothering about locking. Wildly, his feet pounded the carpeted hallway, heading towards the one place where Kira Yamato would go.

" Damn you Athrun Zala." He cursed out loud.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yvette Carpenter stared numbly at the fallen figure, her brain filled with fog. It felt better being in the fog, where everything felt smothered, where she did not know the meaning of pain. She looked dully while Athrun heaved the fallen figure unto his shoulders and walked away effortlessly, the blood soaking into his back, dying the black a darker more menacing colour. Without thinking her hand lifted, reaching towards the teenager she had never had a chance to raise, reaching and reaching, forever stretching but never touching.

_Goodbye, my son. I love you._

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The room was dark without a light. Shadows seemed to lurk in the darkness but they did not venture near the figure that was lying in the middle of the room, his brown hair flopping onto his face, cowering most of it. But what they could not see, they could smell. It was metallic and it was strong, they knew that the boy had been hurt and very near death, because if that were not the circumstances, he would not be here. This was a place where no living being existed, it was the world of half and half.

Skirting around the edges as near as they dared, they ventured slowly and cautiously towards the fallen figure. Suddenly when they were near enough to touch him, their shadowy fingers stretching out to consume fresh meat, the figure stirred, his fingers moving slightly and he groaned, immediately scattering those shadows that skittered away as fast as they could into the safety of distance. Looking afar, they kept watch as the young man moved more before he finally awoke.

Kira Yamato opened his eyes and stared confused at his surroundings, wondering where he was. The darkness that enveloped him was soothing and comforting, but the pain though dulled was still there. Moving his limbs slowly to get the blood circulation going, Kira's eyes were dry and sandpapery, hurting even to blink. Suppressing a scream as he tried to sit up, the discomfort intensifying a thousand fold when he was alert, he felt as if he had been run over a two ton tanker, every muscle in him hurt and he felt as if his brain had been dissected and reassembled crudely. Holding his hand towards his forehead as his vision swam, his fingers moved as he tried to massage the dizziness away.

All of a sudden without warning, the darkness disappeared along with the shadows when the light was switched on, piercing through the gloom and illuminating the room. Kira shut his eyes instantly, the glare too bright and sudden to accustom himself to. Waiting a few minutes to come to terms with the brightness, Kira slowly cracked his eyes open, observing whatever that came into his eyes. His vision was blurry and Kira closed it again, rubbing his eyelids in a circular motion not unlike wiping a pair of glasses. He somehow thought that he could clean clear his vision this way, a habit that he had since he started using the laptop. The movements were soothing which helped a lot.

Focusing once again after that small ritual, he found himself in the middle of the room, right next to a coffee table with magazines on it. It was not a big room, but it had ample space to contain furniture and still be comfortable. Looking curiously around him, Kira took in the big LCD screen in front of him. It was seated on a rectangular maple knee height table, the wood was polished and it was varnished until it was a golden brown, there were CDs stacked neatly in a corner while video tapes were arranged and labelled. Sofas of twos and threes formed a unified U and Kira grabbed hold of the one nearest to him to heave himself onto his feet.

Standing up, his legs buckled like a young colt with no idea how to use its four limbs, but he caught himself in time before landing face first unto the soft sofa. The dizziness had yet to pass and he was strangely weak. Kira allowed himself time to slowly get used to his vertical position instead of the horizontal one before. Taking in a deep breath to push away the dizziness, Kira could detect a familiar unpleasant stench. It lingered in the stale cool air and reminded him of rusted metal and combined with the world swaying about, it made him extremely nauseous.

_I hate this smell. Where am I? How did I get here? Why don't I remember anything?_

Closing his eyes, Kira clenched his fists tightly, the questions swirling in his mind, haunting him. It was bad enough being uncomfortable but being completely blank and without a sense of one's ownself, it was hell. But, Kira knew this was not a time to wallow in his self pity, he had to find a way out of this place, wherever this was. Opening his eyes again with newly found determination, Kira did not notice a figure stepping out from the darkness and walking silently towards the unsuspecting him.

" I love this space." He spoke up from behind Kira, startling the violet eyed teenager. Whirling around shocked at the sudden intrusion, Kira faced the newcomer whose voice sounded so familiar.

" Huh… ?" Kira spluttered, his voice stuck in his throat as he faced a splitting image of him, violet eyes and all. The other teenager merely smiled and waved a hand apologetically. Noticing that Kira was still staring, he grinned, enjoying himself and Kira's reaction. It was not everyday you could shock the person who is you.

" You are definitely not hallucinating, so I guess you have always wanted a living room like this. I'm awfully grateful that you have certain taste, actually truth to be told, you have quite great taste, you are after all in your own room, well, the room you always wanted it to be." The boy said, his eyes twinkling in mischief. Yet to recover, Kira could only look idiotically at this other guy, saying nothing, doing nothing. He had no idea how to respond, no idea at all.

" Who are you?" Kira asked. The other boy looked at him quizzically as if he was surprised that Kira did not know the answer to that question. Patting the seat beside him, he made himself comfortable in the beige sofas. Snuggling and sighing in content as he grabbed one of the million pillows that were artfully supplied to make the sofas more vibrant before continuing to speak to Kira.

" Don't you know who I am? Is it not obvious? You do realize that we look terribly alike don't we?" He said in a deceptively casual tone. However, Kira noticed beneath that cheerful exterior, lurking in the shadows, there was something indefinite waiting for its chance to pounce. It gave him the chills.

" I've no idea who you are…." Kira answered truthfully as the other guy's eyes narrowed dangerously before becoming nonchalant and flashing Kira another wide, warm, pretentious smile.

" All right then, let's get down to business now won't we? You can just call me Shadow if you want to, it simplifies many things, I'm afraid this meeting would not be for long, we are quite short on the time.." Shadow said enigmatically before trailing off, his head cocked to one side as if listening but Kira could hear nothing. Eyeing Shadow uneasily, Kira took a step backwards, bumping his back of his knee with the sharp edge of the coffee table. He muffled a groan and maintained his posture, he could not afford to let down his guard around this individual.

Now definitely amused, Shadow cocked his left eyebrow before chuckling softly, " I did not know you were even scared of your own shadow Kira Yamato, I'm quite disappointed. Did you think you could distance yourself if just that mere one step? We are linked by a chain that would never break unless one of us dies, now don't say I did not warn you about that."

Pausing for a moment to look at Kira, Shadow's eyes danced, alight with playfulness. To him, this situation was just a game, he knew well enough in advance who was about to win, but it did not matter, he was bored and being bored and alone for so many years, you manipulate anything that came by to give you a kick. "Oh well, now that you have tried and moved, have you gotten your conclusion? Mind you, this is like a game of chess, we both play to checkmate all right?"

" What do you want?" Kira asked testily as he watched Shadow warily as the other young man stood up and moved. His movements were fluid, graceful as if gravity did not work on him. Kira felt a twinge of fear run through him, a consequence of Shadow's earlier statement but it was more that balanced with the irritation at being called a coward.

" What do you want?" Kira repeated as Shadow approached, closing in the distance between the two of them.

" Aren't you hasty, don't you know that haste could spoil a perfect plan? Ruin a perfect evening? Of course I could give you an example of the haste that you had shown earlier. I do vaguely remember that Nicol had warned you to stay away from a certain individual, but you went regardless of that warning, you wanted to see for yourself what Athrun was made of." Pausing for that effect as Kira's eyes widened, the cascade of memories triggered by Shadow's sentences poured back in. He remembered the blood, the pain and his hands flew up to his neck, half afraid that he would touch open flesh.

Shadow looked on complacently, allowing Kira the time to recompose himself before launching on another verbal attack. Sarcastically he continued," Now is that not a perfect example of being hasty? Without coming up with a contingency plan or finding out more details about our handsome stranger, you went off and got your throat slit."

Spluttering with indignation, Kira glared at him, wanting no more but to shut him up permanently. " What the hell do you want with me!"

" Tsk…tsk…what a slow learner, how in the world did you actually survive all these years?"

" Either you tell me now or I'll leave."

Shadow merely raised an eyebrow at Kira's outburst before stopping right in front of him, coming face to face to what could be his twin. It was extremely disconcerting, looking back at the splitting mirror image of you and it reminded Kira of Dr Jekyll and Hyde. He tried to keep his composure intact but there was no denying the urge to just run away and hide under Shadow's unforgiving scrutiny.

Shadow's hand snaked up so quick and caught a hold on Kira's jaw, pulling him even closer in a vice like grip, his voice slow and dangerous as he spoke," Now, enlighten me on how exactly you are to escape Kira Yamato. Do you even realize where this is?"

Kira's eyes widened as he tried to struggle free of Shadow's hands, his fear now overpowering him and the survival instinct embedded in everyone kicked into motion. His hands grabbed hold of Shadow's and tried yanking it away, putting every ounce of strength into his defence. Shadow merely smiled and held on, his fingers tightening until Kira felt his jaw about to break.

" You are afraid of me aren't you Kira?" A statement, not a question as Shadow lifted his other hand to caress Kira's pale, sweating face, his slim fingers trailing from Kira's eyes to his mouth, slowly, gently, taking his time as Kira stood there, shocked at the combination of violence and gentleness, forgetting to fight back as he stood there motionless, his hand still holding on to Shadow's own, entranced by him.

Shadow paused when he reached Kira's lips before pressing on it and murmuring under his breath, " How did it feel like kissing Athrun?"

" What?" Kira asked foggily. Shadow's lips curled up, a cruel smile, he was completely controlling Kira. Retracting his hand from Kira's lips, Shadow drew it back before slapping Kira at full force, shocking him out of the trance that he had been in.

" What the hell!" Kira cursed before glaring at Shadow whom was laughing, his violet eyes sparkling with mirth.

" It is so easy to control you don't you think? The strong always controlled the weak and you Kira Yamato are certainly extremely weak." Shadow's hand lifted and caught Kira's face again before he could turn away and forcing Kira to look into his own violet eyes.

" You have always been afraid of me. That's why you kept me locked up here." Shadow spat out the words, his breath coming onto Kira's face as hatred coated every word that Shadow uttered. Kira winced at both the pain and the accusation, he did not know what Shadow was speaking about, he had never locked anybody anywhere. He did not recall anything.

" You don't remember?" Shadow asked dangerously, he was clearly on the edge as his fingers clamped down even tighter on Kira's chin. Forcing down a whimper of both fear and pain, Kira stared back into Shadow's eyes, challenging him, not backing down.

" I see. Well let me tell you what happened, Kira…"

Letting go of Kira, Shadow waved his hand to encompass the whole room. " This is my prison, my Hell. You knew that somehow deep down inside you are not what you seem to be on the surface, you wanted to be accepted and with me dominating your personality, you could not risk it. People fear the dangerous and you could not afford them getting the notion of wanting to tame the untamable, you wanted to dominate, and so you became afraid of that side. Hence this."

" I don't understand…" Kira replied, his head swimming with Shadow's accusations, he really could make no sense of this conversation at all. Had he really done that? If so, why did he not remember a single damn thing and where was that sense of guilt coming from? He did nothing of that sort and had no reason to feel sorry for Shadow.

As if knowing what Kira was thinking and manipulating Kira's vulnerability, Shadow leaned in and whispered," You don't need to understand Kira, all you have to do now is return me to where I rightfully belong, I've been patient for too long, tolerated your own incompetence and stupidity and right now, I feel like I could just kill you and be done with it for all the wasted time."

Hearing the menace in Shadow's voice and knowing he meant it, Kira stumbled back, instinctively wanting to try to bring at least some distance between the two of them but failing miserably as he forgot the coffee table. He ended up sprawled on top of it, his breath knocked out of his lungs and head smarting from the hard knock. Fearfully he looked up at the no longer smiling Shadow and tried to scramble away, ignoring the pain.

" It's no use Kira, don't you think I've been trying to escape this hell? Do you know how irritating being trapped in your own body feels like? Only able to look on as you played the goodie goodie two shoes to the perfection? I felt like I could just puke." Shadow said levelly, but Kira could see the well of emotion that threatened to erupt beneath the calm façade.

" However…" Shadow was smirking as he said gleefully, "As much as you wanted to be Mr Nice, those friends of your in the university really irked you and you wanted to silence them once and for all, didn't you? You fantasized about blowing them up, torturing them as they pleaded to you for death, you enjoyed those fantasies, you wanted to break them and destroy them. You wanted them to suffer." A maniacal gleam appeared in Shadow's eyes as he pinned Kira down towards the glass table with both his hands and body. They were once again together and Kira had no way to escape.

Bending down to lick Kira's neck, his tongue trailing towards his collarbone, Shadow amused himself when Kira whimpered and tried to twist away. " You like this? But don't you think it's a bit perverted? I'm you and you are me, what do you think sex would be like? I know where you want to be touched, what you like and what you don't, we would be perfect for each other, wouldn't we?" He breathed out seductively, hands roaming along Kira's slim body.

" Get away from me, you bastard." Kira spat out, his breathing already uneven, cheeks flushed.

" I have been cooped up in here for so long, I do yearn for bodily contact, extreme bodily contact. I've been deprived of it so long and now here you are…"

" You. Are. Insane."

" Yes, I'm…aren't I? That's why I'm here and you are out there." Shadow said, oddly pensive, violet eyes hidden behind brown bangs as all movement ceased. Silence fell upon the room, thick and choking as the awkwardness bore down on the both of them. Shadow's vulnerability caught Kira off guard, he refused to think Shadow as a part of him, a living breathing, feeling human being, he was so much easier to think that he was the one being wronged. He was wronged, was he not? He was the one being molested by his own evil " twin".

Kira's train of thoughts were broken when Shadow removed one of his hands which pinned Kira's above his head and held it out. Not knowing what to expect, Kira could only look and wait. Shadow's eyes were still hidden and Kira had no idea what he was running through the other's head. But, eventually, nothing happened and as sudden as his attack on Kira started, Shadow moved off and stalked off towards the other end of the room, a slim figure with his hands in his pocket cutting a lonely portrait with the beige walls as a backdrop.

Shocked, Kira could not react for a full minute as the tense silence continued. Finally, Kira pushed himself up from the furniture and looked, really looked at Shadow for the first time, his violet eyes softening with each passing second.

" I don't need your pity, Kira Yamato, don't make me hate you more. I did not want to do that to someone lying down but I will do it now." Turning around once more, Shadow's ferocious expression was back onto his face, holding his hand out, a vase from behind Kira whooshed pass his head, nearly crashing into Kira before moving away by a hair's breath.

Shadow's lips curled up into a malicious smile as he said, " I can kill you so easily here."

" What do you want?"

" Have I not made myself clear? I want to be free."

" But I can't let you."

" Oh but you will…you will indeed."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

It was five on a Sunday morning and pitch black outside when the limousine carrying Lacus Clyne rounded up the sloping driveway of Clyne Company. Lacus, so absorbed in her own world, did not notice that she had reached her destination until her personal chauffeur knocked slightly on the tinted window on her side to gain her attention. Looking apologetically at Henry, she nodded once to show that she was ready.

" Thank you Henry." Lacus murmured, mind still far away.

Sighing silently at his mistress, Henry merely handed Lacus her coat and wished her a nice day before he went back into the vehicle. Looking into the rear mirror, watching Lacus, he wished not for the first time that Siegel Clyne, Lacus's late father was still here. Henry had no doubt that Lacus is an able, competent leader, but there were times when he still think that jobs such as which Lacus were holding now should be done by a man. He was no chauvinist, not by a long shot, but he loved Lacus like a daughter and like any father, he wished that his own daughter should not work so hard.

Looking at the towering building of glass, the empire Siegel Clyne had created while he was still the chairman of ZAFT's council, Henry wished that he had not been so successful or so thorough in building up his backup plan. Siegel had once confided in Henry, a close friend of his, that he would get out of politics soon and concentrate instead of bettering the futures. Henry had listened with admiration in his eyes, it was not everyday when somebody thought of the future instead of the present and money and vowed his servitude to that man.

Henry was a nobody back where he had came from. He was not a professional, he was not even worthy of being called a man. He was only one thing. A coward. The name had stuck, the feeling of inadequacy had grew and blossomed into guilt and anger and it nearly destroyed him. He went through alcohol, consumed drugs that made him violent and depressed and desperately broke. Smelling like a dump and owning nothing except the clothes on his back, Henry, then in his late twenties had to turn to petty crime for the cash.

Henry swore that whatever next happened was fate. He had been eyeing the blonde haired man as he walked slowly down the pavement, window shopping. He had a serious look on his face, his brows furrowed together as he scrutinized the displays. Henry had snorted under his breath, his eyes holding contempt for that unknown man. Who in their right mind shopped for children's clothing so seriously? Henry justified his actions by trying to convince himself that the man he was about to pickpocket was a pedophile and before he hesitated, he took off running and ran smack into the blonde man.

Hands deftly manipulated the leather wallet out of his back pocket before pushing his victim back and onto the floor, cursing loudly as he did so. Henry did not look back as he stalked away from the man, not knowing he had just robbed the chairman of the country he had escaped to. The next day, Henry had lived like a king. The money in the wallet had not been much, but, it was enough to get him going for a week at the least. And it was on the second day when he had been caught.

And the rest as they said was history.

Siegel Clyne had saved him from himself when he had needed it the most. Henry had swore that he would protect Siegel from any harm and would rather die doing so than to live. However, Henry thought mirthlessly, he was still very much alive and Siegel, very much dead. What a perverted sense of humour the beings above had. He hated them yet could not bring himself to hate them more than he hated himself and he had dropped back where he had started.

Depressed, hateful and helpless.

Putting the limousine into first gear and slowly releasing the clutch, he inched slowly away from the entrance. Henry did not pick up speed until he was sure Lacus was safely into the building. He really did not deserve to live and if only he could exchange his life in order to bring back Siegel, he would. Lacus would then be what she really should be and he would be able to repay what he had took. But, reality really sucked. Henry knew that no matter what he did now, he was nowhere near repaying the debt that he owned the Clyne family. His second chance of life was given to him by Lacus herself. She had given him a motive, a goal in life, the reason why he was still breathing. She had told him that she needed him.

And that was enough.

………………………………………………………………………………..

Lacus's heels clicked sharply against the cold marble while the two silent watchers followed from behind, their presence noticeable but not suffocating. They were well trained and loyal. They were like Henry, men Siegel, her father had saved. Lacus was extremely thankful for her father's foresight, he had surrounded himself and his daughter with people who would never betray them. Yet, it certainly had not been enough for him to be able to stay alive.

Dispelling those discomforting thoughts of the past, Lacus concentrated instead of why she was here- a private meeting with the some of the members of the PLANT Supreme Council. The PLANT Supreme Council was an elected twelve member executive ruling committee, each representing a sector or city of the groupings of the PLANTs. Each member is also assigned to one of five committees - Judicial, Administrative, Legislative, Diplomatic, and National Defence, each with its own chair. She currently sat on the National Defence, a seat that was turned down by Ishida Toshiro. These committees overall were governed by Eileen Canaver, the protégé of Ishida Toshiro.

Lacus mentally ticked at the checkboxes at the people whom she was supposed to meet up with later. There were three of them, three people that she was convinced that they were on her side on not on Ishida's, they were the ones who opposed the idea of war the most when it most mattered. They were Justin Song, Tracy Robb and Ken Kurosaki, three people with enough influence when push comes to shove. They were loyal followers of Siegel in the past and Lacus was counting on that certain fact for her future plans.

Tracy Robb. An elegant woman with an extremely high intelligence quotient, IQ. She was the first female in the chair of the Judicial committee and originated from September City. She had grew up dirt poor and worked her way up. She was ruthless because she knew what she wanted and would do anything to get it. Lacus knew for a fact that Tracy had slept with quite many men as stepping stones using her beauty and the men's stupidity to reach her goals. Tracy did not like that side of her but she accepted it, she knew that beauty was a weapon if used correctly and she had used it the best of her ability.

Lacus smiled when she remembered Justin Song. A man with ethics and a strong belief in doing what was right, he befriended everybody and could charm even the pants off the most reserved. He smiled at everybody and people who worked with him never wanted to leave. He was firm yet he never forgot what it was being at the bottom. He knew the limits of his employees and worked around it. A round jolly man in his mid fifties, with a deep booming voice like Santa Claus on Christmas, Lacus had always liked him, his stories during those dinners so long ago kept her amused and wanting for more. They were outrageously humorous yet remaining earthbound and logical. He was the storyteller with a flair.

Ken Kurosaki. A plain, unnoticeable man with brown hair and eyes the colour of mud hidden behind a pair of spectacles which had seen better days. He hunched and whispered when he talk, always looking so frail and weak, about to faint anytime soon. People noticed him because of his extreme height but forgot soon after. In fact, Lacus believed that he would be the tallest man in , he was seven feet tall with legs as long as a mile. He towered above everybody and he was incredibly self conscious about that. His hair was thinning in the middle and he was twitchy, nervous, and lacked the confidence to talk up in a crowd.

"Thank you for coming." Lacus greeted them to all of their nods. Justin was beaming at her but he refrained himself from saying anything that would undermine her power in front of these people and changed his expression appropriately. This meeting, though the contents not revealed by Yukito, Lacus's personal assistant, it had seem interesting enough to attract his attention and besides, he had yet to see Lacus in person for quite some time.

" Gentlemen, Ladies, if you would follow me." Yukito appeared from the hallway into the small reception area where all of the people of importance stood. He led the way through the lit carpeted hallway that softened all of their footsteps into one of the meeting rooms there. Lacus had arranged earlier for it to be swept for electronic bugging devices in preparation for this meeting. What they were about to discuss here was confidential and should not fall into wrong hands.

Especially, Ishida Toshiro's hands.

Lacus's company settled themselves into position, filling the left and right side for two with Ken and Justin on the right, while Yukito and Tracy on her left. Lacus took out her notes, a small stack of them that recorded what she had wanted to say and sat at the head of the meeting, the others looking at her expectantly. They were curious as none of them had been briefed on anything and it was the tone of Lacus's voice during the formal invitation that they had decided they should attend.

" The meeting shall commence now…"

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Author's Note : I hate being late and I sincerely beg your forgiveness for being so. I hope that you like this chapter and if the pace is moving too slow, or that the fiction is lacking in emotion, please tell me so. What is Lacus about to present? Would they help her? What is to happen to Kira? Would Cagalli get out of what is happening to her?


	15. Sacrifice

" _**The meeting shall commence now…"**_

" _**Have I not made myself clear? I want to be free."**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Fourteen

Decisions

Lacus Clyne is known for her calm, analytical mind and somewhat idealistic ideals during the war three years ago. People looked up to her, listened to her, followed this slight pink haired girl, because they believed that she would bring that elusive peace, that one thing everybody craved and dreamt about. They had daringly, without second thoughts, put their hopes in her slim build and piercing grey eyes.

And she had not disappointed them.

During those trying times, she had conquered most of the hardships, using her own private wealth and the people who were willing to give up their lives for that one goal. Her father had brought up a daughter who was able to sacrifice anything and everything, patiently biding her time, planning and making sure for the good of mankind. Failure was something that never occurred to her single minded toil towards that one goal and people remembered her for that determination and tenacity of a dangerous pit bull.

It was, in fact, this personality that Cagalli Yula Athha admired and wished herself to be, as she had told Lacus quite frankly in the past, Lacus remembered wryly. And because of that admiration, it came as a hard blow when Lacus changed her pitch suddenly. She was enraged, disappointed, disbelieving when Lacus had told her what she had intended to do without any warning. The friendship between the both of them ceasing to be, as if the years they had in the past had never ever happened.

However, Lacus knew that she had to face up her fears now. She had to move, she understood about the consequences if she faced up to Ishida Toshiro, the destruction of that colony had been proof of how trigger happy that person could be. Yet, she had to do it now before it was too late and she knew that Ishida was not a stupid man. The realisation came slightly too late, Ishida had been toying with her for too long now. Lacus knew that he could no longer afford to blow up anything, he had set the bombs yes, but, he would think twice in depressing the trigger.

Lacus faced her company grimly, accessing all of their faces while privately she knew that they were doing the same to her. They were smart people, savvy human beings with the utmost goal in life was to serve themselves first before the others. Yet, these people were not as selfish as the other council members that were quite loud in their standings. These belonged to the moderate faction where their needs were equally balanced by the needs of others. Lacus understood that fact and planned to use it to her own agenda.

" Thank you for being here." Lacus said as a greeting towards these important people, her eyes looking solemnly at each of them, making eye contact, allowing them to know that she appreciated them here and hoped that whatever she said would be taken seriously by them. Yukito had by now distributed the four documents he had shown up carrying with him, bound by black paper combs and each carrying at least half a inch on its thickness. He sat down in one corner, as usual, to take notes and to aide Lacus in whatever she needed.

The meeting room was silent except for the sounds of paper being turned over. Lacus did not bother to open hers as she knew what information was contained inside- blueprints of the facilities containing the clones, the details regarding those matters, the fact that it should have been closed down, the orders that came ignored and overridden by a personnel powerful enough to do so and last of all, the reports of the team specially assigned to that particular case which somehow or rather "missed".

Instead, she used the available opportunity to observe the expressions on her company's faces. Lacus had to admit that all three of them would be rather successful players of poker, their faces devoid of any expression till the end. It made her a more than a little nervous, she had betted on these people to know nothing about what Ishida Toshiro was doing, but their game faces gave nothing away. They could be merely humouring her and enjoying this little acting game with her at their expense.

Pushing away her paranoia, Lacus continued to stay calm as she allowed the others to take their time. There was no use pushing until they were well and ready. Meanwhile, Yukito looked on discretely at Lacus's profile, his mind whirling at the possible consequences that would occur when Ishida found out about this small excursion. Yukito was well aware of the fact that Ishida would not be able to work alone in whatever that he was planning, but that bastard had been able to hide the people who were in with him so well, as to leave no visible trail at all. Any one of these three could be cahoots with that mastermind and the frustrating fact was that neither Yukito nor Lacus knew for sure who it was.

Yukito pushed back that nagging guilt about the fact that he knew who Toshiro was, if he could just tell Lacus, everything would be easy, everything would fall into place and the plan that Ishida was about to launch would be terminated. However, there were two aspects that prevented Yukito into doing so and namely the primary one was that he was still in love with that heartless person and secondly, the truth would probably be the end of Lacus Clyne. Hating himself more and more as each second passed, Yukito forced himself to block his thoughts and focused and the matter at hand.

Tracy Robb was the first to speak up. Closing her copy, she looked straight into Lacus's grey eyes while the latter met it unflinchingly. " I assume that this is all true." She said slowly, tapping at the papers.

" I have no need to lie." Lacus replied.

" And what is it that you want us to do?" Tracy asked again, wanting Lacus to state out her motive for everybody to hear. Vague commands in the past had resulted in disastrous consequences and her shoulders were not broad enough to shoulder the responsibility nor was she particularly self sacrificing to burden herself in second guessing. Many a person had wrongly assumed and had dug their graves with that one careless step. Tracy did not intend to throw what she worked for so hard down the drain, she needed to hear the confirmation from Lacus's own lips. It was merely procedure.

Lacus understood the play and she cleared her throat slightly before she began, " In your hands are the proof that a certain person in our committee, who I shall not name for now, have violated certain rules. Those facilities were supposed to be shut down three years ago, yet, they are fully operational and functional. This is sufficient reason that among us, there are still those who wish that the war three years ago had not ended the way it has, it seems that there are still people who wants the Naturals wiped."

" Naturally, these factions still exist and as long as they are dormant, it is fine, we cannot tell people how to feel and to stop them from thinking that way. I understand that many are not satisfied by the way the world is now, and the current government have no time nor the money to pamper everyone. Rebuilding what the war has destroyed has taken a toll out of our current resources as I need not state further."

Pausing as her eyes scanned the room, Lacus tried to discern what her audience was thinking about, if they were buying what she was trying to put them up with. Lacus had the impression that she was not unlike an insurance agent, trying her hardest to sell her point to a group of people who had too much safety nets to fall back on in their hands.

Waiting a full thirty seconds to pass, she continued, " This particular group that we are discussing is dangerous, their leader is smart, vicious and definitely not somebody to take lightly. For now, there have been no demands, no visible movements, no statement made, but we cannot merely stand by and wait because by not knowing what they are planning is among one of the reason why we have to find out the people behind the scenes, pulling the strings and to get rid of them."

" Miss Clyne, don't you think that the word "getting rid" of them is rather strong?" A timid voice spoke up, his face blushing beet red when the other members in the room turned to face him. Ken was a well known pacifist, a man with a reputation of hating bloodshed and a certain strong passion for helping the needy. However, some in the council did not take kindly to his attitude and saw his kindness as being a chicken and somebody who could not be trusted to make the right decision if needed.

" I understand your point of view Kurosaki san, but, this is a matter that we cannot take lightly. By allowing them to move, they pose a dangerous threat to the wellbeing of this current government." Lacus stated calmly, her voice not rising nor falling, a statement that needed no strengthening.

" Miss Clyne, you have stressed again and again that the leader is smart, vicious and so on but yet, you are reluctant to give us a name, a face to apply to that description. Is there a reason for you not to?" Tracy asked crisply, her eyes boring a hole into Lacus's defences.

Looking on at the exchange, Yukito promptly tensed at that question and his eyes flicked immediately towards Lacus. He knew that by not revealing the puppeteer, it is hard for someone to be able to take anything seriously, but….

" The leader is unknown." Lacus answered coolly as the others looked on. It was not the untruth, she had no face to put with the man, she had no memories of the man, whatever that contained him was a mass blur, a shadow censoring his features, his characteristics. She only remembered her hatred, her helplessness, the inability to do anything as he pulled her strings. The council members should know but somehow there was something holding her back, preventing her to utter his name.

" Miss Clyne, you are trying to ask us to commit to something that you have no name for, no idea who and what their ulterior motives are, not to mention no proof at all of their so called 'viciousness'. What you have merely presented to us is something that you should have been able to control, those facilities were under the supervision of the national defence committee, not the judicial committee. And yet, you had no idea what had happened under your nose, what reason is there for us to help you?"

" Maa..maa…Tracy san. It's no use getting worked up over such matters, Lacus must have a solid reason for us to be here. I trust that you do not believe that she has merely called us for a useless meeting right? After you have worked with her for so long, certainly you know how her character is, she does not do anything that is a waste of everybody's time." Justin Song intervened, trying to diffuse the tense atmosphere.

" My judge of character is irrelevant here. What I'm more concerned about is the facts, we cannot just allot time for things that have a weak basis, I understand the need for caution, I even applaud Miss Clyne for having the initiative to take these matters in her own hands, but, unless there is a name, a face, something for us to work by instead of all these assumptions based on a few facilities that are supposed to be closed down but instead are not, we cannot waste our time." Tracy said forcefully, her impatience evident.

Justin sighed inwardly, Tracy was a woman with little patience for fools but she was right. What Lacus had presented to them was incriminating but not strong enough to warrant them action. It was, if kindly spoken of, a pebble dropped into a sea, creating ripples but disappearing from sight as soon as it sunk. This case was weak to say the least, it was filled with holes and the puzzle it presented was just too vague. Tracy was always right in the matter that none of them had any spare time on their hands to run around in circles. He had his experiments to run on micro-engineering while Ken had his own load in agricultural engineering.

" Miss Clyne, is there anything else that supports your claims?" He asked gently. It was not a hidden fact that he was extremely fond of this young girl who had blossomed so beautifully since he had known her from young. It saddened him when Siegel had passed away that soon, assassinated by those radical idiots who did not know what was good for them. The Lacus of the past had been a serious child but her grey eyes then still sparkled with life and zest, unlike the ones now. Her eyes now held the wisdom that was more appropriate for women three times her age, they held bitter experience and the ability to look at the world for all its ugliness and seldom its beauty.

Turning her head to face Justin, she allowed herself to smile before shaking her head, " I'm sorry Justin, there is nothing else. This is what I have found till date, I'm sorry if I wasted your time." Lacus said getting up. All in all this meeting had merely lasted for no more than thirty minutes.

Tracy Robb hid her impatience and disbelief before standing up regally, looking at the younger girl from her height of six feet. " No matter, if you have found better evidence and still need out help, you are welcomed to call. Yet, I must warn you, if someone calls wolf too many times, people tend not to believe them anymore. Good day to you Miss Clyne." Sweeping out of the room, Tracy left the other two men in her wake.

Standing up, Ken Kurosaki bowed towards Lacus before exiting, saying nothing. He was a man of few words and Lacus understood that he was not snubbing her on purpose. It was his nature to be as quiet as a door mouse, looking and observing and only braving himself to speak up when it is needed to. Lacus looked at his hunched posture making his way slowly out the door before returning her attention to the uncle she had always liked.

" Gomenasai, Uncle Song." She said softly, sincere. She had not intended to waste their time but she had to do so. Planting those seeds of doubt, of somebody intending to disrupt their comfortable lifestyle was essential. Lacus knew that Tracy would do anything in her power to squash anybody who threatened her wealth, she had been poor once and she would never be poor again. She had worked too long and now was just tasting the sweet fruits. She would send her own team of investigators to dig about. And that had been Lacus's main purpose.

It was the same with Ken and Justin Song. Both of them needed funding for their research, they were dedicated scientists first and politicians second. Their work meant more than the polite talk of luxurious parties thrown for politicians. They were honest to God people who merely wanted to make the world a better place with their experiments. It did not hurt, of course, if there succeeded and their names remembered eternally. With that, Lacus knew that it was an extremely strong and proper motivation for them to pull whatever available strings that they have to be able to stay in their current positions.

" You do not seem as upset as you are supposed to be." Justin remarked, his eyes scrutinizing the pink haired girl who merely looked at him expressionless, her grey eyes revealing nothing. He heaved a soft sigh as his brown orbs turned sad, all the while wondering what happened to the happy six year old who hid nothing from anybody, always wearing her heart on her sleeve. He lifted a hand as if wanting to pull Lacus into a hug but dropped it immediately when she shook her head slightly.

" Thank you Uncle Song, but do not worry about me, there are certain things that I have to do and I can no longer be the six year old you knew. I appreciate your concern for me and if things have not progressed as they did, I would still be that little girl from last time loving your stories and enjoying papa's attention."

" Lacus…things do not have to be this way, you could give it all up before….." Justin stopped promptly, swallowing his words as Lacus shook her head sadly.

" Give what up Uncle? There is nothing for me to give up, this is all there is. Papa left me this company, the people who work in Clyne, I have to carry that responsibility till the day I die. I cannot and will not let others down. Do not worry about me Uncle Song, and I apologize for the inconvenience." Lacus said politely, signalling that the current conversation was over, she had no need to say anything about her current well being because it did not matter. Nothing else mattered except saving the people from the hands of a madman.

It was all she had to do as she had found yet another significant discrepancy in the information that led to another discovery.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

A slight wind was ruffling the sheer curtains in the guestroom, the cloth moving gracefully and slightly to the soft natural breath. The moon was still bright outside, illuminating the dark room, providing it with some light. Hinata Yui had commanded the centralized computer to switch off the air conditioning and to turn on the heat when she noticed Cagalli Yula Athha shivering quite violently right after Dr Clancy had stalked off in disgust and anger. It had worked and Cagalli's shivering slowed and finally stopped.

Breathing a sigh of relief, Hinata had reached up to touch Cagalli's forehead, wanting to smooth away the locks of golden hair that had scattered around her heart shaped face, but, instead had found something new to worry about, her eyes narrowing as the unnatural heat warmed, no nearly burned at her hand. Hinata refused to jump into conclusions and reached out to touch Cagalli's cheek and for the first time noticing the slight flush.

Cursing at her inattention, Hinata stood up hurriedly before striding towards the bathroom and opening the medicine cabinet. Pausing a little, as she worried more about the consequences of Cagalli downing Paracetamol, she gritted her teeth and replaced the glass bottle. Drenching a clean face towel hanging on the rack, she squeezed it dry before walking briskly back towards the bed where Cagalli lay with her eyes tightly closed, looking so vulnerable.

Blinking furiously, Hinata bent down to place the cool, damp towel on Cagalli's burning forehead, refusing to cry and waste time feeling helpless. She would allot time for that later but now, she had to take care of Cagalli. Hinata knew deep down that she should have insisted that Dr Clancy stay, to make sure that Cagalli was indeed all right and needed no medical attention, but, she had went against her better judgement. Removing the towel that was no longer cold, she walked back towards the bathroom for the second time.

………………………………………………….

Cagalli was dreaming again. But, this time, the dreamscape was very different from what it had been in the beginning. For starters, she was no longer in a forest and while looking around her, she discovered that she was in an empty house with absolute no furniture, nothing at all that took up space. She took an unsure step, almost afraid that the floor would suddenly give out under her, her confidence growing slightly when it did not. She halted in her steps when the images sent to her brain blurred at the edges, it almost seemed like a transmission from a security camera, coloured but still fuzzy.

Shaking her head, ignoring the deep pit of fear forming, she continued to walk. Appearing out of nowhere in the middle of the living room, a curving stairways made out of white marble provided her a way from the first floor to the second. Cagalli smothered a scream that was a minute too late due from the shock of its suddenness. She squinted her eyes to see above her, but the lighting was too dark, only showing her the steps and nothing more. It was as if somebody was trying to lead her somewhere but till she reached her destination, they wanted that certain end to be a well guarded secret.

Cagalli balked at the stairway, her steps faltering, her fear gripping her. Her curiosity wanted her to walk up but her logic told her to stay put and try to wake up and get out of this dream. In the end, her curiosity won and Cagalli closed her eyes, willing her pounding heart to stop racing and took in deep breaths. Not knowing how long she did that, but undoubtedly feeling better after that, she proceeded to take that first marble step, keeping one foot down on the ground and the other on the marble, taking her time, not wanting to rush it.

Bravely, she made her way up, pausing every few steps or so to look back, not wanting to but not able to help herself. Realising her own tendencies, she thought to herself that her too cautious attitude was definitely different from her younger self. She knew that in the past, she would not have hesitated to plunge head first into anything and this flight of stairs would have been a breeze, she had never looked back, doing everything her heart tells her and regretting nothing. However, all of this were in the past, now, after the war, she was more like a coward, always looking, always regretting. She was starting to hate this wimpy self, hating it but yet, still doing nothing to change that downward personality spiral.

Gritting her teeth, she arrived at the middle of the staircase, her feet stopping and refusing to move any more progressing instead to shake and tremble. Her fear that she had blanketed, smothered was now taking control and overpowering her determination. It could no longer be ignored anymore. She gave up.

" I can't." Cagalli half sobbed out in frustration, hands clenching the carved railing tightly. She looked helplessly at the remaining steps, trembling slightly and did not understand why she was being this way.

Crouching down defeated, she slumped against the gilded thin metal, tears leaking out from the corners of her closed eyes. Anger and frustration coursed through her veins, as shame ran undercurrent. She had thought she was better equipped to face the challenges, she thought she had grown up, but she was pathetic. The rollercoaster ride of emotions, knowing other people supported her and liked her was like caffeine giving her that instant kick awake but gradually fading away till it was just a burden for her to perform.

" _Never be helpless Cagalli. Being helpless means not being control your own fate and being angry and frustrated about it won't help. You have to take things into your own hands and never give up. You'll always have people who would help you through anything."_

" But, papa, I don't have anyone here anymore." She answered the memory, missing her father terribly. Cagalli had never recovered, she thought she had, she forced herself to think she had, but in reality, she had not. Not when losing someone so important to her without any warning, she could not. She had not even gotten the chance to say goodbye.

" _You have two companions, search for them."_

" _You play a part in stopping a madman."_

" I can't even help save my county…." Cagalli muttered brokenly.

" _I'll always support you."_

" _There are people who will always support you, stand by you. This list proves it all."_

Hinata.

Cagalli's bowed head came slowly up, if not for anyone, she had promised Hinata that she would never let herself down. Taking in a deep breath as her resolved strengthened, pushing that disabling fear away, Cagalli felt much stronger. She still had Hinata, she still had Orb, she still had to stop a madman. Disgusted at herself, her weakness, Cagalli swore that this would be the last time she gave up, belittling her own abilities. So what if she was no longer the representative of Orb, so what if she held no power anymore, she had a goal, she made a promise, if not for the people then for the one person who had stood by her and supported her all these while. She would do it for Hinata Yui.

Getting up, Cagalli's golden eyes shone with determination as she defiantly stomped up the stairway, her footsteps resonating in the empty room satisfyingly. She had learned from the war, she had lost but she had gained too, she was no longer that abrasive, uncouth youngster. She had matured and that was not a weakness, being cautious had saved many a life, but she would no longer hold herself back from making important decision. She would stop wallowing in her own self pity. It had to stop now before she disgusted herself further.

Taking the final step Cagalli felt the relief rush through her like a potent drug. Exhilarated, she exhaled out heavily, not noticing that she had held her breath in. Jaded she was in the past, she blamed everything and everyone who had thrown her off balance for her failure, but she had never thought that it was her fault in the first place. She had much more to learn, before she deserved being her father's replacement. Being jaded did not suit her, her father had trained her to be the lioness of Orb not the weakling of Orb.

Cagalli's eyes swept the landing on the second floor, counting three doors in total. She had no idea which door to take but a whisper in the wind, an illusion to Cagalli's brain told her to pick the last and farthest door. No idea what she would find there, she decided to follow that whisper. As she neared the door, a sense of familiarity swept her and an image of a certain brown haired boy appeared in her mind.

Reaching out a slim hand, she opened the door.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………...

Nicol Amalfi was running. He had always been running. Away from a sad past, a disappointed past and now towards a turbulent future he did not plan to have. He slipped and nearly fell in his haste towards Yvette Carpenter's house, the bushes beside the path pulling viciously at his clothes, entangling its branches with cotton in a sadist's touch. Destroying, never loving.

Nicol's breath came out in short spurts. The distance from the main house towards the cottage was not far, but now, it seemed miles away. Panting though exertion, Nicol skidded to a stop in front of the well lit cottage. It's door open, it spelt trouble that Nicol knew he should have tried to prevent.

He should have known through Kira's eyes, his expression. His stubbornness and his attraction towards that dark haired stranger was apparent, but Nicol did not do more about it than a slap to his care's wrist. He should have warned him more, did something else, made Kira realise the danger that he was putting himself into. He had tried. And failed. Guilt coursing through him as the lessons of the past laughed gleefully in the recesses of his mind, its echoes distracting him.

" _I want to be like you in the future. A hero!"_

" _I'm no hero Nicol. I have never been, and never will try to be."_

" _But why Meng sensei? You are helping people, curing them of illnesses nobody else could. You can save everybody!"_

" _You are wrong Nicol… with each save, another dies. You cannot save everyone. That principle will only lead you on a path of self destruction and hypocrisy. No one can be a hero, they only exist in fairytales, no more."_

" _I don't understand."_

" _Soon you will, in the future you will."_

Nicol blinked, he did not know why that sudden memory forced itself out of its confinement in his mind, but there was no time to reflect. Frowning, Nicol knocked on the door calling Yvette's name, the force pushing the door open more, creaking with its efforts. Light from the cottage shone out but revealed nothing except a space empty of living beings. Nicol's brown eyes scanned the living space frantically for any immediate danger before stepping into the cottage. Wasting no time, he went from room to room, checking all of them out, the kitchen a warm respite from the biting cold outside.

As expected, Yvette's soft voice did not answer and silence greeted him instead. Disappointed and getting more and more wired by the moment, Nicol's alarm bells tolled even louder and faster, warning him about something he blamed himself for not being able to prevent. Whirling around from the living room, Nicol proceeded once more outside. His eyes felt abused by the cold, stinging from the harsh conditions, but Nicol ignored the burn. He scanned the night, moving slowly, using the light that seeped out the cottage's door to aid him.

His diligence paid off when his attention was drawn towards a movement towards his right, eight feet away from the cottage. Squinting into the darkness at the lump on the ground, his ears picked up faint murmurs that confirmed that it was indeed a living being and not just a pile of rotting wood.

" Yvette?" He called out tentatively, inching his way slowly till he was near enough for confirmation, fearing it was a trap. When he finally recognized the shock of wild hair, Nicol strode towards her direction hurriedly and squatted down beside her, pulling her gently up against himself as a soft wall to support her limp body. He stared down in shock at Yvette, taking in the half crazed look in her eyes, her dishevelled clothes and the angry red scar marring her neck. The tiny droplets of blood that had welled up from the wound had dried, creating an illusion of a dark red necklace on her pale neck.

_What the hell had happened here? _

" Athrun…my baby…my baby…" Yvette whispered, hands continuing to stretch out to the phantoms of the night, reaching for something that never was hers to hold, seemingly not hearing Nicol nor feeling him at all.

Awkwardly he held her, wanting no more than to shake her and ask about Kira's whereabouts. Nicol's interaction with people was rather limited, he kept to himself and troubled no one. He had tasted the fruits of trying to be a hero and he had been burnt, Meng sensei was right. He did understand now.

Frustrated at the turn of events and hopelessly out of his depth, he tried again to call Yvette's name in order to get any response from her. His main goal now was to get her back into the cottage where he could heal her and call for Elizabeth.

"Yvette, let me bring you to the cottage, the wind is too strong to stay out here without any warm clothing, all right? Come, let's see if you can stand up." Nicol said soothingly, trying to get Yvette to do what he says without startling her. Her condition right now would need more than a warm bed and healing, something had happened earlier in the evening which had shocked her, tore all her defences and trampled on them. His natural protective instincts reared its head, tempting Nicol, trying to convince him that this was the right thing to do. He should be the hero he was designated to be and Yvette was the perfect damsel in distress.

" _You can only save one and sacrifice the other."_

Reminded by the truth, Nicol ruthlessly pushed back thoughts of the damsel in distress. His main goal was Kira and nobody else, his mind taking on the cold persona he had to adapt to. Allowing a few seconds to pass, he grasped Yvette firmly under her armpits and attempted to heave her onto her legs and off the ground. Yvette was not heavy, she was thin bordering on downright unhealthy but when refusing cooperation, she was still deadweight. The wind was chilly and Nicol felt it seep through his jacket and into his bones, a cold reminder that time plundered on and waited for no one.

" Yvette, work with me. Help me, please." The calm in him splintering as he tried hard to restore it, the diamond patterns on the ground not far away from where both of them were standing taunting him with their presence. They were unremarkable. To an untrained eye, it represented nothing, just another pattern from another person's sole, a pair of shoes mass manufactured for the thousands of consumers who worked to buy them. However, to Nicol, it meant that Kira had been here and though Nicol's senses were not as attuned as Kira's, he could faintly make out the scent of blood still lingering in the air.

..Yvette with her neck marred.

.. Kira's recent shoeprints but not him.

Shit.

Nicol kept talking to Yvette, his voice betraying his impatience. Finally, it was as if she finally heard what Nicol was trying to say and her eyes widened while her hands stopped reaching and she slowly turned to face Nicol. His relief was soon overtaken by unsettledness because the current expression on her face was more frightening than the previous blank stare and Nicol had both his hands on Yvette for her support and none to defend himself in case she did something irrational.

" Yvette?" He called out gently, reigning in every other emotion. But, Yvette continued to stare and with more speed and strength that her slight frame suggested, her hands latched onto Nicol's shirt and pulled him closer till he could feel her breaths on his face.

" Save my son." She said monotonously as her eyes bore holes into Nicol's.

" Pardon?" Nicol wanted to make sure that his ears were not deceiving him and it was not just a mere memory.

" Save my son. Save Athrun." Yvette said again, this time more forcefully, with more emotion and not the dead robotic one from before, her voice husky and dry from earlier crying.

Images in front of Nicol blurred and he was thrown without warning into a past that had no business mingling with the present. Yvette's silhouette, her eyes, her desperation, welded with another woman who had pleaded with him, a bundle of cloth in her arms. She had merely asked him to save her dying son. Nicol started to tremble, the images chipping away at his defences and he struggled valiantly to concentrate, blurting out a question, " I don't know where to find him, do you know something that we don't?"

" Save him from Patrick Zala, he's the weapon that you have been searching for. Save your friend as well, Athrun has him."

Everything stood still at that revelation. The wind, time, his heart. Nicol could feel the blood rushing away from his face, roaring in his ears, the feeling of every single thing spiralling out of control. Patrick Zala. Everything had just crashed and burned.

Clenching and unclenching his fists, he fought to regain control of his swirling emotions, struggling to breathe, the dark hidden monsters resurfacing. He should have known something like this would happen. The niggling sense of unease that made him edgy was the warning he should have heeded. He should have prevented Kira at all cost from getting out of the room without supervision. He should have known how stubborn Kira was. He should have accompanied Kira when he said he wanted to go for a walk.

He should have known.

" Kuso." Nicol said through gritted teeth. Kira was his responsibility, his friend. And just because of his one moment of inattention, everything went down the drain. Nicol hated Patrick Zala, cursed at the Law of Unintended Consequences, but most of all, he was both angry and hating himself. The reason was deceptively simple, it was because he was the one who did everything wrong, he screwed up.

_What am I supposed to do from here? What should I do?_

Nicol stood with his head bowed, his light brown eyes hooded by his green fringe, he appeared to Yvette an unwilling teenager totally unmoved by her pleas. Yvette pushed down the bile rising up, the nausea, the dizziness. Her senses were all on overload, her son nearly killing her, his departure, the blood that spurted from Kira's neck, but nothing would detract her from what she wanted to be done. She forced down the howl that wanted to be free, she would do anything, anything he requested if only he promised her to bring Athrun back from the Hell he was in now. She had to make him to that. She had to.

And to Nicol's shock and disbelief, Yvette fell to her knees and her hands that were clutching at his shirt tightly let go, replacing itself instead on the ground beside her as she started to kowtow to him, her determined voice never stopping to ask Nicol to promise to save Athrun, an accompaniment to the morbid beat of soft flesh hitting the ground. The sound of Yvette's action pierced through the silent night and into Nicol's ears as the stones in front of Yvette started to turn bright crimson. It was just like before.

" _You said you could save him! You promised to save him!"_

" _He's the devil himself! He can heal! He's abnormal!"_

_A lady begging him, kowtowing to him, her blood running freely down her face, dripping onto his white shirt, her baby burning up with a high fever which was killing him slowly and surely in the process._

Nicol shook his head, trying to clear away those images that haunted his night. He did not want his past dragged into the present, they had no business here. He had put it away, escaped from it all. He no longer was naïve enough to think he could save the world and the only promise he would ever keep was the promise to keep Kira safe and stop Patrick Zala. His mind whirled and his world spun, as Nicol's widened eyes tracked the movement of Yvette's head, the colour of blood dotting the rough surfaces of gravel.

" Promise me! Promise me!" Yvette said, continuing her movements with more fervent energy, the staccato beat increasing in speed, slowly building to a crescendo. There was absolutely nothing else in her mind except that she'd do anything, everything to save her son, the single mindedness of this goal more important than her own safety and health.

" Stop it!" Nicol whispered weakly, covering his own ears to the sound.

" _You promised you could save my baby! You said you could! You lied!"_

" _You are useless. You are a demon!"_

" _Devil!"_

" Yvette!" Nicol tried again, his voice coming out restricted, choked. His limbs seemed stuck to the ground, unable, not wanting to move. He could not think, he did not want to think. Thinking meant remembering and all he wanted to do now was to bury himself somewhere and howl into the dark.

_Blood was everywhere, his hands, the ground, the sound of people dying reaching his ears even as he fled the village. The terrified shouts as the men from the village plundered through everything as they tried to prevent the plague from spreading. The once peaceful community burning away into ashes as Nicol ran away._

" No!" He whispered weakly, falling onto his knees as more buried memories assaulted him, hands clawing his hair, wanting to pull it out. Anything, anything to distract him from the past. Hatefully, he glared at Yvette, knowing it was her who did it, yet, another part of him accepted the fact that she was merely doing what she had to do to save her son and that part of Nicol knew he should stop Yvette, but he could not move.

Whimpering softly as Yvette's pleading and actions slowly drove him to the brink, the horror of his past repeating itself as Nicol remembered the stinging pain as the stones and knifes cut through his skin, the voices of those enraged villagers, the mother's cries, the fathers curses. He was supposed to heal and save, but he was just standing there watching somebody kill herself. He allowed Kira to be kidnapped, he disobeyed Meng sensei's orders, he was useless, he was hopeless.

_Save her! Stop her!_

Nicol's eyes watched the blood that had started to trickle down Yvette's face, following gravity as it pulled, painting her nose, getting into her eyes that were glittering with the determination to make him promise to save her baby. Nicol did not want to promise, could not promise.

_Save her! Stop her!_

" Save Athrun. Save him."

_Save her! Stop her!_

" You have to save him. Kira is with him."

_Save her! Stop her!_

" I'll tell you everything! I'll do anything."

_Save her! Stop her!_

" Promise me! Promise me!"

_Promise her! STOP HER!_

" Stop it! Stop it!" Something snapped in Nicol and he shouted, flying towards Yvette, his limbs finally able to move, his paralysis broken. " I promise! I promise!" He yelled at her as his fingers dug into her arms, preventing her hurting herself some more. He looked in distress at the wound, the broken skin, the blood, the stench of it, feeling his disgust of himself. The chain of his promise wrapping itself around him, binding his hands, his legs, another responsibility, another duty for his shoulders to bear.

" Yvette! Stop it. I promise!"

" Thank you." She said, tears falling freely onto her cheeks as she sobbed like a child as Nicol wrapped his arms around her and provided her a shoulder to cry on. Through her tears, he could hear a memory.

"…_You can only save one."_

And with that, the lock on his chains closed with a resounding click.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Patrick Zala could hear his mobile phone vibrating in the dark. Reaching out, he grabbed the small device and without any greetings merely grunted into the phone. He knew who was calling and there was no need to check. Only two knew of this number and only one would call at this time of the hour.

" Father, it is done. He's dead. The images would be coming in now."

" Well done my son. Good job."

" I have some other things to do. The girl is now with me."

" Oh?"

" I met her on the shuttle flight here to Orb. She's here with me. Would you want me to carry out the plan now?"

Patrick fell silent at the sudden turn of events. It would be best if Athrun could get those two on his side as soon as possible, things were moving faster now. A day before, Patrick had received the call from _him _and that things were about to progress to the second phase. Patrick had asked what it was all about but the other had refused to tell him, giving him only the cryptic you will soon know in time. Thinking about that particular conversation made his blood boil. Never had he been treated so mistrustfully, he knew he was a main player in this game, but evidently he was just the opposite to the hateful puppeteer behind the scenes. A pawn. And Patrick had never took kindly to another who took him as a willing pawn.

" Father?"

" Do what you have to do. It's about time."

" Yes. I understand."

" Good. Get rid of the body. You know what to do."

" Yes."

Snapping the mobile shut, Patrick closed his eyes, reflecting on the conversation he had with the unknown man. He understood that there was about to be some kind of mission, what it was about, he had no idea. The voice that contacted him was robotic, revealing nothing. His instructions were straight to the point, never wasting time. All in all, the calls always ended after sixty seconds.

Patrick heaved himself up from the chair. He was getting on with his age. Ironically, he had planned everything since young, how he was about to live, what he wanted to achieve, but the one thing he had never planned was to get old. He had always thought that one day he would be able to achieve that one elusive drug that promised eternal youth and he would be the first one to use it and gain youth.

Pushing those useless thoughts away, he walked towards the room at the back of the house. Dripping water breaking the all consuming silence, he had grown used to the incessant continuation of dripping, hating it but never able to do much without money and exposing where he was currently staying. Fishing out the keys he kept with him all times, he pushed the metal into the locks that held the door closed, waiting patiently till he found the correct position that would release the lock.

Patrick could feel the tension in him, the excitement whenever he came into this room. It was nothing special, merely the room that he used as his workplace, a place he came to when he needed absolute privacy from Athrun or to just escape reality to work. He had been working on a gadget, something as a backup plan in case Athrun's peculiar behaviour turned into something else that could threaten his safety.

Walking into the room, he reached out his right hand to switch on the lights. Responding immediately, the room lighted up. It was small but equipped with most of what Patrick had requested and happily he went about to tinkle some more with the device that he had been working on.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Athrun Zala looked at the brown haired teenager in front of him. He had snapped the needed photos for proof for Patrick Zala to show his client and now the body in front of him was useless.

But….

…. breathing. Albeit shallowly.

Athrun had realised whose throat he had just slit and he felt a small stirring where his heart was supposed to be. He did not understand the feeling, nor did he want to understand it. Emotions were dangerous in his line of work, he was used to it, and he trusted no one. Picking Kira up from the ground and heading back towards the woods to save him was an action that shocked even him. He was an assassin, a successful one that took many lives when he was bought to do the job. He felt nothing even as he killed, they were no one to him and he knew nothing about them. He talked to neither of them, killed every of them and left. That was his job, his existence.

Athrun had forgotten what it was to be normal. He craved that feeling, that elusive feeling of cleanliness, instead of the sticky substance that always seemed to be coating his fingers. Yet it was merely a craving, with nothing else attached. He had forgotten how it was to laugh, and could not remember even if it mattered what it was to cry. He was dead, by his choosing, and by Patrick's guidance, he had learnt to be dead. Athrun watched Kira's chest rise and fall. Rhythmically, it soothed him somehow to know that one of his victims did not end up dying. He knew he would face hell if Patrick somehow found out but there was no one here to tell.

Gracefully, he knelt down beside Kira's prone figure and lifted his hand to touch his face. Kira was a contrast on the dark ground, his features drawn and pale, stark white, lifeless. That unknown stirring came again as he looked down at him, his brown hair fanning out behind him, soft like silk. Stroking Kira's face gently, Athrun watched him, succumbing to that need to be here, content to just look as the time passed by, thinking of nothing and just looking, abandoning his burdens to just look. It was their own world, just for this moment, it belonged just to the both of them.

* * *

Author's note : YEEEESSS! I am connected! I apologize for the incredibly late update. Please do check my profile page just in case I posted something there okay? Do enjoy and whatever you want to say do say so. I will improve on it and answer your questions definitely.  



	16. Goodbye

"…**_You can only save one."_**

_**And with that, the lock on his chains closed with a resounding click.**_

_**Athrun Zala looked at the brown haired teenager in front of him. He had snapped the needed photos for proof for Patrick Zala to show his client and now the body in front of him was useless.**_

_**But….**_

…_**. breathing. Albeit shallowly.**_

Gundam Seed : Chapter Fifteen

Goodbye

Athrun Zala felt the sun coming up. His emerald green eyes opening and he blinked once, twice, to get rid of the grittiness of the morning. He observed the sun, watching it push the darkness back, slowly but surely, colouring the sky a combination of purple and pastel pink. His eyes scanned the horizon without direction, taking in the coming of the dawn, a beautiful sight to behold. Many associated this phenomenon with the ability to hope and yet Athrun could not bring himself to think the same. Light that came brought another day, another day for him to go through. Yet another aimless, mundane day filled with nothing.

_Blood spurting. His first kill. The trembling hands. The line that had been crossed, blurring at the edges no longer a boundary._

Athrun Zala looked down at his hands, an artist's hands, Yvette had used to tell him. She would slowly pick his fingers one by one, gently as she played with it, telling him he was beautiful. Was red on his hands beautiful? Did his hands still belong to an artist? It had been such a long time, since…since what? He did not know. Sitting here propped up against a tree with Kira by his side had been a mistake. A mistake he wondered if he would change if he had the ability to turn back time.

Taking his eyes away from the distance to focus on the brown haired boy, yet one of the many times he had done the night before, Athrun just contented himself by looking at Kira's chest rise and fall. He was alive though barely when Athrun laid his hands on him, that strange tugging feeling in his chest again when he recalled that specific image when the blood spurted out in that wide arc. He was standing behind Kira at that time and was spared the red droplets but his hands had been tainted by it when he had carried Kira away from the cottage.

Kira's blood was on his hands, the wet undeniable stickiness of it. He had indeed done his job well, or did he? If he did, why had Kira not died? He had cut deep enough, felt the knife's serrated blade inflict maximum damage, so why had he still survived? Was his skill degrading? If so, he had to do more to maintain his current way of life. It was his only way of life. Athrun closed his eyes doing his own post mortem, picturing the kill, of the near kill, ignoring the twinge that occurred every time he remembered the blade going in.

Yet, after a few minutes doing so, he gave up exasperated. He could not think of a single reason of his failure. Why? He agonized. He had been awed by the extremely fast healing ability Kira seem to possess, he had never seen someone except him who had this ability. The only remaining proof of the earlier assault on him currently was a slightly pinkish scar on his neck though Kira had also been helped along by the pill to thicken one's blood and coagulate at the wound to prevent him from dying from serious injuries. But yet, that was just the secondary mechanism not the main.

Athrun touched the healing scar on Kira's neck, feeling the heartbeat beneath his fingers as he did so, the rhythmic pumping of the heart that kept a person alive. It was so easy to strangle this sleeping boy, he would end his assignment once and for all and it would be a different death but who would find this boy's body to find out the reason? He had disappeared as many of the young teenagers in this world did. Nicol Amalfi would raise hell but what could he do with merely one pair of hands? Athrun could feel the lust of the next kill flooding through him, and his fingers itched to do its job…

… before he slammed both of his fists into the tree trunk behind him. Athrun could feel the skin split and blood dotting the surface of the injured part but he made no move to heal it, the pain a welcome relief from the red haze of blood lust. He killed and he had grown to love the feel of power, he knew he should feel disgusted of himself, but it was only relevant. Trained to be a weapon, he had no other purpose, the feeling of disgust buried long time ago. He had no regrets nor known any shame, he had never been brought up the correct way anyways. He knew nothing about valuing life, his own mother did not value his, so why should he?

Until now…until he had met with those brown eyes and the dreams he had had those past few years had meant something.

_Find him._

_He holds the key._

_To be free._

Athrun laid his head back unto the tree, feeling the cracked bits that he had caused dig uncomfortably into his back but he did nothing to clear it away as these were the only things that reminded him that he was alive. The five senses even if his heart was dead. Those dreams had haunted his sleep, occurring over and over again, feeding him with hope that he quashed every time he woke up as the dream faded back into the nothingness it came from. He had never told Patrick Zala about these occurrences, he would never tell him about something like this. Athrun lifted his head to the sky and watched a bird take flight, soaring up before allowing itself to glide with the wind.

He had to go soon. Miriallia Haww would be waking up and he had to get out of this place as soon as possible before Nicol caught up with him. He had to make plans, his next step of what to do. Without a doubt, those two boys would be here in Orb, they would come after their 'sister'. Athrun would have to devise a plan to get their attention, a way to make both parties meet, he had to get to work soon. Patrick was an extremely impatient man.

Yet, hearing Kira's soft breaths Athrun allowed himself to indulge for a little while more, he stroked Kira's cheek gently, enjoying the soft baby like skin under his fingers. Kira Yamato holds the key to set him free, he believed that. He had been nothing but unusual after he had first met Kira and the urge to take him was ever present. Yet, how is it that Kira was going to save a killer? How can an angel bear to be with a sinner? No matter how beautiful he is? There was no way Kira would ever look at him the same way after yesterday, this relationship was doomed from the beginning.

Athrun yearned to be free from his current life, who would want to be here in his shoes? His soul has been tainted, his conscience torn to shreds, he was anything but whole. He did not deserve to be saved, he had chosen the path his life was about to turn out. He was to kill or be killed, it was that simple. And he had most of all grown to love killing. Ironic wasn't it? He wanted to be free yet could never be free, the blood lust would always be there, reminding him of what he has become.

Getting up, Athrun brushed the dead leaves away from the seat of his pants, giving Kira one last look before bending down, kissing him lightly on the forehead and whispering something into the unconscious boy's ear. Accomplishing that, he set off in a dead run towards the cottage where his work was yet undone.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Kira Yamato faced his shadow, panting heavily. They had been exchanging blows, both sparring with each other with all stops pulled. Shadow Kira's violet eyes narrowed as he brushed his sweat soaked hair behind, trying to calm his racing heart. This was what being alive meant, his lips curled up into an animalistic smile, teeth barring, as he stared down at his other self. This was his element, this was him.

" Giving up, Kira?" He purred, slowly stalking his "prey". " You like this don't you? You enjoy this exhilaration. You don't want this to end. Join me and it will never end."

Kira stared back at the mirror image of himself, disbelieving, horrified to say the least. He did not want to continue being here, trapped in this space with this madman. He needed to be free, he had to be free. Through his peripheral view, he tried to formulate a plan, something in order to escape, he did not want to face this self of his, it scared him. Kira refused to allow himself to admit to what Shadow Kira was saying. To admit it was to mean that he was him and he would never do that.

" Are you trying to escape me?" Shadow Kira asked matter a fact as a shadow of loneliness passed like a cloud across his smooth features. Kira blinked, and that expression was gone in the blink of an eye from the other's features, regaining his maniacal grin and speaking. " There is no escape Kira, this is a fight to the death, a fight to see who is the strongest. I cannot allow you to take possession of this fine body when I know that I'm so much better than you."

" I heard every word Nicol said. You hold him dear don't you? Have you ever thought what it was to feel him next to you? I have. I imagined everything, his screams of pain and pleasure as I give him what he wants. Do you know how exquisite those sounds would be?" Shadow Kira said dreamily to a disgusted Kira.

" Shut up. Damn you, how dare you do that to Nicol I will never let you!" Kira shouted as he launched himself in Shadow's direction. Both of them parried, Kira punching while the other blocked, legs flicking out, trying to gain the upper hand. Kira had been trained to fight, to defend himself, he had enjoyed those sessions with his sensei and right now he was grateful for those gruelling sessions long time ago. The movements came easy to him but the shadow seemed to figure out what he wanted to do and countered with strikes that were equally as powerful and deadly as his own.

" This is pointless you know that right?" Shadow Kira taunted after a few moments. " I know what you know, I know what you want to do. All it takes now is who has the better determination and the will power to survive. Are you able to beat desperateness Kira Yamato? Are you able to fight me off who has been here for so long that I would do anything to get away? Are you able to fight against the one thing that you fear?"

" What motivates you to fight Kira? What do you have to live for? You did not want anything to do with Meng Sensei, not when you found out how Nicol had betrayed your trust. You wanted nothing to do with saving the world, you can't seem to save yourself either. So what is it that you want to do? What is it that you want?"

" I want you to leave me alone." Kira said through gritted teeth as he felt the breath whoosh out of his body when one of Shadow's blows connected with his body. Quickly, he resumed his stance and waited for his own chance to attack.

" You are nothing but a hypocrite. You just want to see Athrun one more time. You are a selfish bastard." Shadow chuckled before continuing. " However I on the other hand has waited for the chance for me to be free again, can you feel the raw power in me? Can you imagine the consequences when I release it? Do you want to know what I can do? I have yet to show you anything have I? You would be extremely amazed by your own potential."

"This is my body, it has nothing to do with you. I don't need you to tell me what I can do. I don't need to know anything, what I have is time. Even if I don't want any part of this stupid idiotic saving the world crap, Nicol is my friend and he needs somebody who can support him. He has not betrayed me no matter what you think, he has taken care of me all of these years. I'm the one who has been dragging him down. Don't say anything when you are the one who does not know anything." Kira dropped down into a squat, sweeping his left leg out in a wide arc, trying to kick Shadow Kira's legs from beneath him.

Shadow Kira grinned, anticipating that movement long time ago and easily evading it by jumping on top of the table just beside him. He retaliated, closing one of his hands around Kira's throat when Kira came up. Kira barely got his hand up, enabling himself some breathing space between Shadow's hand and his throat, he tried to push Shadow with his other hand but he was right out of reach. Instead, twisting his body around, Kira faced his own twin face to face and shoved him away from him using his free hand, making him stumble before distancing himself by moving backwards a few steps.

" I did not expect that, seems that there are times that I can't read your mind." Shadow murmured. He shrugged, not caring, this was getting interesting and though he would like to continue, time was pressing. In defeating Kira Yamato, there were more competent people out there just waiting for him to fight with and destroy. And Athrun would be his first opponent. Thinking about that fight made his blood boil, exciting him and he licked his lips in anticipation. Shadow Kira flexed his fists, opening and closing his fingers before he stopped his movements totally, it was time to show his pathetic twin who was the strongest in this fight.

Meanwhile, Kira looked at him warily, wondering and trying to figure out what Shadow was planning. He was trying to formulate a comeback plan in case Shadow decided to do something rash and reckless. He understood nothing about this place, nothing at all. Shadow had mentioned that this was what he had created for himself, a placing made out of his own personal imagination. Therefore, through this few revelations, Kira assumed that he could safely conclude that this was a part of his subconscious, a part of himself that he had never really realised.

However, this posed another problem. A serious problem. Would fighting here influence anything in reality? Would he wake up a vegetable because of this useless battle for his already dying body? Athrun had after all slit his neck. Even if he lived through this, he could barely live with that life threatening wound right? So why is Shadow Kira fighting so hard? No matter what his powers are like, he cannot create something out of nothing right? Kira's brain was working on overdrive and he could feel the strain of trying to think and concentrate on Shadow's attacks.

Shadow Kira smirked, understanding what Kira was going through. He was him after all and the reason why he wasn't affected was because he had nothing to think about. He had everything to gain and nothing to lose. Kira may not realise that his actual body had healed, Kira did not know anything. Not about the power that he possess or his destiny. But Shadow Kira knew. Had known from the start, the beginning. He was the product of an experiment that needed him to be a weapon, just like Athrun Zala, the Ultimate Coordinator that had tried to kill Kira. He empathized with him because he understood. He lived for nothing but for revenge, or payback. Meng sensei had created him for that sole purpose. Kira had had an easy life and it was now his turn to carry out what he was supposed to do.

It was time to end this.

Focusing his energy, Shadow Kira closed his eyes. Kira watched in fascinated horror as Shadow's aura seemed to increase in size, a black cloud that surrounded him like a shroud, darting, licking, seemingly with a life of its own. Shadow Kira raised one hand, eyes still closed, brows furrowed in concentration, and furniture started to shake and the ground beneath them seemed to tremble in response to his actions. Kira's instincts told him that if he waited he would be in danger of losing this fight. Without thinking, he threw himself unto Shadow, but he never did get to reach the other boy and to his utmost surprise and horror, he found himself suspended in mid air, the air surrounding him thick and hot like tar, choking him as he fought for his own freedom.

" What…what..the hell…are you!" He spluttered as he grabbed at the air and encountered nothing. Kira's violet eyes widened more in fright and stated to bulge as he felt the iron grip of the air around his throat tightening. He fought to get oxygen into his lungs but nothing came in. Kira could feel his strength ebbing, legs kicking out desperately, his consciousness waning as his body needs surpassed his oxygen intake. " Let…let…go..of …me…"

Shadow Kira watched with clinical subjectivity towards his own actions. Kira was struggling hard but the more he struggled the more the futility for his actions would hit him soon. Shadow Kira tightened his fists and he felt more than saw Kira's body jerk as the invisible hand around Kira's throat closed even more. Walking softly towards his prey, Shadow Kira raised his hands towards his choking other self, pinching his jaw hard and forcing Kira to look at himself, drilling the words into his brain. These were the last words Kira would be hearing.

" You are not powerful enough to control me nor your own powers. You can't even defeat me, how do you think you can defeat a killing machine like Athrun? Rest in peace here, you forced my hand. I did not want to kill you at first, you would have served me better if you were alive, your memories I had yet to take. I may be you but there are certain things, emotions that only you have felt and I need you to tell me about it. But, the more the pity, I'm sorry I have to kill you, but I will not regret this."

" Goodbye twin."

Kira stared helplessly at his own fate, he did not want to die, not now…but there was nothing he could do. Nothing. He could feel his own helplessness, his own inability to defend himself, he was useless just like Shadow said. Hope flickered as his own consciousness faded. He could feel a lone tear trickling down his cheek, the only thing that he was able to do right now. Closing his eyes as his oxygen supply slowly ebbed away, his heartbeat slowing, the blood that had rushed up towards his head still roaring but right now sounding as if it was in the distance, he forced his eyes open once more, to face his nightmare, the cold expression on Shadow Kira's face and finally gave up, but in his fading consciousness, he heard a familiar voice shouting and he smiled a little. Until now, he was still thinking about that blonde.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Dearkka Elsman and Yzak Joule walked aimlessly down the streets, it was early in the morning and the only people up were the people about to go to sleep. It was creepy, strolling down walkways that were made for more and the shuttered shops on both sides. The morning sun filtered through the clouds that filled the sky and shone weakly down, combining with the streetlight. Yzak was walking ahead of Dearkka and his strides were stiff. Neither of them had any rest since getting away from the airport and right now the fatigue was starting to influence them.

" Yzak." Dearkka called out softly, not willing to break the sense of peacefulness that permeated the air.

" What!" He snapped back, his nerves stretched taut, never slowing in his steps. He strode furiously on, unwilling to turn back and face his partner. He never wanted to turn back anymore, never to anyone. Dearkka quickened his footsteps to catch up, frowning at Yzak's attitude. He had been cold before but never this rude. Dearkka wondered what it was that Yzak wanted from him, or did not want from him. He could no longer read Yzak's mind, he thought that he understood him a little, but he obviously thought wrong.

" Yzak. Please. We have to talk." Dearkka tried to calm his irk and reasoned with the icy white blonde.

" There is nothing to talk about. I'm fine. Everybody is fine and can we please find a place to rest and figure out a plan to find Miri!" Yzak shouted back, his voice harsh in the night air, stopping Dearkka in his tracks, his eyes narrowing as his own temper arose.

Dearkka took a few calming breaths before resuming his follow behind Yzak. He watched Yzak walk without direction, merely following the path that led to God knows where. Dearkka decided to try again and he wondered not for the first time if he was a masochist.

" Yzak. We have to talk. Now." He stressed on the last word and this time more firmly. He grasped at Yzak's arm, trying to pull him to a stop, not the least expecting Yzak to retaliate by throwing a punch at him. His astonishment delayed his reaction by a few crucial seconds and his lip split as a result of Yzak's hard punch. Blood dribbled down his chin, Dearkka made no effort to wipe it away, his violet eyes blazing with anger.

Yzak looked taken aback by his own actions but hid his discomfort behind a wall of cool aloofness. He tried to make his voice work, to try to put in a snide remark about not needing Dearkka but could not find the words nor the will to hurt the person whom he had hurt enough. In the end, Yzak chose to evade and look away, his stinging knuckles reminding himself of what a bastard he was.

" Do you hate me that much?" Dearkka asked, his voice forcing Yzak to look at him, if for just a second before leaving. The desolateness in it choked Yzak, trying to suffocate him and so he continued to focus elsewhere, anywhere but Dearkka's bruising violet eyes. Moments of silence passed by the two of them, neither of them moving, neither of them giving in to the other. Dearkka wanted an answer that Yzak could not give. How could he explain what he himself knew deep down but did not want to admit?

" Do you really hate me that much Yzak? Answer me. It's just a simple yes or no. If you do, then tell me to the face and I'll leave you alone. If you don't want me near to be with you, tell me so I'll go. Don't get my hopes up and dash it. Don't treat me like I don't matter." Dearkka said, his voice quiet. His earlier anger vanquished by the fear that arose from Yzak's total silence.

Yzak's fists clenched and unclenched, his teeth gritting against each other, eyes still unwilling to focus on the teenager in front of him. Dearkka had seen him cry, had seen him weak. The last people who had seen these betrayed him, tortured him, treated him like dirt. They used him, experimented on him and left him alone once they were satisfied. Dearkka had promised that he would always be there, that one night when Yzak's walls had broken down, those few moments of total peace, it was still there lingering in his thoughts and he so wanted to grasp on to it, hold on to it tight.

" So what is your decision Yzak?" Dearkka's subdued voice broke through Yzak's reverie. Yzak's eyes flickered for a moment towards Dearkka's handsome face, a face of a brave warrior. Yet, at this moment, resembling a warrior without hope, sentenced to death at the gallows. He was the axe that would finally decide if Dearkka lived or died by a simple yes or no. Yzak had promised himself that he would live for himself, that he would try to forget the past, live in the future, the present. This would be his first step to do so, so if that was the case, why was he so afraid?

Yzak cleared his throat and swallowed a few times, trying to push down the lump that had arose. He was supposed to be unafraid, this was just a trivial matter, should his lover stay or go? Just as easy as that. Dearkka would heed his wishes, he had always did. He was the puppet and Yzak the puppeteer. Yzak alone held the power that he relished so much, he was in control right now in this situation. Yet, why did he feel so disorganised?

" I understand your meaning Yzak." Dearkka said, smiling sadly. Yzak's hesitation was the answer Dearkka needed and understood. Yzak did not need him, does not want him. Yzak had yet to get away from the past, not yet, maybe never. Time does not heal wounds that do not want to heal. Dearkka closed the distance between Yzak and himself, clasping Yzak's pale face between his hands, pulling him close before planting a soft kiss on his forehead. A sign of goodbye, of a love unwanted.

Pulling back, Dearkka gave Yzak a smile before turning around and retracing their steps from before. Lifting his arm in a careless wave, Dearkka walked away, away from his friend, his partner, brother and lover. The tears that he hid from Yzak now pooled and rolled unbidden down his cheek. He allowed the tears to fall, hoping that the early morning breeze could blow it away, his disappointment, his sadness. Wishful thinking all of these was. He had been living in a dream for that past few days and now was the time to wake up. He had to find Miri, this would be the goal for him to accomplish before he went back to Colony 5. To Nana. His only home.

Yzak watched Dearkka's receding back, wanting to call him back but not doing so. He was not as ready as he thought he was. Maybe this was all for the better. He wanted to find his niche in this world and leave his past behind. Dearkka reminded him of the past, a sweet past but still the days gone by. He needed no memories, just the ones that he would create on his own. Yet, as the morning sun rose to heat the pavement, Yzak could only feel the cold that seeped through his jacket and into his bones. The warmth that Dearkka brought, seeping away slowly with his every step. And soon, it was all gone when he disappeared from Yzak's view. He was now totally and  
absolutely alone.

* * *

Author's note: This is in fact a small, short chapter, I had wanted to make it longer but somehow this length seems perfect. The next chapter would begin the second phase of this story. I apologize for the irregular updates but life is crazy right now with a start of a new semester. I'm working hard on the next few chapters and I'm grateful for all of you who had reviewed. I'm extremely sorry if I did not reply to your review, but do put an email address there so that I can do so. I'd like to show my appreciation for your efforts. I hope you enjoy this part of the story, send me some feedback on what you like and dislike here. Thanks.  



	17. Acceptance

**_Getting up, Athrun brushed the dead leaves away from the seat of his pants, giving Kira one last look before bending down, kissing him lightly on the forehead and whispering something into the unconscious boy's ear._**

**_" Goodbye twin."_**

_**" I understand your meaning Yzak." Dearkka said, smiling sadly. And was soon gone from Yzak's view. He was now totally and absolutely alone.**_

**Accpetance**

by: frost2light

_Everything hurt. Each sinew, each fibre of his being hurt. I cannot stay conscious any longer. I want to breathe. God please help me breathe. What is that sound roaring in my ears? Is that the sound of Death coming? I don't want to die. I won't want to die. I don't want to die._

Death was not coming easily for Kira Yamato. His still flailing legs caught on the edge of the table, bumping it, each one getting weaker than the previous accidental kick. His hands were still scrabbling at his neck, trying to get the invisible strength away from his neck so that he could breathe. He was choking, choking on his own tongue that now seemed too large to be contained in his mouth. He had no idea how long he had been without oxygen, his lungs were screaming, his brain was collapsing, from shock or from lack of oxygen or from both it was hard to tell. Kira's bulging eyes were starting to become bloodshot, a sure sign of internal haemorrhaging, his violent struggles breaking his fragile veins.

"It's really no use struggling Kira. Why don't you just accept your fate and leave everything else to me?"

"Let…me…go!" Kira gasped out making the shadow quirk an eyebrow in amusement. Everything that was happening now was just amusement. Pure fun.

"I see this is still not strong enough." He said without malice but rather matter a fact as if he were a scientist trying out his new contraption as his finger flicked once, twice and closed around each other, thumb and forefinger, forming a small loop. He squeezed his fingers gently together and the reaction from it was even more explosive than before.

With renewed energy, Kira struggled, violet eyes almost bulging out of his sockets as he could feel his larynx closing in on his backbone. He could nearly hear the sound of breaking bone and the blood roared even more loudly in his ears. His fingers scratched and reached for his neck, leaving long red blood lines caused by his fingernails, the blood welled up quickly and started leaving a trail.

_I don't want to die. I don't want to die. Nicol. Nicol still needs me. I have to live… I don't want to die._

" Goodbye twin."

Kira stared helplessly at his own fate, he did not want to die, not now…but there was nothing he could do. Nothing. He could feel his own helplessness, his own inability to defend himself, he was useless just like Shadow said. Hope flickered as his own consciousness faded. He could feel a lone tear trickling down his cheek, the only thing that he was able to do right now. Closing his eyes as his oxygen supply slowly ebbed away, his heartbeat slowing, the blood that had rushed up towards his head still roaring but right now sounding as if it was in the distance, he forced his eyes open once more, to face his nightmare, the cold expression on Shadow Kira's face and finally gave up, but in his fading consciousness, he heard a familiar voice shouting and he smiled a little. Until now, he was still thinking about that blonde.

The door to their private universe opened, slowly but surely, as if the person on the other end who had opened was unsure about entering. The creak of the door attracted Shadow Kira's attention and his violet eyes turned towards the offending sound. Nobody could enter, not without his or his pathetic twin's permission, so who dared to intrude? And how did he or she get to this place?

"Seems like there's an insect flying about." Shadow Kira said calmly to himself, his eyes looking at the door but never letting up on Kira who was definitely a few seconds more away from Death.

" What?" Cagalli's first word out of her mouth was exactly that. Her eyes widened as she took in the scenario in front of her. She was definitely hallucinating but before she could care to process about the two identical people in front of her, her eyes had focused on the limp body that was hanging in mid air.

_It was him. The boy in her dreams. _

" What the hell are you doing!" She shouted, her body moving even before her brain processed the stupidity of her act. She was trespassing on unknown waters and she was throwing herself head in into something she didn't know, she would later berate herself on her actions but now was not the time. Her hand stretching out, her eyes only focusing on the unmoving body in front of her as Shadow Kira watched, his eyes narrowing dangerously.

" Stop." He said, his voice soft but filled with the presence of someone who was used to getting his own way.

" Like hell I would." Cagalli said to herself, the determination shining in her keen amber eyes. She continued across the floor towards Kira, but halfway, her body stopped moving on its own accord. "What the hell?" She gasped out in surprise. She nearly lost her balance with the momentum that she had before she was frozen to the ground.

" I told you to stop didn't I? You should have listened. It definitely would have beaten being frozen there." Shadow Kira said with a smirk.

" Let him go." Cagalli shouted at him, as she tried to work her limbs. It was as if there was glue sticking her to the ground. Frustrated, she glared at the offender. " Let me go!"

" Take a pick. It is either him or you. There's no two choices in here."

" Then let him go. You are killing him, you bastard!" Cagalli shouted at him, her worried eyes looking at the limp body in front of her. He had called out to her for help, there was this link connecting the both of them, Meng had been right, she was not alone. He was her family.

" Why should I?"

" You said me or him. I said him. Or are you breaking your word?" She said sarcastically.

"Oh all right. You got me there. Me and my stupid mouth. But, are you willing to take his place? He doesn't seem to be alive anymore. Do you want to embrace your death so eagerly? He wanted to live you know."

" Shut up and let him go."

" As you wish." Shadow Kira loosened his hold on Kira and he dropped onto the floor like a sack of potatoes, unmoving. Her eyes roved worriedly at his prone posture as she prayed silently that he was all right. " You see, you should not have given up your life so easily. He's dead right now you know."

"What do you know!" She snapped at Shadow before turning her attention back towards the fallen boy. "Come on. Please. Come on. Breathe!" Cagalli whispered furiously into the room, hoping that her words could reach the boy's ears.

_Please. Let me had been in time. Please. Breathe. _

_Breathe._

_Breathe!_

Kira heaved and started coughing violently, his figure hunching over into itself as fresh oxygen poured into his lungs, his internal injuries healing by itself in front of the surprised and increasingly irritated Shadow Kira, who glared at the satisfied Cagalli who looked on with a warm feeling blossoming in her chest. She had been in time.

"You. Who are you?" Shadow Kira asked through gritted teeth as he advanced menacingly towards the blonde girl who stared back at him unflinchingly.

"I should be the one to be asking who you are! You tried to kill my family!"

" Your family?" Shadow Kira stopped in his tracks as he processed the newly gotten news. They had family? He and Kira had always been alone. How did this fiery girl come into the equation?

"Yes my family. Now who are you!" Cagalli asked, not succumbing to the figure who was coming towards her with that murderous intent. She was used to getting her way too, she had to act tough even if she was quivering like jell – o inside. She was the Representative of Orb after all.

" I'm Kira's other half. Glad to meet you." Shadow Kira said with a gracious bow, his calm mask firmly back in place, he had lost control just now when his plans were ruined but it was all right. There was yet another human to toy with and he was getting bored either way. Prolonging Kira's death would serve a better purpose anyways. He had all the time to chat. " You said you were his twin why?"

" Kira's other half? What do you mean?"

" Hmm…how do I explain this." He thoughtfully trailed off as his gaze flickered towards Kira."

" Don't you dare try to do what you did just now. You struck a bargain with me." Cagalli snapped, her voice laced with tension. Her temper will be the death of her she knew without a doubt.

" Maa….maa… I was not about to. Scout's honour." Shadow Kira grinned, his lips quirking up and Cagalli had to look away, her cheeks blushing. He was handsome, devilishly so, filled with charisma that it was hard to maintain the anger at him. He was so unlike the shy boy she had met in her dream.

" Stop wasting both of our times, who are you!" She snapped impatiently, trying to cover up for her previous blunder.

" You really need to control your temper…family." He said tauntingly but nevertheless continuing to explain. " You can say that I'm his alternate ego, I guess. Meng sensei created the both of us, him and I. Me, I think he did it unconsciously, him, he definitely had a purpose."

" What purpose?" Cagalli questioned, her interest piqued. Meng had mentioned briefly in her dream about a purpose too.

" He wanted to save the world from a madman, but he chose the wrong person. I should be the one doing that job and not this pathetic excuse for an ultimate coordinator."

" What Coordinator?" Cagalli asked, confused now. She had never heard of that phrase before.

" Mankind's ultimate dream. Patrick Zala's dream. He had started that dream, Meng sensei was his apprentice, his second in command. Both of them had wanted to create a better world, a world where people could live and not succumb to the diseases that are out there right now. We are that consequence of that dream. We are the Ultimate Coordinator."

" We have superior genes, even more so compared to Naturals. We are better than the normal range of Coordinators, we have better reflexes, better immune systems, better brains, better everything. We are of the new race, a race even better than the current one."

" And we means you and Kira?" Cagalli asked.

"Yes. We are one of the same. We are not two different entities, we exist on the same plane, just with different personalities and the reason why I'm here is because of him." Shadow Kira spat out with disgust. "He was afraid of me, afraid of what I would do to his precious image and he locked me here in this personal hell. But now, now, I'm about to regain what I've lost and finally fulfil what Meng sensei had prophesized about my future."

"How can you survive when one part of you dies? If what you say is true then if one dies don't you think you would disappear also? You don't have the memories of Kira and starting all over again from the beginning when you regain this body is downright unthinkable. How would you be able to survive?" Cagalli voiced out her suspicion and when she looked at Shadow Kira's face knew that he was worried about the same thing.

" What do you think I should do then? Let him take my place? I cannot afford for him to do do what I just did. It takes a long time and I won't be stuck in here anymore. That stupid potion Nicol Amalfi gave him to forget allowed him to shut me into this hell. I will never forgive him."

Cagalli ignored his whining, her mind recalling something else that had happened during a dream, a conversation with Meng to be exact. " Meng sensei said that I had powers and another two companions and all three of us have to stop a madman. Maybe that man is Patrick Zala and you are one of my companions. You said the exact same thing as Meng sensei but what are your powers?"

Shadow Kira smiled roguishly and said, his voice deceptively innocent, " You want me to show you what I can do?"

Cagalli's amber eyes narrowed in uncertainty, she had a bad feeling about this and the figure on the ground merely confirmed her suspicions. "You can just demonstrate on anything except Kira." She said, her tongue rolling comfortably over the syllables. Kira. He was her family, her companion. She would die before anything happened to him once again. She had been unable to prevent her father's death and now that she had found somebody else, she would be damned if she were to fail again.

" You are smart, lady." Shadow Kira said, grudgingly. He had to admit that he admired her spirit and her quick thinking, but most of all he admired the way her protective instincts reared up when she thought that he was about to harm Kira. What would it be like to have somebody protect and accept him like that? Shaking his head to dispel that thought, he focused his energy and sent it hurling and a satisfying boom could be heard as the television in front the both of them exploded and its glass sprinkled onto the carpeted floor, embedding itself into it.

" Sugoi!" Cagalli gasped out admiringly, "You can do that? Control matter?"

" Yes." Shadow Kira said with pride, with just a hint of shyness there. He had never been praised, this was the first time and by the girl standing in front of him, her amber eyes gleaming excitedly, he was proud, not defensive of the power that he had. " What about you?"

" Me? Meng sensei said that I was a seer. I predict things and see the future…. if they let me." Cagalli's excitement dimmed and her voice trailed off, slightly bitter when she recalled her previous images, those frightening images of death and destruction, of pain and regret. She had to stop those from happening, she did not want to see Kira's blood. And there was so much of it, dying everything red while the he laid there broken and lifeless, his hand reaching out for someone to save him.

"What have you seen?" Shadow Kira asked softly, curiously concerned, surprisingly Cagalli. It was at that moment when she saw that barest glimpse of the boy she had met in her dreams. They were really one of the same.

"Nothing." Turning away from Shadow Kira, Cagalli said briskly. "What do you intend to do?"

" I intend to shut him up again." A weak voice joined the conversation and both heads whipped into that direction, just in time to see Kira struggling hard to stand.

" I knew I should have not listened to you, woman." Shadow Kira hissed, his violet eyes turning blank, no longer the colour of warm purple they were before. His hands clenched into fists as he gathered the energy he needed to choke Kira once again.

" Stop it both of you!" Cagalli screamed. She had to stop this. This was not the time for them both to fight. Can't they see that they were the same? Shadow Kira had warmth and Kira no matter what he would like to think had the same darkness that Shadow Kira had. This was the proof of it, Kira wanted to kill.

" He should never have existed."

" You should not have been allowed to live so long."

Both of them stood facing each other, expression murderous, an exact mirror image of each other. A dark ball of energy gathered within Shadow Kira's hands and Kira closing his eyes, focused. In his mind's eye, he imagined the same thing Shadow Kira was doing and Cagalli's eyes widened in horror as yet another energy ball started growing in Kira's cusped hands. It was tentative at first but gaining strength. Looking to and fro the both of them, Cagalli's mind screamed for her to do something before everything was too late, before the both of them killed themselves.

" Stop it!" She screamed once again, but nobody listened. They were too caught up in their own dilemma, their own inability to accept of each other. Can't they see what they are doing? Don't they know that their fighting would only cause nothing but regret! Cursing the bonds that the shadow had placed on her, Cagalli glared at the ground as if willing it to just let her go. She had to move. Desperately, she put her mind into her task, focusing on each leg. One step at a time. But damn it, she was running out of precious time.

She. Had. To. Move.

Her breathing grew ragged as her energy was spent on futile struggles. Yet, she refused to give up, would not give up. She did not come here to realise that she was weak, she already knew that as a fact, but, weak or not, she was not about to go down without a fight. She had just met one of companions, somebody she have to protect and she was not going to let herself down.

But, it was so painful. To Cagalli, it was as if she was about to tear her limbs out by forcing it away from the ground. Shadow Kira's will was that strong. He did not want her to interfere but she will. She will and she can. Ignoring the red hot pain lancing through her limbs through sheer will alone, she moved finally one small step. Her features lit up in grim satisfaction as she forced herself to do more. She had to move, she had to prevent this. She had a goal in her life, losing Orb, she will not lose this!

Almost screaming in frustration in the cold tension – filled atmosphere, she looked up when one of them spoke, her amber eyes flickering between the both of them, panic shearing through her entire being. She was not going to make it.

" It's time for use to decide who gets this body, Kira." Shadow Kira spat, his violet eyes blank, in seed mode. "You or me."

" I won't let you hurt Nicol. I won't let you do whatever you want with this body. I won't let you." Kira replied, equally determined, equally murderous. He was now a berserker.

_No! I won't let the both of you do things you will regret._

_Move!_

_Move!_

_I will prevent this!_

" Aaarrrgggghhhhh…" Cagalli screamed, her voice hoarse, as she finally managed to free her legs, the pain agonizing but definitely not registering in her current state of mind. Stumbling from the sheer force of her struggle, she looked up just in time to see the both of them ready to kill the other. Shaking her head violently and knowing that nothing she would say would make any difference, she did the only thing that she knew.

" It's time for you to die."

" It's time for you to disappear."

" Noooo!" Cagalli shouted, running towards the both of them and positioning herself right in the middle as the two Kira's let go of their energy balls. Both of them hit her squarely in the middle, back and front, and the metallic taste of blood came rushing into her mouth and out, splattering the carpet and trickling down her lips, staining her chin red. Her face registered the impact of their fight and the only thought that came into her mind was that she had been in time, that both of them were all right.

"Don't fight…" Cagalli said as she fell, face pale as sheet, her amber eyes closing from the pain. It hurt. Everything hurt. Blame it on her own stupidity to get herself in this kind of mess. The sound of her body meeting the ground shocked both Kira and Shadow back into reality, as both of the violet eyes widened in horror.

"What have you done!" Kira shouted, the first to recover.

"What have you done!" " Shadow retaliated, both of them rushing towards Cagalli's side and meeting right at the middle where her body now lay, twitching still from the black energy, as the parts of her clothing from where the blasts met were smoking slightly. The scent of burnt material floated into the boy's noses and they looked horrified at the girl in front of them.

" Don't fight…don't fight please."

" Save your energy. Please, don't talk." Kira said, almost sobbing. What had he done! What had the both of them done? She was innocent. She was not supposed to be involved in this fight. He was not supposed to kill his own twin, the twin he had been longing to meet. He had been ecstatic when he had known that he had family, but now, it was by his hand that he…and she doesn't even know.

" Don't fight…." Cagalli whispered weakly, before she choked and coughed up more blood.

" Stop it." Shadow commanded, his violet eyes averted, not daring to look. He had not wanted this to happen, all he wanted was to be free, all he wanted was somebody to accept him the way he was. All he wanted was that, was that a crime? Why did death follow him around? Was Kira right in trying to imprison him here? Was his decision wrong? Did he even deserve to live?

" Please promise me. Both of you are the same, one and only. He is you and you are him. Accept each other, I do. Both of you are my family, my companions, both of you….are…important…."

" Hey! Hey!" Shadow Kira shouted, his mask breaking, right now, he was Kira, both of them wearing the same shocked expression, the same horrified, guilty look. Cagalli smiled as she raised both of her hands and touched both of their faces. " Accept each other. You will be all right."

And she closed her eyes, hands flopping down lifelessly to her side while the two Kira's blended and combined forming only one. Soundlessly, Kira looked at Cagalli as the tears glimmered unshed in his eyes. He had only needed that acceptance, but at what price? At what price only did both of them come to understand that they were one of the same? At what price!

" Thank you." He whispered, laying a soft kiss on Cagalli's forehead as her image slowly vanished, going back to where she had come from in the first place. For some strange reason, Kira knew that Cagalli was not dead and that they would meet once again. She was one of the three companions. He was one, Nicol was the other and now, all they had to do was to wait for this blonde girl's arrival. He would tell her that they were related when they met next, she will never be alone anymore. She had been willing to sacrifice her life for a person she did not know, but now at her disappearing profile, Kira swore that he will do the same for her to. Not because she had saved himself from him, she was his family.

" And you had not even told me your name." He said towards the last lingering sparkles of her as he too allowed this alternate dimension of his own heart to disappear, to go back to the reality. It was time he started doing what he was supposed to do. Shadow Kira and Kira Yamato were now one, as they should be. It was for the battle that was about to come and Kira now knew how to use his powers.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Cagalli groaned, her eyelashes fluttering, as she regained consciousness. Slowly, her fingers moved, one by one and her hand started to lift towards her head as if trying to press away the pounding headache that accompanied her waking. Faintly, the roar in her ears subsided and she could hear her name being called out by a familiar woman's voice. It was like déjà vu, a part of her subconscious commented. Something like this had happened before and it was not too long ago.

Moaning, Cagalli tried moving but everything hurt too much and she settled on just opening her eyes and blinked once, twice to focus. There was light, where was it coming from? Cagalli wondered and she shivered. Something warm covered her and she snuggled desperately into it in order to gain warmth.

" Where am I?" Cagalli asked, disorientated.

" You are in my apartment. What happened? Did somebody attack you? There was so much blood, so much of it. But, you had no wound, what happened?" Hinata Yui could not stop the questions from pouring out of her mouth, she had been so worried and now she could not stop babbling. Cagalli lips quirked up in a small smile understanding Hinata's position, she did not mind, she will explain it to her soon, when she was ready. Right now, she just wanted to sleep, she was tired, so tired. And the darkness was already luring her back to its comfortable darkness.

" Cagalli? Cagalli – sama?" Hinata Yui called out desperately, Cagalli's eyes were closing again and she feared a relapse. The blood was too terrifying to behold. Cagalli's eyelashes started fluttering and Hinata called more fervently for her to wake.

" Hinata?" Cagalli's weak voice was like music to Hinata's ears. " Don't worry…I just want to sleep…I'm tired…I will wake up…just not…now…I'll explain…to you…later….and I met my…family…."

" Cagalli – sama!" Hinata tried one last time but Cagalli's eyes were firmly closed. The only comfort Hinata got was that Cagalli's chest was rising and falling normally and that she was no longer as pale as she had been when Hinata had first found her and there were no wounds, no more blood.

Sighing, Hinata looked out the window into the rising sun. It was already morning. The whole eventful night was now coming to a close, leaving more questions and too few answers. Everything she had known from the beginning was now becoming fuzzy and blur.

" Family huh? Was it just Cagalli's hallucinating mind? Or was it real?" Hinata pondered out loud in a whisper as she tucked Cagalli's blanket more snugly around her. Hinata's obsidian orbs stared down at her princess and wondered not for the first time what kind of dreams that she had. There was too much sorrow and too little happiness in Cagalli's life. Not wanting to leave Cagalli alone anymore, Hinata pulled the chair from the dressing table and sat herself on it, she would keep watch until Cagalli woke up. She will not leave her alone again.

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Nicol Amalfi smelt blood. He frowned wondering whether it was merely his own imagination but he decided to follow his instincts. His smooth forehead creasing forming frowns that made him look much older than his years, Nicol trudged through the forest. He had not seen Athrun Zala and his gut instinct told him that Athrun could not have gotten far with Kira as dead weight. He would leave through the forest and find a secluded place to finish up the job.

_The job._

Nicol shivered at the last two words. He would never forgive himself if he ever found Kira dead. If he was, there was no point no living himself. He was the one who had dragged Kira into this mess. Kira was too kind, too warm hearted to be dragged into this. He was the guilty one. If Kira was dead, he had nothing to go back to, nothing to welcome him home. Kira had been his only family, his only one thing that connected him to society. He was as lost as Kira is. He would be alone once more and that was unthinkable. He would be able to live, but there will always be that emptiness in him that nothing else could fill. Meng sensei was gone, there was nobody left.

_Please be all right. Please._

Nicol pushed away branches and waist high plants that scratched and pulled at his clothes. Getting more and more agitated as his own brain turned against him, he could feel his terror and helplessness overwhelm him. He tripped over something when his vision blurred and landed on his hands and knees. He ignored the pain where some of the branches had scored and he turned back to look at what had tripped him. His hazel brown eyes widened in horror as the offending thing that had tripped him looked extremely familiar. It was a sneaker, a very familiar looking sneaker.

" Kira!" He exclaimed, as he crawled towards the sneaker, all the while pushing away the greenery that blocked the way. He finally found the unconscious Kira propped up against a tree, muddied and bloodstained but still alive. Urgently, he checked Kira, his hands ready to perform any healing that Kira needed, his shoulders still slumped but much lighter than before, a burden lifted, before Kira's voice stopped him.

" Hey."

" Kira? Thank goodness! Don't you dare do this to me again!" Nicol shouted at him, his hands itching to punch the brown haired boy in front of him, but his voice could not mask the relief.

Kira smiled weakly at Nicol, understanding his fury. "Gomenasai Nicol, I should not have gone off alone. But, I found our third companion. She saved me you know. She's coming. All we have to do right now is wait. She'll be here soon…"

" What? Kira? Kira!" Nicol shouted, his eyes worried at the sudden revelation. What did Kira mean? What the hell had happened? Where was Athrun? Why was there so much blood and no wound? What the hell was going on?

" I'm all right…I'm just exhausted…just let me sleep for awhile…I'll explain to you later…not now…she will be coming..she will be coming…my twin…" Kira mumbled sleepily as his violet eyes closed and he went to sleep, leaving Nicol staring at him confused.

" What the hell?"

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

" Athrun? Is that you?" Miriallia Haw asked sleepily. She had been awakened when the door opened and when Athrun appeared in front of her, her eyes widened in horror and surprise. "What happened?" She asked, all sleepiness evaporating, as she scrambled up and away from the bed and towards the bloodstained teenager in front of her. Athrun merely looked at her and shook his head. There was nothing he wanted to say to her, the thoughts of the brown haired boy from yesterday crowding his mind, but he had no time to think or to reminisce about him, he had more important things to do.

"Get changed, we'll be moving out soon."

"What do you mean? Why? Have you done something wrong?"

"Do you normally ask that many questions or don't you understand what I had just asked you to do?" Athrun said coldly. He had neither the time nor energy to waste on a twiddling brunette, he did not want her to come along with him but he needed her as bait, as a pawn for the other two teenagers. When he was done with her, he would kill her, Dearkka Elsman and Yzak Joule needed no baggage and this girl was nothing but a burden. He had wanted her to fall in love with him but right now, he had done nothing and already she was half in love with him. Women.

"I'm sorry." Miri said, looking away and doing what Athrun asked. His tone reminded her of the reason why she had ran away from Section 5, away from the comfort of the two boys she had come to know and cherish. It was the sound of somebody thinking that she was burden to them. She wanted to improve, if somebody could just tell her how to. She would do anything. She wanted to prove that she was not as useless as they think she was, but…

"I'm sorry." Athrun's voice softened. He had no reason to take out his own frustrations on this girl. They would be together a lot and he would be much better off if he did not get her defensive or too depressed. Miri forced a smile on her face and faced him accepting his apology. She would not bother him with her own problems. They were hers and hers alone.

"I'll change. It'll just take a minute."

"I'll be waiting outside in the lobby, I'll settle the bill first."

"All right, I'll meet you outside."

Athrun walked out and away from the room, he passed the picture of the lone sakura tree on the wall once again and not bothering to give it a second glance he walked away and on to his next step on the chess board. To find the two boys who was already here. He knew.

* * *

Author's note: This has been a long time ne? Annoying of a writer I understand and I apologize profusely. I cannot guarantee that I will be able to update more frequently as there are still many things that are laying about that have yet to be done but I have not forgotten about this responsibility. Thank you for reviewing and I appreciate each and every one of them. Kira and Shadow Kira has reconcilled, Cagalli is coming and Athrun is on the move. Would Athrun find Yzak and Dearkka or would Kira and company find him before everything is in place? Patrick Zala has something up his sleeve and Lacus Clyne has not yet given up hope. There will be more sacrifices in the future and more characters to come. 


	18. Boy Meets Girl

**Boy Meets Girl**

By: frost2light

Miriallia Haw watched the closed door, her eyes brimming with the unshed tears she had recently grown accustomed to. Tears. It made people weak, it was weakness, and even knowing that, the tears refused to recede back into where they came from. Brushing her hand impatiently, roughly, across her brown eyes that in the past used to sparkle with laughter and mischief, she wondered whether she should follow this enigmatic teenager to where he wanted to go. He was dangerous she knew, something deep down in her even told her that he was merely using her. Yet, even if her sub – conscious knew what she was walking right into a trap, her heart rejoiced that even she had the value to be used.

_Miri, you are a whore. A worthless whore._

Stripping off the clothes on her back, she walked into the bathroom and washed up. Maybe, just maybe, being under the shower, where the water was cold enough to shock her out of her current depression and hopefully help her grow a spine. Turning on full blast, the gust of cold water did indeed wake her up. She now knew without a doubt that her infatuation with that emerald stranger was no more than what it is. It was born out of gratitude when she had needed someone to take her under their wing, he had allowed her to tag along when she needed it the most, and so she had mistook the gratitude with love. However, she did not have the guts to do so. And so….

…she will have to follow him.

…she will forever be in somebody's shadow

…she will forever be a useless whore.

Miri allowed the water to wash away her tears, to wash away whatever traces of emotions she still had. If Athrun Zala needed a weapon, she would be it. If Athrun Zala needed somebody to bed, she would be it. If Athrun Zala needed her to sleep with other men to achieve whatever that he needed, she would do it without thinking. If she would be only of use, she would do whatever she was capable of in order to still be in use. Miri of the past has disappeared, Miri of the present and future was somebody who had nothing, no self, no worth, and no future. She was a tool nothing more nothing less. She was dispensable.

_What the hell are you thinking?! Have you given up your dreams you stupid woman?!_

_Have you forgotten what it was to be happy?!_

_Do you really think that you are not supposed to be happy?! What happened to you?!_

Miriallia bit down on her lip hard as the water continued to pour down on her. Part of her was so tired of fighting, that part of her merely wanted to survive, and if surviving meant giving up one's pride, well, it would be worth the price, right? But, God damn it, it was so hard to do something like that. How could she forget what she had been? Could she give up so easily what she had fought so hard to retain?! She have not even started creating her own story, how could she bear to live in the future? She would never forgive herself for not trying.

Smacking her palm on the white tiles, Miri opened her eyes and glared at the hand. She had been running away from Dearkka Elsman and Yzak Joule because they denied her existence, she was nothing to them, so she had set out on a journey to find out whether she was somebody who had value. She cannot do this, she will never forgive herself. Never. Miri's hands clenched into fists, she was not about to give up so easily, Nana had once told her, everybody had worth. Every living being deserved to live their life, every one of us was important. She would tell Nana all about her adventures when she went back, she would not be somebody she would hate.

Stepping out the shower with a new resolve, Miri grabbed the towel she had used yesterday and wiped herself dry. She had been waiting for a chance to improve herself, now was her chance. Elizabeth's bed and breakfast was small, but she had not seen anybody except Lizzie around the place. She had mentioned a husband, but even the both of them could need another helping hand. She would ask if she could stay on, if she could be that helping hand, and maybe, maybe learn how to hold a camera. Miri's mind went back to those photographs on the wall. They had been so beautiful. Simple but clear, enough so to touch a person's heart. She wanted to do that. She wanted to touch other people's hearts.

Dressing up in her clothes, she looked around the room which had been where she had stayed for the night. Her lips curled up when she remembered how she had salivated at the appearance of Athrun. He was certainly a man who ladies would pay for the night. She had been the same has she not? Miri could imagine the disdain that Athrun held for all those women. And for her… She shook her head to clear away those unnecessary thoughts, she had to think about what she had to say to Athrun. Letting her go would be a problem to his plans, a hunch told Miriallia. But, this was for her, she had been too generous in the past. Now that she was free, she had the right to be selfish. It was time enough for her to be that way.

Closing the door quietly behind her, but not forgetting to retrieve the key, Miri walked slowly towards the lobby where Athrun was chatting with Elizabeth. Her footsteps nearly faltered when she saw him, her heart wanting to do the direct opposite of what her brain had decided minutes ago.

_Stupid woman. Try taming a wild panther. It would be easier than taming him._

Cursing herself silently, she pushed that distracting thought away from her and out the window. Athrun noticed her entrance and turned smiling, but Miri's keen eyes noticed that his smile never touched his emerald green eyes and that feeling of being scrutinised under a microscope scared her. Miri gave him a fleeting smile and Athrun's eyes narrowed when he noticed the distanced look that Miri gave him before looking away.

_Something is wrong. Had Nicol Amalfi gotten to her? No, it could not be. There was no way that boy had been allowed to get near Miri. I would have noticed…_

"Miri?" He called out softly to the girl, taking in her expression, the nervous fingers that kept fiddling with the hem of her shirt. All of these were nervous gestures and he did not like it.

"Athrun, may I talk to you for awhile? There is something I need to ask of you." Miri's voice came out slightly high pitched and screechy. She cleared her throat embarrassed and repeated her question.

Athrun kept his face impassive and nodded once to assure acknowledge Miri's request before turning back to the inquisitive Elizabeth, "I'm sorry Elizabeth. But is everything here done?"

"Yes Athrun. Have a safe trip back. Hope you would come here again for your next holiday." Lizzie understood Athrun's subtle hint for privacy and redrew, she threw a smile towards Miri who tried hard to make her lips curve up for the sake of manners but what came out looked even uglier than tears. Lizzie looked at her puzzled but nevertheless categorized it as a small quarrel between couples. She had enough of those during her younger days and would guarantee that the both of them would be all right after awhile.

Athrun gathered up the things that were on the counter, putting it neatly into the small bag that he had been carrying along with the envelope containing the documents about Kira Yamato. He had yet the time to get rid of those incriminating papers. He had to get rid of it soon and fast, it was not like him to have kept it for so long. It would be a fatal mistake that would get himself behind bars. Checking for the last time that he had everything with him, he turned to face Miri would still would not look at him. She was sweating and her eyes kept flicking this way and that, she reminded him of his prey when they knew that he was coming for them and he wondered what it was that was so hard to tell him.

"Yes Miri?" He asked, his tone still gentle, still soft, the impatience expertly masked behind those walls that kept everyone out. He had years of practice and he was thankful for it. His many masks had been his saviour many times before.

"I…I…I won't be following you. Thank you for being willing to get me here to Orb. I will pay you back for the lodging fees, the shuttle ticket price, everything. But I will not follow you. I cannot follow you, I'm sorry." Miri said all that in a rush, and her brown eyes looked up pleadingly at him, her fingers finally stopped their motions and laid still, all her energy used in trying to convince him about her decision. Athrun could not help the surprise that came after her announcement, his suspicions about her coming in contact with others increasing his paranoia that his last job had been found out.

"Oh..and why is that? What made you come to this decision?" Keeping his cool, he had to figure out the real reason before planning his next move. He had survived long on his calmness and he was not about to show anything to this girl because things were not going with his plan.

"I have my own reasons." Miri made the fatal mistake by refusing to divulge her reasons. Athrun's emerald green eyes flashed and his hands itched to reach for his knife. He would get Miri away by force if need be, but, right now it was not possible, Elizabeth was lurking around somewhere and he needed the cover and time to get away. Nicol would be coming back with Kira soon, he had not left the younger boy very far from the main house and Yvette Carpenter might show up. Many things that could wrong ran through his brain but Athrun refused to be ruffled. He had to do this and he would.

"Miri, if it was my fault I apologize, you do realize that I meant you no harm, and you are not a burden to me. I understand what you had been through before, you were escaping weren't you. You think that by going away from the pot you would be jumping right into the fire with me, but, you really have your own freedom. I don't mind you not following me, we have our own destinies, but I did really enjoy your company and would have hoped that you could come with me." Athrun said the last part shyly, his eyes never once leaving Miri's face, watching like a snake waiting for its prey to weaken or lessen its guard before going in for the kill.

"Really?" Miri's face held some hope, but she quickly looked away from Athrun's burning gaze. She wanted the last part to be true and a part of her was glad that Athrun had been able to understand her predicament, he had not known her for long yet he was able to read her innermost thoughts. Her stand wavered, she wanted to follow this teenager, his charm combined with that beauty was deadly for a woman, but she could not ignore that niggling sense of doubt and that small uneasiness that had been born from this morning's encounter. He had changed out of his bloodstained clothes but he where had he gotten them? Miri had spent too long on the streets to trust someone so easily.

"Thank you for the offer Athrun but, I'm sorry. There are certain things that I have to do. Maybe, maybe when everything is settled and done we could get together again. But, right now, I think I will stay. Thank you for your offer. I really appreciate it, it is a good boost for my current morale." Miri attempted to smile.

"I see. I guess it cannot be helped then. It is indeed a lost to me, but I will respect your wishes. I will not be going away from Orb for quite awhile, maybe we could stay in touch till then? You will be here won't you? Helping out Elizabeth and her husband?"

"How did you know? Well…I had thought of that possibility, but I'm not too sure whether they need the help. But, if they do, then I will be here. I like this place, it is peaceful and I will be able to learn the things that I had not the chance to do so before. Maybe…I could even do…" Miri's eyes looked longingly at the pictures adorning the lobby and Athrun followed her eyes, his lips curling up gently.

"I know that you would be able to do whatever you want. So be it Miriallia Haw, it was a pleasure to meet you. Now, come let us go settle you position here in Elizabeth's Bed and Breakfast. I would need to know that you would be able to stay."

"No..you don't need to do that." But Athrun had already walked towards where he thought that Lizzie would be. With his back turned, his emotionless mask was back on his face. Listening to the noises that directed him towards where Lizzie was he walked purposefully while Miri followed behind like a good dog. He was not doing this because of the goodness of his heart, he had allowed Miri to stay here because it would be indeed be easier to start tracking the other two teenagers without her following and since she would be in a constant place, it would be easier to monitor her progress and pull her when he needed her. Things were more complicated when there were more people exposed to what he was about to do.

"Lizzie?" He knocked the door of the room that she was in before calling her name to distract her from her current responsibility.

Looking up surprised when she had expected no one, least the handsome teenager, she smiled widely before responding, "Athrun? I thought you had left."

"Well…actually…I have a favour to ask."

"Well, tell me about it, if there's anything I could do to help, I would be glad to." Lizzie was a woman too and when Athrun wanted to be charming, his looks played an important part in getting what he wanted. It was unscrupulous, and he did not like it, but it was a weapon and he would use it as long as it was useful.

"Well..you see…"

"I need a job. I'd gladly do anything, I need to pay Athrun back his money, so I need something to do. I don't need much, just lodgings and an occasional lunch or dinner. I don't mind. I don't have much work experience on me nor do I know how to read, but I'm not helpless, I will work hard and be as much help as I can to you. You won't regret this. I promise!" Miri blurted out, her hands flew up to her mouth as she glanced uncertainly at Athrun's side profile, she had not meant to do that, but she needed to do something, she had to do something. It was as if her first step to freedom.

"Mirallia?" Lizzie was equally floored by the request. She had not expected this, but having an extra helping hand was indeed favourable, especially when her husband had recently gotten ill with the flu. She looked shrewdly towards Miri who tried her best to look presentable, before laughing, breaking the tension that was sharp enough to cut through steel.

"You certainly shocked me on that one…." She said after she stopped her laughter, " Why the sudden request Miri? Did Athrun here bully you and you are running to me for shelter?"

Miri flustered, blushed, eliciting even more hearty laughter from the woman. "No…no…not at all, I was the one who was the burden, who had imposed on Athrun and he was kind enough to have taken care of me the last day…so its not his fault, everything…"

Lizzie held up a hand, her eyes sparkling with the youth that belied her age, mischief written all over her face, Miri had a distinct impression that she had found yet another Nana, and the homesickness that she had held at bay nearly overwhelmed her. The sudden loneliness compelled her to pray hard inwardly, she missed Nana, she missed the old days, she missed her life, she missed everything. And right now, she wished without second doubt that she would be able to stay here, here where she would be able to get what she had missed all her life.

"I would be glad to accommodate Miri. However, I have to say that I'm a slave driver, I do not tolerate lateness, tardiness, laziness and most of all I have a mission to accomplish." Lizzie counted the conditions off her fingers.

"What mission? I promise I will work hard and do whatever chores you would ask me to. I can sweep, I can dust, I can learn the things that I currently cannot. I promise that you would not be disappointed!"

Lizzie's eyes softened at the earnest young girl in front of her, if her daughter Melanie had not died, she would have been the same age as this brunette, Lizzie could imagine the images overlapping over each other, Melanie smiling at her, Melanie laughing, Melanie doing things that her mama asked her to do just to make her mama happy. Lizzie knew that Melanie was gone, no longer here, but as a mother, she would forever search for that small resemblances that reminds her of her daughter, of her precious little baby who should have lived. It was not appropriate for a "white haired lady to send a black haired young child". It had not been her time.

A silence ensued before it was broken by Miri's uncertain words, quivering at the last note, "So…may I stay..please?"

"Yes Miriallia, you can stay."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Dearkka Elsman wandered down the roads aimlessly, ignoring the weird looks others were giving him. The blood had dried in his hair, matting his hair together in rusty red clumps. He knew it did not go well with the yellowness, but he could not have cared less. He had fought with numerous people since he had left Yzak Joule, he had been the ones to pick the fights, and he had enjoyed the physical release. The throbbing in his head reminded him of his stupidity, at his hopeless way of trying to drown the other more noticeable pain that resided in his heart, but, everybody had a way to vent and this was his.

Pausing for a moment, he stopped and smiled to himself, bringing even more curious and half horrified glances from the passer bys. Initially, he had wanted to sit and lie down, to curl up and sleep away whatever emotions he was having but his body was too restless, and so he had continued on walking till now. He was still as wired as before, ridiculously heady, drunk on something he had no idea what. He was tempted to start dancing and singing right where he was standing but his irrationality was halted, because at that moment, the sky which had been cloudy before, started raining. The rain drops cooling his head somewhat but when he could think rationally, all he could think was Yzak's cold face telling him what he need not had asked.

"What have you done to me?" Dearkka whispered, his voice sad as he watched the people run for cover under this heavy downpour. The blood that had coagulated in his hair, trickled along with the water, along the sharp panes of his face and onto the wet ground. The slight pink colour and the sting where the wounds were only made Dearkka smile. He squatted down beside those puddles and tried to look into them, wondering what he would see. However, no matter how he tried, all he could see was distorted figures and blackness. It was befitting of his current situation and the absurdity of it was the final straw. The tears he controlled when he walked away, the tears he had refused to cry since a long time ago, ran down his face. Dearkka was thankful that the rain was able to mask his pain, his shame.

"You hated my weakness didn't you? That is why you did not want me close? I still was not worthy was I?" He muttered to the puddle of water.

"No."

The sudden answer to his question surprised Dearkka and a wild burst of irrational hope shot through his distressed state. He hated this self, he resembled a helpless woman. But, there was no denying that hope.

"Huh?" He managed a strangled answer, his head whipping up immediately, his violet eyes bright, hope kindling that light. However, his disappointment came crashing down on him when his eyes met with a pair of warm brown instead of icy blue.

"I said no. And you should not be out in this weather. You'll catch a cold." The woman standing in front of him held a pink umbrella and was in her early twenties. Her wavy brown hair was tied neatly at the nape of her neck and she was wearing non descript clothes. All in all, she looked like a normal lady with a normal life and was nothing extraordinary. And she was not somebody he had wanted to see. She was not Yzak. Dearkka turned away at once, ashamed of his outburst and stood up huffily. He was about to walk away when the lady caught him by his arm.

"Let go." He snarled, a wounded animal who just wanted to escape and lick his wounds.

"You are dripping wet and you will catch a cold if you stayed out any longer. You are hurt too."

"It's none of your business."

"So it is, so sue me." She replied lightly, all the while steering him towards a small café by the sidewalk. The warm air blasted Dearkka in the face as soon as the woman opened the door to a tinkle of bells. She walked into the heat leaving a disorientated Dearkka in her wake. The warm air made Dearkka shiver, he had not known that he was that cold, but once exposed to the warmness, he no longer was willing to walk out into that icy cold rain. Dearkka looked around him warily, not wanting to be stared at but was personally surprised and comforted that the shop that he was in was quite empty.

"Here." The woman's voice was the only warning before something soft and fluffy smacked him in the face. Wincing, Dearkka grabbed at the towel and glared at the woman's turned back, the thrown towel was thick and yet, further comforted Dearkka. His heart which had been strung up high since his departure from Yzak started to come back down. Not wanting to think about the whole incident, and especially Yzak, he started to take inventory of the place he was in. The cream coloured walls, the plants that hung from the ceiling, the round tables, the vases containing a single red rose and of course, the woman.

She still had her back turned towards him and she was humming a tune from somewhere, her voice lilting, soothing. She busied herself with the pots and pans that hung from the small space that was clean and equally decorated as the outer part. Curious, Dearkka edged closer and the woman turned around with a wide smile on her face.

"My name's Murrue Ramius, are you hungry? Pasta's my speciality."

Dearkka looked at her puzzled, his expression not lost on Murrue. Her smile toned down a bit and was still there but when she spoke, her voice was comforting. "You are a runaway aren't you?"

Shocked, Dearkka glared at her before turning away, his violet eyes hooded. With his fists clenched at his sides and his shoulders stooped, he looked like a lost kid, a hurt lost child to the older woman. "What do you know?" He muttered.

"You are right, I don't anything about you. But what I know is reality. Do you need a job?" She was a straightforward woman, not turning in circles and her mannerisms somehow made Dearkka feel better. He did not have the energy to play emotional mind games with a person he did not know. Yzak had been too complicated to understand and whatever energy Dearkka had in the past was depleted. He was tired.

"If you need a job, I need a handyman around here. I open a restaurant that has quite brisk business in the evenings and I need an extra helping hand that is capable. Too many plates have been smashed by stupidity and carelessness. I will provide you with living quarters and food, your wages will be paid to you every week. You will stay here in this restaurant, there is a furnished room at the back and it needs just minimum care that I pretty sure even a sloppy boy like you can take care of easily."

"Why are you doing this?" Dearkka asked, suspicious about this woman's intentions. Nobody helped a wounded young man with no past, no money and no future. There were kind souls but this woman was inviting danger with her kindness. How would she know that he would not rape her in the middle of the day? How would she know that he would not steal from the till? Why did she trust him when Yzak who had known him for quite some time still did not?

"You think I trust you? You are wrong. I do not trust people easily, but what I do is give them chances to prove themselves worthy. If you think you can steal or take without asking anything that is of value to me, you are darn right wrong. I have a black belt in Taekwondo and definitely will not lose to some street punk like you. So, do we have a deal?"

"You don't even know my name." Dearkka commented wryly. Nothing mattered to this woman except the present and what she discovers. Her optimism was touching but Dearkka did not know whether to laugh at her stupidity or cry because there was someone who still cared about a homeless street child. The darkness that loomed within Dearkka's heart was contained for the time being, it still hurt badly, but with something to do, a goal to have, made life easier. Dearkka did need a place to stay and food, money to use, in order to search for Miriallia.

"You will tell me in due course." Murrue said, smiling. She had no idea why she decided to help this blonde teenager, nor was she even sure it was a right decision. But, the smile that he had given her just now, it was filled with gratitude and hope. Murre had had a hard life before and she understood what it meant being alone and how much it meant when somebody lent you a helping hand. However, that did not explain the reason why she was compelled to help him. Maybe it was the blonde hair or that attitude which reminded her of a certain young man who came and left in the past. A young man who she had fallen in love with and shared her dreams of starting a restaurant.

_Mwu La Flaga, I miss you. You have gone and you promised to come back. But, will you?_

"Murrue Ramius, my name is Dearkka Elsman and you have a deal."

_Yes, they have the same cockiness and confidence. Maybe, I would find the answer, the reason why you left from this child._

"Right then, your first job is to clean the dining space. It has been quite a while since the last help did that."

"Ehhh?!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Nicol Amalfi pushed open the door to the rented room, this was the second time since being here that Kira Yamato was out of commission- the first during the meet with Yvette Carpenter. The blood on Kira's clothes had already dried by that time, creating deep dark patches around the neckline and drops like comets on his pants. Sneaking past Elizabeth had been a hard task and he had succeeded nearly without the cover of the night, however, by avoiding Elizabeth, he had bumped into a girl. Her wide eyed surprise at the gruesome scene Nicol had on his back was hopefully forgotten by now. He had been quite thankful when the girl had not screamed.

"Kira, you have the benefit of being asleep. If you were awake right now, I'd punch you unconscious." Nicol grumbled. Nicol stumbled the last few steps towards the bed and unloaded Kira roughly onto the soft bed. He gave a relieved groan when the weight was off his back, Kira was not heavy, yet, by trudging back through the woods and up stairs, without being seen, was cumbersome and extremely tiring. Nicol glared at the still slumbering Kira who had not even fluttered an eyelash when he was thrown unceremoniously onto the bed.

"You idiot! What in the world prompted you to go to Yvette's house? Was Athrun really worth it?"

"Athrun?" A female voice spoke from the doorway surprising Nicol who whipped his head so fast he felt his world spin. He glared at the intruder, his foul mood not improved by this intrusion and his aching body.

"Who are you and what are you doing here?" He snapped, making the girl cringe. Yet, instead of apologizing she glared back at him, holding up the cloth and a basin of water for his inspection. Nicol felt his cheeks flame up and he muttered an insincere apology to the girl before thanking her.

"Do you know Athrun?" She said a few minutes later.

"Why are you still here?" Nicol could not believe the audacity of this girl.

"He came back all bloodied too." This last statement was whispered but Nicol's sharp ears caught the words. His hands stilled and a thousand thoughts ran through his brain. Athrun had been staying here, with this girl. What was this girl to Athrun and did this girl know anything about that teen? He squeezed the cloth dry, the water in the small basin already bloodied as he continued to wipe at Kira's neck, the place where the wound had supposed to be.

"You know Athrun?" Nicol asked.

"He got me this job."

"Who are you?"

"Miriallia Haww."

"Have you come to finish up the job?"

"What job?"

"Don't lie." Something snapped in Nicol and he turned like a predator onto a prey to spit out the two words, his eyes narrowed as he stared at the Miri, his expression ferocious. There was a limitation to his patience, he had been a gentle person once, shy, soft spoken, but the past had been a harsh teacher. He would use his gentleness on those who he thinks necessary, because there are times where this trait was taken as a weakness, as a liability. Those days were over. Nicol did feel bad when he shouted at the girl who said her name was Miriallia, but his nerves were shot, and especially where Athrun was concerned, he had no patience for small talk.

"I have no idea what you are talking about. Maybe you would like to explain to the police why your friend came back with blood all over him, I would gladly call them" Brown eyes flashing, the girl snapped back. Nicol watched her with upraised eyebrows, never did he think that she would come back biting and a speck of amusement started growing in him. He was irritated with her, with her defence, but he could not stay angry.

"Are you threatening me?"

"You started it."

"Has anybody told you that girls who are not docile will never marry?"

"So what? I don't plan to."

Silence ensued after the small heated debate with Kira's rhythmic breathing in the background breaking the stillness of the atmosphere. He gave a muted grunt in his sleep before flipping over to his side, leaving Nicol and Miri to his back. Nicol could not believe that even in his sleep, Kira was not willing to help him. Nicol snorted before his lips curled up into a smile, the first in quite some time. Everything had happened so fast and so soon, that he felt all that had happened was only in his dreams, a nightmare at most. But, the girl's presence, the blood tinged water, the blood on Kira's clothes reminded him that not everything was all right. That, what he feared most had already begun.

"I'm sorry. Things have been happening too fast. My friend, our lives, things will never be the same again." Nicol relented, his fingers itched to fly over keys that were either black or white, to pound on his faithful friend the tunes that would soothe his troubled mind, but his piano was too far away and he no longer had the privilege to play something pure.

"Were you a pianist before?" Miriallia asked, while walking close to the green haired boy who stared at his hands so forlornly.

"No. Never was."

"You have an aura of music with you." Miri said, her voice soft.

"Is there something like that?"

"There is. People are surrounded with auras that the naked eye cannot see but felt with the heart. I'm not scared of you because you present no harm."

Nicol chuckled, relaxing. His eyes which were hard and filled with suspicion and anger a moment before had softened. The walls were still there but they had receded back into the background, Miri found that she wanted to get to know this person more, both of them might have stories to tell each other. "You are a trusting person and this trust will get you into trouble you know. Don't judge a book by its cover, you might regret it."

"Is that what happened to you?" Miri asked back gently. Somehow she knew the answer and did not expect anything.

Nicol did not answer and smiled instead, the sun had already risen up, sending pale light through the windows that was blocked by the curtains that hung in the bedroom. Kira had said something about a girl joining them and that she would come, a cryptic message from what he had seen in his dream which meant that there would be some time spent here waiting. Nicol was not certain about believing that message but Kira had been so sure, so happy at that time, he had no choice but to believe and trust.

"Miriallia, why are you here?"

"I have no parents, no family, I came to find myself…"

"I see. So we are one of the kind."

"You are an orphan too?"

"You could say that, we have something to do but we will be here for a few days."

"Would you like me tell Lizzie?"

"Thanks. But its all right, I will confirm that with her."

It was all polite talk, the intimacy from before had gone, Nicol and Miri had erected walls once again around each other. Both of them felt uncomfortable, especially Miri, she had no idea what came over her that prompted her to be so straightforward. Her nerves were raw, this was her first day of being on her own and she felt heady and light. Her eyes roamed towards the teenager in front of her, his mud green hair, his brown eyes, the tiredness on his face, his slim build. If Athrun Zala had been a panther, this was a golden leopard, both of them belonging to the same species but one of the night and the other of the day. She had been enthralled by Athrun's mystery and beauty, but with Nicol, it was different. She wanted to get to know him, and most importantly, she felt that he was real.

"Athrun had left, but he would be coming back. You might be able to talk to him then."

"Oh, we will talk all right." Nicol said grimly, the walls back in full force. He shifted slightly on the bed where he was sitting and reached out to pull the blanket from the bottom of the mattress, flicking it out to cover the unmoving form of the brown haired boy.

"We will definitely talk."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

The bells tinkled merrily when Yzak Joule walked into the smoke filled bar. Men stopped their conversations with smirks when they saw who it was who walked in. They nudged each other and pointed, some subtly some not. Yzak ignored all those men and walked straight towards the bar. He slid into one of the seats and ordered his drink to a sceptical bartender.

"You sure you is right of age son?" The bartender asked in broken sentence, eyebrows raised sky high.

"You have a problem with that?" Yzak shot back, his mood not improved since Dearkka's departure.

"Nope." Shrugging, the bartender turned back towards his job and started mixing what Yzak wanted. He was not about to warn this cocky young boy that the men in this room was not welcoming to strangers, especially strangers who were arrogant and rude. The bartender wondered how long till Bill, sitting at the end of the corner with his drinking buddies, or Kyle on the right hand side of the bar, would come up and face with this young teenager with silver hair. Both of them had been eyeing this boy since he came in and their sadistic methods with people they did not like were not one for bed time stories.

Yzak tapped his fingers impatiently on the dirty bar top. He had no intention of coming in this dump in the first place, but he had been too restless to stay in one place for too long. He just wanted to travel and walk till he found a place where he could belong, a feeling that had been increasing steadily since Dearkka's departure. He did not want nor care to explain this and so he had tried to overcome it by running himself haggard.

"Hey boy, aren't you supposed to be home with your mother?" A loud grating voice scratched Yzak's sensitive ears and his fingers tapped to a faster rhythm, not even caring to turn around to face the man who spoke.

"Hey silver hair faggot, we are talking to you." The sentence was accentuated with a rough push and shove, accompanied by crowing laughter by the crowd. Yzak, losing his balance, nearly found himself face down on the dirty table. His hands splayed wide to catch his balance, his chest bumping hard onto the table top. Yzak allowed his silver hair to fall in order to cover his face, he was not in the mood to fight but his hands itched to return the favour to the one who had the honours of trying to irk him.

"Hey, he's really easy to bully. And I thought that there was some danger in him." One taunted, hauling Yzak from the behind. Yzak, who had yet to recover from the earlier shove found himself once again off balance and cart-wheeling to the back. His astonished blue eyes caused even more laughter from the crowd.

_Ther were embarrassing him. They were laughing. They were laughing at him. They were like those people who had raped him. They were like those people who tried to destroy him._

A dangerous gleam sparked in Yzak's icy blue eyes, his silver hair was still covering his eyes and with his head bowed, Yzak looked the perfect picture of a pretty boy cowed. The men jeered at him and continued to take advantage, all of them who were in for some fun joining in while those who were not interested merely watched on the sides. None of them realised the clenched fists, the bitten bottom lip, the snarl that was growing in Yzak's throat until it was too late.

Much too late.

"What?!"

* * *

Author's note: I know this is a very late update, and that there is not much of a climax here, but, I hope that you guys will still enjoy the story and that it is still progessing as you guys hope it would be. Anyways, Yzak and Dearkka has found their own paths and one of them would lead to Athrun and another to Nicol Amalfi. Both of them would be a race of time, those who meet first would be the one who has the upper hand. Athrun Zala has left Miriallia Haw behind and she has met with Nicol Amalfi, both of them have a future together, however, none of them would expect how it will turn out. So do please read on and tell me if you like this ficcie of mine. Thanks. 


	19. Voices

_**In the previous chapter, Dearkka Elsman has found a job in Murrue Ramius's restaurant while Yzak Joule got caught up in a fight. Miriallia Haw had finally found a place to stay with Elizabeth or Lizzie and met with Nicol Amalfi and next in this chapter is...  
**_

**Voices**

By:frost2light

Lacus Clyne awoke to her mobile phone's beeping. Blinking drowsily at the blue fluorescent light that illuminated her bedroom in minute blinks, she tried to read the caller ID that was usually written on the LCD screen. However, where the name should be, there was none. It was a call from an unspecified number. Instantly awake, she flipped open her mobile and answered.

"You know you should not pry so much." A familiar voice resonated down the line. It was a voice she had started to hate not so long ago. Yet, something seemed strange with the voice, something that was important but what she could not register and did not want to think about. Pushing away the nagging feeling, she focused instead on the midnight unexpected caller.

"Is it necessary to call me in the middle of the night to say these things? I thought you were more professional than that." Lacus said calmly while her insides felt like throwing her dinner, lunch and breakfast out.

The person at the other side of the phone chuckled humorously, enjoying the conversation before replying, "You are tensed today."

"Ishida Toshiro, council member of PLANTS, what is the purpose of this phone call?" Lacus stated without preamble, she did not want to talk to this man, she detested that oily slick voice that threatened her sanity and her conscious. But, most importantly, where was he calling from? Ishida had recently disappeared from the formal meetings, leaving almost a week ago, Lacus had asked his department where their boss had gone but her questions were only met with blank looks. They shrugged every time she inquired about his whereabouts and it was as if Ishida Toshiro did not exist. Lacus felt her frustration boiling, it was one when the only person who did not take her seriously was him, but it was darn right irritating and rude when his whole department did not care about answering her questions.

"Lacus Clyne, you should know what this phone call is. Who must be wondering where I am, and what I'm doing right now, maybe I am cooking up some mischief, planting yet another nuclear bomb to decimate PLANTS?"

Lacus gritted her teeth, not wanting to give the bastard the satisfaction of hearing her snap. Her right hand which was holding on to the mobile phone gripped the small machine tightly, her fingers going white with the hold. It was starting to hurt, but, Lacus welcomed the slight discomfort. It was better if her concentrated on something that she could ignore than the voice coming down the line.

"I see. You are trying to ignore me." The other's voice stated the bare fact, his voice becoming colder and with a dangerous undercurrent which sent shivers down Lacus's spine. "But, it's all right, you can ignore the voice, but you cannot ignore the message that I am about to tell you."

"Do not start prying again into my plans. You do your job and I don't disturb your peaceful life. Mess with me and I will personally do what you think I won't."

"What do you mean?" Lacus tried to buy time by playing stupid. She knew that Ishida was warning her away from her discovery that she had presented to Tracy Robb, Justin Song and Ken Kurosaki. But, what she had presented was lacking, it was merely to trigger their defence mechanism towards outward threats. So, if it was not because of that, was it because of the later, much more important hunch that she had?

"Do not try to guess my game Lacus Clyne, you are far too young and inexperienced to think political. It is not your style nor your forte, so give it up before anybody gets hurt. You should know what I mean and understand that. The nuclear bomb I planted on all the other colonies are merely dormant, they are still incredibly reactive and alive. It just depends on whether I would like them in shape or dust. It is just that simple."

"You do not know what you are trying to do."

"But, I do know. I know that I want to achieve my goals with the least possible human damage. However, if there is the need, you know that I will not hesitate, the button is so easy to depress now since there the first time. It is just a button no?"

"Don't do this."

"Why should I not? Is it not interesting that you have somebody to match your wits with? I know you told Tracy and the other council members, but it would be not much of a use. You see I have this perfect weapon waiting at my beck and call, if I so much as think they are a hindrance, they will be easily eliminated. Just a phone call Lacus, just a phone call. Their live are only worth that much."

"You are insane."

"Yes I am, you are right. It is true that I'm insane, but, you cannot do anything to stop me. I know you know yet another morsel of information I would prefer not disclosed but I shall leave it to your good judgement what your next move will be. It is your choice Lacus Clyne. Comrades by your side to fight with you, or…just you and me. It won't be a boring fight though no matter which way you choose."

"Oh…and by the way Lacus Clyne. Do not try tracing this call, everything has been readied and it will be ages till you figure out anything else. So, this is an advice to you, don't try to waste your time. I bid you adieu fair lady, sleep well." And with that, Ishida closed the connection with a laugh and left Lacus to the silence of her bedroom.

Staring unseeingly into the front, Lacus's blue eyes dimmed and her untied pink hair fell like a curtain to cover her facial expression. She was losing this game of tug of war. His words affected her like a chain, her inexperience he had said, her age, he had laughed, all these were words that trapped her, made her self confidence wither away. She had not believed what he had said in the past, yet, after days and weeks of trying to get hold of that sly wolf, it was proving almost impossible.

_Don't give up just yet. He was afraid you would stumble over more proof. That is the only one reason why he called. Don't bend under his will!"_

Lacus knew what her inner self told her was the truth, there was no need for Ishida to call at three o'clock in the morning just to warn her away. In fact, after the discovery of those storages that contained those human clones, Lacus had stumbled over the bioweapons information. It was just a random pack files in the PLANTS rubbish bin over the information system. It was sitting there but what was special about it was that it was too inconspicuous, the name, the file size, everything. It was just rubbish, but somehow, Lacus had manoeuvred the cursor and opened the file. Her eyes had widened at the avalanche of information depicting the experiments, the results, the way it was done, why it was done, how it was done and most important of all, who had asked those despicable things to be done.

Rogue experiments were known to happen once in a while, Lacus knew that no matter how thorough she was with her job, even her eyes could not take care of everything. There were too many colonies on PLANTS and too many holes to hide. Colony 5 was one of the perfect examples. It was a dead but alive colony. Dead because of the lack of monetary funds into its economy, alive because of the illegal stuff they do on there that provide money for the inhabitants. Colony 5 had been a headache for her and the council members. Since there was no way they could stop it, they had decided to close an eye over the operations, affectively abandoning that colony.

Lacus continued thinking, it was not unusual for bioeweapons to be developed in this current age and time, defence against others was needed and the more powerful the defence mechanism, the better the chances of winning. However, Lacus did not approve of the combinations of human clones, especially genetically advanced and modified clones, it was as if it was fine tuned to test the bioweapons on those beings before unleashing it unto the world. Ishida Toshiro wanted all tests to be done on Coordinator - like beings to test whether how those microbes would react to them. It was as if he wanted to know the effects on them and what kind of organisms are needed to not affect their system, which in other words mean, this weapon was not meant for Coordinators but for the people on Earth.

This discovery meant nothing if three years ago. The war made normal people cruel and ruthless. It was not forgivable, but it was understandable. Lacus was not one to judge, look what she herself had done to those who had stood in her way. Therefore, the main reason that made Lacus cringe was the date and the lack of knowledge regarding these experiments. It had been three years since the war, all projects concerning Coordinators and Naturals wellbeing were either stopped completely or if allowed to proceed, be done with two representatives from both sides a year after the war. The second condition was that all these experiments were done with the approval and knowledge of Lacus Clyne, the head of National Defense.

Without those two conditions above, nothing could be done. Grants were not given, experiments on that huge scale was not possible unless there was a powerful backer who had limitless funds. Ishida Toshiro was powerful, but he was not rich. He was able to live a leisurely life but not one that promised funds that never end. So who was the person who could do that? And in the phone call he had mentioned a perfect weapon, a perfect weapon to use to eliminate those that helped her, who was that perfect weapon. Ishida had said that phrase with pride and conviction, Lacus had an uneasy feeling that this weapon was much more dangerous than the nuclear bombs.

"Damn it Toshiro. What the hell are you planning?! Why do you want Orb? Why do you need those experiments, what were you developing that needed so many sacrifices? Who is backing you! God damn it!" Lacus whispered into the breaking dawn and the beginning of yet another day.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Yzak Joule finished the fight with a punch that was hard enough to break the last assailant's jaw. He watched coldly as the man slumped down unconscious, his face a mess. This man, Bill, was the last one standing and the best fighter amongst the other brawlers that had tried to pick on him. But, Yzak was not one without experience either. The fight had been interesting to watch, but it was evident who would win in the end. Yzak was much too nimble and fast for the other heavier and stockier man, what he lost in size, he compensated with speed and agility.

Yzak grimaced and scowled at the blood that was splashed on his shirt and fists. They were sore, his knuckles, but not a feeling he was not accustomed to. Fighting on the streets had been perfect practise and a learning ground for skills that promised instant victory. It was dirty fighting, but it was necessary to equip oneself with those skills in order to stay alive. Yzak features bunched in more when he smelt the coppery metallic scent near his nose, it meant that there was more on his face, not his but theirs which made him even more pissed off.

"Where is the toilet?" He growled to the bartender who was cowering behind the high top bar. Earlier, the bartender had egged those who had attacked him on, not thinking that the slim teenager in front of him had been that dangerous or that violent. His pale blue eyes met frozen cold ice and he shuddered. His left hand trembled when he lifted it to point Yzak to the direction of the toilet, not trusting himself to talk. He was afraid that if he opened his mouth, the contents of his stomach would come pouring out. It had been threatening to do so when this silver hair demon had gouged one of the men's eyes out in order to prevent him from coming up again and stabbed yet another in the groin before kicking it to push the knife further in. The screams and groans of pain will haunt the bartender for a long time.

"Thank you." Yzak sneered at the petrified bartender who had urinated in his fear. Yzak had enjoyed the fight and the adrenalin rush, however, when his eyes took in the carnage that he had created in that process, he could not force himself to be happy. What he felt was disgust. He had once again returned back to what Patrick Zala had wanted for him to become. Yzak gritted his teeth and stalked towards the bathroom to clean up. He tried convincing himself that what he had done was all right, that he was all in self defence but, his memories refused to cooperate with him.

"_No…stop! Stop! Please…I did not mean to laugh at you. I apologize please!" The man was whimpering and crawling away from the silver haired teenager who had that small eerie smile that made him look so beautiful and terrifying at the same time. His wide eyes widened even more when the teenager cracked his knuckles and advanced even more. The man's back touched wood and his pleads became more and more frightened and desperate, louder and louder till it became a jumble of keening and wailing noises. Yzak enjoyed that fear, it made him powerful, it made him feel alive. _

"_You laughed. You wanted to hurt me. Why should I forgive you?" _

"_No..please…please…" _

"_There are no second chances, not for me, nor for you. What you did was your choice and this is mine." Yzak squatted down in front of the man who was sitting with his two legs splayed out and his back towards the wooden panelling of the bar's wall, his eyes slowly roving down the man's two legs. "What would you do if I broke both of your legs? This you can choose, you can either want me to break it so it would be irreparable or…"_

"_Please..no..I have a family to…"_

_"To? To what? And just because I came in alone, I had no family? So is that the reason why you choose to pick on me?" Yzak's rage was coming back and a red haze started to blanket everything except the man who had tried to take away his pride. _

_"No..please…"_

_"Save your pleads for another pair of ears who are willing to listen." Yzak said coldly before breaking both of the man's legs with his bare hands. He bent the man's knees till he heard the satisfying crack and twisted to make sure the deed was done. The screams were like music to his ears, just like his screams were music to those people who had raped him, who had laughed. He was punishing those men with these. He did not care they were different. It did not matter._

Yzak stared back at his reflection in the mirror, at the silver hair specked with blood, at the skin that was painted red, at the cold blue eyes that were cruel and at the lips that still held the faint smile that he had when he was beating those men to pulp. His eyes narrowed as he contemplated smashing the mirror that showed him everything he did not want to see. He had enjoyed creating the pain, he had enjoyed hearing those men scream, he had revelled in the fear he created, he had just invented that self defence for his own justification. Yzak had known what would happen if he walked into the bar, he had known beforehand. He had asked which was the most dangerous before he had arrived at his destination.

He had been searching for a reason to release his anger. And he had found it.

"You are good, boy." A slow drawling voice spoke from behind him, making Yzak twist fast and fall into a defensive pose, banging his elbow onto the porcelain basin behind him. He fought down the urge to wince, to groan and stared unflinchingly at the blond haired man in front of him. The blond man's face was hidden behind a white mask that covered his eyes and part of his nose, the weird getup making Yzak extremely uncomfortable. He hated the unknown.

"What is it to you?" He spat out, wary, his blue eyes never leaving the blond man, all senses piped up and alert. This man in front of him was different, the easy pose, the light feet that brought him behind Yzak without him realising, all pointed to one fact. This man knew how to move and though Yzak did not sustain any serious injuries that hindered his fighting ability, he did not want to pick a fight he did not know if he could win.

"Tsk…are you always this defensive?"

"What is it to you?" Yzak snarled out a repeat of his earlier sentence, his fists tightening. His anger triggered his ability and the moisture in the air becoming heavier and heavier with each moment till it became hard to breath. The blonde man raised his eyebrow in slight surprise when he felt the change of atmospheric pressure. His eyes that were behind the film of one sided glass mask watched the angry boy and his eyes widened at the sight of the water that was flowing straight from the tap began to waver and lean towards Yzak. Storing the small information into his head for further reference, he smiled, thin lips curling up, hands held out in a peace offering.

"My name is Klueze."

"And?" Yzak rudely barged in, impatient. The man in front of him bothered him and he hated the feeling of not being in control.

"My..my…you are indeed the hot tempered one." Klueze chuckled, not caring about the dangerous narrowing of the silver haired boy. He shrugged before saying in a much more serious tone. "I want you."

Yzak was thrown off balance by the three stark words and he felt a shiver run down his spine as the hairs on his neck started to stand. The three simple words were said possessively and left no room for bargain. Yzak wanted to say something, to push away the offer and walk away, but spluttered out, "What do you mean?"

"Just that."

Bewildered, Yzak forgot to defend and Klueze took the opportunity to step closer to the younger boy. His left hand snaked up and clutched Yzak's jaw in a death grip, enjoying the flare of stark fear in the blue eyes. Yzak pulled back his hand in order to punch Klueze in the solar plexus but he danced away, the earlier smile replaced by a smirk. Yzak off balance from the punch stumbled forward and right into the man's chest with a slight muffled "oof".

"Hmm…I did not know you were that eager." Klueze taunted, amused.

"Kuso." Yzak cursed angrily, pushing the blonde man away forcefully, before wanting to follow up with a round house kick. Yet, as if he knew what Yzak wanted to do, he ducked and swiped Yzak's feet from under him. With his only support gone, he fell backward, and his head hit the basin with a loud smack, before tumbling onto the floor in a small heap, losing consciousness immediately. Klueze shook his head, amazed at how temperamental the young kid was.

"You really have lot to learn. Fighting in such a limited space, it is a wonder you have kept your life with you so long." Grinning like a Cheshire cat with its paw in the proverbial cream, he checked Yzak's injury which stained his silver hair a bright red at the back before fishing into his pocket for his mobile phone. Pushing one button, he heard the familiar beeps of the usual number being called and waited patiently for the other side to answer.

"Hello? How may I help you?" A polite female voice came onto the line, sweet and lilting.

"Pass me on to your boss."

"Klueze?" The woman confirmed, the politeness gone and was replaced with concern. "Where have you been? Boss has been searching for you."

"I know..I'm sorry Frey, but I have something for him. Could you please pass him on?"

"All right, but I'm warning you, he's not very happy at the moment."

"Daijoubu…"

"Hold please then…." And the voice was replaced by music that played London Bridge. Klueze hated that music and his lower half of his face which was not covered showed his displeasure. Klueze crouched down beside the still slumbering teenager and watched his face, taking in the frown, the slight scratches here and there and his features- the thin lips, the straight nose and his long eyelashes. Klueze reached out and turned the boy's face, careful not to aggravate the head injury and searched for any clues to why the boy could control water.

However, before he could make any progress on his search, his boss came on the line and with an oily, bored voice that had an evident pout in it demanded where he was. Klueze cringed inwardly but outwardly, he replied the question, "I'm at Incarnate's. I found you another fighter."

"Oh?"

"Yes…this is a silver hair demon. Full of potential, untrained though." He kept his sentences short and simple. He did not like talking to that bastard though he did not show it.

"Really?" The voice sounded interested now, "You know what to do."

"Yes."

"We'll see you tonight and I hope what you say is right. I hate losing to that prig Patrick Zala again. Undeniably, that Athrun Zala is good but I do believe that there are others who are better, don't you think so? I certainly think you will deliver this time right Klueze?" Murata Azrael, the boss of the local yakuza dripped honey down the line, but Klueze knew that the honey was just an illusion, the sting was just behind. His fists clenched at the thought of the threat and he wished he had ways to release himself from this man. If it was not because of….

"Klueze?" The honey coated concern again.

"Yes I understand." Klueze wasted no time and closed his mobile phone. He stared down at Yzak for a moment before his lips started curving up and a gleam could be seen in his eyes.

"You will be my weapon to escape." He whispered to the fallen boy before heaving Yzak like a sack of potatoes onto his shoulder and walking out of the bathroom where everything had taken place into the outside carnage. The moans and groans and the smell of blood still lingered in the air, the place was deathly quiet when he walked out with the silver teenager over his shoulder, all eyes following his progress till the door. Klueze fought down the urge to wave and stepped out of Incarnate and into the morning sunlight.

It was time to set his plan into motion.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kira Yamato's eyelashes fluttered and he groaned slightly as he struggled to open his heavy eyelids. Weakly, his hands moved as his muscles protested with each movement, he felt as if he had been rolled over and squashed by a two ton truck. His eyes slowly opened and the light that came after the darkness pierced his sensitive violet orbs. He closed them, instinctively, before slowly trying to accustom himself to the filtered rays from the outside. He was thankful that the drapes were closed and the rays that came in were not as terrible as it would have been otherwise.

_Where am I? Where is this place? Why do I not remember what happened? There was another person like me? _

Rolling onto his side, Kira tried to push himself up from the comfort of the bed and was surprised to see a slumbering Nicol on his left. Nicol Amalfi's breathing was slow and rhythmic and Kira's expression softened. The questions that he had pushed to the back of his mind and he concentrated on making his muscles work in order to wake Nicol up. Grimacing, he stretched out his hand and pushed Nicol slightly, trying to stir him, he did not want him to wake up with a stiff neck like he had right now.

Neck? Neck.

_Blood spurted out, creating an arch that painted the green red._

Kira's breath hitched in his throat as the horrifying moment when death nearly claimed him pushed past the mind barriers he had created during his slumber. Cold sweat had formed on his forehead as his hands trembled. What was that about? Why blood? Why had it felt so real? Kira willed one of them to move and to touch his throat. His relief when he found his neck intact and skin, not blood, meeting his fingers was tremendous. Calming himself with deep breaths, Kira's eyes stared unfocused onto the bed spread, his intention of waking Nicol flying out the window as more memories assaulted his already loaded senses.

_A second Kira._

_Athrun's emerald green eyes._

_The fleeting look of guilt._

_The voice telling him that he was going to be all right._

_The blonde haired girl._

"Kira…Kira…Kira!" Nicol's voice broke through his train of thoughts as he felt his body being shaken. Kira snapped back into reality and turned, his eyes dilated as he stared unseeingly at his friend.

"Kira! Kira!" Nicol continued calling out, trying to keep his voice calm. Kira was caught up in shock, he recognized the signs. It was not usual to have these conditions when you wake up from a nightmarish end to a day. However, when Nicol could not see Kira responding, he started to shake the younger boy. He had awoken when Kira whimpered and started to pull the bed spread that he had fallen asleep on, and the first thing that he saw was Kira sitting straight up in the bed, blankets thrown away and staring at his left hand while his right was clutching tightly at his throat.

"Nicol…?" Kira's voice, hoarse from lack of water was tentative, as his violet eyes started to blink and focus on the worried Nicol. "What…what..happened?"

Nicol heaved a slight sigh of a combination of relief and exasperation, he pushed his hands through his green hair in a nervous gesture as he pondered what to tell Kira. Kira's violet eyes stared unblinkingly at Nicol as he waited with bated breath on what his companion had to say. Finally, Nicol asked, "What do you remember?"

"I don't know." Kira started as he tried to pull back those fleeting memories that created such desperation and fear. "I woke up, I did not know where I was and then I wanted to wake you so that you would not get a stiff neck…and suddenly everything just went black and …memories of. …just blood and….and more blood…a blonde haired girl…girl…and a boy who looked just like me fought me and…and…she said you would come…. not alone." The last few words were whispered, but the terror that was there started to fade and instead was the panic of not remembering something important.

"Kira, look at me…look at me." Nicol commanded as the air between his palms grew a warm yellow while bright purple sparkles mixed with a combination of pale blue and pink danced among the glow. His voice prompted Kira to look at him once again and his blank eyes came in contact with the yellow glow. Nicol had always used this way to comfort the other boy when he had been upset when they were young. He waited till Kira's lips curled up into a small smile and his fists relaxed before saying what he wanted to say.

"You said your twin would be coming….what do you mean by that?"

"I remembered fighting..and losing before a blonde haired girl barged into the room and saved me. I remembered waking up and wanting to kill the other me and she was caught into the mess. She was so brave and she looked like a warrior…a lioness…she said she would join me…here..at Elizabeth's bed and breakfast…she said she would come."

"Kill the other me?"

Kira frowned for awhile, a deep scowl that Nicol had never seen him express before, that look of anger, of hatred and it made him wonder what had occurred for Kira to be so angered, before Kira said, "I'm sorry Nicol, but this is something that I don't know how to explain nor want to. But, rest assured that everything is taken care of and that no matter what, I have accepted that part of me."

Nicol looked curiously at Kira and wondered what had come over the usually soft spoken boy, the last sentence was spoken with a conviction that Kira Yamato had never had. Nicol would not say that Kira was a pushover, but he had always gone with whatever the larger crowd wanted and had never thought of expressing what he wanted, much less his displeasure. Nicol did not mean Kira was a coward, but, the words, did not want trouble came into mind and that was how Kira was. However, he remembered that while they were still with Meng sensei, Kira had been much more forceful, a small young kid who got whatever he wanted, by hook or by crook. Nicol had worried for quite some time when Kira had awakened with a different personality after being injected with the serum to forget.

_Maybe…_

Shaking his head, Nicol cleared away those unnecessary doubts and continued questioning Kira gently, "And you mentioned a twin, you said you would be coming. Who do you mean?"

"Do you remember that you mentioned a sister? I met her..in my dreams…not for the first time but for the second. She saved me…from me…"Kira's sentence trailed off when a look of admiration and tenderness swept away the harsh expression from before. "She said before she disappeared that she would be coming and told us to wait for her."

"Do you know who she is?" Nicol asked. He did remember that fact but he had not mentioned to Kira that his sister, or his twin was the Representative of Orb, an important position whose responsibility be shirked just like that.

"No." Kira looked sharply at Nicol before asking, "Do you know?"

"Yes. She is the representative of this country."

A sharp intake of breath from Kira showed his surprise and a grin played about his lips as he whispered to nobody in particular, "No wonder she could make me listen…"

Nicol caught the last part and his eyebrows raised but he fought down the urge to comment on anything, instead, he probed further into Kira's returning memory. "What else do you remember? Athrun Zala perhaps? What else do you remember about him?"

A tense silence filled the room as Kira frowned again, his brows coming together and his expression grew fierce. "He tried to kill me." He growled out finally but his voice lacked the hatred and Nicol could detect an underlying hurt that was quite hidden but there.

"You liked him didn't you?" He wanted to make sure.

"Yes." A silent sigh. Kira's eyes grew wistful as he recalled the green eyed teenager and wondered why he did not blame the teenager for that move. Athrun…he had whispered something into his ear when he was unconscious, he could not remember it now, but he had a feeling that that was the only reason why he could not dig up any vestige of anger on what Athrun did to him.

"What did you find out that night that needed such a drastic action?" Nicol broke the silence yet again with another question.

" _Patrick wanted to create the ultimate weapon, he wanted the world to recognize him as the best, the man who could better others, the man who would eventually conquer the world. He wanted to create you."_

"He was Yvette's son and that Patrick Zala created him as the ultimate weapon. Like me…he is the ultimate coordinator, destined to be the weapon for Patrick Zala to conquer the world."

"So Yvette was telling the truth." Nicol whispered distractedly which made Kira turn around and stare at him.

"When did you get to talk to her?"

"I would not say talk…" Nicol said, slightly bitter, as the image of chains and a heavy lock flashed before his eyes. He had not wanted to promise Yvette to save her son, he was supposed to destroy Patrick's work, to kill off any threats to the world, but right now….he had made a promise and he was not one to go back onto his word. Nicol looked down at his hands and watched the yellow glow that was still there, he watched absent mindedly at the sparkles and admired their freedom.

"Nicol…?" This time it was Kira who was worried. He remembered this look…and the broken friend later.

"Never mind. I promised Yvette that I would save Athrun and bring him back. Isn't it funny? I have to destroy and save at the same time. What would Meng sensei say? What should I do, Kira? " Nicol laughed. Kira knew that Nicol had wanted that last sentence to be a joke but what it came out sounded far from that, it was a self taunting laugh that was both a bit crazy and sane, chilling Kira who looked at him, not knowing what to say to comfort his close friend.

"Let's just take things one step at the time all right? We'll wait for Cagalli Yula Athha and..maybe..we will find something that we can do." He said softly.

Nicol nodded to Kira's suggestion and forced a small grin onto his strained features. But, Kira could still see the haunted past in Nicol's eyes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Cagalli Yula Athha opened her eyes slowly, the images in front of her blurred and unclear. Blinking the vagueness away, Cagalli suppressed a moan that threatened to erupt from her lips. Her head was pounding and the headache she had was splitting her head. There was a cloying smell to the room that was distasteful and reminded her of the days she had to spend on the street and watch people die. Her mouth tasted like sandpaper and had a bad tang to it, working her tongue over her dry lips, she tasted something coppery and metallic. Frowning, Cagalli swallowed before trying to move.

"Kuso…"She cursed in a gasp as the pain from her head radiated through her tired body, ignoring it with gritted teeth she tried to rise from her sleeping position. The room tilted and turned, making her stomach churn with dizziness but she refused to give up. However, no matter how she tried to move, the blanket covering her just would not budge. Her scowl deepening, Cagalli turned her head to check the sides of the bed and her expression softened almost immediately when she met with Hinata Yui's dark head.

"Hinata…"She called out softly, "Hinata.."

"Huh? Huh? I don't want to leave the office…I have to stay…stay.." Hinata muttered groggily, her lips moving sluggishly to form words that made Cagalli smile in mirth. Cagalli allowed Hinata to continued sleeping and gave up from moving. Laying back onto the pillow, reluctantly, Cagalli's mind started wandering and the events of the previous night came back. She now understood the metallic taste and the cloying smell, it all came from her. Remembering the blood and the slippery liquid that coated her fingers and spurted from her slit neck, Cagalli could not suppress that shudder. The line from being alive and dead was so close and she had nearly lost her life and her brother's.

Kira Yamato.

Elizabeth's bed and breakfast.

Cagalli'a amber eyes grew moist as a warm feeling flooded her heart. She was no longer alone. She had a family she would find once Hinata woke up. She had a path to walk and a goal. It was not as glamorous as being a Representative but this was her first step in protecting. She had held the power for that small period of time but had lost sight of what she was. The past was a good teacher indeed and though it was irritating and hurtful that people betrayed her, it was a lesson learnt and a lesson to be remembered. She would not forgive herself for allowing herself to be blindsided by the power and the money, but she would better herself in order to save Orb. Her bitterness of the past was not gone but it no longer threatened to make her cry or howl.

Turning her head towards the window, she let her mind drift and all of a sudden her vision blurred again. The familiar feeling of being projected out of her current time and travelling through space to another place, a future that had yet to be determined descended upon her. Cagalli squeezed her eyes shut and concentrated, she was still an amateur in this business but she had to learn if she was to help. The queasiness lessened this time around and by the time the floating feeling left her, Cagalli opened her eyes and scanned her surroundings, hearing voices not faraway. Frowning, she tried to find her way through the mist, gauging her distance on pure instinct towards the voices that were so different yet the same.

_This vision is different. Why? Why is there so much mist, unlike the last time, I cannot see this future clearly, does this mean that it can be changed? Does it mean something? Cagalli squinted her eyes and there were images, black shadows to be more precise that flickered and danced in the mist, creating a threatening atmosphere. It was everywhere, jumping and curling towards a small glow of pink light that was growing smaller every time the shadow licked at it._

_ "You don't know what you are doing." A calm voice cutting through the mist, strong and stubborn yet minimizing in strength as the words slowly passed by._

_ I'm you, you are me. But, this is where the differences end. I'm stronger than you. Much stronger that I can do whatever I want. You created me, you wanted to disappear, so you created me to take your place, do what you want to do but is stopped by those useless sympathy and empathy. Your prison is not mine, I will live the way I want to. I will do whatever I want to. If I want to destroy I will. You. Are. Helpless. To. Stop. Me." The last few words were whispered into the mist, the shadows dancing even more frantically now. _

_Cagalli drifted aimlessly, her will the only thing keeping her going, her instinct telling her that she had to stop at nothing to find out to whom the voices belonged to. They were strange, coming from everywhere and nowhere. Cagalli could differentiate two intonations, one calm but losing and the other taunting. Who are they? They were so familiar that Cagalli could swear she heard those voices before. Straining to catch every word, Cagalli forced the questions to the back of her mind in order to concentrate._

_ "I will stop you." A vow, so strong yet beginning to fade into the night._

_ "Your spirit is good, I admire you, but you ran away and so I'm in charge. Inwardly, you want this, you revel in the destruction. I understand you better than you understand yourself. Do not fight me. I will win in the end." _

_ " I will stop you." The last silver of a promise before…_

_….The pink haired girl smiling as beautifully as the flames consumed her._

_"Help me Cagalli Yula Athha. Help me before I destroy everything."_

Cagalli's eyes snapped open. The last plea was clear. It was Lacus's voice.

"What the hell?" Cagalli muttered, "What in the world are you playing at Lacus Clyne? Why did your voice come to me for help? Who were you arguing with and losing? Why does both of them…."

"…sound so much the same?" Cagalli added as an afterthought.

"Cagalli – sama?" Hinata's sleepy voice broke through Cagallis musings. "Cagalli – sama! You are awake, how is your wound? How…"

"We have to go now."

"What…?"

"Elizabeth's bed and breakfast. We have to move now."

"Where..?" Cagalli empathised with the flustered girl but there was no time to waste.

_Lacus Clyne, no matter what your objective is, I will find out what is happening. Somehow, something tells me everything is connected to you. I do not know whether you are the victim or the predator, but what I know is that I have been given something special and this intuition is what I will listen to. I will find my brother and I promise you that I will not be too late to save you._

_You..the girl who will perish in flames with a smile._

* * *

_Author's note: Questions, questions and more questions? Well, it's finally heating up. Everything. What is Klueze doing in this whole mess? And Murata Azrael? What does he have to gain with fighting Patrick Zala?They might be just small peas in a a large pod, depending on how my muses go. But, if you like them to be an integral part of the plot, tell me and I will see what I can do.  
_

_I received a comment from one of the reviewers and I do intend to update more frequently, and to the others, please do leave a name or at least a email address, so I can thank you. I truly appreciate your time and lastly I hope you enjoy this latest chapter. _


	20. If Only

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty

If only

If pain was being alive, Yzak Joule did not feel like living at this current moment. Groaning, he pushed himself into a rightful position and cursed brokenly at the spinning room and the tap dancing little gremlins with high heels in his head. He wanted to scream and howl and bang his head hard onto a hard surface to make the pain go away, but he did not because he knew that would make it even worst. His fingers gently probed the back of his skull and he released his pain in a low hiss when he hit that particular tender spot. He did not need to look at his fingers to notice the flecks of dried blood, he could feel the dried matted feeling on his neck.

"I see you are awake." A familiar voice spoke up from the dark gloom that enveloped the room. Yzak's icy blue eyes narrowed at the voice but other than that he showed nothing else. "You have learnt." The voice chuckled as a chair scraped back, scratching the floor with a grating sound that sent sparks of white light in Yzak's vision. That sound was like chalk on a board, irritating and not particularly nice to listen to normally but under conditions like his, it was total hell. Rubbing circularly at his temples, Yzak wanted to snipe back but felt it was not worth the energy. Instead, his rational side told him to gather his own strength and information from the masked man although he had to rein in his fiery temper which had gotten him in this mess thus far.

"You must be wondering where you are and whether I have kidnapped you." Klueze commented wryly as his figure loamed over Yzak's sitting form. He bent down until he was eye level with the silver haired boy and leant forward. Yzak's body went stiff and Klueze could detect the changes the air again but went on ahead. He enjoyed teasing this boy. It made his blood sing with joy.

Without preamble, Yzak asked Klueze the only question he had been asking him since he had met him in Incarnate. "What do you want with me?"

"Straight to the point, I like that." Klueze whispered at Yzak's ear, making him shiver. The younger boy's face was emotionless but a dangerous tick had formed at his jaw and his pale complexion had more colour than before. Klueze grinned before patting Yzak on the cheek. And before Yzak could blow, he continued with the conversation as if nothing happened, "However, you really have to learn to control that tone of yours. You do not want to appear arrogant in front of him, he does not have the patience or the tolerance like I do. You have much to learn but…"

"God damn you, you bastard." Yzak closed his fist and the moisture content in the air coagulated around Klueze's throat, slowly but surely blocking off his airway. But to his credit, Klueze did not even flinch which surprised Yzak.

_Isn't he afraid of death? And why is he not surprised by my ability? _

Clearing his throat, Klueze smiled at the stunned boy and merely gestured with his hand. "I know what you are thinking but you are wrong. I do not fear death, to me, death might just be a blessing to take me away from this life and I know that you can control water from the bar. You should be able to handle stress better instead of rising to the bait every time. It is not good for your arteries Yzak."

"Shut up…"Yzak barked through gritted teeth, but he could not help but feel the sense of comfort through the ease that Klueze had displayed. This comfort did not exist even with Dearkka Elsman whom Yzak had thought he had at least thought as a comrade if not a lover when he found out about his unusual ability. Yzak did not bother to ponder long, he did not want to miss his blonde haired companion, he did not want to be reminded of the days he chose to leave behind. Instead, he turned his questioning towards the man in front of him. "I do not intend to work with you so you can forget what you have in mind."

"Well…don't be so fast on shooting down my offer… silver haired demon."

"Don't call me that." Yzak hissed angrily. That nickname brought back too many memories of needles and white coloured men and women in masks. They had called him that and taunted him as he struggled to get away, as they took him by force. The moisture in the air started to grown heavier and Klueze held up his hands in frustration.

"Cool it." He commanded in an equally cool voice before asking Yzak his name.

Sullenly, Yzak glared at the man behind the mask before revealing his front name. He wanted to rip away the mask and expose the man beneath but his head still throbbed and he did not want any sudden movement. Yzak could not afford an exploding head and did not appreciate art that contained brains spattered on walls. He knew for a fact that it was not a pretty sight.

"Yzak, I have a proposition for you. I train you, you do as I tell you to and no one else. Get me what I want and you are free. Money, fame, power, it will be all yours when your task is fulfilled."

"I don't trust you and what do you want?" Yzak retorted, his eyes mistrusting and suspicious. Nobody offered anything for free, and Yzak did not like the "him" Klueze had mentioned before Yzak's emotional made him strangle the blonde man.

"I do not need to disclose to you my private matters and it is not that important anyways. The main thing is you like to fight and I will give you the opportunity to do so. The Yakuza organizes a competition every three months. The champion walks away with one million in cash and the boss is kind to those who chooses to remain loyal and do his bidding. You do not belong here in Orb. Teens your age do not have dead eyes, if I were to make a guess I would say you are from Colony 5."

"…."His deduction rendered Yzak speechless and he could not help the feeling of awe at the man's ability though he would never admit it out loud.

"I do not expect you in telling me your life sob story. I am not interested in it. What I want to know is that whether you will accept my proposition. I presume you came here in search of something better, something that Colony 5 cannot give you. Money and fame clearly appeals to you, it appeals to everybody these days. So what do you say?"

"What is it in for you?" Yzak was not dumb and he understood the implication clearly. "Do this and what do you get?"

"Whatever I get is none of your business but what you will get if you win this competition is guaranteed. You want money, you can have the one million in cash, I do not want any of that prize money. You want fame, fighting and winning the finals will be enough fame for you, trust me on that, I know. Power comes later when you establish yourself but it will be sooner than you think."

"Who do I have to fight against?"

"Another teen like you. Athrun Zala."

"What so special about him?"

Klueze chuckled before answering but there was no humour in his voice when he continued his talk with Yzak, "He kills. He maims. Ruthless to the core, if you die, it is because you are just not good enough. You still up to it?"

"Sounds interesting. Count me in." Yzak replied without pause, his icy blue eyes gleaming with challenge, the thirst for action already overcoming his common sense. He did not believe that anybody could be better than him. After all, he had what others did not. He could control water and if the going gets tough, he would do anything in his power to win. He was looking forward to the money and the rewards. His life was finally beginning.

"Good, training starts now. You have three days before the start of the fights."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cagalli Yula Athha watched the scenery pass by but her eyes were not focused on the busy streets, the buildings nor the trees that replaced those after time went by. The city was soon left behind and the countryside of Orb came into view. Hinata Yui checked the road signs and signalled, following the directions that Cagalli had given her before they started the journey. Going down the ramp and overtaking a red vehicle that was planning to go on ahead, she brought the both of them away from the highway and into the heart of a quaint little town. Hinata snuck a quick peek at the silent girl sitting in the passenger seat and worried whether Cagalli was going through yet another episode of hers.

_What is happening? Everything is happening so fast. A brother? Where in the world did Cagalli gain a brother? Is he a hoax? What happened yesterday night? There was so much blood and now there's not even a single scratch on her neck.._

Hinata silently contemplated those questions and for that one crucial moment, she lost her concentration at the T junction where a pedestrian crossing bisected the small road. Slamming on her brakes as her eyes registered a second too late that there was a figure in front of her car, Hinata twisted the steering wheel and the wheels of her car ran up the curb, barely avoiding the raven haired teenager with sunglasses. Thrown off balance, Cagalli Yula Athha snapped out of her reverie as her body jerked forward and into the seatbelt before falling back and knocking the breath out of her.

"What the hell?!" She gasped out, her eyes scanning the surroundings wildly. It took her a moment before her mind registered that this was not an ambush and she calmed her breathing and squashed the notion of ducking under the dashboard to avoid incoming bullets. It was ironic how the training and precaution steps she had to master and go though came back to her the instant anything out of the blue occurred. However, this was not a situation where the practise came in handy, indeed it just made her feel incredibly stupid and foolish. Her lips curling up into a smirk, a taunt at herself her eyes caught sight of the teenager that caused Hinata to swerve.

_Raven haired with sunglasses. Slim build…._

_He should have emerald green eyes….._

Cagalli's eyes swept past the teenager, glaring at him for a minute before turning away. Yet, immediately after, she did a double take at the last thought and the wheels in her brain started turning as the past visions came back to her. She had not been paying attention to the teenager but as her eyes continued to stare at him shamelessly the second time, time seemed to stop. Recognition dawning on her features, Cagalli's eyes narrowed and her fingers hurriedly undid the seatbelt. He was indeed the boy who had been the one who held the knife up high and stabbed down mercilessly at Kira Yamato, she was sure about it. He not only looked like that boy, he emitted that same dangerous air that she noticed in her vision.

_I have to stop him!_

Athrun Zala kept his face emotionless as he watched the car run up the curb, not moving a step to check on the passengers in the vehicle. However, he narrowed his eyes that were hidden behind the sunglasses and his whole body tensed to turn around when he noticed that the blonde girl in the car stared at him as if she recognized him, her amber eyes burning with a determination that he did not like. Turning away, he heard the door open and the blonde's voice commanding him to stop. Not wanting to attract attention, Athrun merely quickened his footsteps and ignored the calls, pretending that the unknown girl was shouting for somebody else.

"You there! Stop!" Cagalli shouted, her voice loud in the silence as her fists bunched up into fists unconsciously, her senses sharpening, everything becoming crystal clear as the adrenaline started pumping. "Hey you!"

"Cagalli – sama?" Hinata's surprise was written in her voice as she too got out of the car only to be ignored by Cagalli who was already in pursuit of the stranger.

"Cagalli – sama! Where are you going?!" She called again, knowing it was futile but trying it anyways. She recognized the gait that brought Cagalli further away from her car, it was the graceful movements of a lioness on the hunt. Hinata had not seen it since the day Lacus Clyne had appeared in Orb and made that incredulous proposal and it only meant one thing - Cagalli was intent on something. Hinata's eyes focused into the distance and her sharp eyes catching sight of the only human other than the two of them striding purposefully away from the both of them.

"Where are you going again?" Hinata breathed out as she turned away from the two disappearing humans to check on her car. She was tempted to follow, and once again she dampened that urge and focused instead on her job on hand. She was worried, she was scared, and she had always been watching Cagalli's back, wondering when, that one day that she would finally disappear from her sight. Cagalli had always been so far away, too distant to touch and the only way to be there by her side was to stay useful, so useful she had to be.

Turning back to her car and opening the door, she got back inside and settled down. Starting the engine with a twist of her key, she depressed the button that automatically unwound the windows by her seat and the passenger side, allowing the wind that was blowing slightly into the car's small compartment. Putting her car into reverse, she felt the wheels bump down onto the smooth road before driving a short distance to a slightly more comfortable parking place and shut the engine, planning to wait till Cagalli came back. Sighing, she closed her eyes and whispered to the wind, confessing her fears to nobody but herself "Please come back safe…"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Dearkka Elsman cursed like a sailor when the aroma of burnt food floated up into his nostrils. Again. Disbelieving, he stared hard at the burnt egg and sausage in the middle of the saucepan whose blackened shapes looked as if they were taunting him from a round face. This was the third time, the third bloody time the breakfast plan had gone wrong. Dearkka felt his control slipping. He could murder someone, a particular brown haired someone who was standing at the side, watching. He was quite tempted indeed to wrap his fingers around a slim neck and just squeeze because he was also quite sure that that particular someone was enjoying the show very, very much, judging from the smirk that was slowly growing at the edges of her mouth.

Angrily, he slammed the pot into the sink and watched with grim satisfaction when everything went "shoosh" and white vapour rose up like a fog, closing out her grinning face. Grumbling about hopeless microwaves and evil slave drivers, he started to scrub the pot with a vengeance, ignoring pointedly the one person he knew was there. Struggling with a particularly stubborn blackened part where the egg yolk had decided to stay put, he scrubbed a teeny bit too hard. Sparkling drops of water and soap flew as if in slow motion up and in an arc before landing all on his face. All movements stopped as a surprised Dearkka finally yelped as the pain from the soap seeped into his left eye.

"Kuso!" He burst out, throwing the sponge back into the sink before cupping his hands in order to collect water to wash out the soap residue from his eye. Blinking furiously as his eyes were still tearing up from the earlier assault, he shut off the running water for good. He glared murderously at the doubled up Murrue and stalked out of the kitchen and into the serving area which was closed this particular morning as business does not start till late noon. Roughly pulling out a chair, he flopped dejectedly into it. Murrue's laughter chasing away the anger and leaving him emptied and feeling incredibly useless, what started out as a boast had ended up in failure. He could not believe how hopeless he was. Was it any wonder why Yzak Joule left him?

Murrue wiped away the tears that came from laughing so hard before walking towards the sink and the leftover dishes that were lying about in it. She surveyed the disaster area and shook her head, a smile still playing on her lips as she set off to work. Humming a soft tune as she bustled about the kitchen, she wondered what she was about to say to the proud teenager who was probably sulking outside. She needed to teach him the basics if he was to be able to help her during the busy hours during the night. She had another helper whom was coming on alternate nights but it was not enough. Recently, business had been improving and she needed all the help she could get her hands on. However, if Dearkka was only competent with a microwave, there was no way she business could survive.

_Especially if she wanted to survive without him._

Sighing slightly as the memories of Mwu La Flaga came back from the back of mind where she kept them, her eyes lost the distance and her hands stopped moving. During the war, she was a captain of one of the battleships that had been deployed to the fronts and he was the pilot of that certain fighter plane that protected her ship. Both of them had gotten off on a rocky start, he being too sure of himself and cocky while she, because of duty, had to reprimand him too many times to count. However, below the cocky attitude lay a man who was strong, reliable and that had attracted her to him. He had provided her a place to rest in his arms when the going had been too tough, especially when she doubted her leadership abilities and her decisions. It still amazed her what Flaga had seen in her icy bitch self in the past.

_"What would you do after the war?" She had asked that one night when both of them had been lying beside each other in her bed. It felt unusual. It felt weird. But, through it all, it felt nice, comforting. Murrue knew that she would never get used to her cold bed after tonight._

_"Hmm?" He had mumbled, his eyes half closed as his arms tightened more around her form. Appreciating the warmth that his body produced, Murrue had been satisfied to let the question go unanswered but he surprised her by answering._

_"A restaurant would be nice, a warm, homely, place where people could chat and eat and take their time. Naturals and Coordinators would mingle with each other and entertain while the both of us look on by the sides and make sure that food came out fresh and piping hot and the drinks are always on the flow."_

_"Sounds nice…." She had whispered as her mind imagined the settings, the people, the place where she would have her restaurant, the decorations but most of all, the images of the two of them. He had wanted her in his future._

_"It would be nice….if the war…ended…soon." He had said before drowsing off, leaving Murrue to her own thoughts. _

How long had it been? Three years? Four? How long had it been since that day when they had been so in love with each other that parting was so hard? If Murrue had been amazed on what had brought Mwu to her, now was the time to forget that amazement because he had left her. A note to the table and he was gone by the time she woke up. She had refused to believe his departure, she had read and reread the note till it was permanently etched in her memory and still she refused to believe. She did not want to destroy that hope that he would eventually come back.

A lock of brown hair slipped past her ear and flopped down, framing her face. Tiredly, she pushed it back and straightened her body. Looking out towards the dining area, she found her eyes searching for Dearkka. Locating him, she scrutinised his features and wished he was nobody else but Mwu who was sitting there where he should be instead of places where she could not follow. The water was still running, the plates and pans still unwashed but the two of them were caught up in their own world of hurt. Murrue understood dejection all too well and she could see it in Dearkka's eyes, when he thought no one was looking. What was his story? What was his life like?

"Did you really think you could find another Mwu?" She whispered to herself mocking. Her fingers clutched on a plate tightly as she fought down the emotions that Mwu's betrayal had evoked. Her wounds still hurt, time still was not enough to heal. Shaking her head, she pushed away all thoughts of the happy past and focused instead of living day by day. The restaurant had been their hard work but now since he was gone, she had to keep it alive. Business was steadily climbing and being busy did take off her mind off unnecessary things. She will make it and she would make sure the teenager outside would too.

"Dearkka!" She called out, forcing her voice to be normal. She hated the past because it made her weak. Yet, she did not want to forget the past, because it was a part of her. It had been a happy past with him around…it was complicated and complex. She was sick and tired of trying to think about it. Right now, she would focus on teaching Dearkka on how to cook without burning her kitchen down. Just like last time with Mwu…

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Cagalli Yula Athha was wheezing as she pushed her legs faster and harder. Biting down on her lip as her side started sending waves of pain to her head, she continued her pursuit of the raven haired teenager. There had been times when she had nearly lost him, but, it was as if he was taunting her, always appearing a few tantalising feet away, so near yet always so far away, goading her to catch him. _Catch me if you can…_ She could almost hear the challenge that he was sending her and she was responding to it with a gusto.

"You arrogant bastard, pray that I don't catch up!" She gasped out, frustrated and incensed at his irritating weaving. Chest heaving as sweat poured down her face, Cagalli swore that she had never been put through such intense an exercise session, even during martial arts training. Needless to say, since she had been sitting in the Orb's representative's chair, she had yet to get herself time to sleep much less keep herself fit so that she could chase after would be murderers. Nevertheless she continued on, she had to concentrate on getting her feet to move, one step at the time, and not fall flat on her face. Wobbling like jelly with each step and feeling her muscles protest from the fast paced walking, Cagalli cursed heartily as she proceeded down yet another alley way that was dark and dank smelling, not noticing the shadow that blended with the boxes that was scattered about.

Stepping out of the shadows, Athrun's lips curled up into a slight smirk. He was actually quite surprised that this girl would have fallen so easily for his trap. He wondered half heartedly if all people who had power were as stupid as the girl before him. Teleporting himself till he was right behind the blonde girl, he watched and listened in amusement as the teenager whom he had led in a wild goose chase mutter obscenities under her breath while she stared at the chain linked fence that was about eight feet high divide her and the other part of the neighbourhood. The expression on her face was priceless, the perplexed frown that creased her forehead and brought her eyebrows close together, the sweat that trickled down her back and drenched the thin material, it was a pity he would have to kill such a nice play thing.

"Do all of the Representatives of the country swear like a sailor?" He asked conversationally, surprising Cagalli whom was thinking of a way to scale the fence. Whipping her head around, Cagalli's immediate response was to stumble back a few steps to gain some distance between her and the other teenager. Cagalli could not believe how careless she had been to not notice his presence or the trap that he had led her into, she could have had her neck slit and she would be lying there dead in the gutter without any inkling that she was no longer alive if he so wished. Cagalli's amber eyes warily glanced around him, making sure that they were both alone, yet, she did not know whether that was a favourable condition or the total opposite.

_How did he get behind me without me noticing? Where did he hide himself? Why did I not hear a sound?_

Cagalli forced down every instinct to run and tried to pull her thoughts together. Appraising Athrun with a boldness that she did not feel inside, she took in the clothes that he was wearing, his features, the way his body was tensed for action, and the way he was looking at her…like she was dinner. Cagalli felt a shiver run down her spine but she refused to show her uneasiness or her nervousness. Squaring her shoulders and clearing her throat, the fatigue all but gone from her mind, she focused on the current situation and tried to think of something to say or do.

_God damn it. What in the world do you say to a would be murderer? Hey follow me to the nearest jail?!_

"Cat caught your tongue, Cagalli Yula Athha?" Athrun said sardonically as he took off his sunglasses, revealing the emerald green eyes that Cagalli had seen in her vision as her brain churned useless thought after useless thought.

Glaring at him, she retorted without thinking, "And do all good citizens suddenly appear after the representative like you do?"

Chuckling, a melodious sound that resonated in the alleyway, Athrun stepped one step forward to bring himself slightly closer to Cagalli, knowing that he was crowding her private space. He watched her take yet another step back, right as he had calculated which brought her closer to the chain linked fence and no way out. He smiled a little as the image of them both dancing to the death song came into mind, them being perfect partners in a dance of death. "No, they do not sneak up upon their Representatives, yet normal Representatives will not follow innocent people around into dark alley ways."

"You are not innocent." Cagalli blurted out, regretting her statement immediately as she watched the handsome teenager cock an eyebrow and nothing else as if what she had just said merely surprised him and nothing more. Cagalli hated this marble like statue and wished she could at least crack his pretentious façade and get to the real person underneath. "You are going to kill a boy, I have to stop you."

"And how are you going to do that?" Athrun asked lazily, an image of Kira Yamato popping unbidden into his mind.

"I... so you are not going to deny the charges of intended murder?" She asked, not believing the person in front of her. Normal people would at least deny vehemently that outrageous statement or maybe tell her to get lost, or maybe lose their patience and shout, but nothing came out from him except another challenge. His attitude made Cagalli's blood boil, and she hated and relished it.

"No. I'm not. As you said, I do intend to kill a boy. You see, I have killed many people in the past too, too many to count and to remember. And, if you would like to know more, you could ask some of your colleagues who work under you, they seem to know my name quite well. Shinigami. Have you heard of this codename? I go by this name when I receive jobs and I do have a good reputation. I have gotten rid of some uncooperative people to pave your way to the top."

"I see. And should I thank you?" This time it was Cagalli who was sarcastic. She would not fall into his trap, his change of topic, she wanted to stop this person not talk to him.

"You are different. You know about the contract killings?"

"Do I need to know? My people are loyal to me, and if they choose to do what they have done, I will bear the consequences. But right now, I have no intention of talking to you about my past. I'm trying to stop you to prevent the future."

"What future? Who's future?" Athrun laughed harshly, as his emerald eyes glittered with a maniacal glee that Cagalli thought was not quite sane. He repeated, "Like I said, how are you about to do that?"

_Why am I goading her? Why am I exposing myself to this girl? Why am I doing things that I normally would not do?!_

Athrun pushed away his running thoughts, not wanting to figure out the answers, he did not want to think. He just wanted to fall back to old patterns and be rid of this woman who claimed that she could stop him from killing.

_If only she could. Maybe I have a chance to a normal life…if only…she could…._

"Then stop talking and show me." Athrun threw the final challenge before disappearing before Cagalli's astounded own eyes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Lacus Clyne walked leisurely in her garden, pausing a little while to admire the red roses that were in full bloom. Lifting her head to take a deep breath when the slight warm wind blew, she felt the few loose strands of her ponytail stir and dance with the wind. It was a beautiful day, the morning had given way to the more humid afternoon sun, but she enjoyed the feeling of the sun rays dance upon her skin. She had not been able to walk under the sun for such a long time. Opening her mouth to sing and closing her gray eyes, Lacus allowed herself that one thing that allowed her to relax.

_haruka na hoshizora ni yume wa mada miemasu ka?_

_osanai ano hi yori azayaka desu ka? _

(Can you still see your dreams in the distant, starry sky?)

(Are they more vivid than they were when you were little? )

_mune ni afurete tsunoru omoi_

_nemuri wasurete jounetsu no iro_

(When one forgets to put the emotions that overflow in her heart)

(to rest, they burn the color of passion. )

_tatoe tookute mo kitto tadoritsukeru tsuyoku shinjite'ta_

_ano hi no watashi ga ima mo kokoro de nemutte-iru _

(I used to believe without a doubt that I could reach my dreams, no matter how far off they were.)

(But that me from long ago now sleeps inside my heart. )

_GARASU no bara yori mo hakanakute moroi no ni_

_yume miru koto wa naze sadame na no deshou _

(Dreams are more fragile and fleeting than a glass rose,

so then why are we destined to dream? )

"Lacus – sama…." Yukito's gentle voice broke through Lacus's sad song and Lacus stopped, her closed eyes still not opening as she allowed the frustration and worry flow through her and hoping it to go away with the wind. Yukito could feel his heart fracturing when he looked at the sadness and weariness that was on Lacus's face. He wished he had the courage to speak up, the bravery that Lacus had when she was facing her problems, but he knew he could not. Ishida Toshiro had a stronger hold on him that he ever gave him credit for.

" _You want to tell her? You want to tell her what Yukito? No matter what you say you won't be able to do that to me. You don't want me to disappear. In that heart of yours, you hope that Lacus Clyne would disappear instead of me…you know why? Because you love me, you want me here, you think that if enough time passed, I would be the one I had been before and that I would come back to you….I know that that is what you think. What's more…Lacus would never believe what you have to say. She would tell you that you were crazy. Anybody would say that when you tell them what you should tell her."_

Yukito gritted his teeth as that particular memory washed through him, he hated that insufferable man, that man who was so near yet so far away. His confidence wounded Yukito even more than his threats. Ishida needed him no more than he needed the next man. He was always an island that could survive on his own while Yukito was nothing. Even before, when the honey promises, the sweet nothings were spoken, he was nothing. He was never the sweetheart, never the lover, only the plaything that was always around when the master called. The puppet that danced when the puppeteer pulled his strings.

"Lacus sama…I have..something to tell you…" Yukito blurted out before he could stop himself.

Sighing inwardly when nothing went away, not her problems, not her worries, nothing except the ever turning time, she turned around, surrendering to her fate that came with her birth, "Yes Yukito? What is it that you needed to tell me?" She asked gently.

Yukito looked away, not daring to look into that pair of clear grey eyes that looked through him, afraid that those eyes were able to find those lies that he had been telling, finding that truth that he had been hiding all these while, always letting his friend run through circles and riddles that she could never undo.

"Yukito?"

_Please, why are you so gentle? Why don't you suspect that there is something wrong? Why do you have to make me feel so guilty? Why?! Why are you the same as that evil man! Why?!_

"I'm sorry Lacus – sama." Yukito stalled, clearing his throat, trying to pull himself together and reporting what he was supposed to report. "It's time for that teleconference you have with the new Representative of Orb. They have come to a decision."

"I see." She answered curtly before turning her back from the peaceful scenery and walking back into the tendrils of darkness.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"Greetings, Representative of Orb." The cold voice spoke. "It seems that what you have planned did go accordingly, you have gotten rid of that golden hair lioness that you so despised."

"Yes. And we have come to a decision that I know that you would much appreciate."

"Oh..? Really? Well then amuse me."

"You really are an evil man Ishida Toshiro…."

"Get to the point Montage Dirge, you know I have to patience."

"I understand. We will agree to PLANTs terms. Your terms."

"Why so sudden? Cagalli Yula Athha had more backbone than you."

"Don't throw insults to the man who is willing to follow you."

"You are just a spy that I have put in Orb. You are nothing."

"…."

"But…you deserve some praise for getting it done without delay. And yes, I will keep the side of the bargain. You give me Orb I give you power."

"What about Lacus Clyne? What are you to do with her? She does not know about your plan yet right?"

"You mind your own business and I mind mine. Do not tell me what to do when you have no right to do so."

"…."

"Well then…keep up the pretence when you talk to her."

"But..I have already talked..to.."

"Shut up Montage if you understand what is best for you."

"I'm sorry."

"Good. Now then, I bid you a good day."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Monatge Dirge stared disgustedly at the empty screen. He could not find the words to describe the amount of anger, the hatred he had for the person whom he had been talking to earlier.

_His spy?! Nothing?! What did that crazy thing think it was? Not here nor there..crazy bastard.._

Montage straightened his tie as he stood up from his comfortable chair in order to straighten out the kink in his leg that he had put there himself when he had to refrain himself from kicking a hole in his expensive wooden desk. He paced the room like a caged tiger and wondered what he had gotten himself into. It was true he hated Cagalli, he thought that girls should just stay home and quietly be a man's slave rather than rule over Orb, but right now, it was no different. He was still under somebody else's thumb, a person even more dangerous and crazy than the idealistic Cagalli.

"Bastard…" He muttered under his breath before settling himself back into his earlier position when a blue light started blinking, indicating yet another incoming call.

_Crazy bastard…_

* * *

Author's note: The song that Lacus sang was the opening song for "Ayashi no ceres" named Scarlet. I do not own that song. What would Cagalli do to Athrun? What would she find out? What is the secret that Yukito was hiding all this while that Lacus would never believe? The spy Montage, will he stay true to his so called master? And why did he keep calling him a crazy bastard which was not here nor there? The rest is coming up and I appreciate everything you throw to me. 


	21. Contradictions

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty One

(...) is Cagalli Yula Athha's thoughts

((...)) is Athrun Zala's consciouness.

... is Athrun Zala's inner self.

Contradictions

Stunned. Disbelief. Shocked. What else could you feel when a person literally disappears into thin air?

"What the hell?" Cagalli Yula Athha gasped out loud before stars burst out in her vision and pain flared out in her head. A small cry of pain escaped her lips as she stumbled from the hard blow. Instinctively, she held out her hands to grasp onto anything to stabilize herself and to break her fall. She knew without a doubt that this was the doings of that raven haired teenager and she dismayed at the fact that he was so strong. The blow to her head could have killed a Natural, and she was thankful for her slightly better than average genes as she felt her vision swim and surroundings spin. The bright flare of pain had receded to a dull throb but the dizziness from that blow followed doggedly after her and darkness that threatened to claim her as their own influenced her judgment.

"You are still standing." Athrun Zala said coldly, stating a fact, yet inside he was puzzling over his failure. Why? Why again? Without a doubt, he was certain that blow had been accurate, he had been aiming for that vulnerable part yet, why was she still standing? How could she still stand? Under normal circumstances and past experiences, the victims would have been out like a light, unconscious. So what had he done wrong this time? First Kira Yamato now this woman. Both of them had no special powers, they were normal, they were just human. They were obviously unlike him. He clearly had the advantage so what happened?! His emerald green eyes watched Cagalli like a hawk as he mulled over the all important question.

_It's your fault for playing around, for allowing yourself to think of the possibility that they would be able to save you. You have softened Athrun Zala. You have allowed your need to have a different future dim your eyes and still your hand. Finish this and be done with the whole assignment. Patrick Zala have given you orders. _

"What are you?!" Cagalli gritted out between her teeth when she finally caught sight of the expressionless teenager as she forced herself upright and pushed away thoughts of fainting. Cagalli understood grimly the dire situation she was in and thus, had no time to pretend to be the damsel in distress, nor even if she wanted, was there anybody around to save her. Cagalli watched him watching her as he stood in the shadows, right beside a box of crates that towered over his deceptively slender physique in the alleyway. Thankful now for the iron fencing that separated another part of the neighbourhood and this alleyway, Cagalli gingerly let go of the fencing that she had been using as her support, wincing as she did so at the ever spinning world.

"Does it matter?" Athrun replied nonchalantly, his mind made up. He was going to finish this within the next move.

"Yes it matters, you are still human." Cagalli said seriously, her amber eyes boring holes into Athrun's emerald ones. Cagalli was surprised at her own answer but did not dwell long on it, she did not know what prompted her to say what she just did, but the effect on Athrun was obvious.

"Am I?" Athrun whispered, looking at his clean hands, yet in his mind, they were dripping with fresh blood. He could smell that metallic stench, feel its seductive warmness. Was he still human? Was he? He had grown used to killing, he might even love the thrill. Was it his fault to be so fickle? Or was it because of Patrick Zala? Did that still make him human? To love taking other's life? Athrun forced his attention away from his hands, from the imaginary blood, focusing instead on the girl who had so easily broken through this mask of his for so many years. What was happening to him? Why was he turning weak? Athrun could not understand, he did not want to understand. It was not time. There still was so many things to be done in order to be finally free, why did God want to play him so? Why?!

Cagalli looked on enthralled by the fleeting emotions on Athrun's face. The confusion, the disgust, and finally the pain, she wanted to comfort him but did not know how. He looked like a lost boy, part of her thought, but the other part reminded her that he was no boy, he was the assassin that was about to kill not only Kira Yamato in the future but her right now, in the present. "Yes you are still human, no matter what others tell you otherwise. Everybody deserves a chance, but if you are given a chance, you have to take it. You are the only one who can change your own destiny." It was the politician in her, the diplomatic side that was reasserting itself now in this situation, she was not equipped to fight then she would try to talk her way out of it. Cagalli wanted to live.

"You are wrong Cagalli Yula Athha. There are no second chances for the likes of me." Athrun said, his tone revealing nothing, yet when Cagalli looked into his eyes, she could see the pain, the sadness that dwelt into those orbs. Cagalli felt her heart break for this teenager, so young yet so lost of hope and devoid of his future. It could have been so bright, she thought sadly, as she watched his expressionless mask come back into place, the eyes no longer a mirror to his soul, but twin chips of cold flint. This was the people she should have been able to protect with her power. This was Orb, a country that was supposed to be a place where people could live with hope, not death. She had failed so much as a leader, it was sobering. She truly had thought too highly of herself and lost contact with the real world outside her world of bitching and politics.

Almost desperately, Cagalli blurted out, "Then give me a chance to prove myself right! If you can't do it, let me do it for you!" Cagalli did not know whether this was her plea to live or a plea to help him. She too, was confused. He was the killer that was going to kill her brother, he was the killer that was going to take away something precious from her, yet he was the boy who has no future, who has no hope. Cagalli lifted a trembling hand out to Athrun, wanting her words to reach him. In her vision, Kira had been so heartbroken, Athrun torn apart, she wanted to help the both of them, there had to be another way she could go to prevent all those from happening except to kill this boy. The vision she had spoke volumes of the feelings that the both shared between them, it was love, it was admiration, it was friendship, but most of all it was the need to protect that tore both of them apart when the knife came down.

Taken aback by the ferociousness of Cagalli's response, Athrun felt his conviction waver, tempted by the promises that came out of her mouth. Was it possible? Could he put his hope in her hands? Could it be that easy? Hope, so long gone and buried, started to kindle itself, the dead ashes in his heart trying to relight, he wanted to believe her, it was good to be able to, yet, he had given up trying to prove that he was still human. Guilt was pulling him into the darkness that was his soul. When had he last trusted anybody to protect much less try to save him like this girl was professing she do for him? Athrun wanted to force back these hope, he had enough disappointments to know what it tasted like- bitter, sour, painful. Yet, with her compassionate eyes, he wanted to believe her. He truly wanted to. But…

"I'm sorry." Athrun said, his words soft, almost gentle, yet being pushed forcefully out and into Cagalli's ears. He gave her a few seconds to digest his words, its meanings, and when her amber eyes widened at the implication, he disappeared and all Cagalli felt afterwards was the sudden burst of light and then falling into absolute nothingness.

_I should have been able to help._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Yzak Joule had not known pain until the past two days. First waking up with it and now, having to live with it. Klueze was not a gentle teacher, in fact he was one of the worst, no scratch that, he is the worst. Yzak glared angrily from under the shock of silver hair that had flopped in front of his eyes at the smirking culprit. Yet, undeniably, Klueze is a first class fighter, cunning, cool headed, opportunistic. Klueze had forbidden Yzak to use his powers, and had arranged for yet another training session about it. His reasoning was that he did not want Yzak to have to rely on his special abilities too much, which was reasonable. Yzak understood Klueze's concern, the less people understood about his abilities, the better, he did not want, nor need the pinching, probing and experiments that scientists would bring. Rough, plasticized, cold rubbery hands that touched places Yzak held private and confidential were not to be repeated. Ever.

"Tired little lady?" Klueze taunted as he circled Yzak like a hawk, watching, waiting for the opening. Yzak's only main weakness was his temper, otherwise, he was good, no better than good. He was fast on his feet, had quick thinking, and he had the moves to kill from living on the streets. It was a challenge for him and that, he liked. But, he was far from being able to win, no, he was still a long way from it. Klueze felt a niggling sense of guilt, he did not want this teenager to give away his life, there's only two more days before the ultimate fight with Athrun Zala. He was not ready, Yzak is not ready, there would be no fighting chance if this continued. He wanted to tell the teenager to give it up, he wanted to give up his own dreams, but, he held back. Selfish he knew, but that was humans. He could not give it up, he could not, not when everything he had dreamt of was so near.

"Shut up and let's continue." Yzak snapped irritated, not wanting to admit that he was indeed fatigued. His whole body felt like lead, his arms, his legs, all did not want to move, much less fight. He yearned for a bed, a hot meal, and to just sleep the pain and tiredness away, yet, he pushed on. He had a dream to make, he had something to aim for. He could read the uncertainty Klueze did not realise he was revealing when he spoke to Yzak, he could understand through these small nuances that he was still not good enough. Athrun, through the description of Klueze was not going to be am easy opponent. In fact, he might be the death of Yzak if he was not careful. However, these small facts did not bother Yzak, instead, it just motivated him to push more, he wanted to prove that he was better than this ideal fighting machine, this Athrun Zala who could kill in the blink of an eye. He wanted to prove that he was more than an experiment.

Pushing hard on the floor with his palms, Yzak stood up stiffly, disallowing himself to even stagger a little. Feeling his tongue around for any broken teeth, he winced inwardly when he touched a raw spot in his inner cheek and frowned when he recognized that awful metallic taste. Spitting it out like a curse, Yzak was glad to be rid of it, though he knew without a doubt that before another few minutes ended, he would be getting a whole mouthful of that taste again. Wiping away the traces with the back of his hand, he glared at Klueze, his silver eyes burning, a feral grin stretching his lips.

The previous thought made him want to sing. A mouthful of blood? He would be damned if he would allow Klueze to do it again. It was a challenge but he loved challenges. Yes, indeed he was tired, but when in his whole life had he not felt tired? And so what? A human's body was made to withstand much more. He snickered slightly to himself. Whenever he was fighting, when his punches or kicks connected, he felt more alive than ever, even with the pain but especially with the pain. Contradictive? He wanted it to all go away, the pain, his currently useless life, but he wanted it to stay real even more than he wanted it to go away. Being real meant everything and life was all about contradiction. Who lived without it? Only in his case, it was life or death. It was undeniably in his blood, this, fighting.

"Don't regret this old man." He snarled before he launched himself towards Klueze who dodged easily.

"You are so predictable." Klueze sneered in return and countered with a punch to the stomach. Yzak's grin widened when as he blocked it and returned the favour. His muscles were screaming for him to stop, his bruises and wounds threatened to increase, yet, all of their pathetic whining faded into silence, into the background. Exchanging blows, both of them could forget about the past and the future, only to concentrate on the present. To the both of them, it was like a dance, a dangerous one, but explosively beautiful at the same time. The kicks, the punches, the blocks, the pain. It was like poison, intoxicating and addictive. Poison that burnt yet thrilled at the same time. The reason was simple, it was because to the both of them, this was what it felt to feel alive, to feel the adrenaline that flowed through their blood and gave them that ultimate high without taking drugs. Yzak could feel even behind the mask Klueze was enjoying this, yet at the same time, he could also sense that Klueze was also holding back and Yzak could guess that certain reason.

He was doubtful that Yzak had it in him to kill.

Yzak did not want to think about it now, but he could not block away that thought especially now since it was somehow lodged itself in his brain. He did not know how to feel if it ever came to that. Could he push away his morals and push down the knife intentionally? Could he? Would he? There was no beauty in killing, it was just go in and get the job done. It would no longer be a simple case of self defence, the knife or gun, any weapon would be brought down with the intention to kill. With every stroke, he knew, his conscience would dim and soon he would end up like those cold hearted, ruthless bastards that he had seen on the streets. The price of losing his sanity to the darkness in exchange for the money, the fame, the privilege that came with being the prize. Could he do all that? Yzak hated all these questions, it made him think, it made him hesitate. Hesitating was bad, one second too late and he would no longer need to think. He had been caught up in that kind of situations before, one he did not want nor care to remember. Moreover, he knew that Klueze could see his weakness like he could see Klueze's. Klueze knew without a doubt that Yzak still had not made up his mind and that made that made him weak.

"_You are weak."_

"No…" He choked out, as the barriers in his head collapsed all of a sudden and flashes of memories he did not want to see pushed through his barriers like mercury, slinking past those walls he put up with total ease and the crazed, cruel eyes of the scientists that relished his screams came into mind.

It had been quite awhile since then. Those monsters, he last remembered, had been putting him through another series of tests of theirs, some were emotionless, some were mildly interested in the results, some sadistic bastards wanted Yzak to hurt, their maniac grins and calculating cold eyes that glittered with unsuppressed mirth and glee at every silent scream, every struggle. These were the images that still gave him nightmares.

That day, those bastards had been in a particular harsh meeting, where fingers pointed everywhere and arrows flew to their intended targets in abundance. They were angry and frustrated and as a consequence, Yzak suffered. They had been drunk, an offence on its own, when they came into the lab. One of them, a particularly nasty species, had suggested jokingly how well Yzak could heal. He knew of course, how Yzak hated the scalpels, those small yet terrifyingly sharp metal that glinted under the harsh fluorescent light. The others had whopped and agreed wholeheartedly. Yzak had not wanted to plead, had not wanted to whimper, nor cower in fright, but the pain he knew would be too much to bear. Nonetheless, pleading with those madmen had no effect whatsoever.

"You are weak…" They had laughed as he struggled.

In the end, also because of their own carelessness aided by their drunken stupor, they had forgotten the safety precautions, the collar that kept Yzak docile and suppressed his mutated genes that enabled him to use his so called powers. In that red mad haze combined with the never ending pain, Yzak had struck back and squeezed every drop of life from those scientists. He had escaped, with nobody any the wiser, bleeding like a pig all over the sterile floor, but making it out.

"What's wrong little lady?" Klueze's voice suddenly broke through Yzak, "You are dreaming.." He whispered into his ear, too much into Yzak's personal space and definitely too near for Yzak to launch any attack to be efficient. However, the same could not be said for Klueze as he had Yzak where he wanted him to be. Yzak raised his hands to defend his throat, but he was too late.

_Kuso!_

"Your defence is down boy. Do you think you can survive in the ring for a mere one minute with Athrun like that? You would find your throat slit and you dead without you even knowing it." Klueze's voice was soft, almost gentle, yet what he said held a chilling edge to it, freezing Yzak to the bone. His words were as sharp as a knife, cutting through Yzak's remaining dream haze, reminding him of how stupid his previous actions were by letting down his guard.

"Do you want to die that much?" Kluze whispered sweetly into Yzak's ear as he tightened his hold on Yzak's pale throat, slowly choking him. "Do not waste both our time if you cannot make up your mind. Fight like you have no tomorrow. No distractions. No daydreaming. Got it?" Klueze smiled behind his mask, yet that smile held no emotion, merely a pulling of cheek muscles as he allowed Yzak to struggle more, as if about to prove a point.

Yzak could feel himself leaving the ground, his legs a few inches away as Klueze slowly raised him using that one hand around his throat, regardless of Yzak's weight.

_Bakemono. Monster. What the hell are you?! _

Yzak tried to think, tried to use his legs to kick and even though each of them landed on Klueze it was as if kicking air with no reaction whatsoever from Klueze. He tried to press the pressure points on Klueze's hands but he had no extra strength to do so, every bit of it draining away with each untaken breath.

_Kuso!__ How can somebody be so inhumanely strong?!_

"You are not fit to fight." Klueze whispered harshly into Yzak's ear before throwing him across the room. Yzak landed painfully on his side, sliding a few more feet before stopping spread-eagled in the middle of the room. His breath knocked out, every bruise and new wound now demanded his attention, his mental and physical state in tattered shreds from the new onslaught of insults and moves Klueze had released on him. He wanted to get up and continue, but nothing this time listened to him, the adrenaline from before gone. His whole body felt as if he had been put through a shredder and glued unevenly back. He felt as if a whole two tonne truck mowed over him like road kill, yet, no matter how painful everything was, what he truly felt at that time was the ever mounting sense of failure as he watched through his peripheral vision Klueze walking away without a scratch on him.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

_(Am I dead?)_

_(Where is this? Why can I hear laughter?)_

_"Mama! Look! Look!" _

_ "Athrun! Don't run too far!" _

_ "Mama! Look at that! It's so beautiful!" _

_ It's a sakura tree Athrun." _

_ It looks so peaceful, mama!" _

_ "Yes it is. Whenever you loose hope, dream of the sakura trees, they will help you find your way and your loved one." _

_ "How mama?" _

_ "You'll know someday. _

_(Whose memories are these? Why does that woman feel so sad? Who is Athrun?) _

_(Emerald green eyes and raven hair.)_

_(He's name is Athrun? He's so happy here, what happened?)_

_((What are you doing here?! GET OUT!))_

_(I don't understand. What is happening?)_

_((GET OUT OF MY MIND! GET OUT!))_

_ Let me lead you Cagalli Yula Athha, let me lead you to the future that I have. _

_(What do you mean?) _

_Follow me. _

_(Stop! Stop!)_

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Cagalli Yula Athha woke up crying. The tears slid down her face like a dam broken. She wanted to howl, she wanted to scream. Her eyes looked frantically for the teenager - she knew his name now - Athrun Zala. The voice, those images, the shouts of distress, she did not know she not only could see the future, she could look into someone's past as well. Time meant nothing to her, only in the most important aspects. Her haunted amber eyes searched the shadows for the shadow himself. "What have he done to you?" She whispered brokenly, no longer able to think about the next step, she had started out wanting to stop this Athrun from killing her brother, but now, she did not know what she could do. Athrun was a victim as well, his past so dark and black, there was nowhere he could turn in order to find the light.

_Even sakura trees could not help him now._

"You have seen too much." A low growl which did nothing to hide the suppressed panic in Athrun's voice slipped into her ears. No how did you do it. No why did you do it, just a statement of fear and acceptance of the bare fact in front of him. Cagalli's head whipped around to search for the sound but she could see nothing. Her head had started to pound, the disorientation from being in somebody's mind before being thrown out forcefully making it even harder to concentrate.

"I can help you!" She screamed into the dark, this time not because of self preservation, but because she truly wanted to save him, ignoring the bright spots that had suddenly appeared in her vision and the slow churning of her stomach contents.

"How can you help somebody who is damned? I just need to do that one last thing and I will be free. I can be free." Athrun replied, his answer cryptic and ominous yet so pitifully sad and filled with that small glimmer of hope. Cagalli felt her heart break more when she heard that barely concealed need in the last sentence, she wanted so desperately to believe that he could indeed be free from the clutches of Patrick Zala but…

"How can you be free when you are somebody else's belonging? How can you be free when you have to kill so much more in order to gain your freedom?!" She did not want to break his fragile bubble of misplaced hope, but she had to. She had to make him realise that there was no way out if he continued to walk the path that was chosen by his so called father and not him.

"What can you do to help me then, Cagalli Yula Athha. You and your precious words mean nothing to me. Like you said I have murdered so many and there are plans to murder more, including your precious twin brother, to me those lives are nothing. I feel nothing. I don't know them and I only know what I have to do to survive. Strip me away from that and what else do I have? Sanity? My conscience?" A harsh brittle laugh filled the air before Athrun continued, "I'm an assassin Cagalli. I have nothing for me. Death? It would be too easy. I have harboured so much hope. Even foolishly tried to believe that everything would be all right, your words touched me, made me want to live for something else, but what is there more for me?"

"You realise from my memories that you have seen that I have grown to love the blood, the power when it comes to controlling people's life and death. You have seen those murders, and they horrify you. You cannot accept that maybe, maybe I do not want to be saved…"

"But, if you don't want to be saved, then why those words you whispered to Kira? You are contradicting yourself Athrun. You want to be free yet, you are afraid. What are you so scared of? Why can't you for once decide what you want and not blame your misfortune on somebody else? You want to be able to live in the light, you want to be able to finally human, so why the self pity and the "I cannot do it attitude?! Find Kira with me. You said he holds the key. He can help you. I can bring you to him!"

"Are you then not contradicting yourself? You wanted to stop me from killing your twin, and now, now you are taking me to him? What do you want Cagalli? Have I made your mothering instincts rise? Do you want to protect the already damned? Is that it? You can be so naïve and stupid ex-Representative. You think you can protect everyone, but there are people who cannot be protected, refuse to be so. I am one of them."

_Why am I talking so much? Why am I trying to say things that are meant to be kept secret? Why these feelings of anger? Of fear? Why are my hands shaking? Trembling? _

"Listen to yourself Athrun. Where have the cool headed merciless assassin disappeared to? Where have the dispassionate robot gone? You are shouting at me on the top of your voice, trying to convince me what you cannot even convince yourself. You asked me if I was afraid that you would kill my twin brother, I am. I still am but I trust you, because you did not kill him the first time even if you could, but instead, you whispered…"

"Shut up!"

"You said that…"

"Shut up!"

"He can help you Athrun!" Cagalli shouted, exasperated. The tears had long dried up, the nausea under control, now what she wanted was to drive some sense into the thick skull of Athrun. She had not forgotten his lethal skills nor wanted to antagonize him, but she was not one to stay cool long enough to think about her words or how to rephrase them to not ostracise somebody. It had always been a bad habit of hers to say what she wanted when she wanted and not bother about the consequences. It would be the death of her one day sooner or later, but hopefully that one day would be later and not sooner, especially not now. She was pissed and she wanted Athrun to know it.

_I want her to help me. I can believe her words. Maybe…_

"There is no more help for the likes of me." Athrun said before he disappeared but not before Cagalli caught the real words that he left like a whisper in the wind.

_"Help me if you can…this will be your only chance to stop me."_

"I will Athrun Zala. I will. This is my pledge to you."

………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………….

Yzak Joule truly felt like an idiot as he tried to come to terms with his own failure. His eyes continued to stare blankly at the ceiling of where he had been thrown onto his back from before and had not even bothered getting up. He was angry at himself, at the world but could do nothing about it. He was so caught up in his own thoughts that he failed to notice that Klueze had come in again. It was not until something fell onto his face that he angrily returned back to his present self.

_To hell with this training, I should just use my powers. _

" Are you still going to lie there forever? You are wasting your own time."

"What is it to you? Like you said, it is my time."

"You are starting to sound like a petulant small kid."

"Make up your mind will you? First I'm a little lady, then a small kid. Call me something new if you can't fix it."

Klueze chuckled at his Yzak's last remark which made Yzak even madder. "What the hell is your problem?! What the hell is your game? Are you back here because of pity?"

"You can never beat me if you don't intend to kill me."

"What?!"

"You heard me."

"Are you nuts?"

"This is the extreme that you have to be willing to go if you want to fight."

"Screw you."

"You know what I'm talking about. You know exactly why."

"Then you should not hold back." Yzak said suddenly, changing the subject that they were on abruptly surprising Klueze who had not even realised he was doing so. "You should not worry about my consequence, just yours. Don't pity me, I do not need it."

"Don't get me wrong Yzak. Pity? I don't know you at all, don't think too highly of yourself. There are too many young teens out there with stars in their eyes, wanting fame and fortune without wanting to work for it. I don't pity you. I don't even think I care. But, you are right, I will only worry about my consequence. But do you even understand what you are getting yourself into?" Kluze asked, his tone soft, yet so serious. He had not expected the teen to pick up on his emotions that accurately, which he himself had not even knew about it. Yzak which had scrambled to his feet moments before the start of the conversation, stopped before staring at the other man with clear blue eyes, eyes that were cold but not dead. There was still the flame going there, still alive. This young teenager had seen a lot, even maybe some dead bodies, but he had yet to go down that road of no return.

"Yes." Yzak replied back, equally solemn, no longer sarcastic. He understood and knew what he had to sacrifice in order to succeed. Hard work and tenacity here is no longer relevant. Klueze wanted him to understand that and he did.

"You will never be able to turn back. This is the only lesson that I can teach you. Within these three days, you will never be as good as Athrun, the only reason and the most important, is because Athrun has already given up his own sanity for the man he works for. He no longer walks the path of the righteous or even the path of the living. He is just a tool, a machine for no other better word. He has no emotions, no guilt, no regret, no remorse. He is nothing human, just another dead man walking, a killing machine who had been created specifically for that purpose only. Emotions that you have will just drag you down, people you love, they are liabilities, nothing more nothing less. "

"Athrun is different from you, he is someone another had created for the sake of killing, therefore he knows nothing other than that. He has no life before, he has none now, and definitely nothing waiting for him in the future. He is that successful because he has nothing to hold him back. Do you want to become someone like him? Because if you do, you will have to throw everything that you hold dear away, nothing can be close to you. Nothing! Not your friends, not your family, nobody. It will be a lonely road, never once will you ever feel anything except the despair that you have to go through. Are you ready to sacrifice all these?"

"Are you ready to feel nothing, look at nothing but blood, hear other people's cry for mercy and face the wrath of those family members that you had to make suffer? Are you ready for those consequences Yzak? Can you stand all those and not go insane? There will never be light for your day anymore, just never ending darkness and pain."

Yzak blinked, as unwanted images of Dearkka took over the memories of those scientists.

_Dearkka. _

_Dearkka smiling, laughing, grinning, shouting at him._

"_Don't worry. Wherever you go I will follow."_

"_I love you."_

Yzak felt that almost familiar pang again, the tugging and tightening of the chest that he experienced every time he thought of that blonde haired daredevil with violet eyes, his throat constricting so tight he wondered if he could ever breathe again as those last few minutes he had before he had turned away from Dearkka replayed itself. He remembered so clearly the betrayal in those eyes, the pain, the hurt. He missed Dearkka. He wanted to see Dearkka. Yzak violently pushed away those thoughts, yet, he wondered, not for the first time, where Dearkka was, what he was doing, and was he missing Yzak as much as Yzak was missing him, no matter how much he did not want to admit.

Yzak felt Klueze watching him, felt him analysing the thoughts that were going through Yzak's head. He wanted to hide and ask him to go away and allow him his privacy, but he had to face it one day or another. Would he be able to give up that sanity, a life without Dearkka and his companionship? Because, Yzak knew, that with somebody beside him, and an important one at that, he would be endangering not only his life, but Dearkka's too. To become famous for the wrong reasons, the people around him would suffer. They would get hurt. Which was why Yzak had pushed Dearkka away, he had wanted a better life, he wanted something more that just living. He had picked wealth of the pocket more than wealth of the heart. There should not be a question on what he would pick right now, so why the indecision? Why the pain that distracts every time he wants to walk down that path?

_You no longer have the privilege to have a choice. You were the first to walk away._

"You do have somebody you cherish don't you?" Klueze stated making Yzak start. Yzak narrowed his eyes, trying to figure out what was going on in Klueze's head, brain racing forward for a response that would not put Dearkka into danger from this madman.

Klueze stared amusedly at Yzak, at his easily readable expression of suspicion and wariness, he wanted to laugh, he so wanted to if he could remember how. The image in his head had always laughed, had always been happy till he walked away. Remembering those that he did not want to remember, he pushed them all away and instead, spoke again to the silver haired teen, "Do not worry, I will not hurt that person of yours. You will be the one who will be doing the hurting."

"I do not have someone with me." Yzak said coldly, yet knowing he was fooling no one with his defensiveness.

"I know, not in that sense you don't. But you hold him here." Klueze said, patting the part where the heart resided in his body. "He does not need to be near you at all."

"What the hell do you want." Yzak gritted out, not used to this Klueze, this sudden change of attitude which made him almost sad, almost understanding. Klueze, since the beginning of the time that he had known him, had been flamboyant, had been cruel, taunting, almost to the point of being insufferable. He was one manipulative bastard that would never back down from what he wants until he gets it and now, he was advising Yzak, allowing him a way out before everything became too late.

"What do I want?" Klueze asked back, his tone recovering, a taunt more to himself than to Yzak. "I have nothing that I want, the most important thing is what YOU want. Do you think you will go into this unscathed? Don't be so naïve or stupid Yzak. You will never come out without becoming insane. The nightmares will consume you, they will never stop haunting you.. and the thing that you want will no longer be around, no longer be accessible."

_Like mine._

"You came down the same path as I have." Realisation dawning, Yzak spoke almost in surprise, he had never thought that this man, this cold man who hid behind a mask would have a past which he could not forget. Did he want to end up like this man? A man searching for a way out, desperate enough to put his hopes in a young, screwed up teen who have dreams of making it big.

"Yes. I have. I lost so much and now when I want it back, there will be no way I can do so. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you? You have other ways to go, you can be whatever you want if you are willing to work for it, maybe you will start at the bottom, but you are capable, you are bright and you are young. Why choose this point of no return?"

"You were the one who offered me this path, why are you regretting it now, huh? Your lost sense of guilt? Your so called long dead conscience coming back to life? No wait…are you feeling sorry for me? When did you parental urges come along and pinch you in the butt?!" Yzak sneered back, he did not want to think about all those questions, thinking about it made him restless, made him miss Dearkka, made him…like this. Like a woman. He hated it. And so he fought tooth and nail with the part of him who wanted to go back. To hell with all those unneeded emotions. Klueze was right on one part. He was still young. He is indestructible.

_He won't listen. Yzak is like what I've been in the past. Stubborn. Questioning my logic. This is my payback for treating her like that. _

And if this is what he wants…."Then… be prepared to kill the one you love." He left that one final sentence before walking away. This is the only thing that could stop Yzak now. If he was willing to do that, he would truly be free of the bondage of having somebody to go home to at the end of the day. If he was able to let go….like me.

_Brown hair and brown eyes._

Pushing away the image that was threatening to form, Klueze turned his back away for the second time from the teen that was still fuming, still confused. He did not want to say anything anymore. It was up to the teen to decide his own future. As long as both of them got what they want, then everything would be worth it. Everything would be worth it….

If only.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Kira Yamato looked up into the distance. He knew without a doubt that his twin sister had made the journey and was about to step figuratively and literally into his life. He knew nothing about her but there was no apprehension, no reluctance for this feisty blonde that was his long lost relative. In fact, they might be good for each other and most importantly, if she had some knowledge on what was about to happen. Patrick Zala, Athrun Zala, Yvette, all of these people played a role in the near future, yet he could not figure out what it was. He knew that he was created by Meng sensei to be the one who stops Patrick's mad plan, this much he was certain, but in what way he had no idea. He had telekinesis, the power to move things with his mind but what so interesting or useful this power can be?

"I'm just a freak experiment that succeeded that's all." Kira muttered to himself, flicking his finger slightly before a rock a slight distance away from him jumped to life and flung itself into the nearby tree.

"You are not a freak experiment." Nicol Amalfi's voice broke through Kira's dark musings, startling the other young teen who had been that absorbed in himself.

"Yes..none of us are freak experiments." A new voice joined in the conversation uninvited. Kira knew without needing to turn his head who the newcomer was.

"Welcome Cagalli Yula Athha….twin sister of mine." He said, his throat constricting at the end of the sentence, nearly making him unable to speak properly. He had been waiting for her and now that she was here, he did not know what he could say. Kira's hands were trembling with the emotions he felt inside, he was excited, apprehensive, glad, upset, he was so many emotions all at the same time and he did not know what to do with them. His voice was calm when he greeted her but when he got up and turned to face his sister, his violet eyes revealed to her what his calm voice did not. His violet eyes drank in his sister, her profile, her everything. He looked at her from top till toe, trying to remember this first time he was seeing her in person, in front of him in both their realities. Her blonde hair was tied at the nape of her neck, still wild and wavy but tamed for the moment, her amber eyes looking at him so eagerly, yet holding herself back with a constraint that was befitting someone with status. She was a matured woman who had seen much and was willing to fight for the things that she held dear to her heart.

"Kira Yamato." She replied, equally overwhelmed. Yes they had met. Yet, under those circumstances, they had not spoken much. Under those circumstances, their actions had spoken much more than words. Saving another's life was saying a lot on how much they meant to each other, even if they had not known each other before then. Cagalli stepped forward, suddenly unsure, should she hug him? Should she just shake hands? What did normal long lost brother and sisters do? What do they say? Hello? Hi? I miss you? What?!

In the end, fate intertwined and both of them had ended up knocking into each other, Kira tripping on his feet, something that had never happened before while Cagalli wanting to stop him from falling had crashed into him and both of them had their arms around each other before the whole incident was over. Their hug had been so incidental yet, to them it meant so much. It was their first hug, their first meeting and no matter what the cause that had brought them together, what was important was that they were together. They were a family again.

Hinata Yui looked on with tears in her eyes, she had not seen Cagalli look so happy for such a long time. Kira, her twin, did not seem threatening and the emotions both of them were displaying were hard to imitate without truly feeling them. Hinata did not understand the pang that was in her heart, she was glad at the same time, she was sad. Hinata had been such an integral part of Cagalli's life, she did not know if she could cope if Cagalli somehow told her to go back to her old life on her own. She was happy for Cagalli, yet she was still human, she too needed to feel like she belonged somewhere. Pushing those selfish thoughts aside, Hinata continued to observe their surroundings and the people that came with the picture. Until Cagalli had no more use for her, she would continue what she does best. Protect the sister that she never had. Noticing the other teen which was standing behind Kira, his warm smile and eyes that told her he understood comforted her as he too nodded his silent greetings.

"Kira." Cagalli's voice was serious and Kira knew that their happy reunion was over.

"I've met Athrun Zala and I know where he would be next."

* * *

Author's note: I have finally updated and I would not be surprised that most of you have already forgotten how the story goes. Yet, I have not given up hope on all you and hope that you would do the same for me. Please do read and review. I love reading what you guys think and appreciate it a lot when you take the time to do so.

Future chapter prediction: When do you think Kira would meet Athrun? During the fight between Yzak and Athrun? What has Cagalli seen through her fight with the killing machine? And who is Klueze's brown haired brown eye?


	22. Protect

**Protect**

by: frost2light**  
**

Kira Yamato did not know if he had heard it right, he did not know even if he wanted those words to be true. He could not understand his own emotions, on one side, he wanted to run away and hide, forget about that raven haired teen….that monster, While the other demanded him to face up to his feelings of attraction, of rightness when he looked into the others emerald green eyes. Athrun Zala had nearly killed him once, he was afraid of the second time, it was natural, was it not? That explainable ugly fear held him in limbo with his other unexplainable yet unarguable feeling of wanting to get closer. His violet eyes scanned his blonde twin, her eyes a total opposite from his. While his mirrored his surprise, shock and even fear, hers told him another story of determination. Kira stood there stunned, dazed, before his whispered words could be heard over the unnatural silence, he needed to make sure. "What did you just say?"

_Why? Why do__ her eyes hold so much compassion for that teenager?_

"I've met Athrun Zala and I know where he would be next." Cagalli Yula Athha repeated, her amber eyes unwavering, understanding her brother's unspoken conflicting emotions. Cagalli knew that feeling, after all, she had also been through the same experience. Somebody trying to bash your head in with their inhuman strength was not something she wanted to repeat and it was definitely ranked at the utmost bottom of her list of things ought not to do. Going up against a Coordinator was harebrained enough, but going up against a Coordinator whom had been trained to kill was just downright suicidal not to mention utterly stupid. She was brash and hot headed, but she was not exactly a dumb bimbo.

"You know Athrun Zala? How?!" Kira demanded, as his voice cracked on the last word, violet eyes burning feverishly bright, his previous hesitance and doubts pushed aside for the meantime. Cagalli chuckled a little to herself, her little brother has gotten it bad for this raven haired killer. She supposed that she needed to feel the danger, to stop him before he became another statistic, but she would be damned if she did not try after she had promised that she could help. It was naïve, idealist even, but she truly wanted to protect these two people she had just met. They deserved more than just painful memories and unfulfilled hopes. They for no other appropriate word, did belong to each other. Her brother, hopefully, if she could do anything about it, could love enough for the both of them. And besides, she would of course play the most vital role of teaching them both if they were not able to do it themselves.

That decided, Cagalli grinned widely and suddenly, making Kira blink at her confused as Hinata Yui watched suspiciously by the side. Hinata knew that grin and it meant nothing good, not in that _good _sense, but more like "I know this is good for you and I will make you do it, no matter if you like it or not" good way. Hinata usually did not disapprove of Cagalli's methods, but that did not mean she approved either. In a way, she was beginning to sympathize with Kira, knowing firsthand what Cagalli's well meaning ways could bring. Her determined and persistent way of wanting everybody around her to be happy and well made up for all of the unwanted attention Cagalli bestowed on all those that were close to her. It was the only and main reason why there were so many people so faithfully loyal to their one and only "hime sama", their blond princess, the lioness of Orb. Her sincerity has touched many a person's heart.

"Cagalli sama." Hinata muttered under her breath, loud enough for Cagalli to hear and understand that tone while the others continued to look doubtfully at the blonde girl who just appeared as if brought by the wind. Hinata sighed inwardly, no doubt the others were taking it the wrong way, Hinata was sure that Cagalli's so called long lost brother and his friend were thinking that the Representative of Orb was one short of a screw in the mental department, but a fond grin tugged insistently at her lips, how long have she not seen Cagalli this alive? How long have Cagalli not have that fire in her eyes? That want and need to protect all that was dear to her? Her talents were lost in the stuffy Orb building with those power hungry monsters, they were no use to Cagalli, they only knew how to criticize and mock, Hinata understood that respect was earned, but how can Cagalli earn theirs when they are so hell – bent on not giving? Some of them grudgingly have accepted based on Cagalli's previous results, but the others, no names needed, were just blatantly ignoring those facts, those hard fought accomplishments.

"Don't worry Hinata. I know what I'm doing." Cagalli replied to that slight warning, giving the other girl a warm smile that was rusty from long non usage, but still equally as bright as the one that Cagalli had flashed to her the first time they had met. Hinata did not feel comforted at that reassurance, but she was happy, she was glad. Even though she knew nothing about what was happening currently, her sixth sense telling her it was nothing good, but she was still glad, because Cagalli finally had something more concrete to fight for.

"Let's find some place better to talk shall we?" Cagalli suggested, leading the way back into Elizabeth's bed and breakfast where everything they were about to do is about to start. This is their starting point. They were together at long last, Meng sensei's three "children". Their destinies were to fulfil Meng sensei's last wish to stop his best friend, his teacher, from doing something that he would regret in the future. Although all three of them, Kira, Cagalli and Nicol Amalfi, were fighting for that main ultimate goal, their personal objectives were slightly different. Hinata did not know what it was for either Kira or Nicol, however, what all of them want and hunger for, is simple- for somebody to love and care about. All of them do not want to be alone anymore.

"Is she always like that?" Kira mumbled consternated under his breath, his voice holding no grudge, just pure plain confusion before he, too followed Cagalli's footsteps back into the building. Hinata struggled not to laugh as she too continued what she was here to do, follow, leaving the only one person who has yet to open his mouth to comment on anything. Nicol looked towards where the other three had went, his eyes hooded. He had looked on by the sidelines, noticed the interaction between Cagalli and Kira. He could not explain what he was feeling right now, Cagalli knew where Athrun was. He was both relieved that she knew what she was doing, but equally as frustrated that she was encouraging Kira to jump into the wagon as if nothing would go wrong. Was this what a parent would feel when a new friend who had just came into their children's lives disrupted everything?

Nicol shook his head to clear away all those useless thoughts, he was nobody's parent, guardian maybe, but definitely not family. Cagalli was and will be in the future, Kira's one and only family. _Where would I be next? _ Nicol could not help that one small thought leaking into his consciousness but he forcefully threw it back to the back of his brain. This was not the time, he would have to trust Cagalli, for she, if he was not mistaken, has the ability to see. She would hold the key to many questions if she could hone her powers just right. Nicol looked up to the sky, wondering if Meng sensei was looking down at them wherever he may be, he wished he could talk to his mentor, ask him directions, advice, anything. A seer, a healer, and the only one offensive attacker Kira. Would this be enough for a ruthless killer? Would anything be enough?

_Trust your friends if not yourself. When everything seems too hard to handle, you are not alone, you will never be alone, Nicol._

"Meng sensei?" Nicol whispered questioningly as a particularly gentle breeze brushed past, caressing his face with its soft touch, smoothing away the furrow of brows that Nicol had on since the beginning of the whole conversation with Cagalli.

_Do not give up. Things will get better. You will find your own path and someday all of you will be free._

"I must be hallucinating." Nicol mumbled partly to himself and partly to the wind, yet his features were no longer pinched, as the weight he carried upon his slight shoulders seemed lighter than before. Even if it were a mere hallucination, he appreciated that comfort, he looked once again up into the sky, watching the clouds drift pass, vowing once more to himself that he would do whatever it takes to keep his promise. Protector he was not, but he was willing to try, just this once, both of Yvette and for himself. The chains would always still be there, his nightmares following close behind, but the past was the past, there was nothing he could change about it, but he could do what he could for the present and the future. Kira needed him, with or without his sister around, and he needed them both. They would undoubtedly teach him more about everything and he would learn. But first, he must learn to defend himself more, the healer cannot fall or the team would be lost.

"Thank you…" He whispered sincerely in his heart before walking back towards the building where the others had gone. It was time that he started to work.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Athrun Zala slipped pass the booby traps with the ease of a panther, slinking silently, gracefully in the shadows. His father, Patrick Zala's paranoia had leaded to these current instalments, his distrust of his fellow humans an amusement at most times, but irritating in circumstances like these. All Athrun wanted to do right now was to sleep, back in his humble but otherwise only refuge from the whole world. He was tired, both emotionally and physically, he understood perfectly well that he had no privileges, but that did not stop his desire of wanting to be alone. Having to face both brother and sister back to back, even though in coincidence had drained him.

_Please, just this once.__ Let me be able to rest._

Because, meeting Cagalli was almost like getting hit by a two tonne truck, determined and persistent, she was like the sun. Bright, warm, yet cruel and harsh at the same time. She had made him want to remember what it felt to feel, to understand the meaning of hope and belief, creating cracks, no matter how minute and slowly chipping away at that cocoon and brick wall that protected his sanity. What did she understand about his past? Would she still be in one piece if she had to go through what he had to endure since young? She had been inside his mind, an ability he had no idea any normal human could have and seen those ugly black memories he had kept locked up inside him. She had seen his younger self, the one that could still laugh and cry.. the one that could still _feel._

_Why did I allow her in? Why did I not push her out immediately?_

Yet, before he could get past the one room he did not want to go in most, he heard that familiar voice that called him softly, Athrun did not sigh, did not react at all, except from the slight falter in his otherwise confident steps, there was nothing to tell about his thoughts. _Evidently, there was no escaping anything_. It was foolish for him to not remember that important fact. He belonged to anyone except himself. How did his father put it? _You are everyone's whore. _Athrun's emerald green eyes went dark as he remembered those lessons his father had 'taught' him, he longer belonged to himself, he belonged to anyone who could pay that price Patrick commanded. Obediently, he approached the open room, knocked once on the wooden door, showing himself to the seated elder Zala before kneeling, his father, no matter what he said, did not appreciate having to look up to anyone at all.

"Have you finished the job?"

"No." No apologies, no I'm sorry, just a simple statement of his failure. He expected no pardon, no "its okay, you can try again next time", just that one blow he knew would come. He steeled himself for that incoming assault but none came. Slightly surprised, Athrun still kept his head bowed down low, but all he could hear was Patrick laughing, a thin cruel laugh that made Athrun want to shiver, if he knew how. He had long lost the ability to feel any fear at all, just numbness and the never ending voice telling him that nothing mattered anymore.

"No? This is the first time you have failed Athrun. What excuses do you have?" Patrick stopped his laughter to force out that one sentence. His eyes gleamed dark with pure evil intent, and Athrun knew without a doubt it was one of those nights again. He started his own defense mechanism, his own way to push out everything and to shut down whatever that was left inside, to succumb to that impossible depth of surrender, yet, that one spark of light that blonde haired girl left him made it almost impossible. He felt the rage bubble up in him, making him want to lash out, to strike at Patrick just enough to hurt him, to tell him that he would not be able to control him any longer, but he dimmed it just in time. He did not wish for more pain, or trouble that he was sure would come if he followed his own wants and needs.

_You have nothing that you want. Nothing that you need. You are nobody, just a tool, a killing machine that I created. You are nothing…nothing but a whore out for rent._

Athrun remembered that particular night with amazing clarity, those sentences beating a path in his brain, imprinting itself there forever with every push, shove and grunt Patrick emitted during that session. He had felt pain, he had felt horror, but most of all he had felt dirty. He had always thought that no matter what happened, even if his soul was tainted, he was still all right if he had one thing left, anything that he could hold and treasure, to remind him that he was still himself. But, evidently, Patrick was always thorough. That night, as he laid down there on the cold floor, the skin of his back rubbed red and raw as Patrick called Yvette's name over and over again as he moaned and gasped, sheathing himself deep in Athrun, he could feel himself breaking, slowly but surely into pieces that cut at him, shredded his self worth until he felt nothing left. Nothing to hurt, nothing more to destroy.

Patrick had left him there, blank eyes staring at the ceiling, cold, exhausted, in pain and yet still alive, wanting to die but not having the strength to do so. He had crawled up onto his knees, feeling the red trail of pain blaze from his back before concentrating most between his legs and stood. Staggering but still obstinately not wanting to fall. He could feel the stickiness that ran down the back of his legs and…felt nothing. He had walked back to his room, washed, dressed before going off to see Patrick for the next thing he had in mind for his son. That night, Athrun Zala died. 13 years of age, unwanted, unloved, unneeded. And Shinigami, whore for hire was born.

"Come nearer, son.." Patrick commanded, his voice husky, lust peppering his tone. He could feel his gut tighten with anticipation when his son looked up at him. His heart never failing to appreciate his son's fragile looking beauty. With his slim, lithe build, he could easily be mistaken as a girl, the only thing betraying this illusion is his emerald green eyes that reflected nothing. It was as if Patrick was seducing death and he loved those eyes, it reminded him of his past infatuation, of that lovely woman whom he had picked to be the "mother" of Athrun. With her beauty, Athrun was born. It was no doubt that Patrick had enjoyed her company as well. He still recalled her screams and pitiful cries with amazing clarity, he had really loved her at that time.

Athrun obeyed and shuffled closer, closing the distance, still on his knees, still submissive. His features schooled into a mask of indifference. Patrick understood that mask and he did not mind. He had those videos where Athrun, still young then, had cried and writhed, begging for mercy, for any relief, his limbs flailing about, fingernails scratching the bedspread as if that could stop anything as he pushed deeper and deeper into that welcoming warm, tight heat. It had been exhilarating and drove Patrick over the edge each and every time. However, that joy, that perverted satisfaction came with a price. But that price was worth it, it proved that his experiment had been successful. Very successful indeed.

_Breath knocked out as he staggered onto his feet, tasting blood in his mouth, before facing the young child who curled more tightly into himself as small broken sobs disturbed the night's silence._

"Are you not going to protest?" Patrick asked softly, almost gently, as his hand smoothed the soft raven coloured hair in front of him as if comforting a lost child. Athrun's back stiffened slightly, unused and confused to that particular question that was suddenly thrown at him. Patrick was in a different mood tonight, he had predicted wrong. Patrick never talked during one of these sessions. Never. Just command, strip and _pain._ An unsettled feeling started in the pit of Athrun's stomach, he really was not in the mood for any games. He did not want to get into more trouble, he could not. He had to rest. He was tired. He was drained. He was everything that he was not normally.

_Help me….__somebody help me…_

Surprised at that vulnerability, that plea that appeared and vanished equally as fast, smothered by Athrun's other more ingrained instincts and he nearly faltered. Yet, he regained his balance and instead, all he did was to say in hush respectful tones, "I don't understand father, your commands are mine to obey."

"Yes…yes…" Patrick muttered half heartedly to himself, more transfixed by the beauty in front of him and what he planned for later, "It does not matter…everything should be as it seems…"He continued contentedly, his own eyes flashing in the dark, as he began to stroke Athrun's cheek. Athrun took the cue and started stripping, there was no more dignity, no more pride. What else was there he did not know. He had howled into the night once upon a time, cried tears of humiliation not too long ago, but now, what was there except smooth skin and the occasional scar that marred the skin? Athrun closed his eyes when he felt Patrick's hot breath hit his cool skin, wondering when this would all be over. A pair of violet eyes entered his mind, kind and gentle and pure, Athrun wanted to reach out to that kindness but his hands which were covered with blood did nothing but smear those ugly colours onto that violet orbs until it seemed as if the eyes had been crying scarlet tears. Even in his imagination he could not be pure..

_This was his punishment. His defilement._

And the only light from that room was a small flickering flame from a lone candle that wavered and danced, throwing shadows of one tormented soul and a devil onto the blank walls. This was his life, his untold story. His never ending Hell.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Lacus Clyne had a lot of practise dealing with men twice her age sounding as if he did not care about whatever she suggested. She too had a lot of experience dealing with people that did not like her or her ideals during the war. Yet, for some strange reason, when she started the conversation with the Montage Dirge, the self appointed new Representative of Orb, she could both detect the hatred, anger and harsh words he longed to spit out and into the phone. Lacus felt tired, she did not want to have to soothe yet another one more man's ego, she did not want this job, but since there was no one else to take it over, she had to do it. Her slim shoulders could still bear more weight. This, she is certain, and this, is what she has to do.

Lacus schooled her features into something polite and respectful, something she was not proud to be able to do, because it scared her, because at times she no longer knew who she was, and whether if this was the real her. She had heard about separate identities and in all honesty it gave her the chills to understand that she could put on masks so fast and natural as if it were just another necessary extension of herself. It was a fear she could not voice out to anybody, and she had always admired Cagalli and the way she could be herself while being a politician. No…she shook her head wryly inside, Cagalli was never a politician, can never really be that kind of person. It was not a failure, instead, to Lacus, it was a success that she wished she could emulate.

_Cagalli will never be the type to smile when she wanted to cry…not like her…never like her._

"Greetings, Representative of Orb." Lacus said clearly into the screen as the image of the older man appeared before her eyes. She detected a slight pause as Montage regarded her with an almost disbelieving look and she wondered what she had said of done to create that kind of response. She forcefully pushed it to the back of her mind and focused instead on the matter on hand. With Cagalli Yula Athha gone, Orb was indeed about to undergo a transformation. Lacus did not want it to be that way, however, with Ishida Toshiro breathing down her neck, there was no way she could do anything to prevent its ultimate destruction. She almost wished that Cagalli had more loyal followers in her board of committees instead of weaklings. Montage was a modest man who had nothing to be modest about.

"Greetings Lacus Clyne." Montage nearly spat into the phone. It took an obvious strength of will to not curse into the phone, expletives that he wished he could shout at the girl who looked so innocently back at him. He knew that she could tell he was in no mood to talk and for that he was slightly ashamed at his own inability to be like her. Montage, not for the first time, wondered whether he had been right to agree to PLANTs terms and conditions. As Ishida had put it so accurately, he was merely a spy and nothing else to that monster. He could be as easily eliminated as Cagalli had been. Cagalli had been thrown out because of his money and his threats, but that did not mean that the people's hearts were void of her, in fact, he knew it was the direct opposite. The few days that he had been in office, he had already felt the obvious cold tension in the atmosphere, the reluctance from most of the people working under him. He had been quite willing to try to either fire those people or at least try to get some supportive people under him. But, to his dismay, he had yet another shock when he came to realise that there were too many who disapprove on his way and did not believe one minute about his excuses about Cagalli being unwell and unfit to be the Representative.

_Damn and damn it all._

"Is something wrong Representative Dirge?" Lacus asked calmly, expressing her concern but knowing it was all pretence, all fake. Her own eyes showing no humour even if she did enjoy watching the man struggle against his own stupidity. She knew a fair amount about what he was thinking, his feelings. Her own planted spy had been quite thorough and quite vocal about the man that she was currently speaking with. Montage Dirge had only a little amount of time before he too was overthrown. She would love to see that scene, his shame when his pride was torn to shred when his own illusion was shattered by the people whom he had forcefully taken control of. Yet, without a doubt, Lacus had to give it to him for being able to wrestle control from Cagalli even if it was with unethical means. However, what was unethical in the world of politics? She had long learned that the lines of right and wrong blurred and mixed around till there was no clear definition at all.

"Nothing is wrong. I apologize Miss Clyne." Montage fenced back. This was what the whole conversation since it began was. Polite remarks one, fence and counter back with another, a prod next, before the counter again. It was all so tiring and unnecessary. A game of cat and mouse, of tag, that she did not enjoy. "As I have told Ish…"

Lacus's ears picked up at that small stumble in words and her piercing eyes skewered Montage with a sharp glance, making her less of a woman twice younger his age, and more of a predator about to pounce, dangerous, lethal and ruthless as hell. Expletives of every language Montage knew exploded in his mind. He was supposed to keep mum about that fact, about Ishida, about everything. And now, he had shot his own foot with his own god damn gun. This really was not his day. In fact, it was not even his week. Montage really needed to find his mistress and lose himself in her cuddles and comforting presence, and of course, not forgetting the all time cure for everything- wild sex and a whole weekend in bed. In fact he should do just that and Montage tried to fumble his way through the mistake he created by his own idiocy.

"As I have told each and everyone here, we will follow and obey PLANTs terms and conditions, and willingly bow to everything that you have mentioned in the contract. We look forward in working hand in hand with all we have to improve your weap…." Montage once again shut his blathering mouth when he mentioned the weapon systems. He was not supposed to talk about that either. The weapons system Orb had been developing as a secret had been what it was, a top secret project with a clearance no higher than himself and only the people handpicked by him. Once again, he could see Lacus's sharp ears pick up his mistake with ease and her eyes that were predatory from before were downright frightening now. In fact, when Montage looked at her right now, he was reminded of Ishida, that madman.

_She really is no further away from him as he thinks._

"I really do have my doubts about what you have just told me Representative Dirge. What did you really mean to say? Ishida? Weapons? What have you been doing behind my back Representative? Are you not afraid that I would think that you were less than honest with me?" Lacus's calm cool words sliced through Montage and showed her displeasure more than cold harsh shouting and screaming could ever will. Montage felt a shiver run unwillingly down his back, cold sweat dampening his shirt making it stick to his back. Lacus scared him, and right now, he just wanted to end this conversation, a conversation that he wished he did not have to take in the first place.

_Damn that Ishida. He knew this would happen. He knew! This is his way of showing that he has me under control. Damn that crafty bastard._

"Representative Dirge? Is there something that you would like to talk to me about?" Lacus repeated her question, her eyes still watching like hawk, taking in every movement, every little nuance that Montage was showing her. Montage nervously cleared his throat, swallowed a whimper and tried to think a way out of this mess. But he was in a dead end with no way to go and no where to run.

_Shit._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Three days passed too fast for Kira Yamato's liking, he looked towards his twin sister who was jokingly pulling at Hinata to convince to try yet another one of her experiments. That was what she called them, experiments, Cagalli did not know how to cook. Period. Nothing more needed to be said. Kira, within these three days, had not only grown to fear his sister, he had learnt to respect and love her equally as much. Cagalli was like fire while he was…he was like what? Kira shook his head, not wanting to venture down that road, but these few days had been like a dream, a dream he thought he had long lost. Nicol Amalfi, always ready with a soft smile and kind word had been laughing while the serious girl that had come with Cagalli, Hinata Yui she had said her name was, smiled more often than he thought she would too. All in all, it was like a family that had just come back from the four corners of the earth and rejoined. A happy family reunion. Kira wished that it could last, at least for awhile more.

"Kira! Come on…try this. I think it'd work!" Cagalli called out gaily, distracting him from his own thoughts, pulling him magnetically with her enthusiasm towards the kitchen Elizabeth had laughingly allowed Cagalli to use. There was no need to mention the damage that had been done to the previously sparkling bright kitchen. Yet, no matter how disgusting the food tasted, nor how unappetizing it looked, Kira and the others still went. Like bees to honey, just so that Cagalli could keep that warm smile and laughter alive on her face. She really was like the sun, the sun that lights up their lives with her personality. She was brash, she was rude, she was hot tempered, but most importantly, she was all he had. She was his only family. His twin.

_I swear I will protect you._

"Are you trying to kill us all?" Kira replied with a laugh, his voice gentle and teasing, yet getting up all the same from where he had been sitting on the large sofa while observing the whole commotion to walk towards her and her horrible cooking. Cagalli glared back at him and brandished the spoon that she was holding like a weapon. Kira burst out into laughter when Cagalli had tried to swing the spoon towards him and instead smacked her hand into Nicol's innocent nose. Nicol's indignant splutter redoubled his laughter while Cagalli's amber eyes widened and she rushed towards Nicol, forgetting once again that her hand still held that same spoon she had accidentally smacked Nicol with. Another 'tcwack' sounded from the contact of the spoon with skin and Nicol stumbled back a few more steps, in pain yet his eyes were dancing.

"Oh crap! I'm really sorry! Let me see. Come on let me see!"

"Nmmmphhh.." (No way) Nicol mumbled, "Itqwsa oshhhkashdu" (Its okay, stay away). Kira could not hold in his howl of laughter as he heard Nicol's absurd way of exaggerating his so called hurt. Cagalli glared daggers at her brother but her eyes were warm and filled with mirth at her own actions, and happy because her serious brother, so gentle yet pulled into a future with so much bloodshed in store was laughing. He had not laughed at all when he had met her in that dreamscape, not laughed at all when he knew her for the first few days. It took a lot of effort and stupidity to get him laughing like now. Cagalli felt a sense of accomplishment fill her, satisfied that her recent actions were not lost. Kira and the others now at least had something to help them through the dark periods she knew were about to come. Her visions had been spotty when she had first begun experiencing them, the voices a hushed whisper most of the time, yet as she grew stronger, both emotionally and through her powers, she could understand most of the time what those voices told her and what she should do. When those visions came she could not predict, but those constant voices, they helped her along the way and for that she was grateful. Cagalli did not know what her full potential could be but for now, they were enough for her. They told her to try all she could to make them happy, she had. And she did not regret it one bit. Their laughter, so real was worth every bit of effort she put in. They were ready.

"I guess its time."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

There was no mistaking it. His opponent was the one that his father had asked him to seek out. Yzak Joule. His silver hair and icy blue eyes matched the picture that he had engraved in his brain and those few times when he had done reconnaissance. Yet where was the blonde that was with him during those days in Sector 5? And how did this teen end up here and in this situation? Athrun Zala did not believe in coincidences, because if he believed in this he would have to believe in fate and fate was something he did not care about. He sat on the small stool that had been prepared for the fighters and wondered. But, he did not mind this slight turn of events, in fact, he could only rejoice. Trying to kill Kira Yamato had thrown him off track, off his initial plan of both locating and recruiting his so called brothers for his father's uses. He had been afraid that he would not been able to find them both as fast as Patrick would have preferred and failed.

_Are you not going to protest?_

Athrun's eyes darkened at that particular memory and wished he could just forget all that had happened. That night had been particularly harsh as Patrick had been even more cruel in _his_ enjoyment. Athrun forced those unimportant emotions and feelings of dirtiness back into those boxes where they belonged and focused all his attention on the present. The past was the past and the future still far away. He had to not lose the present to be able to go to the future and this Yzak Joule, this teen, was challenging him. Although he did not care for the title strongest, Patrick Zala would not want him to lose. He had to prove his worth to this other teen to make him listen to his commands later. It was more of a necessity, this fight. Therefore, he had to win. And, he too was curious to see whether Yzak could manipulate water as stated in the report, and to what extent.

_Is he strong enough?_

Thus, no matter how much he had tried to convince himself when he was younger that he did not like to fight, he now knew and understood that it was wrong. Very wrong. He loved the adrenaline rush because it was the only thing that told him that he was alive. Being omnipotent and all powerful was, for none of a better word, _boring. _If he had to kill, he wanted to be able to think it was worth it. That was his logic, his way of preserving whatever mind he had left before he fell into that deep dark abyss of..of what? He had no idea but he did not want to think about it. He had been rusty for too long.

The short spell with Cagalli had left him wanting for a stronger opponent, an opponent that would not go down by the first one minute. Judging by the looks of the other teen, Athrun could predict that there would be quite a lot of fight in that body, even though he looked slightly exhausted. Athrun could feel a feral grin tugging at his lips, his bloodthirstiness quite apparent to all to see and those frequent patrons to the competitions Athrun participated in were quite astonished. They had never seen Athrun show anything but boredom. As Athrun's grin widened the onlookers responded with excited shouts and cheers, wanting to see the action as soon as possible. All of them instinctively felt that this was going to be a good show.

The referee motioned for both fighters to stand ready and without wasting more time started the match that everybody had been waiting for. Athrun and Yzak eyed each other with unveiled interest as both of them circled warily, each waiting for another make a move. Both of them not knowing what the other was thinking. But thoughts were unnecessary in the ring, all that was needed was power, power to be able to beat your opponent and come out alive. This was what death matches were about. None of the people here wanted to see gentle kind people, what they wanted was a fight. A head on primitive fight that would show who was the stronger while the weak perished.

And they need not wait long as the match started officially with a blood curling yell by Yzak who launched himself headlong into Athrun. The roof nearly came down with the catcalls and whistles, shouts and cheers, and the excitement level was so high it was abnormal. Patrick merely retired back to the higher stage that was prepared for both him and Murata Azrael, as the VIPs to watch the already known outcome of the match. He just wanted to watch how well his past experiment measured to his perfect specimen. It was really interesting to see what a failed subject could do to his superior.

"How much are you willing to bet?" Murata's slimy voice cut through Patrick's thoughts and he smiled at the other man. A smile that was just as sly as the voice that had first spoken.

"I wonder what you are willing to lose."

"That confident of your experiment Patrick?"

"Should I not be?" Patrick volleyed back as his eyes caught a glimpse of Murata's ever present pet and without waiting for Murata to answer, he said smoothly, "You have quite the loyal follower." Nodding towards Klueze who had stationed himself behind Murata and yet in full view of the match below. Klueze's muscles stiffened slightly when the word follower slipped from Patrick's mouth and into his ears, but forced himself to relax almost as immediately Patrick wondered if he had even seen anything. Yet, Patrick knew undeniably that his words had created that small movement and his slight reaction brought Patrick's eyebrows up.

_Interesting._

Maybe there is something here he could exploit in the future. Gleefully, Patrick's eyes flicked from the grinning Murata to the masked man and he filed away the small motion for further reference. This was more than beneficial to think that the snake had yet another snake upon it and may or may not know it. It would be fun to manipulate this new pawn into his game. Settling down to observe further to find out more, Patrick continued on with the conversation as if nothing happened.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Yzak Joule was starting to have a hard time, Athrun was too fast, too quick, too experienced. He had yet to land a strike that was hard enough, powerful enough to stop him in his tracks. Athrun was strong he admitted that, he was also quite the ruthless bastard. Yzak knew that he was toying with himself and that pissed him off. With every turn and strike, with every kick and punch Yzak threw, he knew he was only wasting his own energy, Athrun either evaded or ran. Yzak gritted his teeth, holding back his sneers and taunts, trying to concentrate on the fight, to formulate some kind of plan to finish this, yet unable to think straight because of the red haze of anger in front of him. Athrun seemed to know just what he was thinking and flashed him a quick grin, adding fuel to the oil. Yzak's fingers clenched tightly into fists, feeling his nails bite crescent half moons into his palms, he hated that look, hated that feeling that no matter how hard he tried, nothing would change. Him fighting Athrun reminded him too much of him fighting tooth and nail with fate, feeling the helplessness, the desperation. Yzak had promised himself that he will prove himself better than this machine, he would prove that he was not a failed experiment, he was somebody.

_I hate you._

_I will defeat you._

_I will not lose._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Kira Yamato watched the scenery pass by in silence, in fact the whole car was enshrouded in the unnatural silence that had started since the beginning of the journey. Everybody was tensed, nervous, their breaths held in as if afraid to breathe. Kira wanted to laugh at the whole situation, it seemed so constipated it was hilarious if it was not so serious. This was their beginning of their fight against Patrick, Athrun had to be stopped, had to be saved. Cagalli Yula Athha had told them it was time and that they were ready, but Kira did not feel ready. Hell, he did not even think that this situation was real. Everything seemed to pass by in a hushed whoosh, passing through, not stopping, not allowing any of them to even think. The past two days had gone by so happily, so filled with warmth and laughter, it had actually began to delude him that they could continue on being that big happy family. But, he knew that he was just running away, just afraid of facing the facts. Who wanted to shy away from things that they could rely on and trust? Who would want to war when they could just stay behind and be happy in their own little world?

It was saddening to think that maybe, just maybe that those two days were the only two days that all of them would be like a family. Kira knew that without a doubt, war only brought sadness and casualties. They were going to a fight and he understood the consequences. He did not doubt that maybe, maybe one of them would not come back alive. Silent, polite, loyal Hinata who owed a sharp mind and an equally sharp tongue when she wanted it to be; Warm, gentle, kind Nicol Amalfi who would have been happier talking to people in the market, buying groceries for the meals he would love to prepare for his loved ones; Brash, brave, sincere Cagalli Yula Athha, his twin and only family he had. She was somebody who would protect those that she loved with the fierceness of a lioness and him. What was he? In other's eyes…was he important too?

Kira looked at each one of them, taking in their features, imprinting them into his brain. He wanted to remember each and every one of them, these were his comrades, his friends, his _people_. He wanted to protect them with every inch of himself. He had the power to do so but would he be able to accomplish that goal? Kira shook his head, wanting to laugh at his own helplessness. Having the want and urge to do something was not enough, was his willpower strong enough to be able to protect the ones he vowed to do so? Would he be enough to stop a madman from destroying the world Cagalli loved so much? This was Orb, her beloved country that she would give her all. Kira wondered if Meng sensei knew that his experiment would give birth to a weakling, somebody who had the power but was unable to use it. How far was his limit? How much would he be able to endure before he broke into pieces? Torn apart by his own inability?

Nicol had mentioned to him once that his power had the ability to destroy many things, that he was incredibly powerful, nearing unstoppable if he was able to harness the power and use it properly. Yet, as lovely as that sounded, there is a drawback. As the saying goes, with great power comes great responsibility. He had to control it, because if not, there might be a consequence that he would disappear too. Afterall, humans, no matter Naturals or Coordinators were not supposed to be able to control matter, their brain capacity were not that evolved. Therefore, if Kira was unable to control his own brain, he would die. Simple as that. No specimen was perfect, there always would be something to hold them back. Call it God's way of enforcing his law of nature because men had no place or right in infringing his powers. How sarcastically ironic.

"We are almost there." Cagalli's voice broke the silence and Kira's train of thoughts. Nodding grimly, everyone readied themselves physically and mentally, silently telling each other and themselves that they would go back, back to Elizabeth's bed and breakfast with smiles on their faces and _alive._

_I will protect all of you. I will use everything within my powers to protect all of us._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Athrun Zala was getting tired of this fight. Yzak was good but Athrun knew that he was better. He snuck a glance up towards the small landing that provided the VIPs with the best view and knew that Patrick was also watching him, both their eyes met and Patrick grinned, nodding slightly giving Athrun the order to finish the match. Yes. It was time.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Kira Yamato arrived just in time on the scene when he saw Athrun Zala whip around and tried to bury the knife he had in his hand into Yzak's defenceless body. Yzak's mouth formed a silent shout, his eyes defiant yet closing involuntarily as a reaction to the gleaming metal. Kira forced his mind to focus, beads of cold sweat forming on his forehead as he battled with time and Athrun's sheer force of will.

_I will not let you kill him!_

_I will not let you have another life on your hands!_

Kira concentrated with every ounce of strength, imagined his hand clamping tightly unto Athrun's wrists, trying to push back against his strength that continued to add on as time passed. He needed to stop Athrun, he needed to protect his loved ones and the first step was to stop Athrun, nothing else matters now. He had to stop him. Kira watched as Athrun's hand slowed, violet eyes taking in Athrun's slight change of expression as he tried to make his hand move yet could not. Emerald green eyes narrowed dangerously as he tried for the last time before realisation dawned in his mind and his head whipped towards the teen he had failed to kill. Athrun's eyes widened but went back to its normal cool blank state while Kira took all of these in as he forced Athrun's hand to move up and away from Yzak.

"Move you fool!" Cagalli Yula Athha shouted at the silved haired teenager who looked pathetic. He had been thoroughly beaten, wounds spilling fresh red blood everywhere, to the wild cheering of the audience. Cagalli thoroughly disgusted at the patrons of Chaos pushed and shoved her way through the now seething mass of people. They were stunned and Cagalli used this opportunity to get through the otherwise impenetrable wall. She knelt down beside the fallen teen, taking in his shallow gasps of breaths and wondered what she could do without Nicol Amalfi to heal. She eyed Athrun who looked at her with nothing in his eyes, yet she could detect that slight flicker of admiration.

_I told you that I would help you. I have brought Kira, its up to you now._

"I see we meet again, Kira Yamato."

* * *

Author's note: There! There! I've done it! I've allowed them to meet again. Go. Take it away. I have been working on this for far too long. My whole semester have been plagued by proposals, presentations and assignments and this! But I hope you guys really like this, I hope this doesn't read too much of OOCness...and hope I have potrayed them as they should be. But most importantly, I really hope you guys like this new piece. Do read and comment. 

P.S: Future might happens: What will happen when Patrick realises that Kira is yet another ultimate coordinator? What will he force AThrun to do? What has happened to Dearkka? And of Yzak? What next is in line when he meets up with the new bunch of people?


	23. I Will

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty Three

I Will

by: frost2light

"I see we meet again Kira Yamato." Athrun Zala said, his clear voice calm, smooth yet so chillingly cold, not revealing anything but perfect pronunciation. His emerald green eyes flickered once towards the blonde haired girl he had met not too long ago and his admiration for her increased. She had indeed kept her promise like she said she would. As if reading his mind, Cagalli Yula Athha looked up and caught his eye, nodding briefly to acknowledge his slight praise. Both of them understood the unsaid, because for them, even though they were not on the same side, they still appreciated each others capabilities, and if it were under different circumstances, they probably would have become comrades, friends even. She knew all this because deep in her heart, she knew she would trust him with her life. It was unexplainable, it just is. Yet, nevertheless, for the meantime, none of those mattered, not the what ifs or those if onlys, it was just not the right time.

Athrun refocused his gaze on Kira who merely stared back at him, not speaking, just standing there drinking in the sight that had held his dreams captive every night. Athrun, even with blood drops splatters across his right cheek and numerous other small cuts that patterned red strips across his otherwise pale skin, was still hauntingly beautiful. Kira felt his pulse quickening, not from fear, but from the fact that he was once more facing the person whom he knew less than a day, yet had strangely held his heart prisoner. The negative emotions of fear, of anger, of betrayal, all of them were pushed away and forgotten when he set his violet gaze on Athrun and no matter what he would like himself to think about, Kira knew without a doubt that Athrun was special to him. Only time can tell if things will turn out all right for the both of them.

_Why did people love to destroy?_

Shaking his head, Kira admonished himself inwardly, reminding himself over and over again of his brush of death by this teen's hand. Undeniably, Athrun was as breathtakingly beautiful as the dawn, yet, he too was as lethally dangerous as a pit viper. Kira knew for a fact that Athrun could, and would not hesitate to strike at any moment, at any opportunity that presented itself, his hand fast and sure, like what he had done when he had caught Kira snooping outside Yvette Carpenter's window. To him it was a necessity just like breathing. Athrun was not one who forgave mistakes as such that easily, no, he had been trained too well to have mercy on others that disrupted his jobs, making what most people never do an instinct. And for that incident, Kira had no one to blame but himself. He had indeed learnt his lesson from that one time as it was definitely not an experience he wanted to repeat. Kira knew that Lady Luck would not always be on his side.

"What brings you here, Kira?" Athrun continued, his tone unchallenging, making it almost a conversation between friends, his lips quirking up into a slight smile that never quite reached his eyes.

"You know why." Kira answered Athrun simply, his violet eyes earnest, hating the mask that Athrun was wearing as if second skin. His fingers itched to pull Athrun into a furious bear hug, to comfort him like a small child that knew nothing about being protected, just to shatter that infuriating pretentious smile. Athrun deserved much more, much much more. No one should need to have gone through what he had. Everybody should have the freedom to express themselves like they were supposed to, and not through those useless gestures that meant nothing, only a pathetic shield to a fatally wounded heart. But, he knew he had to be patient, especially when Athrun was still bound and held tightly by the chains Patrick Zala had stifled him with. It was not physical chains that disabled, instead they were what Athrun had been indoctrinated by Patrick Zala. His own mind now was his enemy, it was such which compelled him to obey Patrick's commands.

And there was no way to break through those chains unless the other was willing. This was what Kira knew and understood. He had to wait till everything was over and only then, if Athrun would let him, he would help Athrun to find better times. Together they will work through walls and find their own future other than that was set for them by people who thought they were Gods. This was why he was willing to risk his life, if he was able to stop this teen from destroying himself, maybe he could stop whatever Patrick was planning. Athrun was merely one of the pawns, a powerful one nevertheless, in the lethal game of chess Patrick Zala was playing.

Athrun watched Kira's facial expression change from anger to sorrow to determination, he could not tell what Kira was currently thinking but, the way those violet gems trained themselves on him, he could guess slightly. He felt his chest constrict painfully, an unfamiliar emotion choking him, making it heard to breathe, his deadened heart beginning to pump at the sight of this boy, at how much he cared for a total stranger like him. An unaccustomed warmth melting the icy façade that he had built around his heart. How could somebody he barely knew care? How could Kira even bring himself to feel for him, him who has even tried to kill him once? Did he not feel afraid? Kira's honest gaze touched and puzzled him. Athrun could feel Kira trying to tell him that he was scared, that he did remember the past, but even though that happened, he still cared more about the person that Athrun _is_, trusted that he was not evil and that overcame the fear.

All of these Athrun knew instinctively, Kira's steady gaze not avoiding his emerald green eyes at all, allowing him to look into his soul, to see the sincerity behind the actions. His boldness, his trusting Athrun actually made Athrun want to run away and hide. Kira was something that Athrun could never be, he could wear his heart on the sleeve, allowing everybody to see and not regret. Athrun hated and admired this trait at the same time, Kira was like an angel that shone, making him, the sinner, just want to curl away in the darkness, to watch from afar, never daring to come near because he did not _deserve_ being able to bask in his light. All these time, Athrun had seen all facets of human evil, the darkness that resided in a person's heart, the greed, lust, everything dirty and ugly that was associated with being a human and that had tainted him, painted him a colour so dark that he was the darkness. The lessons that Patrick made him learn and go through, all those had made him lose hope, had given him nothing but despair.

And the obedient student had despaired.

There was nothing else that he could feel, not when the good people lost the battle while the bad whom wanted them dead bought their lives with money. How many times had he ruthlessly ignored a person's plea to save their life, or to spare the ones that they cared about? How many had he just cut down because the price was right? Some of them were honourable people who had principles that did not agree with those in power, the mistake that they made were just being too vocal, and always it was fatal. Always. People with power wanted more power, and with more power and money comes corruption. People no longer controlled the money, it was usually the money who controlled the person sooner of later. Their bony like fingers catching hold and never letting go, twisting their slaves around their whims, making them listen to nothing but their whispers of evil, and the truth that disrupted their illusionary world would die with those who dared to voice them. And some of them were merely children, eliminated because it would cause pain to those who still lived.

"_I love you mamma…I'll be going to heaven first all right? Don't cry…I will be happy there.."_

"_I love you papa…Take care of mamma ok? I'll be waiting for all of you."_

His first kill, a silver of a ghost that haunted him, not with revenge but with compassion, with understanding, a little girl who had smiled at him so bravely yet looked at him so sadly that he nearly turned away, nearly walked away and to hell with the consequences. Athrun shook his head, wanting nothing more to be able to shake away that particular memory, yet dislodging more pieces that flashed before him, more regrets that made his life.

The girl's father was a politician at that time, somebody who had been worried about a bill that threatened to create yet another war and had been incredibly vocal about it. He and his staunch supporters had written letters of protest, brought up the issue in the official meetings, held press conferences in order to publicly denounce the opposition which invariably retaliated with even more slandering. His actions, though brave, was foolhardy. And soon, the people he wanted to back off got fed up with the irritating fly buzzing about in the ears. And finally, the one to get hurt was no one but his daughter, a girl who was barely six and was bedridden because of an accident two years ago.

_This is because of papa right?_

_I don't mind onisan. What papa is doing is right._

"_Onnisan.. don't be sad...you didn't want to do it right? "_

He had been eleven at that time, barely older than that girl who smiled like the sun. She had been so stoic, calmly accepting her fate, only asking him innocently whether it would hurt. Before he could stop himself he had blurted out his question, asking her "Did she not mind?!" and looked away, not wanting to see her cry, the girl who should be laughing and playing under the azure sky, happily dancing and singing like she used to before the accident that took away her mobility. She had looked at him with those cerulean blue eyes and shook her head, her blonde curls dancing on her thin shoulders, her words striking that vulnerable chord in his heart. She told him she knew that he had come for her because of the work her father had been doing, she had heard the servants talk, their words boldly floating into her ears because they thought she was asleep. They had admired her father, applauded his actions yet all of them tsk tsked at the large risk he was taking. He had chosen to go up against one that others merely succumbed to.

_I'm proud of papa. _She had said, her chin held high as tears swum in her eyes, staring straight at him. _I would have wanted him to do this. This is the way people should be. _

Athrun knew she was pretending to be brave, that she did not want to die so soon and leave everybody she loved behind, yet as his knife sliced through her skin, she struggled briefly like all humans did, an inborn instinct, but she forced down that terror and tightened her hold on the bed sheets and_endured._ Athrun felt his tears well up at that girl's sacrifice for the people she loved, yet, he understood, that this death would just only bring more pain and grief. Nothing could come out of this, the father would be obsessed from now on, and the mother, she would either leave the husband, or, if she truly understood and loved him, she would stay. He had purposely threw the small flower vase unto the floor, watching it crash and break into a tiny million pieces that would never be glued back and thought it was how this family's life was going to be.

Broken, broken into a thousand, million fragments that nothing could save it anymore.

He had swiftly gone out the way he had come in, through the window, into the dark black night, and had hoped that the noise would have attracted the parents before it was too late. That little girl blue eyes had not been able to speak anymore, not with her vocal cords so damaged, but her eyes expressed her gratitude when he had looked at her for the last time. She had _thanked_him for killing her and Athrun knew from this experience that he no longer wanted to feel. He did not want to hurt so much like he was hurting now, he did not want to know the pain that would eat him alive, the guilt that gave him nothing but nightmares at night. He did not want all these if he had to survive. That little girl, her courage and understanding, he would never forget, the single tear that tracked down his pale cheek, this would be the last drop of moisture for his lost innocence and a tribute to his own personal Hell.

_I will avenge you someday. I will not let you die in vain._

That had been his promise to that little girl, the one thing that kept him living for the next few years when more kills and blood drenched his hands and coated them slick was crimson. He had learnt how to switch off his conscience and get on with his jobs, a part of his brain had shut down, trying to create yet another thicker barrier to keep away all those guilt that was like quicksand, and would drown him if he lowered his guard. He had functioned like a robot, became the tool, machine, death that made Patrick Zala so proud. He, in merely a few years, had assassinated many that Patrick Zala had wanted, some random maybe, but he knew that there was something behind all those deaths, and had become the ultimate Coordinator within that short period of time. He had become too the machine that everybody feared and loathed yet wanted to have on their side just to feel safe.

_Everybody wanted to feel powerful, to be able to control the one weapon that listened to your every command, their hearts as black as coal, and as cold as ice._

And yet, meeting Cagalli and Kira now, his hope, that small flicker of flame that he had guarded so fiercely behind the walls, barricaded with everything that he had, was given another chance of becoming stronger, a maybe that tempted him from the life that he was leading now, if what he was currently going through could be defined as a life. And that maybe, that someday, he could find out that things would and could be better, an improvement from the days that he had to endure to find that light at the end of a very dark tunnel. He had travelled for so long in that sultry liquid darkness that made night, listened to the promises of her throaty voice that promised him more money, more power, as he took on more jobs, more rewards for Patrick, he was already afraid that when the day came for him to step into the light and finally be free, he would not because he had gotten used to the dark, gotten used to feeling powerful, gotten used to the metallic stench of death and revelled in the sticky warmth.

_Have you started to love killing, Athrun? You have surely gotten used to the power, ne?_

He did remember that sentence quite clearly, the way Patrick's eyes had lit up with glee, the dark grin that pulled his lips wide and far apart when the realisation had dawned upon him. That whisper was his punishment sentence, a curse that would be his to bear. He had cringed inside, yet….he knew that Patrick was not far off from the truth and that small wish, that small hope that someday he could find out that things would and could be better and be different from now shrunk even smaller and paled. Even, right now, when Cagalli had fulfilled her promise, and the dreams that he had, of the violet eyed angel that would allow him freedom, he could not get himself to feel relieved, or to even start to believe that maybe God has not yet forsaken him, him who have sinned so much. He realised, when he looked into Kira and Cagalli's eyes that there was still good in this world, that there was a chance for everybody if they took the first step onto the road that they wanted to walk…

_I cannot do this anymore._

Athrun stiffened when that particular thought flashed through his mind, he was a killer, is and always will be. There was no turning back from that path taken, Shinigami is his name, his successes a mile long, Patrick Zala's prized procession. He was nobody outside this comfort zone, if all these were taken away from him, that status, that God damned occupation, what would he be? There was nothing he could do, no education, no life, no nothing. His grip tightened on his weapon, feeling the smooth wooden hilt, knowing every part of it like his own. This was his partner, his friend, his only comrade in this business. The engraved dragon with ruby eyes that was born from his own hands, carved painstakingly into the piece of wood that he had purchased, making it seem so alive. All these were what he owned. Nothing else.

_There is no way out, you will always be stuck._

"Let us fight together." Athrun could almost hear Kira's voice whisper above the cacophony in the claustrophobic area he was in, a promise and a plea so sweet he wanted to just nod and give himself away.

_Will you walk the path that you want Athrun?_

_Do you dare to put your past behind you and try?_

_Your guilt is__ not yours alone._

Kira left that part unsaid, there was no need for those words to be public, to be heard by the crowd that wanted nothing more than to watch other people's blood to be spilt, to be beaten to pulp, to be slaughtered cold bloodedly. Kira hated this viciousness, the vindictive pleasure that came when another person's pride was felled and stamped on, their lives hanging by the thread just for the joy and amusement of people who despised their own. Kira's ears smarted at the shouted encouragement of the fight, the easy roll of tongue that called for death, foul words that peppered the air when they got nothing, no action, and the boos and shrill cat calls from the men and women who were grinning wickedly from ear to ear, a ghoulish mask that mirrored what they were inside. Kira felt sorry for these people, because he knew that they too had been thrown down and been trodden on for far too many times that their eyes, behind the feverish excitement, were eyes that were too old for their age. These people had already given up and accepted their own fate, and in the process, had forgotten their humanity. This was all they had in entertainment, this was all they had to forget their own lives, their own grief and disappointment. This was what they called their life.

_Athrun will not end up like this. I will not let him go down this road._

"I'm sorry." Athrun blurted out before he could stop it, teleporting himself behind Kira, his knife drawn and poised to strike, but he did not regret saying it, because it was what he meant to say, it was the truth and it was the first time that he meant anything he said. He was sorry things had to turn out the way he knew it will turn out, he was sorry he could not be stronger, to fight the chains that Patrick had bound him to, even though he knew that he had the power to, he was sorry that he was what he is, that he could not leave his past behind to start anew, maybe when all this was over, maybe then, would he ever be able to be free. Athrun could feel his heart throbbing, his chest so full it was about to burst, as he forced his hand harder down, feeling the strain but knowing he had to do what he was supposed to do.

_Kill him. That is the best way. Protect him from seeing you again._

"It doesn't have to be this way." Kira said before he too started to push back. Was it never going to end? Would both of them have to fight every time they meet? Whenever would this cycle ever stop? Kira risked a glance up to the elevated podium where the VIPs were sitting and his eyes narrowed when he found what he was looking for. Cagalli too had described the person who was controlling Athrun. If he could get up there, if he could just….

"Don't even think about it Kira. You will not succeed."

_Tell me something so that I can trust you._

"I will do what I'm supposed to do. I will stop you."

A small bubble of laughter that welled suddenly burst through Athrun's throat before he could stop it, harsh and disbelieving, bitterness coating the back of his tongue insistently. This was what it tasted like, when somebody told you things that you no longer trusted. This was what it felt like when hope was presented to you but you could not take it. Kira sounded so convinced, so sure that he could that it was almost comical, his determinedness making Athrun want to laugh even harder. "You cannot stop me. No matter what your powers are, you are too inexperienced to stop me."

_A murderer like me..so don't throw your life away._

_Live and not survive._

_Not like me. Never ever like me._

"I will not give up. If those are the chains that hold you, I will break them." Kira vowed solemnly, his voice firm, beseeching Athrun to give him that one chance to prove himself worthy of Athrun's trust. And when he finished that sentence, Kira elbowed Athrun hard in the gut, and started sprinting towards where Patrick Zala was seated. His mind replaying the words Cagalli had spoken to him the night she had revealed more of Athrun to him alone. She had not pleaded with her brother, merely stated what she wanted him to do, not because she would force him if he did not want to, instead it was more of a blessing, a condition he could fall back on if anyone questioned his actions. Kira knew he did not need those words as proof, but he appreciated the gesture, his sister telling him that he was right and it strengthened his resolve to help the teen he had fallen for.

_Promise me you will try, save him if you can. _

_People did not deserve to __grow up the way he had to._

"Will you kill me again?" Kira asked softly, a whisper that floated into Athrun's stunned ears, his voice low enough for only one person to hear, one specific person that he wanted to save as he ran pass him and towards the target. "I want to love you."

_Things should not be this complicated. But it is, I will keep my promise to you, to everyone. I will not let anybody die. I will protect all of them._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_It was already starting…_

_The war that have to be stopped no matter what…_

_If there is a God, please protect my brother..._

Cagalli Yula Athha watched proudly at her brother sprinting away from Athrun and towards the man, devil, seated at the VIP seats, it was a dangerous task, one that had no guarantee for anybody's safety, and if in normal circumstances, she would not even allow these stupid idiotic moves, her rational mind screaming at her to take action, to stop the unnecessary sacrifices that she knew would come. But, the voices that whispered at the back of her mind had calmed her, reassured her before telling her that all these were indeed needed, that things would happen for what they were, before other important events could unfold. She did not want to trust them, a part of her will always fight tooth and nail at that unbased instincts, but, for now, this is what she had to do, this is her part to play.

_Please let everything turn out all right._

_Please don't let my brother be hurt._

_Please come back to us safely._

"Who are you?" Yzak Joule forced through gritted teeth to the girl who blazed like the sun, dazed from all those blows from before, everything hurting, especially his pride. "Go away. This fight is not over yet."

"It is over, you fool." Turning back to the other silver haired teen, Cagalli snapped at him, her amber eyes flashing with annoyance as she tried to hold him back down, wanting to smack him but not doing so in fear of aggravating his already seriously injured body. She needed something else to concentrate on instead of the impending doom that she knew would come. The other teen fought her with everything that he got, punches and kicks, and Cagalli had to congratulate him for his stubbornness and willpower. "Shut the hell up and let me tend to your wounds."

Her harsh words stung more than the wounds that adorned his body, the alphabets and letters joining together into a stream of fact and a reality he could not escape. He looked away, looking ashamed, not because he was thinking about his stupidity but at his weakness, at his inability to even go down as he should, like a warrior giving his life because of what he believed in. Instead now, he had to endure an unknown girl's judgement, sitting there like a whipped mama's boy who needed a _girl_to babysit him just because he could not do it himself. He would have gladly exchanged his life for this moment to just disappear before this girl's withering gaze that told him of her disapproval and blamed him on his own stupidity.

_What do you understand! What do you know!_ Yzak wanted to scream at this unknown busybody, this bitch who knew nothing. She could not understand, _girls_ never did.

"Good. Can you stand?" Cagalli asked him, her tone softer now, after she had checked him once over, noting whichever that needed more tending to, knowing what it felt to be the person beaten down. She noticed that most of the wounds were not as bad as she thought in the first place, most of them were superficial and merely bled a lot. On further inspection, she breathed out a sigh of relief, comforted by the fact that most of them had already stopped too, just leaving a rather horrifying sight of a teen painted in blood red. This bull would be woozy from the pain but he would not die because of it and would be all right in a day or two. "Hey, we need to get out of here, can you stand?" She repeated, readying to drape his arm over her shoulder to help him onto his feet so that she could get him out of this place and to Nicol's healing.

_What would he have if he had chosen the other path?_

_The other path that he knew he should have taken?_

_Was this regret?_

Yzak could hear the girl say something, felt pain radiate from every pore of his body, pouring out and over every inch of him, burning like bites from a colony of fire ants. Yet, none of it registered, not the blood that dripped into his eyes, not the soreness of his overworked body, only the humiliation and the feeling of disgust. He had thought he was better. He had thought that he had a fighting chance. He actually _believed_it. How cruel reality was, how incredibly futile all these were. What had he given up in order to gain this failure? What had he done?! He had let Dearkka Elsman go. He had hurt him and what had he got in return?Yzak's fingers curled up into fists, knuckles turning white with strain, his lips curled up into a taunting smirk that laughed at no one but himself. It was ironic really, all those crap motivational talks and that _need_ to be better. It seems that all those were delusions. Big fat lies that he had told himself over and over again, actually succeeding in making him think that they might contain an ounce of truth.

_Unfair! So unfair! _

Gritting his teeth, Yzak's ice blue eyes closed, not wanting to give up, wanting to push himself on more, not willing to be _just__this,_this no use second handed thrown away. This was not the path he had envisioned. This was not what he had given up to have. "Move! I'm not finished!" He wheezed out sounding and looking half mad, yet his blue eyes glittered with determination, an image that gained more cat whistles and calls from the unruly crowd. Yzak revelled in the attention, this was what he had been seeking, the fame, the power, the _attention._This was what he had chased after, he was now noticed. His chest heaving, panting from the exertion he was putting on his already fatigued body, pushing himself harder, much more, against his own pain, wanting to overcome that barrier. Just a little more, just that little more and he knew he could win.

He_needed_to.

He had to make it worth it. He had to fill the emptiness inside him. He staggered, like a drunken person onto his feet, wavering side to side, stumbling a few steps but stubbornly not willing to go down. Yzak's vision blurred as the dizziness increased from the loss of blood from the numerous wounds that was inflicted by Athrun's casual flick of the wrists and he raised a shaking hand to swipe the blood and the strands of silver hair out of his eyes. Cursing vehemently as his hand came away painted red, he shook away the dizziness, clamping harshly, biting on like a pit bull, on the principle that nothing mattered except glory. He noticed the blonde whom had disrupted the fight glare daggers him, her golden amber eyes spitting fire but he ignored her, just like he ignored everything else, because it was not Athrun. Athrun was the only one he wanted to fight with. Deep down inside, he knew he should be thankful that she had saved him, but his dignity did not allow her his gratitude, his pride scoffed at that idea that he needed saving. He could handle this.

"Stupid bastard." Cagalli gritted out, her expression murderous and unbelieving as Yzak slapped away her helping hand for him to stand. Could this idiot not see how wounded he was? He barely could stand properly and he still wanted to fight? What was with men and their blasted pride? Cagalli's hand itched to punch some sense into the stubborn bull, but grudgingly held back because part of her admired his spirit. That same part of her understood about not wanting to go down before the last count. Life was an occasion. Rise to it. That had always been her motto, and she guessed that it was this silver haired guy's too. However, she could not afford him to disrupt the two main characters, it was no longer his fight, it was theirs. Cagalli stepped in smoothly in front of the wild eyed silver haired teenager, blocking his passage effectively, her posture challenging and unafraid. She knew she could handle him, wounded as he is. Cagalli, forcing back a grin, knew that she did not need a finger to push him down too.

"What the hell are you doing?! Get. Out. Of. My. Way!" Yzak growled at her in frustration, furious that this girl, this air headed blonde, could stop him from proving himself. Who did she think she was? How dare she block his way! Looking at her confidence irked Yzak, he hated to be reminded of his failure, as her golden eyes glowing with that knowledge did exactly so. And that smirk plastered on her face, she was feeling so assured that saving him gave her the privilege to think that she was better than him. Yzak could clearly see the challenge in her eyes, her mirth at his failure. Everybody hated him. Everybody was out to get him. Nobody understood what it was to be the castaway, the failure, the plaything that had no value other than experiments, experiments and more experiments. God damn it. He was human. He hurt. He cried. He laughed. He should mean more to them than just a piece of meat! Yzak's vision blurred and this time it was no longer because of the blood loss, it was because of tears.

Frantically, he blinked them all away, his expression changing from disgust, to anger to pure undiluted hatred. In his eyes, Cagalli's image was replaced by those taunting, smirking, self loving scientist, those cruel eyes that burned colder than ice, he hated them, he despised them all, and he would _destroy_ them. Those who blocked his way, he would not allow them to do it anymore. In the past he was unable to retaliate, now he had power, he had the power to take them all! No longer thinking logically, he just wanted to lash out and create mayhem. Cagalli noticing the abrupt change in the teen in front of her, narrowed her eyes warily, she took in the various expressions that fleeted across his face and was stunned. What kind of life had this teenager led till those icy blue eyes held that same haunted look she saw in Athrun's past self during that delve in his memories? Why were all the people so traumatized? What had life done to them?

"Bitch." Yzak hissed, his eyes glazed over, a frightening porcelain mask that showed nothing except anger and hatred, his tone dripping venom as he started to step menacingly towards Cagalli. Cagalli felt a shiver travel down her spine, her mind whirling, spitting out strategies that did not involve the need to harm the already scarred teen. There was no backing out because she needed Athrun and Kira to be able to confront each other, and with Patrick Zala looking on, she had to stall for time. This was a risk that she had to take, hoping and wishing fervently that whatever Gods up there would allow the two of them to be able to work something out. She had done her part in the whole scheme to bring them together and now this was the next challenge, facing a slightly deranged teen who had replaced her image with something else. This part, Cagalli knew as she cocked her head slightly to the left, as if listening to somebody whispering into her ear.

"I will fight you." She stated, loud and clear, arrogant and proud, standing with her head held high, filled with the grace of a lioness she was and as regal as royalty. Yzak paused, his blue eyes widening before he shook his head, his mask cracking slightly as his eyes sent the images of this blonde haired girl to his brain. If this was what she want, he would give it to her, it was her payment for thinking him weak, he would prove to her once and for all that he would be the king of his realm, he would achieve his goals no matter how hard it was now. And then after he had beaten her, he would go after Athrun and finish what they had both started. He will not give up now.

"So be it."

* * *

Author's note: There a whole chapter dedicated to Kira and Athrun. Those bouncy gleeful plot bunnies refused to let up, and I had to keep changing and erasing parts that did not fit well to the flow. Hopefully.. now after so much self editing, this chapter,to you guys it does fit. But, I kind of wrote it in parts, so please do forgive me if the chapter seemed choppy or out of sync with the overall feel. And I sincerely hope you enjoy this latest installment.

What is to come: Patrick realises Kira is the creation of Meng, what would he do? Athrun knows that his past assassinations were part of a plan, but what plan is that? Would he follow his heart and set himself free? Or...


	24. I Care

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty Four

I Care

by:frost2light_  
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_Would it be all right if I stopped for awhile_

_Looking at the night sky I wished upon a star_

_Telling it the things I could not say_

_Hopelessly willing it away waiting for a clear day_

Kira Yamato took off at a dead run, pushing through the people who were standing in his way, dodging those who he knew he could not move. He passed women and men alike, all of them surprised and fully intrigued. All of them wanting to see what would happen next. Kira ignored all of those, having only one thought and one thought only - To stop Patrick Zala. Words do not play a role in situations like this, negotiations would simply just be a waste of time. And his only regret was that he had to kill. But, there were choices and then there were choices. He had no say in his birth, none on how his DNA would come out, but he would be damned if he did not make his own decisions about the people he cared for. Cagalli Yula Athha had not said it out loud, did not want to plant any suggestions in Kira's mind, but, Kira sensed what she wanted to say. There was no saving Athrun Zala without the man gone. Killing a person never made it right, and by crossing that one bridge, what if another situation like this arose? Would he hesitate to take the same road again? Or would he repeat his actions? He knew he had justifications, but a life is a life, no matter how much he warranted death. Therefore, this was his path, and he would walk it alone. Let his hands be dirty to allow others to be clean.

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_With a determined heart would you say_

_I'll save you no matter what_

_Because this is what I would tell you_

_Once twice every time you fall_

_No matter the price I will be there_

Athrun Zala knew without a doubt, even before Kira ran pass him in a whorl of cool determination, that this teen had set his mind on eliminating his father. He did not need to see Kira's stubbornly set jaw, violet eyes that focused solely on Patrick to know. He felt his chest tighten, confusion fighting for place with that warmth that grew from the bottom of his stomach and went upwards, melting the chill, making him feel… cherished, protected, saved, with that knowledge. He never had anyone do that for him so unselfishly, everyone wanted a piece of him, making him just a tool, just something to use. None of them had ever been willing to give a piece back, even his birth mother. She, too, had abandoned him to give herself freedom. It just made it clearer to him that he was a Devil's child, a sinner who did not deserve kindness, an abomination. None one should be allowed to play in God's Garden of genes. It was that confusion that made him nervous, made him loose his concentration, made him for that one moment in time wish he had more time to unravel the mystery that was Kira. He was the hunter, but why, why now when he was so close to killing the guy, had he turned to somebody he did not recognize?

_Give yourself a chance…._

Athrun shook his head, forcing himself to derail his own thoughts of wanting to just turn and walk away, away form his useless future, his hopeless present, away from all the conflicting emotions that he never knew that he would one day face. All of these made him weak, made him indecisive, made him feel once again like that little lost child from years ago, screaming and shouting and crying, helpless to even help himself, hoping that someone else would come and save him yet falling into a deep black abyss when nobody came. It was something that he had vowed he would never relapse into, never again would he be the one hurting, never. He had learnt so well to be able to contain his own emotions, bottle up all that he thought, replacing it with a mask that showed nothing but emptiness, distancing himself from everything and everyone, making him the outsider looking in through the glass that he had erected around him voluntarily. In doing so, he felt nothing, could feel nothing. Just a ghost passing through time, watching as humans destroy each other, lending a helping hand as the God of Death.

And, this was the time he replaced that mask, acted like the other alter ego he had, the character he had been forced to form, his other self, Shinigami, the one who revelled in the blood, the kill and the rush of power. This is the role he has to play in the eyes of the world, his performance as the stage was set. Athrun focused on the spot in front of Patrick, imagined his own body being dismantled and reforming at that one point, not liking the fact that he had to perform in front of so many people, becoming a public spectacle, preferring the shadows and stealth, but having no other way. He had wasted precious time delving into a self he did not need nor have. He had kept to the shadows for so long, keeping his abilities as secret as possible, only his victims knew, and dead people did not talk. They could not.

He could feel the change and the pleasure of the impending kill running through his veins like dark illegal poison, remembering the metallic stench of it, a scent, a perfume he wished he could bottle up and preserve. A small part of him despaired at how easy this was getting, changing his thoughts, becoming the ruthless and merciless Death God that took lives he wanted, his intensity changing, growing more violent, darker, and much much colder, too much alike those freezing, chilling ice that crushed anybody that blocked his way. He sensed more than saw the people that stood nearest to him take a few steps back, bumping into the others behind them, creating a scuffle that was almost comical. His lips curled up slowly into a perfect smile, a smile that did not reach his emerald green eyes, as he studied the distance between him and Patrick, his mind calculating the time he needed, knowing that it would be quite risky but enjoying the challenge. He gave no warning and just disappeared, he did not hear the intakes of breath, the surprised exclamations, and the silence that came after he re-materialised in front of Patrick. All he heard was his own slowly beating heart and Kira's breathing, his smile growing larger and wider, as he caught the knife Kira had slashed downward with his bare hands.

"You should not have done that." Athrun said softly, regretfully, but Kira could tell that his remorse was not at himself, not about the fight that was going to start, his glittering emerald green eyes depicting a very changed personality while his words betrayed an anticipation of yet another fight, yet another heady rush of power, of being omnipotent. This was no longer the Athrun that he had seen earlier, not the teen who was afraid and alone, wanting to be free but caught up in a web that bound him and choked him. This was the Death God Cagalli had told him about, the hand that had taken away so many lives and enjoyed the process, the baby of the man Kira hated so much it hurt. He wished he could turn back time, to be able to change the past to alter the present, but as those emotions flickered across his face, allowing the whole world to see, Athrun merely grinned savagely at the display and started to push as Patrick Zala settled back into his chair to enjoy and observe the fight.

_How splendid…..__let's see if this is all worth it._

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Cagalli Yula Athha's heart was beating so hard she would not be surprised if the other teen could hear it. She had heard the crowd's abnormal silence, realising without needing to turn her head that the battle between the two Ultimate Coordinators had started. She was so scared and worried about her brother, the brother she had only known for those miserable, pathetic few days. She knew that she probably looked incredibly calm and confident, a façade born from years of training as Orb's Representative because she was a stubborn, mule headed girl who did not want to give the patronising politicians a chance to amuse themselves when she fell flat on her face or to present to them a weak, prey worthy Cagalli. She had practised countless times in front of the mirror, staring at herself, steeling her eyes, giving her head a proud tilt until her eyes threatened to cross and she saw doubles and triples while her neck became so sore it creaked when she moved it. She did all these to hide the nervousness, the insecurity, the fear, but there was nothing she could do about her sweaty palms or the racing heart beat.

Cagalli swore with feeling inwardly at her own imagination which provided her images of death and disappointment, of a wounded Kira. She willed herself to not think about such unlucky images, promising herself that when all these stupidity was over, she would give herself a self imposed holiday, lock herself up with only her brother in a incredibly small house and experience everything that brothers and sisters do normally and take for granted- She would tease Kira till no end on his crush on Athrun, egg him to say things he would not say, bash him up with sisterly care just so that he would not be like Athrun and not experience love, squabble over little things like who's turn is it to control the television, bully him, make him do the laundry, the cleaning up, the cooking. Yes, especially the cooking. Cagalli was not proud to admit that she definitely could not cook. Raw food did not like her one little bit.

But, the main reason, and ultimately the most important reason, is to finally make him see and understand that he was not alone in the world, that the burden he forces himself to carry can be shared between many shoulders. She would teach him that lesson and make him remember even if it took every patience she had without resulting to hog tie him and slowly roast him over a pit fire just to get that simple knowledge into his brain. Cagalli smiled a little at that small bit of humour, but that small private gesture was mistaken by Yzak Joule who narrowed his eyes dangerously, his expression cold and filled with anger and hatred. Cagalli noticed it a little too late and mentally kicked herself for being so careless with someone so volatile. She did not know anything about the teen but she understood the logic about how lethal the wounded, trapped and proud animals could be.

"You think this is funny? You think that this is amusing?" Yzak Joule snarled out, his fists clenched so tightly Cagalli had no doubt about the marks that would be left behind. She did not bother replying, keeping her temper in check and studied the teen in front of her, absorbing the details on his flushed face, watching him stagger a few steps, gritting his teeth, pretending that there was nothing wrong even as waves of pain radiated from him. She wanted to formulate a plan, knowing that would be the most logical thing to do before fighting an opponent, taking in his weaknesses and strengths and trying to finish the match without needing to spend too much energy. However, unfortunately, she thought wryly as her mind refused to move that far ahead, that was usually what Hinata Yui did. It was her forte not Cagalli's. Cagalli's was to do one thing at the time. She was, no is, and will be, what Hinata described as the reaction not caution.

"Why? Don't you think it is? We are fighting because of your pride and I'm playing along because I have nothing better to do, both of us providing a show for lowlifes that cannot garner any pleasure except out of other people's pain. Don't you think that's amusing?" Cagalli taunted back intentionally while shrugging nonchalantly. "Or do you think this is worth my while? I'm fighting a wounded person who thinks he is so great and all mighty that he wants to continue even he should know that he would lose in the end. I'm wasting my time trying to prove that a girl is better than a guy, how pathetic can that be? I do think I have much better things to do with my precious time. Yet, I'm willing to sacrifice because I think you are a pitiful, sad creature who would not take advice gracefully. And therefore, I have to dirty my hands trying to beat some sense into your hard skull."

"You bitch!" Yzak screamed before launching himself towards Cagalli who sidestepped easily, "How dare you undermine me, all of you are the same! You think you are so much better off than me, so you can taunt and torture and step on everything around you. I have feelings, I have things that I want to do. I have dreams! But, to all of you! To all of you! I'm merely a lab rat!" Yzak shouted as he pummelled forward, throwing punch after punch, forgetting his wounds, his pain, remembering only those cruel eyes, those obnoxious and pitiless attitudes that made him wish he was never brought into this world. He felt his anger like a red hot poker that gutted him, making it hard to breath, making him only think of getting rid of the lump that choked him, wanting to vent it all out and destroy everything around him.

"You think you are the only one who suffered! You think you are the only who is wronged! Well sorry to not feel sorry for your excuses because you are the one to blame. You escaped, you ran away from all of it, its in the past you idiot! Why are you making it return to you after all this time?! Have you not found something that you would rather protect?! Have you not found something after all these years to cherish?!" Cagalli lashed out too with both words and action. She felt some of her blows landing on the other teen, hearing him grunt in pain, satisfied to know that her skills had yet to be too rusty.

"Protect?!" Yzak snorted out. "Who was there to protect me when I needed it?!" He snarled out, but even as the words left his mouth, a memory of a not too distant long ago made him pause. Dearkka's face appeared, his grin cocky and so sure of himself, bright violet eyes so warm and caring as the sunlight bounced off his blonde hair, making him so much like the sun, the sun that gave Yzak heat and dissipated the cold he felt.

"Dearkka Elsman…that was his name right?" Cagalli spoke softly, but her voice carried itself into Yzak's ears and he stared at her in surprise, all movement, attacks forgotten.

"How did you know?" He asked, incredulous, blue eyes wide and disbelieving, knowing he had never mentioned Dearkka's name before. Not with this blonde girl who reminded him of Dearkka. Her spirit was very much like Dearkka's, fiery bold and brave. Yzak stared at her before his mind started down onto yet another conspiracy theory against him. "Were you following us?! Were you checking up on me?!"

"Who do you think you are?!" Cagalli snapped in exasperation, "I do not spy, period. And even if I did, I would not do it to somebody not worth my time!" She huffed out, glaring at Yzak who glared murderously back, thinking how could someone be so full of himself and so wary of others?! But, in reality, Cagalli knew she could not blame him, she would be the same if somebody came up to her and told her that he or she knew things about her that she preferred to keep close to her heart. But, now really was not the time to dwell on what she would have done or reacted, she needed to get through to Yzak, she needed his help if things the Voices told her were to come true.

"So you say." Yzak sneered, his words dripping with undisputable contempt. But, even as heavily coated as it were, Cagalli could still sense that overall concern that lurked beneath, the kind of need or want to protect a loved one shying away from the surface but undeniably still there. And she was proven correct with the followings words Yzak could not help but blurt out, "If you did not, how the hell did you know Dearkka?! Don't you dare lay a finger on him."

"So you admit that he is important to you?" Cagalli skipped around his accusations to ask, her golden amber eyes so much like a hawk's steady gaze, as if looking straight into Yzak's soul, daring him to look away, confronting him, making him realise his own heart, needing him to accept the challenge.

"Why are you so afraid of admitting you need someone? And that someone needs you back?" She added softly, saddened by the fact that some people did not understand that simple logic. The war a few years back between Naturals and Coordinators happened because both parties did not understand each other and the reason was simple- They were entirely on two different levels. It was a pure, simple fact. Coordinators are an advanced race, their genes have been tweaked and improved, but they were still human. They still loved and laughed, hated and cried. So did the humans. They were weaker in physique, yes, not as smart, true, did not share the same genetic code, yet, when it boils down to the basics, they still hurt, they still felt. Jealousy and intolerance started the war, prejudices formed when suspicions arose, it was only natural and Cagalli did not blame anyone. It was written in history since time immemorial. But, that did not mean that those lessons could not be learnt. Understanding needs time, time that people should have to be able to sacrifice, just a little to put themselves in other people's shoes. Was that too much to ask?

Maybe she was naïve, maybe she was too innocent, but she had strived to make the place better for everyone, where differences could be accepted and respected. That was why Orb existed, so that people could learn to live with each other. Her father had pointed out to her while she was still young that humans cannot stay alone. They needed other human beings to bring out the best in them, to help them understand and learn, to make them feel safe, comforted in the knowledge that things, as bad as they seem, would be better tomorrow. It will be, as long as there were people who cared, who was willing to sacrifice just a little bit of their time and energy to make things better, people who stood by them and gave them the support they needed to start anew. He had always said, to be able to believe in someone was the ultimate gift a person could give the other. Believe that they would do the right thing, trust that they had some good in them and they will respond. Everyone needed someone to provide that unconditional trust, to know that there was somebody who believed in them to make the right decision, to have the potential to be the best that they could be. Some scoffed at that idea, insisted that having somebody to rely on made people weak, but have they ever stopped to consider what real strength was?

Cagalli knew about strength, seen it with her own eyes during that horrible time when dead bodies littered the street like garbage, while gunshots and exploding bombs rang clear and true in the night. She understood very well about the things people could do when one's loved ones were threatened, understood the power of love that kept a person on the verge of dying to not give up. That, to her, was true strength, immeasurable and invincible. Not brute force that made people succumb, not threats and violence that brought people to heel because of fear. Yet, it was sad to say that not many people shared her ideals anymore. In fact, in this world where power reined, it was so easy to talk the talk, but so hard to walk the walk. Tolerance in this day and age, was a dying tradition that came with the change in both lifestyle and the way people think.

"Is it so hard to admit that fact?"

"Don't you dare lay a finger upon him." Yzak warned, his voice low as his blue eyes flashed with promised violence if Cagalli dared to do anything.

"What would you do if I did?! You left him on his own. You. Left. Him." Cagalli flared back, angered by the hypocrite, pronouncing the words surely and certainly, pounding in a fact that Yzak already knew but wished to forget.

"It's none of your business." He muttered sullenly, suddenly not as loud as before.

"Are you sure it isn't? How can you be so blind and selfish?! You allowed him in, you gave him hope for a future! Don't tell me you did not know about his past. Don't tell me you have never seen the loneliness he allowed you to glimpse. You left him in danger. You left him to fend for himself when he was the only one you trusted and he you. You are no different than the people that you hate. You trampled on his feelings, took him for granted, treated him like dirt and most of all, you betrayed his trust."

"What do you know!" Yzak shouted back defensively, riled up by the accusations Cagalli threw at him, his humiliation turning into anger, "I could not bring him along. He would be a hindrance!"

"A hindrance?! You know nothing of a hindrance. You were his hindrance! You do not deserve somebody who placed you before everything else. He could have gotten out of Colony 5 a long time ago. He could have left you alone, went along his way. But, he stayed. He stayed to become your friend, your confidant, your partner in crime. He loved you because it was right for him. What about you, you coward?! Have vengeance clouded every logic that you have?! Have you thought nothing about what you had lost?! What can money and power bring you?! In the end, you will be a sad old man so bitter with the world with nothing to protect, nothing to cherish even with your power and money."

"Shut up. Shut up! Shut up!" Yzak screamed wildly, not wanting to listen to anything Cagalli said, hearing the truth nevertheless. Deep down, he knew, but having somebody, a stranger, rub it in made him mad and furious and ashamed. He wanted to howl to the skies, tear at his hair, curl up into a small ball and sob. He wanted to hide away, wanted to go back to the times when Dearkka, Miriallia and him were together. He had not realised that he missed them so much, that being alone hurt. It hurt so much it was beginning to tear him apart. But, he refused to admit it, because by admitting it meant that he had made a mistake, a mistake that could no longer be remedied. He was the one who had walked down the path, chosen it with his own judgements. The words Klueze said to him repeated itself over and over again in his head and Yzak no longer knew who he was denying those words as he muttered, "You are wrong. You are wrong!"

Cagalli watched Yzak who continued whispering angrily to himself as he tried to shut out her voice that pounded him, looking on as he shut his eyes tightly to close out her disapproving and disappointed expression. Yzak felt the power within him surge and ebb, like a wave, crashing at the barrier he imposed on himself to prevent misuse, feeling it creak and crack. He could not control the emotions that threatened his sanity, he looked around wildly, feeling the judgemental eyes of everyone around him, making him feel claustrophobic and closed in, like a trapped animal with nowhere to go. He needed to break free, needed to lash out, he could not stand this sense of crushing wrongness.

"No…no…all of you are wrong! I am not like them! I'm not like them!" He screamed.

"Yzak!" Cagalli shouted, noticing his oddity, cursing out loud when he failed to respond. It was once again her fault, she had open her mouth and successfully put her foot into it. She should not have pushed so hard, his emotional status was fragile to say the least, even though he tried to act tough, she should not have lost her temper, should have tried to keep it under rein.

"I am not like them."

"Yzak…"

"I am not like them."

"Snap out of it! Damn it!"

"I am not them." Yzak said for the last time before falling eerily silent, all movements ceasing, like the calm before a storm. Cagalli's warning bells started ringing loud and clear as she took a few steps back, hesitating to do more as the Voices in her head were quiet except for one word. Run. But, it was evidently too late to save herself, and nothing could stop her from feeling the sudden change in the air as if it getting denser, more compact, heavier. There was no warning before the air got choked out from her lungs as her chest felt as if a large stone had been placed upon it. Yzak's emotionless face spoke volumes of the impending destruction as people around them who were watching in amusement earlier started to choke and cough, trying to get air back into their lungs, realising too late that there was something wrong. Some of the weaker ones fell to their knees as their hands scrabbled at their throats, encountering nothing that brought the sensations of being choked alive. Cagalli forced herself to breath shallowly, to take in small breaths, trying to curb the overwhelming panic that one faces when that vital component was taken away. She watched their eyes widen in horror and fear before starting to bulge, their faces turning florid as their lips started to have a bluish tinge to it.

"Yzak!" She gasped out, determined to snap the boy back to his senses, trying to walk against that wall of something that she could not see. She forced her body to move, but it was like walking through layers and layers of wet concrete. She willed her legs to move step by step, trying to bring herself closer to silver haired teen and it was only then when she was slightly closer that she noticed the shimmering, dancing surface that created rainbows when the light bounced off it. Cagalli nearly stopped in awe at the beauty of the image, likening it to a room filled with sunlight and crystal prisms that gladly allowed the beams of light to reflect off it to create rainbow bursts of bright colour that shone and pierced one's eyes.

"_They are him…so bright and filled with beauty…yet powerful enough to harm…You must stop him" _

"_Save him from himself…"_

"_He will regret this when he awakes."_

The urgency in the Voices prompted Cagalli into action, making her move more determinedly towards the silver haired teen that seemed oblivious to her advancement, but, her good luck seemed to run out when his eyes suddenly refocused slowly on her, seeing yet unseeing. Cagalli felt an involuntary chill creeping down her spine, not enjoying any moment of Yzak's apparent scrutiny. She did not know what to do and her eyes tracked the movement of the dancing surface, it seemed to her that they were compacting into a small sphere, her eyes catching random movements in that small space as the Voices in her head rose into a frenzied pitch, creating a cacophony of Runs! Get out of the way! Cagalli wanted very much to heed them but she found herself falling, the last of her oxygen being sucked out and into the compacting 'something'. It was water, she realised dimly, her vision wavering and she began to see two's, three's of Yzak, separating and joining back again as the blood roaring in her ears almost drowned out the other noises. She felt her knees buckling, felt herself falling through the thick atmosphere as if in slow motion, felt Yzak's cold, satisfied smirk. She wanted to stop her fall, struggled to keep her eyes open and to make her limbs move, but it was too late and then she was on the ground. She felt the pain radiate from her left side where she had landed heavily with nothing to break her fall and started gasping like a fish without water.

"I am not them." Were the final words she heard before everything dimmed and went pitch black.

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* * *

Author's note: This chapter has been quite the devil to write,there was so much to get in, so much action and character that I wanted to insert in, but, in the end, it was shorter than my usual fanfare. Why?!!! But, I hope you guys like it, you know who you are. I truly appreciate the time and energy you spend on reviewing and please, this is something I have to say, please don't give up on me. I update irregularly and is quite late all the time, but I will finish this. I will.

Next: What will happen to Cagalli? Will anyone save her? Will the fight between Kira and Athrun resolve anything?


	25. Battle

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty Five

Battle  


by:frost2light

"Cheat! Cheat! Cheat!"

"You are a monster!"

"You do not deserve to live!"

The shocked gasps and stunned silence that followed Athrun Zala's teleportation gave way to horrified whispers and low rumbling by all those present, but soon escalated by one brave soul into a chanting spree. Athrun felt their words punch him, making him feel breathless and angry all at once, literally feeling the words bore into that small part of him that had never fully died. He hated Patrick Zala with a renewed fire, vengeance the only thing on his mind when all this was over and forgotten. And as Kira Yamato approached, he still pushed the hatred back into that deep dark recess of his mind and faced the teen. He did not want to fight, did not want to kill this inexperienced teen who just wanted to protect this worthless person standing in front of him. He did not deserve that honour no matter what the reason the Kira had made for him. There was no purpose in sacrificing one's self for something that was unimportant.

_Please stop Kira. I cannot hold back. Not here…._

"Get out of the way Kira. You do not stand a chance." His voice, so different from the internal anguish he was currently feeling, stated coldly, unemotionally, as if a warning that just came and could not be bothered if the opponent did not heed it. Athrun stepped a few steps back and to the left, shifting Kira's attention away from Patrick Zala who just sat there with not a worry on his face and watched both of them at action, his thoughts unreadable even to the people who were just beside him, taking in everything that was currently happening fastidiously, filing it away in that brain of his for future use.

"Don't waste time." Patrick's voice was cold, regal, like a king throwing a command to his servants, slaves that scrambled to grant his wishes. And before Kira's very own eyes, Athrun changed.

"You should not have done that." Athrun said softly, regretfully, but Kira could tell that his remorse was not at himself, not about the fight that was going to start, his glittering emerald green eyes depicting a very changed personality while his words betrayed an anticipation of yet another fight, yet another heady rush of power, of being omnipotent. This was no longer the Athrun that he had seen earlier, not the teen who was afraid and alone, wanting to be free but caught up in a web that bound him and choked him. This was the Death God Cagalli had told him about, the hand that had taken away so many lives and enjoyed the process, the baby of the man Kira hated so much it hurt. He wished he could turn back time, to be able to change the past to alter the present, but as those emotions flickered across his face, allowing the whole world to see, Athrun merely grinned savagely at the display and started to push.

Kira felt his muscles straining, the knife glinting evilly in front of them, taunting them to use it on the weaker. Athrun's grin widened fractionally almost as though he could understand the blade's persuasion. Knowing that he would not win the battle of strengths, he had to find another way to get to Patrick. Kira let go all of the sudden, sidestepping and throwing Athrun off balance, using Athrun's momentum to make him lose his footing. Athrun who had placed more weight on the front felt himself fall forward, the sudden disappearance of the brown haired boy the cause. Kira took hold of this opportunity to push Athrun's body from the side, turning a neat half circle, like a basketball player needing to evade a guard blocking his path to victory. He started but was once again blocked by Athrun who had teleported from where he had stumbled, his grin in full display.

"I did not think you had that up your sleeve. Apparently you are not just all brawn."

"Thank you for your compliment." Kira said grimly before feinting to his left, but Athrun caught his bluff. It was beginning to feel like a fight like all others. Punches and kicks, blocks and feints, always trying to best the other opponent, looking for the one opportunity to put the other down. Athrun was circling Kira, his eyes locked on a target like a heat seeking missile. He moved like a panther, lithe, graceful, lethal, no wasted movements, coiled tight like a spring, ready to leap at a moment's notice to strike. Kira noticed that the people in the room had quietened, no longer spouting hurtful words, and gathered once more around where they were, but giving them a very noticeable wide berth. They were hypocrites, each and every one of them, sensing danger, but like moths to a flame, they still seek the thrill that came. A small percentage of the whole in the room had stayed back to watch Cagalli Yula Athha and Yzak Joule, Kira hoped in his heart that Cagalli was faring way better than him because he had no time to check.

"Are you regretting it now?" Athrun's voice travelled from his end to Kira's ears, closing the distance between them with its rich tenor. Kira did not bother replying, knowing it was just another waste of energy. Instead, he took in his situation and the geography, trying to come up with a workable plan that would get him to where Patrick Zala was. What he knew was that both of them were near the communion rail and what used to be the altar of the church where currently two men sat with another standing, a bodyguard with a mask. Meanwhile, the space where Kira was like a deer being stalked by the black predator was one small part of the huge expanse of floor that supposedly held benches for the devotees to sit on and where a choir used to sing like angels and lifted spirits of people tired in both spirit and mind.

However, through time, all that was left was scuff marks left by thieves that came in for a quick hunt for cash, sturdy oak that stood as permanent fixtures proved that determination could overcome all, disappearing into weather beaten trucks and whooping loud music that rocked the walls. Dust coated every inch of the place, displaced only by the people who came during events such as these. Gone were the pale marble statues that represented love placed here for worshipping, the illuminating glow of lighted candles given life to bring hope, and windows that once upon a time had allowed sunlight in to bathe the church a warm glow. All of them were now stained and cracked, some missing parts of blue, green or golden. It had been a home to people, a sanctuary that they thought all would respect, but evidently, it was no religious spot anymore, it was only a place where the aimless and homeless came. No God lived here now, only people possessed by demons and running on hate.

It was a pitiful scene, one that saddened Kira immensely. He was not a particularly religious person, but he respected and loved the way religion brought everybody together. In a church, or in anywhere else, a temple, a hut, it did not matter. They were as one, followers learning about good and evil, where the black was dark and white a ray of light. To him, what was happening now was like defilement to the purity that ought to have existed here, a place where once people prayed for the better, now humans planned for the worst. He had expected something else for a venue, a bar, a casino, but never this. It seemed that human's atrociousness and depravity was just another leap away from their own doom.

"What are you preoccupied about? You really should pay more attention to your enemy. A life can end when you lay bleeding on the floor. I have shown you before, haven't I?"

"Thank you for your advice." Kira said, not sarcastically, just sad. He was about a few feet from Patrick, his distance allowing him to see what was etched on the man's face. He had been handsome once, the features telling him the tale. Even till now, he was not the stereotypical scientist with a huge gut hanging over his pants and half bald with owlish spectacles that always drooped. In fact, Patrick Zala aged incredibly well. Possessing a full head of hair, peppered with grey at the sides, he portrayed an aristocratic, distinguished gentleman who frequents the opera and organises charity fundraising to the max. But, there were tell tale signs that told a different part of a story. Kira could see the cruel downward twist at the lips that pointed to violence and bitterness, the deep furrows between his eyebrows that indicated a permanent frown and most of all the lack of kindness in his pair of eyes.

"You are not going to make the first move." Athrun stated matter a fact, wondering where the fire had gone. The teen had brushed him off before, rushing pass him as if devils were on his tails, heading straight towards the man sitting not far from them, but had stopped when Athrun teleported, just standing there looking at him with those gentle violet eyes that Athrun the Death God hated. Kira was filled with contradictions that he wanted to unravel, his curiousity left unsatisfied every time he had to push that urge away, like now. "If you are not going to attack, then I will."

He disappeared in a blur and reappeared behind Kira who whirled and defended, both of them exchanging a flurry of attacks, high kicks and lots of ducking. Athrun clearly had the upper hand in physical shape while Kira on the other hand had already starting to pant. Athrun allowed no rest for his opponent and started up again with an elegant sweep of his left leg, aiming to trip the other brown haired teen. Kira dodged, not having any fancy moves or ideas on how to beat him to arm to arm combat, he had been trained in the past, been put through endless hours of those but his body had forgotten most of it even if his brain haven't. In his mind, he pictured himself performing flawless black flips and somersaults that vaulted him far and away those powerful attacks but in reality, compared to Athrun he was a lame duck that limped instead of the usual waddling, quite pathetic really. And he knew Athrun felt the same way too.

Kira was already feeling the effects, his hands and legs stinging where Athrun had punched and he blocked, it was inevitable that one would find its mark and leave him paralysed with the breath forced out from his lungs. He had a feeling that Athrun was going light on him and he was both insulted and relieved. Kira knew the limits of his own boundaries and they clearly were coming straight to him with no holding back on the brakes. He had to use his abilities if he wanted to combat on an even par with Athrun who was using more of his teleportation skills. It made Kira wonder if that was all he could do because it did not seem wise for someone to keep using the same trick twice, albeit a very useful trick. It was made for stealth, for surprise and Athrun clearly did not have one now. He seemed to be hiding something up his sleeve, an ace that he would reveal only to the very last. Finding out would be Kira's second objective, but he hoped that he could live long enough to remember it and come up with a countermeasure if he ever needed to face it again.

"You are thinking too much again." Athrun said as he came in for another blow, this time catching Kira right in his midsection, a slight tap for Athrun but one that sent Kira sprawling backwards into some of the onlookers. All of them scattered and dispersed, not one willing to help. Kira felt the pain travel from his stomach into his brain, bursting like the first of July fireworks as he worked hard to catch his breath, wiping away a trail of blood that formed a small stream down his split lip. He pushed himself up and away from the ground, not wanting to look at the people who had stayed to watch a freak show, afraid for their own safety but nevertheless wanting to continue because this was something new. Kira need not have looked to know what they were thinking, the disgust and horror and wariness could be felt so easily in the still, dank, polluted air.

"You can still stand."

"You were going easy on me."

"You could tell?"

"Did you wish for the opposite?"

"You have a sense of humour for someone who walks a thin line between life and death. If you don't get serious, you won't have any more chance."

"Why are you giving me that chance?"

"Should I even answer that question?"

"Patrick Zala doesn't own you and you don't owe him."

"Are we back to talking again?"

"I wish we could."

"Dream on."

And it all started again with Athrun attacking. But, this time, there was something different. Kira no longer dodged, he merely stood where he was but Athrun, for some peculiar reason, could get nothing onto the teen. It seemed as if the air was deflecting his blows, throwing it towards the side instead of the original middle where he planned for the fists to land. Athrun narrowed his eyes, knowing that things had escalated to a higher level of difficulty and rejoiced. Before this, it had been too easy; now, he too could play less and work more. Sensing more than knowing that Kira had started to use his abilities to form a barrier in front, Athrun wondered if he had that protection all around. He started going in from all directions, flashing in like a blinding out and disappearing the next, his knife out in his right hand, a sign that he was no longer toying with the teen.

Patrick who took it all in continued to watch like the outsider he was, taking in details, rating how Athrun was performing on different situations until he saw Kira get up from the floor from the punch and made Athrun miss. Not once, twice but many times in a row. Taken aback, he had never seen this happen before which made him sit up straighter and pay attention, both figuratively and literally. Before this, the whole fight had been just another somewhat entertaining yet easily predicted show, the outcome usually being Athrun's opponent dead or dying. Besides, it was rather exhilarating to know that you are just that one step from death, knowing that you have done enough things, _big_ things that warranted somebody to come after your life, however pathetic that life was. And, most of all, it was even more empowering when that pathetic life had somebody, no something, he had never viewed Athrun as a person, only a tool, a weapon, but mostly an experiment, to protect it. Watching Athrun do everything that it could to spare his life was quite heady, to say the least.

However, behind those feelings came a more disturbed one, one that was unidentifiable and curled around his stomach before settling there like a dead weight. Patrick was feeling disturbed, because the boy seemed familiar, his expression of stubbornness, determination, it all reminded Patrick of someone that he had known a long time ago, a certain individual he had risked his life to save and yet voluntarily ended it because he was no longer useful for his cause as no one needed a traitor in their midst. His mind replayed one image, over and over again, overlapping quite coincidentally with the face in front of him, and without a doubt, Patrick knew who the brown haired boy resembled- Meng, his protégé, his victim, and the one who had betrayed his trust.

Pushing away his assumption, Patrick continued to observe the fights that continued on ferociously, ignoring all others, gathering information for him to determine the danger of the brown haired boy and to finalise his earlier presumption. He had seen with his eyes the knife stop and the way Athrun's attacks bounce off Kira as if he was enveloped in a bubble shield all round. He had to confirm that fact himself before he could make further decisions. Undeniably, Meng had been somebody methodical and learnt fast, he was also a genius in his own right, if he had been allowed to live by God, he would have surpassed Patrick without a doubt. Patrick had been able to see that promise long before Meng had started to defy his actions.

Caught up within his thoughts, Patrick did not notice the changes of expression Murata Azrael had on his face and was startled when Murata snapped out loud, finally succumbing to the panic and fear with having two insane people with noticeable abnormal abilities battling it out right in front of him. "What are they doing Patrick! This was not in the books. Get rid of them!"

Patrick turned his head, ready to snap at Murata's sudden disturbance, but his annoyance and exasperation evaporated when he had the chance to watch Murata cower with fright at the nearness of the two fighting boys. Patrick was satisfied by the way Murata could not hold in his nervousness as yet another particularly near punch nearly came his way. He observed with a barely suppressed glee as Murata frantically hid behind his bodyguard's back, fearing for his own safety. Murata's terror was not without basis, even he could feel the wind and the power behind that punch, a very concrete proof of the determination the brown haired teen had as he faced down with the champion of the ring. Hiding the smirk, he merely raised his hand as an acknowledgment before turning away to concentrate on the ongoing fight.

Murata gave Patrick quite a comically baffled look when Patrick blithely ignored his commands, stunned by the way Patrick treated him like a child. Klueze nearly snorted in amusement when Murata, finally realising what was happening, forgot his fear for the moment and started spluttering in indignation and anger, really like a child that he was. He visibly tried to compose himself, succeeding quite admirably, except for the tightly clenched fists and pressed lips. His cornflower blue eyes growing colder and colder by the minute, no doubt engraving into his memory this particularly humiliating experience and the patronising words Patrick was still murmuring under his breath in a very fake way of providing comfort. Klueze knew without a doubt that this blonde haired man was already plotting his revenge on the other arrogant man. If Klueze was honest, he would admit readily how similar the two men were. And as if reading Klueze's thoughts, Murata turned slowly towards him before speaking in that awfully sweet syrupy voice that Klueze detested.

"Enjoying the show Klueze? It really is the front seat wouldn't you agree? See anything particular that you like? If memory doesn't fail me, it seems that the prize that you were harping on and on so enthusiastically is quite out of the picture. You do know what would happen if you continue to fail today right?" Murata said, his voice no longer high pitched and afraid, syllables pronounced with that lazy drawl that disillusioned others, ending with a smile that never quite reached his eyes that resembled cold, black flint.

Klueze gave him a stiff nod, his eyes never leaving the fight, understanding the way the boss needed to have his ego assured that he had, at least, one man under his control. But, even he knew that he could not hide his resentment and contempt for the man and Murata knew it, making it all the more sweet for him. It was with extreme effort in which Klueze forced himself to bite back scathing and sarcastic remarks that wanted freedom and to remain silent, his eyes showing only contempt and resentment. He nodded once to show that he understood Murata's command and proceeded to inch slightly forward.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

They were sitting in a rented car, dark green in colour with registration plates that told the passer bys that it was local, hidden partially by the tinted glasses of that vehicle with the engine running. Normally, people would get suspicious if there were cars idling around the neighbourhood, the crime rate climbing steadily over the years, yet, in this particular part of town, none of the people walking pass with hurried steps and hunched shoulders had given them a second glance, in fact, they had went out of their way to give them a wide berth. To them, it was all too normal to have people parking around the streets and them to mind their own business. It was not a hobby of theirs to get killed because of curiousity, a mindset that had been engrained into their brains through force, experience and bad luck. The only ones who had looked at them suspiciously with half lidded eyes were the regulars that hung around the back alleys.

"This is not a strategic place for us." Hinata Yui murmured to herself, her fingers on her right hand tapping a nervous rhythm on the dashboard as her other clutched harder at the holster holding the revolver she had placed in her lap under her jacket for emergencies. The gun belonged to her, registered legally under her name, but she had never the opportunity to use it on anything except targets. And for that she was extremely thankful. Admittedly, she was not a bad shot, patiently enduring the lessons her father had persistently hounded her to take for her own good. She appreciated his concern and had obliged but, to her, using a gun was always the last choice, she preferred a more peaceful way to do things and had avoided most situations that needed a weapon on hand. She was not afraid to use the gun nor was she a coward, but she was not in the least bit deluded on how brief one's life could be.

"I agree totally." Nicol Amalfi answered unexpectedly to Hinata's observation, his voice gentle. But Hinata detected that tense undercurrent that flowed just beneath the surface and she knew what Nicol's eyes were taking in. For the most part, the buildings around them showed signs of neglect and age, the paint peeling off in most places while vulgar graffiti and artistic ventures battled for dominance on both the street pavement and any empty space that could be used. The streetlights that dotted the street were mostly destroyed, the glass casings which provided shelter to the light bulbs all but shattered, its fragments littering the ground, catching the light once in a while, glinting. Only one stood pathetically whole and provided a dim light which flickered on and off, threatening to die one way or another.

"Do you know how to defend yourself?" She asked bluntly but not harshly, never meaning to be rude, hoping that Nicol did not take offence while she tried to get a feel of their situation. She knew that they were sitting on a time bomb that could explode any moment and she preferred to know what she was getting herself into. There were instances where she could not prevent things to happen, a perfect example being their location- all of them were in a neighbourhood that had policeman choosing straws to go on duty, even turning a blind eye to the illegal activities that went on, either that or taking part and getting way too fat for their own good with the money. The illegal fighting that was going on was currently placed in an abandoned church, the space wide enough for people to make it lively and for fighters to kill each other. The people that lurked around at this time were mostly drug addicts or dealers who were looking for yet another wad of cash. Neither one of them providing any comfort to Hinata.

Nicol smiled before allying her worries, not taking the comment as an insult at all. "I can fight well enough to not be a burden."

Hinata returned with a quirk of hers lips, her expression slightly sheepish, "I'm sorry. I did not mean to be sarcastic."

"Apology accepted." Nicol said with a wry grin, thankful that both of them were making conversation. It was getting unbearable with the silence. "And I understand." Nicol added, his eyes flickering towards the outside before returning to hold Hinata's dark orbs with his own, expression wishful and sad at the same time. "I hate the waiting too."

"You don't ever seem to have other emotions other than that gentleness." Hinata observed, her own lips curling up, trying to change the subject, not wanting to discuss the situation at hand. She liked Nicol Amalfi, he brought to her the sense of peace, inner calm that she lacked whenever Cagalli's life was on the line. He seemed to be the oldest of the group, knowing much more than Cagalli before the voices intervened. He was the one who knew the one who had created all these children, the test tube babies with tweaked genes. She could not imagine Nicol having a better or more suitable ability than healing. It suited him somehow, a part of him that Hinata could easily realise and guess if she ever had to.

"Do I?" Nicol said a self deprecating way, humour peppering his words, "I certainly do not feel that way. In fact, I thought you could hear my heart tripping over itself at how fast it's going."

"Do you play the piano?" She asked all of a sudden, her own question surprising her as she opened her mouth to apologize for prying.

Nicol smiled, waving away her unsaid apology before answering, "Somebody told me once that I have an aura of music around me."

"That person is quite observant." Hinata replied, agreeing as Nicol chuckled. But, a shadow fell upon his good looking face and Hinata needed no explanation.

"Music seems to be the best way for me to relax." Nicol said, his voice slightly poignant as he reminiscence about the past, "Meng sensei arranged for piano lessons and I have never regretted those days. They were the happiest in my life and when I was young, I had a dream to become a world class pianist one day…but it seems that things have been thrown out of track for the moment."

Hinata did not know how to respond to that, did not know words of comfort when faced in situations like this. She knew how stupid it would sound if she said that things would be better in the future and how much a hypocrite she would become if she said that she understood because clearly she did not. She did not understand what it was to loose something that you loved. Sighing soundlessly, she turned away, not wanting to look at the other teen who sat across from her in the driver's seat, but the image danced in her head all the same. Nicol had a pair of doe like brown eyes that were ever kind, mud green hair that looked perpetually ruffled, slight curls in some ends which gave him a mischievous, boyish look, a cherub, cupid with bows. But, ever present too was the seriousness in his face that took away the child part of him and for a moment Hinata felt a pang of regret for all of the teens who were dragged involuntarily into this unholy mess. Keeping her eyes downcast as the fingers which were drumming impatiently slowed, fluttering on more gently, as if playing an imaginary piano but coming to an end soon.

Nicol allowed the silence to continue, knowing that if Hinata wanted to talk, she would and he, in return, would listen. It was a responsibility that he had agreed to because deep down inside Cagalli probably knew that Hinata had not come to terms about the fact that there were people with supernatural powers, therefore instinctively fearing them, though unconsciously. She had wanted Hinata to stay back to prevent her from seeing things that would scare her, it was not that Cagalli mistrusted her, or that Hinata was a coward, but it was for the best. And Nicol agreed. Hinata did not understand the depth of their abilities, all she knew was that they were different. Making her see what they could do firsthand without her accepting it first, would only make things worst.

"May I ask a personal question?" Hinata's voice was tentative, almost afraid, unlike her earlier outburst, her eyes staring ahead into her lap, not focusing on anything, just looking, which told Nicol about the depth and touchiness on the subject about to be breached and he knew what she wanted to ask and gave her the permission, knowing it was courtesy that prompted Hinata's question and he appreciated that gesture. "Go ahead."

Hinata paused, trying to grasp hold of the thoughts that were flitting in her mind like swallows, diving and soaring, so tantalisingly out of reach while she was on the ground, too slow and far to catch any one. She cleared her throat uncomfortably, not knowing where to start, too many questions with no answers and prying had never been a habit of hers. Getting more and more frustrated by the minute, Hinata cursed her inability to think at this current moment. She had always prided herself on her calm, but where were they when she needed them?

"Take your time, just ask me what you want to know." Nicol provided as if reading her mind, his words filled with a gentleness that made Hinata want to tear up at the unfairness of this world.

"Cagalli…she was an experiment…isn't she?"

"Yes, all of us are."

"Why Kira? Why Cagalli? Why you?" The three questions that were blurted out were bitter; the intonation filled with despair that Nicol wish he could ease. These questions that Hinata had given him, were the ones that he had asked too many times to keep count, wondering and pondering what God had in for them or was it merely a prank pulled by some bored deities up there. Since the day he was born, since Kira needing to rely on his medication to placate the symptoms of his powers reactivating, and the whole mess they were in, he had asked those questions, but, funnily, the more he chased after the elusive answers, the more they avoided him. But, there were things that he could change, and there were things that could not be helped, he knew that he had to accept the fact that they would probably be in this nightmare for as long as it took to wake up, but, even through it all, he was glad. Not because he was a masochist, but because…

"We cannot change that Hinata but you, you are not involved in this. You can go any time."

"Is that why I was left behind in this car?"

"Do you want the truth?"

"I know the truth, I just didn't want to confirm it."

"Hinata, Cagalli wanted you to stay behind to give you a choice."

"She should know better."

"She knows, which is why she needs to do this."

"I don't understand."

"Hinata, you are _normal_. You don't have tweaked genes which provide you with supernatural abilities, you don't need to worry about how people's eyes would look at you if they get to know about the real you. Existing like this, like us, forever different from everybody else, hiding away from their eyes, taking so much care to hide in the shadows, what is there to be proud of? In the future, when the cat is out of the bag, which it soon will be, we might be the cause of yet another senseless war, we don't want you to be pulled into this quicksand with no way out."

"No…"Hinata squeezed out, her face pale and drawn, stricken at how Nicol had put the truth that she had been avoiding into words that made her face the reality. She had thought she had overcome her feelings, her doubts, and would be over that part. She cared so much about Cagalli, think of her as a sister she never had and she knew that she did not fear her….now. But, what about the future, could she accept that part of Cagalli? Or would she one day turn against her? People were fickle minded creatures, one's loyalty only there today and gone the next.

Pushing on relentlessly, knowing that he needed to do so to get his point across, to make sure Hinata really understood, he continued, ""We are freaks Hinata. Freaks. That will be Cagalli's name if people found out. That will be our burdens, our differences summarized into such an ugly sounding word. That is us. Kira can kill with his powers if he was not careful. Cagalli can overturn anyone with what she can learn as knowledge has always been the most frightful weapon. Individually, either one of them have more than enough to take on the world, can you imagine what both of them combined could do?"

Nicol knew he sounded harsh and uncompromising, but Hinata needed not soft words of comfort, she had to face the reality of the future which he knew would come eventually, especially if the battle was prolonged and Patrick Zala succeeded with his plan. He allowed a slight pause, giving Hinata time to imagine the results and was not the least bit happy or satisfied when he saw the shudder that ran through her. He did not enjoy frightening her, but this was a real case scenario. Cagalli had taken him aside and had asked him, almost pleading with him to convince Hinata to stay away. He had refused initially, but had relented in the end because he knew that Cagalli could not bring herself to do it. All of them were selfish, all of them wanted,_needed,_ somebody they could rely on.

Lowering his voice to almost a whisper, Nicol knew that this was the last few sentences that he would say, and after that, it was up to Hinata. He did not like doing this, felt incredibly guilty by turning Cagalli's best friend against her, but this was his job, his responsibility, his chain around his neck, and there was no turning back. Straightening, his brown eyes caught Hinata's in a steady gaze, imploring her to understand the whole situation, showing her only the stark, naked truth, no matter how ugly it was. She deserved the truth more than the sugar coated lies that she was willing to believe, and then allow her to choose her own path, her own future.

_So be it, from here onwards it will be up to her._

_Please forgive me Cagalli…please forgive me if I could not tell her to stay._

"Hinata, they could destroy anything and everything. They can do whatever they wanted to and no one would be able to stand up to them. Won't you be afraid of them then? Won't you think that they could be a threat to the society? Won't you hate them? And me Hinata, I can heal. But, what if I don't want to heal those who need my help? What if I stood to one side and laughed at their faces watching their desperation? Or gave them a choice by pitching war against one another just for my amusement? What then?" He finished softly, his own choice of words unsettling him. But all of them were spun from the truth, not theatrical, melodramatic, over the top things you usually saw on television. These really were the demons they will have to fight when the heady sense of power comes into play.

_I do not know myself if I were to stay true…._

"Shut up. Shut up! Why are you doing this?!" Hinata vented her voice lost and empty as she valiantly fought back the tears that were welling unbidden. She did not want to cry, not when Nicol and the others thought she was not strong enough. She knew she could let go, pull herself out before things got even worst, go back to her job in Orb, but the bigger part of her, the part that felt her heart breaking whenever she thought that she would need to leave Cagalli behind, did not want to leave. She would stand by them, support them, but did they need her? Personally, deep down inside, on the gut instinct level, she believed that none of them would be what Nicol had described. It was preposterous, they were people who fought for the good, never straying, never taking the easy way out. The proof was right in front of her, Kira and Cagalli, with nothing but bravery, heart and concern for a teen they barely knew, they were trying to save him, to bring him away from the dark and into the light, even if he did not want it.

_But they might. Not now, maybe, but in the future._

_So stop them. Trust in her as she trusts in you. Bring them back if they walk down the wrong path. Show them they need not be alone.._

"You are wrong…Nicol…" She ventured, first weakly but getting stronger by the moment, her decision made. She cursed herself for not noticing the strain that etched itself in Nicol's face, the pain that hid behind that strong façade he tried to hoax her into believing. Her dark orbs glinting with the tears but with a determination and sincerity that touched Nicol. He knew Hinata had made up her mind, and no matter what happened, she would not be swayed from it again. She was that type of person. If Cagalli was made of fire, then she will be the air that fanned the fire, the one that would sustain the need to be where the heart was. And Nicol was proud. Cagalli had made a very good friend indeed.

"Thank you." Three simple words, spoken with such a relief and gratitude that Hinata wished she could just hug the teen. Those words alone told Hinata how much they, all of them, had been hoping for, they did need her, maybe not on the front lines, never as a soldier, but as a friend, as the emotional support that only she could give. If she, as somebody close to them, could not accept them, what are there to say about the others who barely knew them? She did have a choice, either to stay or leave, but she had willingly opted to be here, determined to at least lift some burden of theirs, realising that no matter how many there were, none of their shoulders were broad enough to carry the whole world. She vowed to return the trust and willingly do so, not because she had to, but because she wanted to.

"Don't you ever dare to do that to me again, I do not have that strong a heart to keep on with these games." Hinata chided Nicol, her dark eyes flashing, not with anger but with a determination and humour that Nicol appreciated. The air in the car was laden down with an atmosphere so heavy it could crush anyone alive, and it was a great relief to see it lighten up. She continued as she used the back of her hand to wipe the rest of the tears that dampen her eyelashes, "I deserve better than that, and that Cagalli. I will personally skin her alive, after I hug her to death first. Don't you even dare stop me, though I doubt you would, a woman's wrath should never be underestimated."

Rolling her eyes skyward before looking affectionately at Nicol who had the tendency to blush and grin back sheepishly, Hinata left the best for last, "Freaks. What a word. But, you are right, all of you are freaks, including me. But I love Cagalli and you, and Kira, both of you are the most loyal, most caring people I have ever met. Don't you ever dare change in that sense, don't you ever doubt yourself. Don't you ever think that you will become the people that you fear…you are not alone in this…

…. because we are family."

Nicol merely smiled and nodded, no words were needed. It was like a television sitcom where the endings were so cliché and cheesy, but no matter how feel good it may sound, or pretentious, there was nothing to doubt about Hinata's sincerity. Cagalli would be glad, no, she would be more than glad, she would be _ecstatic_. No doubt about that. Nicol could just imagine the both of them- the matured elder sister and the fiery cub, batting at each other, worrying too much, just wanting everything to be the best for any one of them. The questions that Hinata and him had asked all this while, they did not need answers, being a beginning on a path to where all of them belonged. Nobody ever said that being a family was easy, it required patience and sacrifice, especially in bad times. Moreover, this situation was worst than bad, but that did not matter.

_That's right. That's the only good thing that came out of this situation…._

_All of them have finally found a place where they belonged, a name that would stick._

_Family._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

The conversion that had been taking place was fast turning into one infinitely worst nightmare. Montage Dirge stared helplessly into the screen as Lacus Clyne's blue eyes pinned him like a bug under a microscope. He had two choices; one was to terminate the conversation, blame it on the useless telecommunications system or secondly, to answer whatever Lacus Clyne wanted him to and be free of the internal dispute between two power figures. The former option was quite appealing and his finger itched to do so, but, every one knew that Orbs boasted on their ability with electronics, therefore, making this sudden telecommunications breakdown quite implausible. Moreover, the backlash of that childish notion was too much a risk to take. Montage knew it for a fact that Lacus was definitely not someone to be played with.

_Stall._

"Are you trying to come up with a story Representative? Wouldn't it be much easier to come up with the truth?" Lacus was fast losing her patience and she wondered if it was time to bring in a little enforcement on Montage's side.

"No, of course not, but what is there to say? Your accusations are slightly on the absurd side don't you think? I have been dealing with only you, you have to trust me. I'm not double crossing anyone." Montage said, trying to laugh jovially, but ended up sounding weak, flat and forced.

"Representative Dirge, you are starting to try my patience, are you or are you not about to answer the questions that I have just asked?" Lacus repeated softly, but Montage knew he would be a fool to misinterpret the soft tone with weakness, with forgiveness. The soft musical lilt to Lacus's voice did nothing to mask the menacing undercurrent that weaved itself so well with the words.

Lacus could hear the seconds ticking by as silence filled the entire room, even Yukito, who was present, seemed transfixed by the whole proceeding, as though waiting, waiting for something that Lacus could not put her finger on, even though his face remained as impassive as ever. Lacus felt her fingers slowly curl into a fist that she kept hidden from the camera that broadcasted her image to the other and from Yukito. She was trying hard to rein in her temper, knowing that it was unwise to flare up. But, it irked her to no end to look at this snivelling coward, waiting for him to cook up some pathetic excuse about the lies that Ishida Toshiro had so intricately wove around her. But, no matter the logic about the whole situation, her patience was fraying dangerously thin around the edges. She would only need for just one push for it to break.

"Representative Dirge, do you or do you not have the answers to the questions?"

"I…I…"

"Do you or do you not, Representative Dirge?"

"Are you threatening me Lacus Clyne?" He blurted out, trying to pull his way out of the mess that he was currently neck deep in.

"Oh? On what basis Representative?" Lacus fenced back, slightly surprised that Montage still had it in him to say something back.

"Is this not a threat?" He countered, chest heaving as his eyes tried to keep in contact with Lacus's.

"My, my." Lacus said, as her smile, brilliant like the sun flashed unto the screen, " A threat is when you are in danger Representative, how can I pose a threat to you when I'm on the other side of the screen? But, unless, this equation is added with another person…"

"What other person?" Montage asked, catching on quickly, his tone more afraid than accusatory. A knock on his office's door and a humble good morning accompanied with the delicious smell of freshly brewed coffee answered his question.

"Michelle, you are in early." Montage's voice was squeaky with relief, his body which had been half in and out of the chair slumping back into its comfortable leather. He had been ready to rush towards the door, a fool's option in Lacus's opinion, but she allowed him his moment of relaxation.

"Morning Representative Dirge. Your mail and your coffee, one spoon of sugar and no cream, just as you like it." Michelle murmured, her voice filled with reverence, politeness and just a bit of adoration, just like the kind of female that would praise their men to the skies and pamper their every whim and fancy. It was exactly that reason in which Montage had hired Michelle. Small boned and barely reaching five feet, she was the epitome of what a woman should be, slight, small, pretty, but with plenty of curves. Even while facing him, her eyes never really looked directly into Montage's, always with her head down, never challenging, unlike Lacus, and definitely not like Cagalli. Shy, almost to the point of it being painful, yet Montage liked it, it made him feel like a man.

"Your secretary seems capable. I think her job should be more than just coffee and mail don't you think?"

"She is fine the way she is." Montage defended and he saw movement out of the corner of his eye when Michelle went behind him to tend to the documents that were behind. That had always been the morning ritual, she had insisted that he put his in tray and out tray there, he had protested but that glum look she had produced always made him cave. And therefore he was caught unawares when his body along with his chair was slammed against the hard oak, pain blossoming from his chest and his eyes bulged at the hard impact.

"What?!" He wheezed out, yet could do nothing more as Michelle had wedged him tightly between the working table and his custom made leather chair. Groaning, he made a last effort to free himself by placing his hands onto the table to give himself leverage to push, but his actions ceased when his neck came into contact with a sharp, cool, metal, dangerously close to vital parts of him, pricking sensitive skin that he had just shaved this morning.

"Thank you Michelle." Lacus said, and the reflection of the woman Montage hired as his secretary looked up, his eyes widening as realisation dawned and he finally understood why he never were able to look into her eyes. It would have been a dead giveaway in her job. No secretary's eyes would be as filled with hatred and coldness as the one's she possessed.

"So Montage, can we get down to business now?"

"Where do I start?" Like a petulant child, Montage scowled into the screen and would not look at her. Lacus wanted to laugh at that stupidity but held back. A man could only take so much in one day. She would leave all those for next time. And she will remember. She did not take it lightly when people went behind her back and wove those lies around her, trapping her like how a spider traps an insect. She would be nobody's pawn and she would crush those who stood in her way in stopping Ishida. She would deal with the representative later, for now, she would just listen to what he had to say. She could feel deep within her that satisfaction that she now had just another clue so near, she would best Ishida and she would right the wrongs that she had made.

"Start from the beginning, oh and you don't mind if I record this, do you?" Lacus said, smiling slightly at Montage who merely scowled and shook his head. "Thank you for your consideration, please do start whenever you are prepared to Representative Dirge."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Kira Yamato rushed pass Athrun Zala for the third time and was definitely closer to Patrick Zala than before. He lunged forward, holding the shield that he had created to the back of him and not the front. He could not attack if there was something blocking him but evidently Athrun had picked up on that fact too. He in turn had appeared so suddenly in front of Kira and threw whatever he had into the next punch, aiming to disable and to defeat. The fight had gone on too long.

Kira felt his vision spin and stars bursting in the darkness as his head snapped viciously to one side, before coming back, backlash, just like what should in physics, and sprawling wantonly onto the hard floor. He shook his head, clearing the cobwebs that had formed and struggled to stand. He will not go down like this, he was so near, too near to just give up like that. Pushing himself up, spitting the mouthful of blood that contaminated his sense of taste, he was not given an opportunity to recover before yet another pain blossomed, this time from his stomach. Athrun had kicked him without mercy and once again he fell back onto the floor, all thoughts gone except for the pain.

Athrun looked down unpityingly at the figure who had curled up into a fetal state, clutching his midsection and gasping, slight moans coming through the ragged breaths. He crouched down and pulled the brown haired teen's head up, looking once more into that violet eyes which were glazed from the two continuous attacks. He should have done this a long time ago, and saved himself the energy. Kira was not a fighter, he would never be on par with his skills, he had toyed with him because he knew Patrick wanted to gather information.

"I told you, you would regret this." He whispered, his breath falling like slight caresses onto Kira's face. Kira whimpered slightly but still he struggled, his hands coming up and trying to push Athrun away. But, his grip on his hair was far too strong.

"I have to try."

"Even with your life?"

"Yes."

And then Kira disappeared.

"What?!" He heard gasps all around, the second shock of the day, and Kira rematerialised in front of Patrick Zala whose eyes were no longer vicious, but wary, surprised and a high dose of fear added in the mix. Kira paused, slightly at lost, the pain still confusing him and that made him lose that vital advantage. A small gust of wind, and suddenly his spine was cushioned by something warm and very alive.

"Drop the knife." Athrun breathed low and dangerous, his breath tickling Kira's neck. There was nothing playful or even remotely alive in that tone of voice making him shiver involuntarily, his lower stomach tightening with that every nuance.

"I said drop the knife…" Athrun said, his voice a monotone but inwardly, something carnal overcame him when Athrun felt Kira stiffen and he had to fight down the urge to bend and just_nuzzle_ that hollow just behind the jaw, it was so tempting and he was in just that position to do so. Maybe he could just do it, a longing so strong that he almost forgot what he was doing, or where he was. He was just lost in the wonder of Kira's scent, a mixture of sweat, vanilla and _Kira._

"Athrun! What the hell are you doing?!" Murata Azrael's voice snapped out, high pitched, disgusted which destroyed the atmosphere and startled Athrun awake from his sudden lapse of control.

_Athrun lost control…_

_For a mere boy…_

Patrick's eyes resumed its thoughtfulness and a gleam of cunning and interest were sparked and that made Athrun curse more inside. He had not meant for his father to see that scenario, it would just provide him with more excuses and things to manipulate. Athrun's mask dropped, the Shinigami retreating back and his brain replayed all that had happened before. He felt his disgust well up and threatened to overflow, managed not to gag out loud and tried to put on a serious face. But, he knew Patrick had seen more than he was willing to show. And that would be his mistake, a mistake that he would regret forever.

"I think its time to go." Patrick's voice was strangely calm, but Athrun knew the storm was just behind. "We will meet again Kira Yamato…. Meng's experiment."

* * *

Author's note: Wow...and I mean wow. 9000 over words...ororororo. This is a present and my compensation to that short chapter last week. Read and review. Tell me if you like it and vice versa. Tell me if there is anything that should be corrected, improved. I look forward to each and every one of your comments.

Next: Its the start of yet another new beginning. What would Lacus learn? Patrick knows about Kira now, what would he do next? What kind of plans has he in mind for Athrun?


	26. Shattered Dreams

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty Six

Shattered Dreams

by: frost2light

_Do you want to see?_

"What do you want me to see?"

_Talking to him might help._

"Talking to who?"

_Open the door, we will show you._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………_.._

Cagalli Yula Athha was expecting doors, at least three of it, based on previous experience, but what she did not expect when she opened her eyes was to see a small, thin back of a raven haired child no more than three playing by himself on a peaceful beach, building sandcastles all alone with his bare hands. She stood not far from the lone figure, her toes buried in the softest, whitest sand imaginable and watched him labour with whatever he had, running delightfully and enthusiastically towards the incoming waves to scoop up droplets of precious liquid before depositing it on his castle. He patted the sand down with firmness and determination only a child could have, absorbed in his work, carefully building, not caring about the time taken or whether it was futile. An innocence and purity to his actions that Cagalli rarely see in grown ups. From Cagalli's point of view as she observed, it seemed the child was constructing more than a sand castle, it was as if he were building his own personal dreams, delicately and cautiously stacking the ground work, working with a precision and methodology that she admired.

_I could become an engineer, to build places people could live in._

_Or maybe an astronaut, to discover new places and live forms, befriend them and tell them my story._

_Or a doctor, to save lives and give back smiles to people._

_Or..or…maybe an artist, to draw all the beautiful scenery in the world…_

_But, most of all, I __just want to live my life to the fullest._

Those young happy thoughts like big, bright colourful bubbles that floated up and above, dancing with the small breeze, passing by Cagalli and into her ears, transmitting one by one from the child as he happily pottered on with his project, his joyful exuberance making Cagalli smile, her mood lifting unexplainably by his ambitions, a young child filled to the brim with hopes for the future, optimistic and unknowing of the obstacles that laid in his path, but equally determined to overcome them even if they blocked his way. Their naivety and innocence was contagious, it reminded Cagalli of her own ambitions when she was young, she had wanted to make Orb the best place to be. And though part of her felt as if she was intruding in a private moment and was puzzled as to what the Voices meant, she continued to stay.

"Mother used to bring me to the beach." The young child said all of a sudden as if knowing Cagalli was looking and offering her an explanation, confirming her own thoughts without turning his back or breaking his rhythm in his current work. "She used to tell me that sand castles were a person's dreams, you build it up carefully, hoarding whatever you have with moats and borders and walls, knowing you can, building it far away from the shoreline, just to avoid it being washed away, but…"

"Watch out." Cagalli's short warning came too late when she saw a particularly strong wave rear up its white foamy head before dipping down and allowing nature's strength to deposit a few small scuttling crabs not far from the child's feet before sweeping whatever shells, grains of sands, and stones back into the ever welcoming blue sea, including the half done structure he was currently working on, leaving just a pile of wet sand that bubbled a little, the sea water forcing the air that was trapped in the sand out and away.

_All gone…__nothing but wet sand and bubbles._

"..but you can never predict what will happen in the future, you can protect what you have with a tenacity that you hope will save you from disappointment, doing everything that you have planned out far away from the danger zone, but sometimes…sometimes even your preparation and meticulous planning does not help and dreams can be destroyed in just one second, never coming back again."

"…."

"Do you believe in fate Cagalli?" The young child asked, his question and words chosen not that of a kid, but of someone who has seen the world and was tired from being beaten down time and time again. Turning around, allowing Cagalli to finally see his features, he allowed her a smile, a quirk of lips that softened his solemnity and returned the child back to the old man.

"Athrun…"

"Do you believe in fate Cagalli?" He repeated the question, this time while walking, his small steps taking him closer to the taller teen, and he looked up at her with his emerald green eyes, beseeching her to answer his query.

"I don't know." Cagalli said, torn between bending down and promptly giving the younger boy a hug, not letting go till he returned to the laughing, joyful younger him and turning around to hide the tears in her eyes. This child should not have to have that forlorn shadow lurking behind those crystal clear eyes, should not be allowed to be asking such questions which did not suit his age, should have been what she first saw, the enthusiastic daredevil filled to the point of overflowing potential. But, she did neither, only watching in mute surprise when the young child evolved into an older version.

"Am I in your dreams?" He asked, changing the question, facing her, his voice deeper and rougher, matured, changed from his younger pitchy one, as the scenery around them changed as well, turning darker, the sun that was high in the sky, now slowly beginning its descent, alighting the sky ablaze with vibrant golden, purple, orange and red hues.

"A good question, one I have no answer to." She answered frankly, blinking away her tell tale tears, she did not want Athrun to think she was pitying him, did not want herself to feel sorry for his loss. Those things were less important.

"I see, but your dreams are beautiful….for a long time I have not seen such untampered beauty, after all, Patrick Zala is not one to admire nature." Athrun said, his voice wistful and filled with melancholy before turning matter a fact, knowing that he was missing out on the most simple of things. "I used to remember watching the sun rise and setting when Yvette Carpenter, mother was still around, she was the one who taught me how to appreciate nature's beauty. She educated me on a lot of things particularly on the ways of life, maybe, maybe because of her earlier teachings, I am able to talk to you like this, faced not with the killing machine, Shinigami, but somebody else. I would rather it be like that, don't you think? Being rational and not filled with the lust for murder, this is something Patrick could never understand, much less show a child."

Cagalli could read his longing, it was apparent in his reflective tone and it tugged at Cagalli's heart strings more than anything and not for the first time, she had nothing comforting to say to the teenager. But he was right in his assessment of his situation, she had noticed that in here, Athrun, though still a little tense, was no longer defensive, no longer with brick and metal walls to keep people out, here he was more relaxed, unguarded and…

"Normal?" He said with a laugh, gracing Cagalli with a warm smile. "I guess you could say you are right…I too have not smiled with such ease in a very long time, it feels slightly awkward, rusty in fact." Athrun joked, emerald green eyes sparkling with humour, his whole demeanour a charming young teen with the whole world at his feet. Cagalli could not help but to smile back, though not forced, but it had traces of sadness, the Voices telling her that this was who Athrun would have been if things had not gone so wrong, this could be the future leader, a person charismatic and gentle, warm and outgoing, and not the assassin that all of them, Kira Yamato, Nicol Amalfi, and Hinata Yui had to stop. It was so different she had to look away to prevent herself from blurting out something wrong. She did not want to see darkness in this teen's face, see the helplessness, the dead eyes. She wanted to remember this settled, confident teen, she wanted to show Athrun, the current Athrun what he could be.

"Thank you…" He murmured, sincere, touched by Cagalli's heartfelt thoughts. In here, he could hear her thoughts clear as day, though not much needed to be heard to understand her feelings, everything was written on her face, so filled with emotions, from sadness to anger to happiness. In the brief time he knew her, he found that Cagalli was one to wear her heart on her sleeve and it was refreshing to say the least. It was comforting to know that not all were like Patrick, hiding what they thought behind masks and useless words, unlike him too, shielding himself from everything and everyone, moving in the shadows, waiting for the perfect chance to pounce and go in for the kill. These were the people who gave others hope and a chance to survive in the harsh, relentless and merciless world of reality.

"You can hear my thoughts?" She asked, surprised but not horrified and Athrun nodded.

"You must be wondering what I'm doing here."

"Yes." It was short and direct because it really was the topmost question in her mind, though she did not mind Athrun not telling her, if this place made Athrun forget what it was like in the real world, she did not care how long he stayed, but she knew that he was not one to escape from reality, no matter how hard or daunting it seemed. But, just this little amount of time to recuperate, would it be enough, would it even help?

"Yes it would… you don't know how much.." Athrun said, his voice trailing off, almost as if from a faraway place, continuing a moment later as he turned back to watch the fading sun, "I've always loved the sea, it's wide expanse of blue green, its horizon reaching far and wide, almost touching the sky, never knowing where it would end or begin, to me….that feels so much like freedom.. of being able to go anywhere without needing to ever stop, not limited by anything….or anyone."

_And it is something I can never have…_

A moment of vulnerability was all it took for everything to pour out, a shattered dam of thoughts that Athrun kept private, protected for all he was worth.

_Help me…_

_It hurts…_

_Painpainpain_

_Why can't I die?_

Cagalli choked, her breath sticking in her throat, chest constricting so tightly she could not breathe, her own mind refusing to allow any oxygen in from the onslaught of horrible things that Athrun somehow accidentally shared with her. "What is he doing to you?" She managed to whisper out, her eyes looking at Athrun shocked, horrified, _pained. _"How could he _do_ those things to you?"

_The belt coming down..again and again against raw, bleeding flesh…more blood than skin…_

_A burning hot poker pressing, pressing, deeper and deeper, scorching skin, cooking flesh…_

_Harsh grunts into the dark…panting…splitting, being torn apart….red running down between thighs too tired to move.._

_So tired…_

"No! You are not supposed to see that!" Athrun shouted panicked, turning so abruptly he whipped up a small sand tornado by his feet, his wide stricken eyes showing both apology and his humiliation, his guard slamming back up in fierce determination, but the damage was done. Cagalli had seen enough. Somehow, through their unexplainable connection, she had been shown what Athrun had been holding back till now, she had sensed that something was amiss, a low tremor of unease weaving through the back of Athrun's mind, of something being compressed and wanting to be kept hidden, but she had dismissed it, she had so innocently thought that it was because he had never shared something so personal with a stranger before, but she had never expected this, never ever this.

_The stench of blood was overpowering, vomit, sweat and fear, all combining into desperation, helplessness._

"Where the hell are you?!" She shouted recovering, taking two large steps towards the other teen, closing their distance, amber eyes burning dangerously, roaring flames that scorched Athrun, made more so by the golden rays of the waning sun. He understood her desire, her need, Kira's wishes, he understood and he was suitably touched by it. However, as strongly as they wanted to save him from those dark pits of hell, he equally did not want to be saved.

_No way out…_

_I will hurt all of you._

_That's why I have to stay._

_I deserve this… it is my penance to pay._

Grabbing hold of Athrun's collar, Cagalli pulled him in roughly, Athrun falling forward, allowing himself to be carried by the momentum till he was just inches away from the other girl, woman. "What do you mean your penance to pay?! Which part of this diabolical scheme is yours?! Which part of it is your fault?!" Cagalli was close to snarling, her breath hot on Athrun's face, chin pushed up stubbornly, angrily, because she was still several inches shorter than the raven haired teen, but her protectiveness, her fury made her bigger than life itself, golden eyes burning, burning, burning, wanting to light Athrun's dull emerald ones, the previous, precious moment of peace gone, blown away, disappearing, just like the fading sun.

Athrun looked down at her touched by the way she was so indignant, showing how much she cared, his eyes filling with tears he did not realise he could still shed and he looked away, his whole body trembling, shaking with tremors brought by his own guilt and regret.

"Look at me!" Cagalli commanded, her voice strong and filled with wrath, but not at him, never at him. "Why don't you tell us! Why don't you want to be saved?! How will you hurt us?! How?!"

"I can't…."

"How?!" Cagalli pushed on, sensing the cracks in Athrun's armour and chipping at it like a woodpecker. She needed to know.

"How?! You can see the future. You saw! You saw what I did!" Athrun exploded, the grim words bursting out of his mouth like a hail of well aimed bullets, his eyes so forlorn and lost. "I wish it did not have to end up that way, don't you think I wish I could stop myself?"

"You don't know if that would happen…your future is yours and yours alone. Fate doesn't make sure it happens, there can be another road to be taken!" Cagalli retaliated, not willing to allow Athrun to make fatalism his way of life.

"How can you be so sure Cagalli Yula Athha, do not say things that make you a hypocrite. You saw that vision and you made up your mind in that alley to stop me."

"But I did not say I wanted to kill you!"

"You might not have but your intention was clear enough. I do deserve to die. Especially before this…."

_The__ blood-filled hallway, the knife, her brother, and finally Athrun…the killer._

And Cagalli knew what he had seen. Not only was she able to read his memories, what he was feeling, the connection went both ways. He could see what she saw in her Visions, heard what the Voices told her. Her fingers loosened its white knuckled grip on Athrun's shirt, but never let go and Athrun did not shrug her off, staying where he was, not moving a step, his eyes trained somewhere behind Cagalli, not wanting to stare into the eyes that made him wish he could believe. "It was the main reason why you wanted to stop me in the first place, the fight behind the alleyway, you wanted to prevent me from killing your brother, have you forgotten that? How can you welcome me into your family with such open arms when you know I would pose such a danger to your brother?! He is your only living family member…and I… I don't want to hurt him!"

_I want to fall in love with him…_

"You know I can stop that…tell us where you are…let us help you! Help us stop the future from happening!" Cagalli implored, pleading, her eyes too filling with tears from the despair she could feel radiating from the teen, she wanted to help, she needed to help, it was not an obligation, but a sincere reach of hands for a teen that was so similar to them, a teen who wanted to reach back but was held back by his own chains. So broken, so lost, the last part when he shouted out the words, his voice had cracked.

"Can you…?" He asked, turning his head up in bitter laughter, a short derisive bark, sardonic and dripping with sarcasm, not at anyone else but at himself, at the cruel world which had brought him in and spat him out. "Maybe you can Cagalli, but I may not want to be the one to be saved…I don't deserve to be saved…conflicting? How can you offer somebody salvation when he has already become the devil himself? How can I still reach for God when I have forsaken the right to believe? How can I…?"

_With so much blood…I will never be clean…_

"Give us a chance…" Cagalli tried. "Give us just one chance to help… Let us answer your call for help…"

"My call for help?" Athrun taunted, his words coated with venom, features twisted into something ugly yet shadowed by his internal grief. "The only help I need is for someone to end my miserable life. End it so that there will be no more victims, no more tears for the people who need not shed them, for Kira, for you. We are enemies, Cagalli, remember that, no matter how much I enjoy your company, wish the circumstances were different, nothing have changed and never will change. Fated, if you believe in that stupidity, have been since the time Patrick and his ego wanted to be God. So please, save me by killing me. Be rid of this earth of such useless scum."

_Let me die by your hands..._

Cagalli stared at Athrun dumbfounded, struck silent by his vehemence, his determination to die and his last unsaid wish for peace, so conflicted, so desperate, so afraid to live the life he obviously wanted to. He did not care for the opinions of others, neither did he bother about what society needed from their people, because to him, he really did not deserve a second chance, to him..there was no place for sinners.

"Why are you giving up?" Cagalli whispered brokenly, "Why do you take your life so lightly? Everybody deserves a second chance…"

"Stop me if you can…no you must stop me." Athrun said, a note of finality to his low voice, husky from the suppressed grief, telling Cagalli his last wish, a man living on borrowed days and minutes, waiting, sustaining himself just for the right person to come and take it all away. But for now, for whatever small mercy God had given him to talk to Cagalli and to appear lucid, normal, He's compassion was over, it was time for him to go, back to where he should not belong but where he wanted to stay, no longer the vision from before, the carefree, confident teen but the human he was trapped being now.

_Thank you…_

"No! Don't go yet! Stay! At least stay a little while more!" She shouted, hands reaching out, wanting to provide him one last comfort, a hug for all that could help, yank his fading silhouette back into this so called beautiful place, allow him more time to recoup but all that was left of Athrun's profile was the wispy ghost like image that was soon swallowed by the darkness, leaving his last silver of thought of gratitude, for the girl who had offered him things no one else had ever tried to give. Cagalli's tears overflowed onto her cheeks, tracking down the sharp angles of her face with reckless abandon, only wanting to react on animal instinct and lift her head to howl wounded to the skies at the injustice of it all.

_Thank you…_ _even for that little hope._

"Nooo!"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

Athrun Zala could clearly hear the whooshing sound the heavy metal buckle head make seconds before the inevitable and anticipated blossom of pain which focused on one point before tracking across his back like thousands of crawling fire ants and simultaneously biting down. He bit down on his tongue desperately to stop any sound from coming out, his nostrils flaring out as his breaths hitched and exploded into ragged gasps. Today was day three and Patrick Zala seemed not inclined to stop the harsh, cruel punishment that he thought Athrun deserved. His days had gone by in a blur, the first day almost unbearable, pain and exhaustion clouding his normally clear mind. He fainted once and woke up in a blazing trail of pain pain pain. But, he felt comforted. He had settled what he wanted with Cagalli Yula Athha, said what he needed to say, apologize the best he could for his actions, his only remaining regret was the he did not have a chance to tell Kira Yamato the same things.

"At least I succeeded in creating a body that is clearly able to sustain itself even through deliberate rough handling without both food and a minimum amount of water." Patrick commented dryly, clinically to himself, his words ever cultured and proper. If Athrun had the energy to snort and laugh, or even to roll his eyes, he would.

_Rough handling_.

Precious.

A moment after the short sentence, Patrick's footsteps could be heard clicking ominously on the ground before appearing in front of Athrun's vision. Strong fingers pulled roughly at the younger boy's chin, forcing his head to look up at an extremely unnatural and uncomfortable position into Patrick's cold, calculating eyes. Athrun took in the heaving chest, the ruddiness of Patrick's complexion and a small part of him not influenced by the current situation noted that Patrick's stamina had improved with leaps and bounds as Patrick had never been a man of physical means, even though he had stopped counting at the twentieth stroke.

"And it seems to me that you have cleared your head somewhat…not as prone to misplaced emotions.." Patrick said almost offhandedly, noticing the rigidity Athrun's body had suddenly incurred.

"I..don't…understand.." Athrun rasped out the best he could with both his throat parched and head tilted in that vulnerable position.

"But I bet you do, my dear Athrun…I remember you doing something like this…" Patrick murmured sweetly into Athrun's ear before nuzzling his throat, effectively bringing back memories of that one mistake Athrun had committed.

Forcing himself not to cringe back in revulsion, Athrun tried to speak once again but was silenced with a finger to his dried and cracked lips. "Uh huh…I think it would be better if you did not implicate yourself further. As they say, actions do speak louder than words…and I do have a perfect 20/20 vision. I can clearly see and interpret what is in front of my eyes." Patrick continued on in that sugary sweet tone which did nothing to allay Athrun's anxiety. The brown haired teen's image flashed through his brain and Athrun could feel the rising panic, his instinct screaming at him to somehow explain, or to at least say something to redirect Patrick's correct assumption, Athrun knew for a fact that nothing good would ever come to this.

Letting Athrun's sweat dampened hair go, Patrick stepped away from the struggling boy and swung his belt lazily in half arcs as he spoke conversationally, his voice thoughtful, "I have been working on a recent project, I have almost completed it, a prototype. Do you know what I intend to use it for?"

Athrun fought hard against the leather straps that confined his body, took away his freedom, he had to keep calm, but the mounting panic at the thought of something happening to the other brown haired boy squashed all level headed thoughts, the fatigue and stress he had been going through the pass few days not helping at all. Yet, he still managed not to sound like what he really felt inside. He knew without a doubt that if he conveyed any unsuitable emotions now, everything would be lost.

"There was nothing behind that gesture."

"Oh…? How to you say nothing when I could see…fondness?"

"What is fondness?" Athrun asked, partly out of disbelief and mostly out of sheer ignorance. He truly did not understand that word. He knew what it meant in the dictionary, but to _feel?_ He truly knew nothing about it. No one had bothered to teach him and the lessons from so long ago, those buried feelings from the time Yvette was around, was so vague and out of reach, he truly could not recall.

"You sound convincing enough, boy, but I must remember that you are quite adept in acting. And you have not answered my question, are you not interested in my experiment?"

Frustrated at the cynical yet brilliant older man, Athrun could only bring himself to go along with the flow, submitting himself to Patrick's whims and fancy, hoping that he could make Patrick talk further on his subject and somehow forget about the brown haired teen named Kira Yamato.

"I know what you are thinking, but I won't forget that teen so easily. Afterall, my protégé created that boy you so clearly seem besotted with. And my new project is something to enhance my control over you as recently you seem a bit…how to put it….off."

"You see, a weapon is something to be controlled. If the user is not in control, what use would a weapon be? And especially if that so called weapon was turning into an erratic, emotional being like you are becoming, I, even if I fail to see how, have failed to keep you the perfect weapon. You seem to have forgotten the lessons I thought I have taught you so well. So much for the time and energy wasted." Patrick spat out disgustedly, his eyes burning hot with the anger, hatred, impatience and all of these negativity translated into action, the blows starting up again as his highly held pride was stomped on by a dead man. His emotions began to cloud over any reasonable thinking, venting his anger on the only thing that he could, ignoring the fresh spill of red blood over dried copper or the muted groans that came from Athrun's lips, continuing his brutalising of the already battered body.

_How long more? How long more till the next day?_

Athrun tried to block out the barbed words Patrick threw at him, muted the pain that he was currently drowning in, but was only successful in blocking nothing out. Now what were left after three days of total degradation were resignation and a morbid fascination that his body was able to withstand the torture that was currently being inflicted on him. It was truly a confirmation that monsters do exist.

"How could you almost lose to a snot nose brat? How could you even dare contemplate the idea of losing!" Patrick raged on but out of breath, stopping for that one moment, totally oblivious to the terribly scarred teenager both physically and mentally laying vulnerably in front of him, and started to pace the small room with the lone light like a caged in wild beast. His hands were clenched tightly into fists, one of them griping tightly to the belt that he was using, not caring that Athrun's back was already a blurry mass of flesh, blood and torn skin. The metallic smell that permeated the air, the soft choked groans that came from Athrun's throat, none of it subdued his slighted feelings. He had laboured so hard to produce a fighting machine, thrown in so much of his time and money, sacrificed everything for that one personal goal, and years later just to find out that Meng had created something better.

"I'm…I'm sorry." Athrun forced out, unwilling, but three days was enough.

"You are sorry?! When have I heard that before? You promised you would kill Kira Yamato. You told me that you had! Ghosts do not walk on Earth! You had obviously failed!" Patrick did not allow Athrun any chance for any protests, surveying the damage he had done to Athrun's back with a critical eye, assessing the damage and concluding that it was nothing permanent, nothing a tool could not take before running a merciless finger down the most ugly of wounds, ignoring the way Athrun's body jerked up and writhed as if electrocuted, straining helplessly against the bonds that trapped him, his normally cold bottomless eyes only registering pain. "You should be punished, don't you think so, my dear Athrun? Do you know how naughty boys get what they deserved?"

"Forgive… me..." Harsh panting, not caring about dignity, pride, muffled last pleads.

"Forgiveness is for the weak and I do not intend to have weaklings as weapons. Yes…tonight would be the night, I would test the prototype on you. Its decided…but first…first…yes.. first let me enjoy what it is to be young again…."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

_Why can't I die?_

Cagalli Yula Athha woke up with a gasp, her amber eyes opening with a snap as she jack knifed upright in the bed, gulping in ragged breaths but nothing could calm her racing heart, that particular part feeling as if something had poked a huge hole in it, biting on her lip so hard she could taste the blood as the tears that filled her vision overflowed like a broken dam and rushed down her cheeks. She curled tightly into herself, her hands hugging her knees close to her chest, trying to be as small as she could to force herself to contain those strong emotions from bursting out and waking up everybody else, whimpering not because of the sheer amount of it, but needing to do something. She bowed her head as the echoes of the unsaid pleadings, the desperateness continued to assault her senses, her fingers clutching her pajamas in a white knuckled grip, forcing herself to stay put, not to react to his pain, but it was so hard…

"Damn you to hell, you fucking bastard." She whispered those hatred filled words through gritted teeth into the dark night, eyes staring hard at one point of the bed spread, no words to describe what she was feeling right now, she hated him with something a lot more than vengeance, wanted revenge so much she wished she could just teleport and stab him again and again, burn him alive on a stake, watch as he pleaded for mercy, not giving him any and…and…

_But nothing she__ can do would ever give Athrun anything back._

"You will pay Patrick Zala. You. Will. Fucking. Pay."

And the Voices answered her anger with the next step.

_Lacus Clyne will be willing to listen now._

_She knows._

_Call her._

_It is time._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

"I'm taking out the rubbish." Dearkka Elsman shouted out loud, emptying the rest of the waste from the sink into the black garbage bag before tying a knot on the top and hoisting the garbage can and pushing open the backdoor with his shoulder and into the cool night's air. He tried not to breathe in too much of the stink, keeping his breaths shallow and short the distance between the building and the dumpster.

_I wish I could just burn all of this._

Just as fast as the thought passed through, Dearkka watched in horror as the black garbage bag in front of him burst into flames, bright blue flames that licked at everything in front of him, leaving only ash behind.

"What the hell?!"

* * *

Author's note: I hope you like this chapter, reviews and comments are greatly appreciated. I have the ending in sight, but it won't be for another three or four chapters. So tell me if you like it and who you would like to have to have more "write" time. I apologize sincerely if I have irked anyone out there, please forgive me because mistakes here are mine and mine alone and I'm only human. Updating regularly is currently a task but I take my responsibility quite seriously. I truly will see this to its end. Thanks to those who have read consistently, reviewed out of their time, and I hope I have not disappointed you guys thus far. Till the next time!


	27. Losing

Gundam Seed: Chapter Twenty - Seven

Losing

by: frost2light

Kira Yamato stepped silently into the small kitchen Elizabeth had allowed them to use during their short stay in her bed and breakfast, welcoming them all with open arms, only frowning slightly when they had appeared once again, out of the blue, carrying

"You will pay Patrick Zala. You. Will. Fucking. Pay."

And the Voices answered her anger with the next step.

_Lacus Clyne will be willing to listen now._

_She knows._

_Call her._

_It is time._

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………_._

Cagalli Yula Athha lifted her head slowly away from her knees, halting her progress midway to look at the clock beside her bed, reading the bright neon yellow hands of the clock which showed that it was 3 in the morning, a time where the night was still dark and where shadows still danced strong. The sun has yet to rise in this part of the world and she was grateful for that little time she could spend in solitude without having to put up a brave front. It had been some time since the episode and her tears had long subsided, but the pain in her heart was still too much to bear. She did not want Kira Yamato or any of her friends to know about Athrun Zala's fate, his were his to tell and did not need a middle person like her to speak of it. No one needed to know what he was going through, it could help nothing and would bring only anger and helplessness, and those memories… those will be her burden alone. It would stay private.

_I will bring help. I will save you._

Turning away from the ever moving hands of the clock, she stared for a moment at her knees before pushing away the covers and getting out of the bed, away from the pillow that was damp with salty tears. Padding across the chilled floor towards the window she had left open before she went to bed, she raised her head high to look at the pale moon, so alone in the starless night, the slight night breeze lifting tendrils of her blonde hair and the wispy curtains to dance slowly to its rhythm. She shivered slightly but did not move away, closing her eyes and allowing the coolness to dry the moisture on her cheeks, imagining her father's kind hands wiping away her sorrows, giving her the strength and wisdom to carry on. She missed her father terribly, but felt it more especially during times like these.

_Father, what should I do? What would you have done?_

Fondly, she remembered his stern face, his seriousness which made him look fierce and unapproachable, holding himself high with the pride of a lion, distinct from all the others around him, a king in a world of commoners. Her father had many who feared him, called him arrogant and pompous, but those words never scratched his composure, although she knew deep within him, the vulnerable part which he kept hidden with layers of cool efficiency, hurt with those accusations. Maybe it was because she could see kindness and genuine compassion through those layers, she had never feared him. He had loved her, she the adopted daughter he had come across. He had always been strict and at times she was angry and hated his control, not understanding when she was younger, but those spells were fleeting, always short never once for long. She loved him, admired him, he had always been the pillar of support in her crazy world of being the centre of attention in all functions. He was stern, too serious at times but he had loved Cagalli, too much in too little time.

_You will make me proud, you are my legacy, the people's future, when the time comes you will know what to do..have faith in yourself, because…_

…_I have faith in you._

The silence of the moment had a calming effect on her, remembering her father's last words before the bodyguards whisked a reluctant her away, listening to the loud boom that followed, the strong tremors that not only rocked the ground, but shattered her foundation as well, she felt herself rein the doubts in and placing it aside, the memories and cool night allowing her a brief respite to take a deep breath and recollect her restless thoughts, bringing her more comfort than others ever would. She had been left behind, looked as the people she loved and had grown up with leave her one by one, fading away into a place she could never follow, taken away by the war, disease and fate, leaving her alone, hand outstretched to catch them, pleading silently for them to stay, but none of them ever did. Those feelings with never ever go away and behind closed doors, she could let down the mask she kept, the strong wall she erected, just like her father, but there will stay, and for now she will restack the bricks till the next time she could let them down again, she had to do what she was supposed to do. The Voices had started again, whispering words that made her even more resigned.

_(We understand your pain, and because of that, we will help you grow.)_

_(Sacrifices need to be made.)_

_(Many to fight, but less to return.)_

_(Will you be able to…_

…_allow them to go again…this time? )_

Cagalli smiled sadly to herself, she would always have to look at the backs of others, guiding them but never be able to follow. She did not doubt the Voices, whatever they told her would come true one way or another. She wished she knew a way to fight against the fate, against the soft breaths that announced the coming of Death so easily. People could fight fate, they could try but would it work? Her golden eyes staring far into the distance, she listened to what the Voices had to say. They had mentioned earlier about Lacus Clyne, the current head of Clyne Company, daughter of the founder, the girl who had betrayed her trust, she would now play a role in the next step. They had said she would know now, that she would be more than willing to help, cooperate with her, give her more information on what was truly going on behind the scenes.

_(There are larger things at work here…)_

_(Some things we are not allowed to tell…)_

_(You have to learn about those yourself, we will help you along the way.)_

"You drive a hard bargain…" Cagalli muttered below her breath, half amused, a small part of her wondering if one of the Voices belonged to her father. They sounded all the same, always soundless, just notes of colours that appeared and disappeared within her mind, but she knew what they meant, and those words was reminiscent of what her dear papa would say. Smiling a little at the irony, she walked back towards the table, picked up her mobile and flipped it open. Though it was not yet light here, she knew without a doubt that in PLANTs, it was already mid morning. This small tidbit was one of the numerous bits and pieces of useless knowledge she recalled now and had needed while she still was the Representative of Orb. Making the phone call now would be appropriate, but she did not know what to say much less how to say it.

_Would she help us?_

_(Yes she will. She is part of the whole scheme.)_

_Why now?_

_(Why any time at all? Evil like this should never have existed, but they do.)_

Turning her attention back towards the mobile in her hands, her eyes paused at the wallpaper that greeted her and her lips curled up naturally at the sight of Kira Yamato's big grin, Nicol Amalfi's peace sign and Hinata Yui's exasperated gaze that hid nothing of her affection for the photographer. This had been taken before the trip down to the rundown church, Chaos, a name befitting the fate the church had fallen into. Cagalli's fingers traced the photo, lingering on each and every person's face, touching it lightly, fondly. She loved their smiles, their infectious laughter and the comfortable way they just blended together as a family. These were the things that were worth protecting and she would, she would protect it with everything she could. She was missing them already and she knew that they were just around the corner, that if she called, all of them would come, but she just needed this private moment with this one second caught forever, immortalized and frozen, not influenced by the rushing time. When all this fighting ended, will all of them be safe? Would all of them be as happy as in the photo? Or would one be missing, lost, gone?

"_There always will be someone who has to die for the other to live, it's a natural concept, it's the way of the world. This place cannot accommodate so many to keep its balance…."_

"_And therefore you have to kill to achieve an overall good? How can killing a person achieve a better future? How can giving up another person's life be better for the whole? What gives you the say in that?"_

"_Then find me another way, tell me what I should do, save me from myself, from the decisions that I have to make, fight my cruel reality with your eternal optimism, Cagalli Yula Athha, find me a path that I cannot see."_

She remembered that conversation she had with Lacus not too long ago. Lacus had been quiet, solemn, her normally warm blue eyes frigid and hard as steel, her fingers clenched so tightly Cagalli winced openly. She had been puzzled, had been more than guarded, instinctively sensing something was wrong and the tight, white knuckled grip on sanity that Lacus had that day bewildered her. She had always been the calm, composed, matured young woman who was like a Princess in her own way but the private meeting between two friends allowed Cagalli to catch a glimpse of the vulnerable girl beneath the hardened exterior. She was under the impression that Lacus was hiding something, was under extreme pressure and was unable to cope, strung so tight a little more tension would break her. She had wanted to ask, but she knew how tight lipped Lacus could be, what she would not say would always stay close to her heart. Cagalli had known that and not pushed, but looking back towards that time, she could not help thinking if she had forced herself to ask, would have things be infinitely different as it is right now.

"Could all of us be saved from this madness?" Cagalli asked sadly, her softly spoken words floating in the night forming a question that nobody could answer, not even the Voices who stayed quiet. Giving the picture one last fond look, memorizing the details, etching it not only in her brain but where it mattered the most, her secret garden she kept private, the one place of her heart that she guarded fiercely, allowing no one in and nothing out, keeping those priceless memories so that she would never lose sight of what she was fighting for. And she got down to business.

She needed no fast dial for Lacus Clyne's private number, Cagalli had always thought of Lacus as more than a friend, a sister to her otherwise lonely life, the only one person she found worthwhile in the mad world of politics. Her lips quirking up into a sad smile, reminding her of things not too long gone and though she had thought she had forgotten it from the lack of use but in reality, some things really did not go away with time. She still thought of Lacus as a friend, some one more than associates or colleagues in a political world where nobody trusted anybody, they had been friends, still are judging by the way Cagalli's heart always hurts when she thought of the girl she left behind. They were sisters to each other's identical need for companionship, both of them had been lonely souls, each gravitating to each other because they knew instinctively that things would be all right if they could help each other. It sounded as if they were lovers, and in a way they had been almost that, a family member that either one of that could come to rely on for support and comfort.

"_So what had gone so wrong? Why Lacus…"_

"_Times change, Cagalli…people's way of thinking would change as well. It was not intentional, it just happened. Best friends, family, it could happen."_

"_But, I did not want it to."_

"_In a world where people never suffered……none of us would ever know happiness."_

"I will prove you wrong Lacus, whatever you are hiding, I will pry it out of you. I did not do what I should have done that day, but I promise you that it would be different now. You will always be my best friend, my sister, and we will help each other through this, like we did last time." Listening to the brief hold the mobile emitted after the numbers were imputed, Cagalli vowed those words and composed herself for the impending call. The call connected and the familiar soft spoken voice came through, bringing back memories of familiarity, of a friendship gone sour.

"Hello Cagalli Yula Athha."

"My greetings Ms Clyne."

"It's odd to hear you so polite Cagalli." Lacus said, her voice a relaxed lilt, but Cagalli could detect the tension beneath, restrained but there, something has happened, just as the Voices predicted. Lacus would listen now. She had to.

"We need to talk."

"What about Cagalli?" Still polite but changed. Yes, Cagalli has her attention now, not full, but at least the curiousity was piqued.

"Would the perfect weapon suffice for your time?"

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Dearkka Elsman stared in disbelief at the amount of stuff he had managed to turn into piles of smoking black crisp with just a thought, a careless "I wish that would just disappear". Needless to say, it was supposed to be the kind of hopeless wish that did not come true, could not come true and definitely should _not _come true in the first place. Nobody, in their right physical and mental state should be able to create such a disaster artificially much less _naturally. _However, the acrid smell of things charred and disfigured was too hard to ignore and no matter how hard he blinked, stared at it incredulously or pinched himself till he was black and blue, could he make Murrue Ramius's kitchen turn back to its pristine white walled self just a mere ten minutes before, nor could he make the hole in the roof that one errant flame had licked too enthusiastically and thoroughly before he could get it to disappear patch itself.

All in all it was one hell of a success to an experiment just to satisfy one guy's curiousity about something that defied nature's law.

_I can control fire._

Surveying the kitchen that resembled more and more of a disaster site instead of the homey beautiful kitchen that once produced wholesome home cooked food, Dearkka noted almost detachedly some other more important things that he realised a little too late was, firstly, there would be a lot of cleaning, scrubbing and painting, followed by buying, replacing, climbing and patching, the hole in the roof a perfect round circle to give one interested an unhindered view of a blue sky above and throwing, definitely throwing. But, the one small part of him that was not floating as the world whirled around him, faster and faster nor the one that was affected by the panic that swelled up and blocked all the other noises, making him deaf to everything but his heartbeat came crashing back to the panicking part when his mind concentrated on the by far _the_ most disconcerting and impossible one point that he was clearly not willing but had to think about which was how he was about to explain himself and the current situation to the person who owned this kitchen, and who would be coming back around….

"Dearkka…what is that smell?!" He heard Murrue call out, her hurried footsteps coming determinedly towards the kitchen. "What have you burnt this time?"

….now.

"You should ask what I have not burnt this time." Dearkka tried joking weakly before trying to grin sheepishly at the horrified Murrue before grimacing openly at her furious and disbelieving stare. And with that glare, all his enthusiasm, his amazement at his newfound ability, his comfort that he would be able to catch up with Yzak Joule, that he would be finally accepted because he was tweaked too, he was a freak just like Yzak came crashing down as reality finally pushed its way into the barriers of delusion Dearkka had erected just a few moments ago. There was nothing much he could do anyways, thus, he did what he could do at this certain circumstance and groaned heartfelt before dropping his face into his palms.

"Shit."

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Would the perfect weapon be enough?" Cagalli Yula Athha's voice came through the receiver clear and strong, pushing through Lacus Clyne's foggy brain with an impact of a sledgehammer. She certainly did not expect Cagalli to say those words, her eyes darting towards the pile of paper stacked innocently enough in front of her before staring at it long and hard. Those papers contained the details of the projects that she had thought had halted, had supposed to be killed off because of its lack of results and most importantly because of its objectives that did not particularly go well with the current regime. She remembered quite clearly that she had personally asked her staff to relocate those scientists, made sure that they were given the compensation they deserved. They had been her people afterall, no matter if they were strangers to her, they were still employess of her company and every employee that served under the Clyne Company had to be taken care of.

"I do not understand what you mean or how that matter would concern me." Lacus heard herself say slightly defensive even though her mind had went back in time, recalling details she did not know she still remembered after these years but triggered by the words Cagalli had just uttered.

"Does the name Patrick Zala ring any bells, Lacus? He once worked for you."

"There are too many employees in my list Cagalli, how did you know he worked for us in the first place?" Lacus hedged back, trying to buy some time to think because nothing could stop Cagalli if she wanted to get something across. And Lacus had no doubt that Cagalli was trying to tell her something.

_What did Cagalli know? What is her motive? _

"Do not play word games with me Lacus. I know you are stalling for time, trying to figure out what is on my mind. Why don't I just tell you? We should meet. Exchange of information, a goodwill of sorts."

"But I certainly do not recall any Patrick Zala Cagalli. I do not think there is much to say."

"Do not lie to me Lacus, if there was nothing else to say, you would have just bade me good bye and went on your merry way. But you are still on the phone, still listening to me because you do know him and you want to know the reason why I know him as well. Patrick Zala was on top of your list, he was your lead scientist in a venture between PLANTs Clyne Company and Orb. He was the one man that helmed the project that incorporated enhanced genes into the people who were willing to pay."

"I do not think you are right in that aspect. He was a well respected scientist who wanted to help the world."

"So you do remember the man."

"Yes, now that you mentioned it. He was on our payroll but he quit the company quite some time ago, I would put it because we had some misunderstandings."

"You killed his pet project, of course there would be some misunderstandings." Cagalli huffed into the phone, her hilarity filled with sarcasm and a touch of hatred Lacus did not understand. "He wanted to create the one superman that could win the war if there was any."

"What do you mean?"

"He was experimenting on the perfect baby, a test tube genetically tweaked baby born out of optimum conditions, out of a mother's womb, am I not right?"

"What do you want Cagalli?" Lacus finally asked after a moment of silence. She was tired all of a sudden, not wanting to fence with the one girl she respected and liked. She wanted to curl up and sleep, only to wake when everything returned back to normal.

"What do I want?" Whispered words, so wistful and longing, making Lacus tear up, her grip on the telephone tightening, the tight rein on sanity she kept loosening, wanting to just confide in somebody who could hold her and support her, keeping her mind right where it belonged. She did not realise how much she missed Cagalli until this moment when both of them were on the opposite sides fighting for the same reason but in different ways. They were both enemies of a common goal, fighting for peace when she advocated war by overthrowing a perfectly competent leader, an irony she wished she did not see.

"Let me help you Lacus Clyne. For all that we have been through, trust me this once." Cagalli's voice came back, pleading and sincere. "I will meet you at our usual place. Bring no one, not even Yukito, I will not hurt you. Please believe me this once. I will wait for you." Cagalli said before cutting the connection, not allowing Lacus any time to speak, any time to reject her offer, just the dial tone that continued droning on.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………..

Athrun Zala felt as if he were falling, dropping down, down, down, into the dark abyss that never ended, his whole life flashing past, many bloodied limbs reaching and reaching, catching hold of his shirt, his legs, anything that they could touch, grabbing at him, angry and betrayed, asking him over and over again, why he was alive when all of them were dead. He felt his mouth opening, feeling the scream that wanted to rush out into the silent, stale air, the protest and apologies he wanted to say but nothing came out, nothing except the silent mouthing of a unspoken noise. He had lost even the ability to speak, to mouth his words, his thoughts.

_Who am I? Where am I?_

He could hear all the words that Patrick Zala wanted him to hear, but he could not hear his own. He was slowly losing the one thing he thought he could hold tightly onto, he struggled valiantly, yearning to fight for his own sanity, but could not find the strength in him to do so. Everything felt weighted down and so heavy allowing the person Patrick was creating to be implanted deep into his consciousness, taking over his…who was he?

_Fight…_

_But against what? Its better to just close your eyes and sleep._

_It's comfortable here. Nothing to fear or hurt._

_I'm sorry Cagalli Yula Athha, because the next time we meet, there will no longer be a Athrun Zala, there will only be a Shinigami, death and more death._

_I'm sorry Kira Yamato, I wished that we could have met under different circumstances. I wanted to get to know you more._

"It's complete." Patrick Zala whispered in awe when the program initiated its last few commands, the screen turning blank when all the numbers disappeared, its green glow casting an eerie ghost like quality to the whole room and onto the blank eyed boy that lay immobile under heavy bondage, his wrists and ankles buckled down securely to prevent any unneeded movements. Everything had gone by without a hitch, the only time that Patrick had thought to worry was when Athrun's heart stopped and had to be restarted. But other than that, his experiments of before had concluded into a final product that had to be successful. His eyes scanning the boy that used to be Athrun just a mere one day ago, but now all that remained was a robot who had the perfect body and the perfect mind, malleable and whom obeyed everything and he threw back his head and laughed.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………………

"Ms Clyne?" Yukito ventured, but Lacus Clyne's facial expression was inscrutable. Directly after the conversation with Montage Dirge, Cagalli Yula Athha, the previous Representative of Orb had called and since then, Lacus had been sitting there looking into space, a trait that she had never showed before and which worried Yukito.

"I'm fine Yukito, please leave me alone for the moment. I need some time to think." She finally said, turning towards her aide with the same blank eyes. Yukito hesitated but he respected her wishes.

"I understand Ms Clyne. I will be outside."

"Thank you." Softly said but sincere and it tore Yukito apart.

_She does not deserve this._

The door whooshing silently close was when Lacus allowed herself to let go and she deflated like a broken doll, falling back into her seat and burrowing her head into her trembling hands. The conversation between Montage Dirge and Cagalli had long ended, leaving only the shock of being played like a fiddle to Ishida Toshiro's violin, and an even heavier, suffocating sense of her own personal failure. All those emotions churned inside her, growing bigger and bigger, tsunami like, wanting to crash down and destroy everything in sight, cracking her control to give way to anger, to frustration.

_I don't know what he was planning, but it was something big. _

_I never was in the position to ask, I just provided him with the tools that he needed, the machinery and technology that Orb has always been superior in._

_You are more like him than you can ever imagine._

Lacus closed her eyes and struggled to keep everything in perspective, but the last sentence Montage had said to her chilled her to the bone. She could not be like Ishida Toshiro. He was a mass murderer, a man who could not care less about people's lives, treating all of them like chess pieces on his own designated chess board. Admittedly, she was ruthless, cunning at some point, and was not beneath using others to further her own cause, but to be compared to a man who had no scruples, it scared her. What prompted Montage to say that? What had made him mean it so much? She had schooled her features into a blank slate when he spoke those words, but only she knew how much it affected her.

_I am not that man. I am not that man._

"What should I do Cagalli? Tell me what I should do in this losing battle of sanity."

_I will wait for you. Same place. _

"Will you ever be able to forgive my actions? Will you ever be able to take me as a friend again?" But no one answered her questions, no one held out a helping hand and Lacus was alone once again. She did what she could do and collected herself and picked up the phone to make yet another call. This time her hands were no longer shaking. She had made up her mind.

* * *

Author's note: Whopee. I finally finished a chapter. God. Life is so hectic right now, writing relaxes me. Hope you like this. Reviews are greatly appreciated and your patience is thoroughly packaged and packed with a huge big bow and placed under my christmas tree and definitely treasured. Thank you.


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